The way I cope with my discomfort and suffering has ripple effects for myself and others.
Some may be healing and bring a deeper resolution for me, and makes me less of a nuisance for others. Others may add to my own suffering, and it may even trigger suffering in others.
Here are some of these coping strategies, listed from healing to less healthy.
Potentially healing and leading to resolution
Inquire into how my mind creates its own experience – of a threat, deficient or inflated self, compulsion, or anything else. (Living Inquiries.)
Inquire into stressful beliefs. (The Work.)
Finding genuine love for my experience as it is. (Ho’oponopono, tonglen, metta etc.)
Release tension out of the body. (TRE.) This tension often “fuels” anxiety, depression, reactivity, wounds, trauma, compulsions, addictions and more.
Pray for resolution, healing, guidance etc.
Slightly less satisfying
Overthinking. Analyzing. Intellectualizing. Rationalizing.
Finding comfort in religion, spiritual ideas, ideology.
Daydreaming. Distractions. Entertainment.
Seeking love, acceptance.
Compulsive eating, working, sex, exercise, seeking money and status.
Even less healthy
Strong ideologies. Bigotry. Sexism. Racism. Classism. Anthropocentrism.
Compulsive use of alcohol and drugs.
All of these and more are ways of dealing with stress, discomfort, and suffering. Some may lead to healing and resolution. Some are more neutral. And some adds to the suffering for myself and others.
And really, they are ways to cope with uncomfortable sensations made uncomfortable through the imagination connected with them.
The way I cope with my discomfort and suffering sometimes creates more suffering for ourselves and others.
I can say that I push my suffering onto others. And really, it’s more a ripple effect. I act in a way that trigger additional suffering in myself and others. It triggers velcro, which can also be called beliefs, identifications, wounds, or trauma, and this can create more suffering.
Much of what I see in myself and others are coping strategies. They are ways to cope with stress, discomfort, and suffering. Or, more precisely, they are ways to cope with certain sensations and the uncomfortable meaning given to them by associated imaginations.
Here are some of these coping strategies:
Overthinking. Rationalizing. Intellectualizing.
Religion. Spiritual ideas. Seeking heaven, enlightenment, a state free of suffering.
Daydreaming. Compulsive oversleeping or undersleeping.
Food. Sex. Money. Status. Success.
Acceptance. Love. Admiration.
Bigotry. Ideology. Sexism. Racism. Anthropocentrism.
- coping strategies
- either add to or reduce suffering
- creates additional suffering or reduces suffering
- can be more intentional about it – recognize (a) are coping strategies, (b) can chose/practice other ones
- pushing suffering onto others
- when we don’t face it, then may push it onto others – directly or indirectly
- really, act in a way that trigger hangups in others so they create suffering for themselves
- coping strategies -> impact ourselves and others, sometimes unfavorably (unhealthy)
- conventional: coping w. stress, LI: coping w uncomfortable sensations (uncomfortable bc of the meaning given them from associated imagination/stories)
ripple effect, adding to suffering through the way I cope with the initial suffering/discomfort
The way we cope with our discomfort sometimes creates additional suffering for ourselves or others.
Superficially, it seems that we push our suffering onto others.
Really, we act in a way that trigger something in ourselves and others that creates additional suffering in us or others. And that something can be called velcro, beliefs, identifications, wounds, or trauma.
We sometimes use less skillful coping strategies that create more suffering for ourselves and others.
It’s good to be aware of this.