I find it interesting that most of the health problems I am diagnosed with have similar symptoms (CFS, EBV, Lyme, B12 deficiency etc.). These symptoms are mainly fatigue, brain fog (including a feeling of “cotton in the head”), and diminished executive and frontal lobe functions (planning, following through on plans, reading, remembering, reaction time).
The conventional explanation is quite simple: My system was gradually weakened, initially by stress and then EBV, which made me susceptible to all the following things (parasites, B12 deficiency etc.). And many health problems, including these, have symptoms such as fatigue and brain fog. It’s not too mysterious.
Another approach is to ask myself: If life wanted me to experience fatigue and brain fog, what would the reason be? What can I learn from it? How can it help me reorient? What’s the invitation?
To experience more of the human condition? Deepening empathy?
Get to see “what’s left” in terms of hangups, beliefs, wounds, trauma, and identifications?
Or, if the fatigue and brain fog had a protective function, what would it be? To find a sense of safety (from the world)?
There may be some truth or validity to each of these. These symptoms are common for a range of health issues. I can definitely take it as an invitation to learn and perhaps mature and deepen as a human being. And the symptoms may also have a protective function, and it’s good to look at that too.
Note: I have wondered about CFS and spirituality. It does seem that more people with CFS are into spirituality than average. It may be that people with CFS get into spirituality as a way to deal with it. Or that there is another connection. For instance, it’s possible that both CFS and getting into spirituality has to do with a wish to find refuge or escape from this world. That may be part of it for me as well. (And that doesn’t mean that spirituality can be reduced to wishing to finding refuge or escaping.)
Note 2: I am also reminded of how the chronic fatigue (CFS) label really says “we don’t know what’s going on”. And for dedicated doctors, it says “we are going to find out what’s really going on with you”. (For other doctors, it says “I can’t help you”.) In my case, I was lucky to finally find a doctor who could diagnose it and help with treatment.
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First draft….
I find it interesting that most of the health problems I am diagnosed with have similar symptoms (CFS, EBV, Lyme, B12 deficiency etc.). These symptoms are mainly fatigue, brain fog (including a feeling of “cotton in the head”), and diminished executive (frontal lobe) functions (planning, following through on plans, reading, remembering).
It’s almost as if something in me (or life) decided to experience fatigue, brain fog, and poor executive functions.
If that’s the case, why would it be?
For protection? It may seem safer than functioning as I did?
Experience more of the human connection? Deepening empathy?
Get to see “what’s left” in terms of hangups, beliefs, wounds, trauma, and identifications?
Of course, the other way to see it is that my system was gradually weakened, initially by stress and then EBV, which made me susceptible to all the following things (parasites, B12 deficiency etc.). And many health problems have symptoms such as fatigue and brain fog.
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Another approach is to ask myself: If life wanted me to experience this, what would the reason be? What can I learn from it? How can it help me reorient? What’s the invitation?
Or, if the fatigue and brain fog had a function, what would it be?
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Initial notes…..
- as if something in me wanted CFS so found it in multiple ways
- for protection? humbling? connection? experience troubles, more of the human condition?
- in any case, can be helpful to ask “if life wanted me to experience this, what would the reason be? what can I learn from it? what’s the invitation?”