When we’re entrenched in spiritual bypassing, we tend to like our relationships sunnyside-up: no confrontation, no anger, no messy feelings, nothing that leaves any egg on our face. Smiles and relentless gentleness with everyone doing their best to make nice. There is not just denial here, there is also considerable dissociation, perhaps masquerading as spiritualized detachment and equanimity. Such relational disengagement maroons us from the vulnerability and depth needed for real intimacy, leaving us in psychoemotional flatlands.
– Robert Masters in Spiritual Bypassing
I usually don’t use the words bypassing or spiritual bypassing. It’s much simpler than that. It’s fear. We use an idea to avoid meeting unexamined and unloved fear in us, and we may even do it without noticing. In this case, the fear may be of confrontation, anger, rejection, being alone, and perhaps having a certain image of ourselves or someone else be shown to be incomplete. We have unexamined and unloved fear of what those things mean.