Since the CFS returned strongly a few years ago, it’s been clear that I not only need to rest but also find a more restful way to do whatever I am doing. This goes for daily life, spiritual practices, and also healing work.
The “old” way comes with a sense of effort, pushing, and “personal will”. The “new” way is more restful, more from presence, receptivity, and trust, and is more aligned with reality and oneness.
This is especially obvious when I channel Vortex Healing. If I slip into a sense of effort, doing, and pushing, it tends to overload my system. When I relax, trust, know it’s the divine doing it, and do it more from oneness, there is a deeper relaxation and although the energies stretch my energy system it’s not at all exhausting or overwhelming.
The current pandemic is highlighting this for me. I wish to do preventative sessions for family and friends and also work on those who may be infected (two friends so far). If I do this from effort, I quickly bump up against overwhelm in my own system which makes it difficult for me to channel. And that is a strong incentive and motivation to find a more restful way to channel, and one that’s more aligned with reality and oneness.
I have explored this sufficiently so I know – more or less – my way around it. I can shift into this more restful approach, although I do still need to pay attention.
It’s certainly also helpful for me to further explore any beliefs, identities, and issues connected with this. For instance, what do I find if I examine beliefs saying “I” am doing it or that I need to push or put effort into it? What identities do I find behind the “doing” and pushing? (Doer, the one who needs to be in control, the one who wants the credit etc.) What emotional issues do I find? What do I fear would happen if I am not the “doer” or if I don’t put effort into it or (subtly) push? (Nothing will happen, it won’t work as well, I won’t be in control.)
In this way, Vortex Healing not only highlights a pattern in my life I am invited to examine and perhaps shift out of. It also becomes a laboratory where I can examine what in me creates the pushing and where I can explore another way of approaching it.
I have already explored this to some extent in my spiritual practice. I have partly emphasized approaches that inherently are more restful (natural rest, basic meditation), and partly found a way to do practices in a more restful way – more aligned with reality and oneness.
And who knows, perhaps the chronic fatigue is an invitation for me to examine this in daily life – and life as a whole – and find a more restful way to live. I have already found more restful ways to organize my daily life and do physical things. Perhaps it needs to go further and deeper.
As usual, there is a lot more to say about this topic:
A “shortcut” to shift out of the sense of doing, effort, and pushing is to remind myself that “I” – this system – is just a channel for the divine. All “I” need to do is to intend for a particular healing to happen and the divine does the rest. It also helps to have an image of me here as a channel, the client over there (in front of me), and the divine working actively on the client.
What does it mean – in this case – to channel Vortex Healing within oneness? It means to notice it’s all happening within and as what I am (AKA Big Mind, headlessness). Whatever happens in my sense fields, including any mental images and words, happens within and as what I am. It also means that – at a thought level – what thoughts call I or me, and the recipient, and the divine, all happens within and as oneness. It’s all the divine. It’s the play of the divine. It’s how the play of the divine looks in this moment.
What does the doing, effort, or pushing look like? When I explore how it looks in the sense fields, I find sensations in my head area. Specifically around the outside of the head (skin), the forehead, roof of the mouth, and throat. There is a slight tightness around the head, a slight contraction in the roof of the mouth, and a slight tightening of of the throat. This creates sensations that the ideas of doing, effort, and pushing can attach to and use to give these ideas a sense of reality and substance. I also see a mental image of me here, the client over there, and a direct connection of me “doing” the healing. (To explore this more in detail – and allow the sense of reality or charge to go out of it – I’ll need to do a more thorough exploration, for instance through Living Inquiries. I have in the past but it’s time to revisit it.)
What am I afraid would happen if I am not efforting or pushing? It won’t work. It won’t work as well. It will be out of my control. I won’t know what will happen. (In my experience: It works anyway and perhaps better when “I” get out of the way. It is always out of my control. And I never know what will happen.)