Separation consciousness is inherently painful.
And when there is some awakening in our system, it becomes even more painful. The gap and contrast seem to bring the pain up and make us more acutely aware of it.
Why do many struggle during parts of the awakening process? One reason is probably just this, that what’s left of the separation consciousness comes up and we feel the pain of it more acutely.
As I have written about elsewhere, this is part of the embodiment process. What we are may notice itself in a general sense. And yet, there are many parts of us at a human level – many subpersonalities and so on – that are still operating from separation consciousness. They were formed within separation consciousness and still live within it, and now they surface so they can join in with the awakening. They surface to be seen, felt, examined, and loved, and so they can reorganize within this new context and find healing within it.