I love the Headless Way, and I have tremendously enjoyed reading the graphic novel from 2016 called The Man with No Head: The Life and Ideas of Douglas Harding. The two pages above especially caught my attention.
A YES TO WHAT IS
How do we shift to actively welcoming what is and a wholehearted YES to what is?
There are several answers to this.
Here and now, how can we find this YES?
One way we can all explore it is through asking ourselves:
How is it to actively want what is here now?
Can I say YES to what’s here? Can I say YES to this feeling?
Can I say YES to the no in me?
This opens our mind to that possibility, we find some curiosity about it, and we may shift into the part(s) of us that already welcome it and say a YES to what is.
Befriending suffering parts of us
The suffering parts living in separation consciousness are what in us doesn’t welcome what is and says NO to what is. So befriending these help with finding our YES, as does inviting in healing for these parts of us.
This takes time and is an ongoing process, and it does prepare the ground for the YES to be more wholehearted, natural, and available in more and more situations.
Recognize as the divine
We can recognize all generally as the divine. And yet, when suffering parts of us surface, it may be easy to “forget” at some level that these too are the divine and get caught up in a no to the discomfort or suffering.
When this happens, I can ask the questions above.
I can ask: How is it to see this experience as a flavor of the divine?
And I can recognize that it’s all happening within and as what I am, and take time to take it in and let it reorganize something in me.
Maturing over time
Something in us shifts and matures over time – through seeing, living from it, noticing when we don’t live from it, and so on. It’s a kind of maturation process.
To the extent we stay involved with the awakening process and go beyond what’s familiar with us, it seems that we find a deeper and more sincere willingness in us to shift, to actively find a welcome for what is and a wholehearted YES.
Conscious commitment
Profound Declaration of Intent: My desire is that all shall be as it is since all flows from my True Nature.
Douglas Harding, quoted in The Man With No Head
Finally, we have conscious commitment. When we are ready, we may find and set a conscious commitment to actively welcome what is, and find a YES to it. This becomes a practice.
ADDITIONAL THEMES: SEEING & LIVING FROM IT
The two pages from The Man With No Head touch on some big themes in my own life, in addition to the YES:
There is a difference between seeing what we are and living from it.
There is a difference between generally seeing it and all our human parts being on board with it.
And there is a difference between passively accepting what is and actively wanting it and saying YES to it.
All these themes are connected.
Seeing what we are
First is the seeing. In some cases, that can be the easy part, especially if it comes through pointers and inquiry or if it comes spontaneously.
Living from it
Then it’s the living from it. That’s an ongoing and lifelong process. If all is ONE, how do I live in this situation?
What is it that makes living from it in all situations challenging? It may be that we “forget” and don’t notice what we are. And equally or more often, it’s because parts of our human self still operating from separation consciousness are triggered.
The way we perceive and interpret a situation trigger unhealed, unexamined, and unloved parts of us. A bubble of separation consciousness comes to the surface.
This is not wrong. It’s part of the process. These parts of us want to join in with the awakening. They want to reorganize – heal and awaken – within this new context.
The question is: how do we relate to these suffering parts of us when they visit? Do we try to slam the door? Do we join in with their fearful stories and reactivity? Or do we meet them as suffering beings that want healing? Do we meet them with kindness, receptivity, and understanding? Do we create a safe space for them to be seen, felt, loved, and heal?
How is it to say YES to these parts of us that say NO to what’s here?
NOTES / DRAFTS
- what do we welcome? includes our own reactions, inability to say YES in the moment
….
- Actively wanting what’s here
- crisis
- know, see etc.
- and don’t always live from it, many parts of us not aboard, and not always so good in how we relate to it
- passively receptive
- let life have its way with us
- leaf in the storm
- bc divine will
- is only half of the equation
- actively engaged
- be active participants
- actively leaning into what’s here
- active in our life, take charge
- makes sense at human level + we are the divine too
- lifelong process
- always clarification, deepening,
- both receptive + active and how they are two sides of the same coin
- ….
- crisis
….
On a awakening path, we will likely have phases that are more of a passive receptivity to life, and other phases that have more of an active engagement. Both are always here, in different ways. They go hand-in-hand.
…..
So how do we find the wholehearted YES?
I assume it’s two general ways. One is that something shifts and matures in us over time – through seeing, living from it, noticing when we don’t live from it, and so on. It’s a kind of maturation process.
The other is through active engagement. We see this whole process and the different parts of it, and at some point find a willingness in us to shift. To actively find a welcome for what is and a wholehearted YES.
We may also find a deep commitment to this shift. It becomes central to our day-to-day life.
This may not be something that happens once and for all. It may be something we shift into for a while and then shift out of, and then back into.
Over time and through grace, it may deepen and become more stable.
…..
I notice I shift between different variations of this. In the moment when something is triggered, I may get caught up it in – or in reacting to it – to some extent. A little later, as things calm down, I may find more of a passive acceptance of it. And sometimes, there is an active welcoming and a more wholehearted YES.
In my case, it’s definitely not just one or the other in a clear-cut way, and I assume those shades are familiar to others as well.
So how do we find the wholehearted YES?
One way we can all explore it is through asking ourselves:
How would it be to actively want what is here now?
How would it be to say YES to it?
This opens our mind to that possibility, we find some curiosity about it, and we may shift into the part(s) of us that already welcome it and say a YES to what is.
….
This is not neccesarily something that happens once and for all. It may be something we shift into for a while and then shift out of, and then back into.
Over time and through experience and grace, it can deepen and become more stable.
…..
PASSIVE RECEPTIVITY AND ACTIVE ENGAGEMENT
As who and what we are, we have both passive receptivity and active engagement built into us. They are always here. In different phases and situations in our life, one or the other may be more emphasized.
Through that, get to know each one a little more, we see that over-relying on one at the expense of the other doesn’t work so well in the long run. We notice how emotional issues tie up with both and how we use them in our life. We find an appreciation of both, how they are here now, and how to better use and live from both in our daily life.
A big theme here is actively wanting what’s here while also being actively engaged in our life.
It’s an ongoing process with always more to discover.