Mentally struggling with what’s here creates drama and stress. It doesn’t help me much since it doesn’t change what’s already here, and it distracts from taking more clear and wise action.
So how can we say YES to what’s here?
Saying YES as a human self
A natural strategy is to try to shift our human responses from saying NO to certain experiences to saying YES, and to generally say YES more often to a wider range of experiences.
We can do this in several different ways. We can use heart-centered practices to shift our habitual responses and orientation. We can inquire into any stressful beliefs that gives a NO instead of a more receptive YES. We can invite in healing for emotional issues giving a NO instead of a YES. We can use body-centered approaches to find more comfort in ourselves and trust in life, which tends to make the YES more available. We can work with gratitude. And so on.
All of this does work, to some extent. But there will always be a mix of parts of us saying YES and NO, and the NO will come up in certain situations and in response to certain experiences.
It’s natural, understandable, and ultimately innocent, and there is absolutely nothing wrong in this. It’s part of the universal human experience.
What we are is built for YES
There is another way to find this YES, and that is to notice what we are.
When we find ourselves as capacity for the world, we find our true nature, and we find that this true nature is built for YES to the world. It inherently says YES to what’s here.
What we are says YES to what’s here whether our personality likes what’s here or not, and whether our human self says NO or YES. It even says YES to our very natural human response of NO to certain experiences.
It’s a big relief to notice this. It means we don’t have to struggle to change every little human NO into a YES. We can allow our human self to be as it is, and it’s OK. The YES is already here, we just need to notice.
The practicality of this
What happens when we go into a NO or YES at a human level, and what happens when we notice the YES inherent in what we are?
As mentioned above, the NO does create some struggle, stress, and drama, and it can distract us from more engaged, kind, and wise action and responses.
A YES at a human level can help us respond in a more kind and clear way.
And noticing what we are and the YES inherent in it invites in a softening of the identification with our human responses. We see that it’s playing itself out and lives its own life. And that does help us to respond more from the YES inherent in what we are, which – as above – gives us a better chance to respond with clarity and kindness.
What this is and isn’t about
This is about saying YES to what’s already here – these experiences, this situation. It’s already here, so it makes sense to say yes to it. Life has already said yes to it, so we make it easier for ourselves if we join in with that particular yes.
It’s not about saying yes to any option or request and so on. We still use our ordinary discernment and say yes or no to different options in our life, and we can work on changing the situation we are in and set the stage for future situations we would like to be in.
This is about being a good steward of our life in two ways. First, by joining in with the YES life has already said to what’s already here. Then, by saying yes or no to options and choices in our life as best we can, to create a good and meaningful life for ourselves in the world.
What and who we are together
We are capacity for the world, and what our experiences happen within and as. And we are this human self in the world. One says YES to what’s here, and the other typically says both YES and NO. And that’s perfectly natural, innocent, and even beautiful. It adds to the immense richness of who and what we are and our experience of the world and existence.
- built for YES to what’s here
- struggle = discomfort, unease, YES = allowing, finding peace with
- as human self, can shift how I relate to, train new habits, but only imperfectly
- as what I am, built for YES to what’s here, including this human self with its struggles
Mentally struggling with what’s here creates drama and stress. So how can we say YES to what’s here?
There are many ways, including inquiry, heart-centered practices, body-centered practices, and so on.
One of the simplest and most beautiful ones is to find what we are.
When I find myself as capacity for the world, it’s not only easier for me – for this human self – to say YES to what’s here. But I get to see that what I am is already saying YES to it. It’s built into what I am.
I notice what’s already here, and that helps me consciously align with it.
Saying YES to what’s here means to say YES to what’s already here, to this experience as it already is. And that, sometimes – or almost always if I look more closely – includes saying YES to parts of me saying no to what’s here. There is a YES to the no, and what I am already says YES to the no.
It cannot help saying YES to whatever is here, including whatever in me is saying NO. It’s incapable of anything else.
This doesn’t make challenges go away, or uncomfortable experiences, or parts of me saying NO, or physical pain, or any of our universal human experiences. But it does help to find the YES that’s already here.
So what I am is built for YES to what’s here, as it is. And that makes it easier for my human self to join, including in saying YES to the no that’s also here in my human self.
This takes some of the pressure away from my human self. As this human self, some parts of me say YES to what’s here, some say NO, and I can – to some extent – invite in a shift to more often say YES to what’s here. But I don’t have to always say YES. It’s not possible, and it’s not needed. My human self – with all its yeses and nos to what’s here – is fine as it is. It’s perfectly normal and even healthy to be that way. And it’s completely OK since what I am is built for YES. What I am already is saying YES to what’s here. And I can notice it, and find myself as that YES.
I find myself as capacity for what’s here and the YES built into it. I find myself as this human self with all it’s different parts saying YES and no and perhaps struggling with an experience and saying yes or not to it. And it’s all perfectly OK, normal, innocent, and even beautiful. It creates an immense richness of experience.