Q: So you [the victimizer] are not that different from the victim?
A: In that sense, we are not different. The victim thoughts are the victimizer thoughts. The thoughts that appear as the thoughts of the victim, are the thoughts creating a sense of victim.
The following is an inner dialog with the victim and victimizer parts of me.
DIALOG WITH THE VICTIM
Can I speak with the victim?
I would like to get to know you.
Thank you. Not many take an interest in me. I feel overlooked.
You are a victim of people not wanting to get to know you?
Yes. That too.
How does P. relate to you?
He is sometimes interested in me. But he really would like me to not be here. And he sometimes gets identified with me and speaks as if he was me.
What can he do differently?
He can be more here for me. Be with me. Notice me. Guide me. He can help me.
What is not so helpful?
When he gets caught up in me, it’s not so helpful. He becomes me, and that doesn’t help him or me. For me, it’s just what I already am familiar with. And for him, it’s blinding and creates suffering.
What is helpful?
When he is with me, with respect, kindness, patience, gentle curiosity. When he genuinely want to get to know me, listen to me.
What are you?
I am a part of his system. An energy. I am created by how he responds to certain situations, when he feels like a victim. I am created from certain thoughts held as true.
What is your function?
Good question. I am not exactly sure. I imagine I am here to help him. For him to avoid repeating certain situations, and go inward and examine situations to learn from them. My presence can also help him find his own strength, autonomy, and the opposite of what I represent.
What’s your relationship with the victimizer?
I am created by the victimizer. And the victimizer wouldn’t exist without me. We create each other.
Where is the victimizer?
It’s within P. A situation trigger a sense of victimhood in him, it brings activity to me. And what activates me is his inner victimizer. He is victimizing himself through how he responds to certain situations.
Does he recognize that?
To some extent, but not fully. There is more for him to notice and acknowledge there.
What role do you play in his life?
It varies a lot. He has had periods where I haven’t been very active, where he puts me aside because it doesn’t fit who he wants to be. And he has periods where I am more present, and come up more strongly now and then. He does sometimes dive into me when things feel difficult for him, especially when his health and energy levels are not so strong.
What happens when you are more present in his life?
He becomes a victim, he takes on my role. He perceives, thinks, feels, and lives as if he is a victim. It doesn’t feel good for him, and it can create problems for him. He overlooks better solutions.
What advice do you have for him?
Bring light into me. Bring your awareness into me. Get to know me. Examine what happens when you identify with me. Get in the habit of noticing me and being with me when I am more activated without identifying with me. Recognize me as a part of you.
Get to know the victimizer-victim dynamic in yourself. And use me to find and build the reverse of what I am. Fuel your strength, confidence, and autonomy.
You sound selfless?
Yes, I am here for him. That’s my purpose. I want what’s best for him.
DIALOG WITH THE VICTIMIZER
Can I speak with the victimizer?
Who are you?
I am the victimizer. I am the part of P. he uses to victimize himself.
That doesn’t sound so good?
That’s how many people see it. I am an often overlooked part of most people. Most don’t want to acknowledge me. But I have an important function.
What is that function?
I help create the victimizer-victim experience. Without me, it wouldn’t be here.
Wouldn’t many see that as a good thing?
Yes. Although there is anther side. I have a function. I am here. I was created through evolution.
I am what anyone who takes him/her/itself to be fundamentally separate would experience now and then. I am part of the separation experience.
You are part of lila?
Yes, I am part of the dance of life, the divine, and the creativity of the mind. I am part of what happens when the mind and life takes itself to fundamentally be separate and a separate being.
How does P. relate to you?
He is curious about me and want to know more about me. He wants to get to know me.
At the same time, he feels shame about me. Right now, he had a flash where he asked himself if he really wanted to post this dialog or not.
Why does he want to get to know you?
He sees that his own victimizer-victim dynamic is not as conscious as he would like, and this sometimes creates problems and discomfort for him. Life has set up situations for him which has brought him to me.
How can he get to know you?
This is a good step.
Also, whenever he notices the victim activated in him, he can look for me. I am always here when the victim is activated. I am the one in him activating the victim. He can notice the energy of me, and also the thoughts and beliefs creating me.
The thoughts he takes as victim-thoughts are really victimizer thoughts. That’s how the victim-sense is created.
That seems important?
Yes, that’s something for him to notice and explore more. Whenever he has victim-type thoughts, he can notice that these are actually victimizer thoughts. It’s how the victim is activated, and it is how the mind is creating a victim experience for itself.
So you are not that different from the victim?
In that sense, we are not different. The victim thoughts are the victimizer thoughts. The thoughts that appear as the thoughts of the victim, are the thoughts creating a sense of victim.
What are some examples?
Poor me -> This is the thoughts of the victim. And they are also the thoughts of me, the inner victimizer, since they create a sense of victimhood. (When they are held as true, that is. If they are not held as true, they are just questions and don’t create this dynamic.)
My life is terrible -> Again, this looks like the thoughts of a victim. And they are, more honestly, the thoughts of the inner victimizer. They are the thoughts that, when believed, creates a sense of victimhood.
I don’t deserve this -> Yes, this too appears as the thought of a victim, while it’s as or more true that it’s the thoughts of the inner victimizer (when believed).
ENDING WITH VICTIM AND VICTIMIZER
Thank you both – victim and victimizer <3
Thank you! Always happy for you to explore us and get to know us a little better.
Before we end this conversation – anything more you want P. to know?
Yes, we are here for him.
We are here to create and flesh out the separation consciousness experience.
And we are here at his service when he wants to get to know us better. Any time he wants to explore us, we are here for him.
This helped me see more clearly how the victim and victimizer thoughts often (always?) are the same.
I want to see if I can notice this whenever victim thoughts appear in the next while.
Even if it wasn’t an explicit part of this dialog, I also see that any thought held as true holds within it the seed of the victimizer-victim dynamic. Holding a thought as true creates a sense of separation and being a separate self, and a separate self can be a victim.
Through this dialog, I found a genuine appreciation and love for these parts of me. They are here innocently, to create an experience, and they are here for me to get to know them.
And, yes, I am going to make this public even if I had that fleeting thought of not doing it. I had a flash image of people judging me for having an inner victimizer and talking openly about it, and then see that this is universal, innocent, and can be helpful to more than me.