I find that what I am, in my own experience, is capacity for the world as it appears to me, and what my sense fields – containing this human self and the wider world – happens within and as.
Is that it? Yes and no.
NOTICING MY MENTAL IMAGES
I find that I sometimes notice directly, and sometimes also mistake my mental images of what I am for what they refer to. It’s often a mix.
When I look for them, I can notice these images, and that helps recognize them as images and use them as pointers for what’s already here outside of any mental fabrications.
I can also investigate these images, and my relationship with them, more in detail. For instance, through the Living Inquiries. This helps me recognize the images more easily in the moment, and it also helps release some of the charge out of them.
INVITING CONTRACTIONS TO FIND WHAT THEY ARE
When I notice what I am – as capacity for my world, stillness & silence, and so on – I can also look for what in my field seems the least like this.
What in my experience, here and now, am I not recognizing as having the same nature as I have?
Usually, these are contractions – made up of mental, physical, and energetic contractions. They are parts of me still operating from separation consciousenss and from unexamined beliefs and unloved fear.
They are bubbles of separation consciousness.
When I first find myself as capacity and stillness & silence, I can notice these as having the same nature. I can rest in this noticing, and invite these contractions to find themselves as stillness & silence. This allows them to rest in it, and realign and unravel.
A VERY NATURAL PROCESS
When I do this, and especially the stillness & silence part of it, I notice it’s a very natural process. It’s so simple and natural it’s even a bit difficult to write about.
I also see that there is no differentiation between healing, awakening, and embodiment here. All three are present in this process.
Inviting contractions to find themselves as stillness & silence is healing in that it allows emotional issues to heal.
It strengthens the habit of finding my own nature and noticing what’s in my experience as having the same nature.
And it supports living from noticing what I am. It supports embodiment since these contractions inevitably color (distort) my perception and life, and when they are triggered, it’s easy for me to temporarily get caught up in them and perceive and live from separation consciousness.
INITIAL DRAFT
Notice what seems the least like what I am
When I explore what I am, I often include a particular type of exploration.
I notice what seems the least like it, and notice that too as what I am.
For instance…. I find myself as stillness & silence. Notice what seems the least like stillness and silence. Notice it too is stillness and silence. Rest with it. Allow it to find itself as that.
And the same with capacity, oneness, love, and other aspects of what I most fundamentally am.
I don’t often write about this, because I find it hard to write about. The words seem misleading. They are too crude. The reality of it is more simple and natural.
For instance, where is this “I” doing all this? The “I” is part of what I can notice as stillness and silence, capacity, love, and so on. Those words again seem too crude and what they refer to is more natural, ordinary, and simple.
Who out what is doing all of this? Is it this human self exploring itself and what it more fundamentally are? Is it what we are – Big Mind, consciousness, oneness – exploring itself in this way? Is it life exploring itself.
In a way, it’s all of those. They are all aspects of the same. Perhaps most accurately, it’s life exploring itself. It’s existence exploring itself. And in a perfectly imperfect way.
INITIAL NOTES
The sensations that least look like stillness and silence
Least look like…. Capacity, what I am, love etc
Rest with it
Allow it to find itself as that