Why is it so crucial who does, if only it gets done?

Why is it so crucial who says, if only it gets sung?

Why is it so crucial who does, if only it gets done?

– Kings of Convenience, Ask for help

This has been something I have had to explore for personal reasons. In my teens and twenties, I had a lot of ambitions and dreams. First, in art, and then in various areas of psychology (ecopsychology, transpersonal psychology, integral psychology, climate psychology and so on) and teaching and research at university level.

Mainly because of my health (not for lack of ability or opportunities otherwise), I had to see those dreams and plans fall by the wayside.

LIFE DID IT ANYWAY

And I have, fortunately, seen others do what I wished to do, or at least do parts of it or some approximation of it.

Some people are making art similar to what I wished to and dreamed of, and probably would have if I had continued.

Some are doing the work in psychology and sustainabilit I started on and wished to do.

I wanted to bring this into the world because it the world seemed to need it, just like a dish needs a certain spice.

And different people have done some kind of approximation of it.

Life did it for itself. Life gave this to itself.

I AM NOT NEEDED!

Life did it. I was not needed.

There is a huge relief in me in recognizing that. I am not needed!

That recognition takes a lot of the weight off my shoulders. Life gave it to itself.

MY OWN PROCESS

If certain parts of us have unmet needs and wants, and we experience certain forms of lack, we may feel that we want to be needed. We want recognition. We want to do certain things in the world.

It’s natural, innocent, and even – to some extent – healthy.

And yet, there are unexamined assumptions behind this, and unmet and unloved fears.

What these parts of me really, genuinely, deeply want is to get all this from me. I am the only one in the position to give to these parts of me what they need and want.

As I explore this, examine the unexamined stories, find love for the fear, and give to these parts what they really want and need, I see that I am not needed, and that’s a huge relief. I also see that I don’t need recognition or acceptance from the world, or to do certain things in the world, to be OK or acceptable or lovable or whatever lack these impulses come from.

This is still a process for me, there is still something left, and I have also found far more genuine peace with it.

And in the process, I have hopefully clarified a few things and perhaps even matured a bit.

And who knows what will happen? The rest of the story has not been written yet. I can easily find a part of me open and curious about what’s next.

DRAFT FRAGMENTS

And yet, it’s not true that any of us are needed. It’s not true I need acknowledgment or recognition from others to feel OK about myself. It’s not true I need to do certain things in the world in order to be OK.

….

LIFE DID IT ANYWAY & I WAS NOT NEEDED 

And I have, fortunately, seen others do what I wished to do, or at least do parts of it or some approximation of it. 

Life did it. I was not needed. 

There is a huge relief in me in recognizing that. I am not needed! 

And I have learned a lot from this process that I otherwise wouldn’t have, at least not in this way.

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