The sobering effect of working on ourselves

Many of us are probably familiar with both of these. At times, we may take pride in knowing a bit about spiritual dynamics and pointers. And when we actually apply them and work on ourselves, it’s sobering.

It’s sobering in a very good way.

We are focused on actually applying it and allowing it to work on ourselves, instead of displaying anything to ourselves and others. At least, in the moment when we apply it.

We get to see that reality is far more complex, messy, and unpredictable than any idea or theory. A map is often simple and clear. The terrain is often messy, confusing, and complex.

We get to see that it requires far more from us when we apply it and invite it to work on us and transform us. Understanding a map is simple, applying it demands a lot – and eventually everything – from us.

We get to see that we can only apply it imperfectly.

We may discover how much there is to work on in ourselves. For most of us, there is an apparently endless amount of hangups, emotional issues, identifications, wounds, and so on. And each of these inevitably color our perception and life.

We may find that there are some areas of us, triggered by some situations and areas of life, we are unable to deal with very well. We may be unable to effectively work with deep trauma and fear in ourselves, at least consistently and whenever it comes up.

We may discover that our familiar tools and approaches don’t always work, or don’t work as they did, especially when deeper layers of hangups and wounds come to the surface. It brings us back to being a beginner.

We may realize that we don’t know what’s left to discover in ourselves, including when it comes to wounds, hangups, and trauma.

We may keep noticing that others, who may have far less knowledge than us about these things, may be far ahead of us in certain areas of life. They may live more from their heart. They may have everyday wisdom that goes beyond our own. They may live in a more straightforward and kind way. They may be more genuinely realistic about themselves. They may live in a way that seems to more directly benefit the larger whole. And so on.

We get to see that we are in the same boat as everyone else, in several different ways. Whatever story we have about anyone or anything in the world, we can turn it around it to ourselves and find where and how it applies – as much or more. We may discover that the world, to us, happens within our sense fields and literally within and as what we are.

We may find there is always further to go in all areas of healing and awakening. In that sense, we are always beginning.

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