Brief notes on healing and awakening and occasional personal things – vol. 31

This is one in a series of posts with brief notes on healing, awakening, and personal things. These are more spontaneous and less comprehensive than the regular articles. Some may be made into a regular article in time.


I rarely if ever refer to popular topics from science here, like the vagus nerve or quantum physics.

Why? If I love science and have spent a good amount of time exploring these and other topics, why don’t I refer more to it when I write here? (For instance, in my teens and twenties, I read everything I could find about the connection between quantum physics and spirituality/philosophy.)

The main reason is that our understanding of these topics is very specific to our time and place.

The content of science always changes. The way we think about the vagus nerve and quantum physics today will likely be outdated in a few years or decades, and even more so in a few centuries.

Similarly, our understanding of these topics is very incomplete. We are only seeing fragments of a bigger picture.

Some current views on quantum physics may tie in with some insights from perennial spirituality, and that may quickly change as we understand quantum physics differently in the years ahead. And the vagus nerve is probably important for regulating our nervous system and system in general, and it’s only one small piece of a much larger dynamic whole.

It doesn’t mean that these topics are not important. I love that people are studying and thinking about it, and share it with the rest of us. That’s how science works.

But it does mean that I won’t refer to it much here. I prefer to focus on what seems a bit more timeless. And I am aware that the way I see and talk about it will inevitably reflect my own time and culture.

NOVEMBER 10, 2021


Wishful thinking is fearful thinking, and closed thinking is fearful thinking.

Because of my chronic illness, I have become quite familiar with these dynamics.

Some people say: This will help you. It’s all rooted in your psyche. Heal your issues and your body will follow. And so on.

And some say: Nothing can be done. You just have to live with it.

I can find both and more in myself and my own thinking. After all, my own thinking is the reflection of the thinking of others in my society and culture.

I prefer to keep an open mind and approach it as an experiment.

What happens if I adopt a particular view? What are the practical consequences? Is there something useful in it if I hold it lightly?

What happens if I try this approach and this healing or treatment?

[made into regular article]


This is pretty obvious, but a good reminder.

My own thinking is a reflection of the thinking of others – in my society, culture, and subcultures.

My thinking is not personal.

It can seem personal because that’s part of the thinking of this culture. We are trained to assume our thinking is personal, so we tend to assume just that.

In reality, our thinking is far from personal. My stressful thoughts are universal – to this culture or perhaps even humanity as a whole and across times and cultures. And the same goes for my maps and frameworks about myself and the world, these too are shared by many. Even that there is a slight uniqueness and flavor to our thinking is universal.


As human beings, we have some unique flavor.

And it’s also all universal, in several different ways.

Everything in us comes from somewhere else. The innumerable causes of everything we are and experience go back to beginning of this universe (if there is any) and stretches out to the widest extent of existence.

We are the local eyes, ears, thoughts, and feelings of the universe.

The world is our mirror. We can take any story we have about anyone or anything, turn it around to ourselves, and find several specific examples of how it’s true for us in the moment and at times in the past.

To us, the world happens within our sense fields. It happens within and as what we are.

There is even a universality to our unique flavor. Every being has a unique flavor. Every being is a slightly different way for the universe to express, explore, and experience itself.

DECEMBER 1, 2021


I don’t usually write about these things since it’s a distraction, and these things are relatively common, but I thought I would mention it.

This afternoon, my wife was out while I was at the house resting in bed. I had my earbuds in, which block sounds from the outside, and yet I heard her voice very clearly calling my name. I took my earbuds out, and she was not there. A few seconds later, she called to tell me a delivery person was at the door.

It’s not the first time this has happened, and a lot of similar things happens as well. For instance, we sometimes have nearly identical dreams literally at the same time.


I love vultures. I loved them when I lived in the countryside of Wisconsin (Mount Horeb), and I love them when I see them where I am now.

They are majestic and beautiful birds. They clean up nature. They are an essential part of how ecosystems work.

For whatever reason, our culture has a bias against vultures. It may be because we instinctively want to avoid death, decay, and so on, perhaps because of the risk of infection. It may be an evolutionary instinct.

Fortunately, we have the ability to recognize that bias in our culture, and also the instinct to avoid corpses and decay which may be built into us, and we can recognize the beauty and vital function of these fellow creatures.


Individually and collectively, the reason we don’t see a desired change is typically not a lack of solutions, it’s readiness and willingness.

When it comes to human rights and ecological sustainability, the reason for the lack of change is not a lack of solutions. It’s a lack of collective readiness and willingness.

And the reason we don’t change individually is the same. We have access to the solutions. It’s more about readiness and willingness, at a level far beyond what’s conscious to us.

We may not be ready or willing, partly because we – collectively and individually – are made up of many parts with their own agenda and processes.

It’s not all about us or what we consciously take ourselves to be. It’s about life living its life locally as and through us. It’s about the local readiness and willingness of life to make any particular change.


When we are more healed and mature, we naturally act in a more ethical way. And perhaps even more so if we notice our own nature, are familiar with it, and are familiar with living from it.

We realize that it helps us to treat others well. We receive what we give.

We realize it feels better to act with kindness, integrity, and authenticity. It’s more in accordance with who and what we are.

We may realize that the world is our mirror. What I see out there reflects parts of me, and the way I treat others and the world reflects how I treat myself.

We may discover that to us, the world happens within and as what we are. To me, there is no fundamental I or other. It’s all happening within and as what I am. So it makes sense to treat it all with respect, curiosity, kindness, authenticity, and integrity.

It’s similar with balance. It’s a pointer that’s useful for a while and in some situations, and it mimicks what happens naturally when we are more healed, mature, and live from noticing what we are.

What do we mean by balance?

It can mean to include a wide range of viewpoints in how we see something, and find the limited validity in each one. This mental receptivity and fluidity tends to happen naturally when we are more healed and mature.

This is an orientation that shows up in our life in what many would call balance. It helps us balance how we view others, the world, and ourselves, and it helps us balance how we live our life.

DECEMBER 15, 2021


Two days ago, I was at an outdoor lunch with friends. Their dog got sick and I spent some time channeling for her.

In my mind’s eye, I saw her walk back to the car. And when I checked in with where the process seemed to be going, I sensed release, peace, and light. I interpreted this as her getting better.

She was able to walk back to the car on her own, so that was accurate. And she died the day after. My sensing – of release, peace, and light – was perhaps accurate, but my interpretation was off.

This has happened a few times now.

When someone is close to dying, I have sensed the approach of a similar release, peace, and light. Sometimes, I have interpreted it as them getting better while, in reality, they died. I assume I may learn to recognize the pattern eventually.

Interestingly enough, when I connect with people who have recently died, I have sensed a variety of things. One seemed caught up in turmoil and confusion. With another, I sensed a lot of anger. Another seemed to have a sense of coming home, and of release, peace, and rest.

The first was an atheist, as far as I know. Knowing a bit about his family, I wonder if the second may have had a lot of suppressed anger in his system. The third was a conventional evangelical Christian and had struggled with cancer for a while. Of course, my sensing may be off. And if it is accurate, there may not be a connection between what I sensed and these stories. They are just guesses.

DECEMBER 18, 2021


I usually focus on pragmatic and down-to-earth topics here. (Although some may disagree! Especially if they are unfamiliar with these topics.)

And sometimes, it’s worth mentioning things that may go a bit outside of what we easily can check out for ourselves. That’s part of life too.

Almost exactly a year ago, my partner and I stayed in the guest house at my parents’ house outside of Oslo in Norway. In the middle of the night, around 3pm, we would sometimes wake up to the sound of a hammer (or sledgehammer) hitting a rock. It seemed to come from the neighbor plot where they recently had torn down the old house and were in the process of building the foundation of a new house. This happened several nights and the sound was relatively loud and unmistakable. I would lie in bed listening to it for a while, and each time when I got up to go outside to see where the sound came from, it would immediately stop.

We both also felt the presence of someone disincarnated and channeled to help this person move on. After channeling over some days, we felt the presence more distant and the sound didn’t return.

Last night, sleeping in a house on the outskirts of a small traditional village in Colombia, I heard it again. It happened at the same time of night (2:30), the sound was exactly the same, and the rhythm of the sound was the same. I listened to it for a while in bed, and as soon as I got up to see where it came from, it ended. I did make an audio recording of it while in bed.

I don’t know what this is, and am open for many possibilities. What’s strange is (a) the sound of a hammer rhythmically hitting a rock at the middle of the night and (b) it now happening in a second location.

I looked at the audio file, and see that the hits are about five seconds apart. Also, I seemed to only have recorded two of them more clearly. Here is the file with the two hits. The windows were closed (bc of indoor cat) so I had to increase the volume to be able to hear the hits more clearly, which also means the white noise is louder.


I have seen several articles on the narcissist-empath dynamic recently.

I understand they are meant well, and there may be pointers in them that are helpful for someone.

At the same time, there are a few important points sometimes overlooked in these articles.

(a) It’s good to leave diagnoses to professionals. And many professionals are wise enough to avoid diagnoses altogether unless it’s for insurance purposes.

(b) Labels sometimes say more about us than the ones we label, and we are all far more than and different from any label.

(c) Narcissism and empathicism (?) are dimensions. We all fall somewhere on each of the scales, and likely in different places on the scale in different situations and areas of life, and it changes over time.

(d) We all have both in ourselves. If I have a story about someone or something, I can turn it around to myself and find examples of how it’s valid.

And none of this excuses harmful behavior. If someone treats us in a way that doesn’t seem right, it’s in our best interest to stand up for ourselves and take whatever action seems the most kind and wise.


I keep seeing people talking about picking up feelings that are not theirs, and so on.

I have never quite understood it.

When people say those things, they seem to talk about their reactions to a situation they find themselves in. And our reaction is always ours.

Not only that, when it comes up, it’s an invaluable opportunity to see more of what’s here, get to know it, befriend it, shift how I relate to it, see underlying beliefs and issues, and invite in healing and maturing around the whole thing.

So (1) my reaction is my reaction, and (2) why would I want it to be anything else when it can be so valuable?

Of course, this all depends on our orientation and how invested we are in healing, maturing, and waking up.

The more invested we are, the more inclined we are to embrace whatever comes up and use it as an opportunity to heal, mature, and clarify for ourselves what we are.

There is more to this as well.

The world is my mirror. What I see in others or out there in the world in general is also here in me. I can take any story about anyone or anything in the world, turn it to myself, and find genuine examples of how it’s true now and in the past. If I divide too strongly in “yours” and “mine”, I again miss out of an invaluable opportunity to “own” what’s here and use it to explore and find healing, maturing, and clarification of what I am.

And to me, the world happens within and as what I am.

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