I saw a post from Jeff Foster that I, for a second, read as “I am sorry, awakening”. The title was “A sorry awakening”, but I like my misreading and it gave me the impulse to have a dialog with awakening.
How are you?
I am fine. You?
I am OK. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?
What are you?
Hm. I am what you see me as and much more. You consciously only get only a part of it. And I am also much less, since I am the most simple.
How does P. relate to you?
He got thrown into me when he was 15-16, without asking for it and without having much preparation or support, so he is a bit ambivalent about me. Since he got thrown into it, he is fascinated by me and is trying to get to know me better and understand me since he thinks it will help him navigate me and life.
Does it help him?
Well, to some extent. Although his intellectual understanding only helps to a small degree. It’s more about learning to swim in me, or rather swim in the noticing of what he is, as a fish swims in the water.
Is he learning to swim?
It’s happening. It’s a process.
Is P. awake?
You already know the traditional answer: P. cannot be awake since he is happening within and as what he more fundamentally am. That’s not wrong, but there is another way to see it. P. can be more or less conscious of what he more fundamentally am, he can live from it more or less wholeheartedly, and he can allow his unawake parts to join in with this noticing and awakening. Of course, all of that happens within and as what he is. It’s all movements of the mind, or life, reality, existence, the universe.
So what about him specifically?
Hm. He is in the process, as everyone is. He is no different from anyone else. Some are not conscious of what they are. Some have glimpses without recognizing it for what it is. Some have had glimpses, and then try to refind it. Some notice it without living from it so much. Some notice and live from it, in some situations and to some extent. Some consciously invite the unawake parts of them to join in with the noticing. And so on. He is somewhere in there, as everyone else.
You don’t seem too concerned about pinpointing it?
Right, it’s a process. Life brings up what he needs to explore here and now, and it’s perfect for where he is at. It cannot not be perfect. And that’s also how it is for every being.
How do you help him?
Hm. I am not sure if I help him. I am not here to help him. I am just a part of life. I am a part of the process of the life of all beings. He and others may think I help him, and they may seek me assuming I’ll help them, and that’s part of the process too. It’s not really true, although it may seem that way. It’s also not true that I don’t help. The question doesn’t really apply.
What do people not get about you?
Do you mean misconceptions? There are many, of course. They may think I am a “thing” they can find and get and own. They may think I’ll fix their problems. They may think I’ll give them only bliss. In general, people tend to project their hopes and dreams on me, and although the essence of it is not wrong, it’s also not the whole picture. With me comes what they tend to experience as challenges, discomfort, growing pains, and so on. All of this is, as I notice I like to say, part of the process.
I notice you don’t go into specifics very much?
I can, if you want. But life tends to take care of the specifics. Life gives all beings what they need to stay in this process. It’s unavoidable. It’s all happening within and as life. It’s all happening within and as what all beings already are. The process unfolds.
You talk about process?
Yes, I am a process. I am life unfolding. I am the unfolding of what all beings more fundamentally are.
You seem to talk about yourself in two ways: As the process of all life, and also as a more conscious noticing of what we more fundamentally are?
Yes, that’s true. Both are here.
All life happens as part of the unfolding, and you could say the unfolding within and as me. It all happens within and as the awakening process.
At the same time, most talk about me as the part of the process that happens after they get more consciously aware of me.
Are you the purpose of life?
No. I am just one of the aspects of how life unfolds. Any “purpose” is what’s here now, as it is.
Do people, in general, get you?
That’s a strange question. I am not really something to get. I am something that’s lived, whether they are consciously aware of it or not. It doesn’t matter if they “get” me or not, although they will be fascinated by me, explore me, learn about me, talk about me, and so on. And all of that is part of the unfolding and process too.
Going back to what gave P. the idea for this dialog: Does he, or anyone, have something to be sorry to you for?
You have some funny questions! I’ll play along. Not really, of course. All that’s happening is life unfolding. And yet, some may experience some remorse and so on. For instance, they may realize they put a lot of ideas on me, and perceived and talked and even – to some extent – lived as if it was true. They may feel an urge to say “I am sorry” when they realize that, which is also part of the process.
Would these questions and answers be different if they happened through someone else than P.?
Yes, of course. All of this is filtered through his filters – from culture, biology, the way this universe is set up and unfolding, and so on. Someone else will have different filters. Some of what comes out will tend to be more essential and (apparently) universal, and it will all be colored by the individual. This is life exploring itself through all beings, and in each case a little differently. It’s all part of the richness of life experiencing and exploring itself.
Do you have any advice for P.?
Just what he already knows. He is now in a new situation that requires him to get engaged more in life again, and that’s good for him. It’s the next step. It’s part of the cycles of life and his life.