In my experience, it’s difficult for me to know where I am in the healing, maturing, and even awakening and embodiment process. I have thoughts about it, but do I know for certain? Also, is it important?
HEALING AND AWAKENING
There are several sides to this.
I may work on a particular emotional issue. It subsides, I cannot easily retrigger it, and I may even feel and act saner in situations that previously triggered it. But do I know it’s healed?
The reality is that I cannot know for certain.
There may be aspects of the issue I haven’t addressed. Or related and similar issues that are part of a network. Or underlying issues that fueled this and other issues. Also, my conscious attitude or a state may temporarily override the issue, not allowing it to surface even in situations that previously did trigger it.
All of these are real possibilities, and it’s not a problem. If it comes up again, it just means there is more for me to explore and get to know.
I may grow and mature in one or more areas of life, and not in other areas. I may not even notice until life puts me in a situation where the lack of growth and maturing in some areas becomes very obvious.
The apparent awakening that’s here may seem timeless and obvious, and yet it may turn out to be a temporary state. Unawake parts of me may at any point be triggered and hook attention so I perceive and act from these unawake parts. Unawake parts of me, whether they are triggered or not, inevitably color my perception and actions.
In general, it seems there are always new layers of healing, growing, awakening, and embodiment. There is always more to explore and get to know. And if we are honest with ourselves, all of it is – in one way or another – surprising to us.
COMFORTING STORIES
I assume just about anyone on a healing or awakening path sometimes has had these thoughts.
This issue is healed. This class was profoundly transformative. Something in me shifted for good. I am so much more mature now than I was.
If we tell ourselves these stories and hold onto them as if they are important, what may be behind it?
One answer is that we may lack experience. I have the impression that I see these statements more often from people relatively early in their healing or awakening process (5-10 years?). They may have enough experience to have found effective tools, and they don’t yet have enough experience to question the validity of the “this is healed” or “this awakening is stable” statements.
Another is that it helps us maintain a desired image of ourselves and our process. Perhaps an emotional issue has troubled us greatly in the past, it’s now milder, and it feels comforting to tell ourselves it’s mostly (or completely) healed.
That’s natural, ordinary, and ultimately innocent.
It’s one of many crutches we use at different phases in our life and in our healing, maturing, and awakening process.
It’s necessary until it isn’t.
DRAWBACKS OF HOLDING ONTO THIS TYPE OF STORIES
If we hold onto these stories, we are out of alignment with reality. We tell ourselves something we cannot know for certain. We use it to cover up painful identities and emotional issues.
This will inevitably rub up against life and reality, and we create discomfort for ourselves to the extent we keep holding onto the stories. And in that discomfort is an invitation to look more closely at what’s happening.
EXPLORING WHAT’S BEHIND THESE STORIES
If we are curious about this, how can we explore it for ourselves?
The most effective approaches I have found are different forms of inquiry. We can identify and examine our stories using The Work of Byron Katie. And we can examine identities, fears, and compulsions through the Living Inquiries.
We can identify and invite in healing for any emotional issues behind this using whatever works best for us.
We can invite in a shift in our relationship to the scared (fearful, hopeful) parts of us of this through tonglen, ho’oponopono, and similar approaches.
We can explore any contractions in us through this. We can get to know them, befriend them, give them what they need, notice their nature, invite them to notice their own nature, and allow them to transform within that noticing.
A MORE PEACEFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH IT ALL
Of course, some don’t have this particular issue. They already hold all these stories lightly or they don’t seem relevant.
If we have this issue, it tends to shift over time. With experience, and perhaps through a more intentional investigation, we find more ease and peace around this. We hold our stories about all of it more lightly and with more receptivity and curiosity and expectations to be surprised. We see it’s all just part of the adventure.
INITIAL OUTLINE
- i’ve done so much growth and healing
- see this a lot, especially among those relatively early in the process (5-10 years in?)
- learned enough to find effective approaches
- not enough experience to see that we don’t know
- impossible to really know where we are in the process, to what extent something is healed etc.
- even if very experienced, difficult to know what’s states vs deeper transformation
- wishful thinking, not honest w. oneself
- holding up a carrot for oneself, comforting idea,
- a crutch, neccesary until isn’t
- see this a lot, especially among those relatively early in the process (5-10 years in?)
why important?
…..
DRAFT THREE
In my experience, it’s difficult for me to know where I am in the healing, maturing, and even awakening and embodiment process. I can have thoughts about it, but do I know for certain?
I may work on an emotional issue, and it subsides, I cannot easily retrigger it, and I may even feel and act more sane in situations that previously triggered it. But do I know it’s healed?
Do I know it won’t come up again? Do I know there are not more sides to the issues? Do I know there are not related and underlying issues that may take similar forms in the future? Do I know it’s not just my conscious attitude that temporarily overrides it? Do I know I am not just in a temporary state that doesn’t allow it to come to the surface?
All of these are real possibilities, and it’s not a problem. If it comes up again, it just means there is more for me to explore and get to know.
In general, it seems there are always new layers of healing, awakening, and embodiment. There is always more to explore and get to know. And some of it may be surprising to us. If we are honest with ourselves, all of it is – in one way or another – surprising to us.
WHY DO WE TELL OURSELVES THESE STORIES?
I assume just about anyone on a healing or awakening path sometimes has had these thoughts.
This issue is healed. This class was profoundly transformative. Something in me shifted for good.
Why do we tell ourselves these stories?
One answer may be that we lack experience. I have the impression that I see these statements more often from people relatively early in their healing or awakening process. They may have enough experience to have found effective tools, and they don’t yet have enough experience to question the validity of the “this is healed” or “this awakening is stable” statements. (Maybe it often happens 5-10 years into the process?)
Another is that it helps us maintain a desired image of ourselves and our process. Perhaps these issues have troubled us greatly in the past, they are now milder, and it feels comforting to tell ourselves they are mostly (or completely) healed.
That’s natural, ordinary, and ultimately innocent.
It’s one of many crutches we use at different phases in our life and healing or awakening process.
It’s necessary until it isn’t.
And it does come with some drawbacks. If we hold onto these stories, we are out of alignment with reality. We tell ourselves something we cannot know for certain. We use it to cover up painful identities and emotional issues.
EXPLORING WHAT’S BEHIND THESE STORIES
If we are curious about this, how can we explore it for ourselves?
The most effective approaches I have found are different forms of inquiry. We can identify and examine our stories using The Work of Byron Katie. And we can examine identities, fears, and compulsions through the Living Inquiries.
We can identify and invite in healing for any emotional issues behind this using whatever works best for us.
We can invite in a shift in our relationship to the scared (fearful, hopeful) parts of us of this through tonglen, ho’oponopono, and similar approaches.
We can explore any contractions in us through this. We can get to know them, befriend them, give them what they need, notice their nature, invite them to notice their own nature, and allow them to transform within that noticing.
A MORE PEACEFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH IT ALL
Of course, some don’t have this particular issue. They already hold all these stories lightly or they don’t seem relevant.
If we have this issue, it tends to shift over time. With experience, and perhaps through a more intentional investigation, we find more ease and peace around this. We hold our stories about all of it more lightly and with more receptivity and curiosity and expectations to be surprised. We see it’s all just part of the adventure.
….
INITIAL DRAFT
I’ve done so much growth and healing. I worked on this issue, and it completely cleared!
These are comments I hear frequently, especially among those relatively early in the process.
After some years, we have learned enough to find relatively effective approaches. And we may not have enough experience to see that we really don’t know.
It’s impossible to really know where we are in the process, to what we extent something is healed, and so on.
An issue may go dormant. Our conscious attitude may override it for a while. There may be underlying and related issues remaining, and these may even recreate the initial issue.
Even if we are more experienced, it can be difficult to know what’s a temporary state and what’s a deeper transformation.
It’s wishful thinking. It’s a way to comfort ourselves. Maintain a desired image. Hold up a carrot for ourselves.
And it’s not being honest with ourselves.
It’s a crutch, as so much else. And it’s necessary until it isn’t.
…..
DRAFT FRAGMENTS
I tend to especially see it among those with enough experience to have found relatively effective approaches to healing and awakening, and with not quite enough experience to hold it all more lightly.
…..
So why do we tell ourselves these stories? I imagine it’s wishful thinking. A desire to maintain or create a certain image of ourselves. A wish to feel better about ourselves.
….
For me, different forms of inquiry – and especially The Work of Byron Katie and Living Inquiries – have been most helpful in examining these tendencies in myself. It has helped me find what’s more honest for me and hold it all more lightly.
…..
DRAFT 2
I’ve done so much growth and healing. I experienced a deep transformation during this class. Something really shifted. I worked on this issue, and it completely cleared!
These are probably familiar thoughts for anyone on a healing or awakening path.
I tend to especially see it among people a few years into a conscious healing or awakening process. We may have enough experience to have found relatively effective approaches to healing and awakening. And not quite enough experience to know we cannot know for certain.
It’s difficult to know for certain where we are in the process. Issues may go dormant and then surface again. Our conscious attitude may temporarily override an issue. We seduce ourselves with our fearful and wishful thinking. Underlying and related issues may still remain, creating something similar to the initial issue. And so on.
Even with more experience, it can be difficult to know what’s a temporary state and what’s a deeper transformation.
Why do we tell ourselves these stories? I imagine it’s wishful thinking. A desire to maintain or create a certain image of ourselves. A wish to feel better about ourselves.
As with so much, it’s natural, ordinary, and ultimately innocent.
And it comes with some drawbacks. We are not really honest with ourselves. We cling to certain ideas and images that may be out of alignment with reality. We feel a need to uphold, maintain, and defend these ideas. We are at odds with ourselves and reality.
It’s a crutch. And as with these crutches in general, it’s necessary until it isn’t.
What can we do if we wish to explore this for ourselves?
For me, different forms of inquiry – and especially The Work of Byron Katie and Living Inquiries – have been helpful in examining these tendencies in myself. It has helped me find what’s more honest for me and to hold it all a little more lightly. (And, yes, those stories are questions too and something to hold lightly.)
…..
Do I know it won’t come up again? Do I know there are not more sides to the issues? Do I know there are not related and underlying issues that may take the a similar forms to the issue in the future? Do I know it’s not just my conscious attitude that temporarily overrides it? Do I know I am not just in a temporary state where it doesn’t come up?
…..
The most effective approaches I have found are (as usual) different forms of inquiry. We can identify and examine our stories using The Work of Byron Katie. And we can examine identities, fears, and compulsions through the Living Inquiries.
We can also identify and invite in healing for any emotional issues behind this using whatever works best for us.
And we can invite in a shift in our relationship to all of this through tonglen, ho’oponopono and similar approaches.
……