I am visiting a spiritual group. A respected Tibetan teacher arrives, looks into my eyes for a while, and asks me to lead a guided meditation for the group. I find myself doing a version of the befriend-and-wake-up process. Notice any contractions, any tension, reactivity. Notice the space it’s happening within. Notice the space within the contraction. Notice it’s all made up of space. I put words on what’s helpful for me as I explore this for myself, and share it with the group.
When he looked into my eyes, there was a mutual recognition. And it all has a playful quality.
The mutual recognition is similar to what I most clearly experienced when I had a couple of hours alone with Adyashanti some years ago. In the dream, it all has a playful quality. The group itself is not affiliated with Tibetan Buddhism or any one particular tradition. And the guided meditation is spontaneous, easy, and playful, and the words reflect my own process at the moment.
I am not sure what this dream is about. The essence of the guided meditation is how I live my life already, with these types of inner explorations for myself. Just like the group, I am not affiliated with any particular tradition. These days, I am not in any groups, I am not in contact with any teachers, and I am not leading any guided meditations. And I have a deep respect for Tibetan Buddhism and teachers within that tradition.
When I visit groups in waking life, it’s in the role of a beginner, so – obviously – nobody asks me to lead anything. I probably could lead something, in some settings, if it’s clear that it’s just an experiment and nothing else. But I have issues around whatever I share being too obvious, too banal, and so on.
From how I have seen students relating to teachers, I also see a lot of disadvantages to putting myself in that position. There tend to be a lot of projections all around.
Is the dream pointing out some of the blocks and issues I have around this? In the dream, it was effortless and playful and felt natural.
I know there are people who could benefit from me sharing more. And perhaps it would be natural for me to do so, on a very small scale, if I didn’t have some of the issues I have. I don’t know.
Note: Dreams cover the spectrum of (a) reflecting only who and what we are and (b) saying something about our waking life situation. When I explore and later write about my dreams, I usually include both and shift from one to the other without always labeling them one or the other. It’s sometimes useful to differentiate the two more clearly. In this case, (a) an inner master is inviting me to guide myself in meditation. Perhaps that’s needed more right now. And (b) the dream may also show me that I am ready to do this more in waking life.
DRAFT
From how I have seen students relating to teachers, I see a lot of drawbacks to putting myself in that position. Some students project their hopes and fears onto the teacher. Admire them. Think they have special powers. Want life advice from them on topics outside of their field of expertise. There tend to be a lot of projections all around.