Dialog is an important part of many approaches to healing.
And this includes a dialog with parts of ourselves, or with people from our past, in the world, creatures from mythology, dream characters, animals, plants, landscapes, or anything else. These all represent current parts of ourselves.
THE PROCESS
I have a version I find very helpful:
Identify someone from your past (or present) you have a difficult or unresolved relationship with.
Visualize that person as healed, whole, wise, and kind. Visualize a mature version of that person.
Dialog with that person. Tell her or him how you feel about your relationship or what happened in the past. Listen for their answer. Continue with the dialog as it naturally unfolds.
Ask them about their experience and listen to their answer. Ask them how they experienced you. Ask them how they would like your relationship to be. And so on.
Keep it real and authentic, and remember that the other is stably healed, whole, wise, and kind.
You can also spend time in silence with that person, or hug and rest in that for a while.
Continue until you experience a deeper resolution and perhaps even peace.
AN EXAMPLE FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE
I did this with some bullies from school and was surprised by some of what they said, how authentic it all felt, and the sense of resolution that came out of it. (They told me about their own pain from family problems, that they saw me as rejecting them, and so on.)
It obviously didn’t heal everything around the situation. In response to the original situation, my mind created deeper coping patterns (wanting to hide, etc.) that require more exploration. But it did shift how I consciously relate to the original situation and people.
When I look back at it now, it feels and seems quite different. I have far more peace with it.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
I imagine some may say: But it’s not true. The other person is not like that. It’s fake. If I do this, I would just deceive myself.
Yes, it may not be true in a conventional sense and in the world. The other person may not be like that. And that’s fine. This is about your own inner process.
The other person represents a side of you. And that side of you has the potential to be whole, healed, kind, and wise. You are tapping into that potential. You are helping that side of you find how it is when it’s more whole, healed, kind, and wise, and you get a sense of how it is.
Also, this is about gaining insight into the situation. How would a whole, healed, kind, and wise person see the situation? What would she or he say? What would that person say, if she or he was healed, kind, and mature?
Finally, we all have the potential to be that way. All the different sides of us have that potential. And each of us as an individual has that potential. It’s in us all. This exploration reminds us of that.