Brain fog

I have had unusually strong brain fog for the last week or so, which is why I haven’t written much here. (Apart from some brief articles in the Reflections and Brief Notes posts.)

So I thought I would share a little about the brain fog.

I got it when I initially got CFS when I was fifteen, and it has stayed with me since then.

It has many aspects: It feels like cotton in and around my head. It makes it difficult for me to focus on anything for very long. It’s often difficult to find words when I speak and to string together something very coherent. (It’s easier to write, for some reason.) When it’s strong, I am in a daze. I feel like I am underwater. My judgment is strongly impaired. It’s almost difficult to remember my name. (Although I have never actually forgotten it!) And it makes it difficult to get anything done.

What helps? Fresh air. Some light movement. (Often Self-Breema in my case.) Good food. (Fresh, organic, local, eating low on the food chain, avoid processed foods.) Good sleep. (CBD oil helps me a lot.) Bone broth. (Fills deep energy reserves.) Energizing. (Vortex Healing.) All of this helps to some extent.

The brain fog also gives me ample opportunity to explore.

I notice parts of me reacting to it. (Out of fear and taking the form of fear, sadness, grief, frustration, anger, etc.) I meet these. Stay with them. Notice they are allowed as they are (by mind, life, existence), and join in with that allowing. See they come from love and a wish to protect me. Find love for them.

I say “thank you” to the brain fog, the parts of me reacting to it, life, and existence. I often repeat this for a while. (Helps me shift my relationship to it.)

I sometimes look at scary thoughts about it. “It will never go away”, “I can’t function”, “I will behave strangely or out of character, and that means….” (“She won’t like me”, “He will judge me”). To some extent, I recognize these as fearful thoughts and not reality, and that if the worst happens, I can find peace with that too. And if I want to be more thorough, I do an inquiry on it.

I notice the brain fog – the experience of cotton in my head and so on – happens within and as what I am. To me, they are made up of what everything else is made up of. They are part of the play of the mind. The play of life. Even, the play of the divine. They are a flavor of the divine.

I notice the clarity inherent in the consciousness I am independent of the particular content of consciousness – which these days happen to be (what thoughts label) brain fog.

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