I am with my cousin Knut Johan. We are in nature, he is dying, and we both know. We are having a quiet and peaceful conversation. I hold his hand. After a while, my father and brother arrive and it changes the intimate conversation I had with my cousin. (Which is OK.) I then see two or three people there who are dead. They stand upright, are pale, and stare out in front of them. I know who they are, they are family members and friends who died many years ago. It feels peaceful. Then more dead people start arriving. More and more. Including a friend from high school I lost contact with some years ago, and my best friend from elementary school who moved away back then. I feel the appearance of dead people start going out of control, it brings up fear in me, and I wake up.
This was a strong dream, and it had striking visual elements like a Tarkovski or Kurosawa movie.
My cousin did die a few years ago, and we did have these types of conversations while he was alive – deep, meaningful, and peaceful conversations. When I got very sick about fifteen years ago, I didn’t have so much contact with him, and I felt he was disappointed by it. He loved nature and biology, and was a “deep thinker” and explorer. (Waking life.)
When my father and brother arrived, the conversation changed character, as it has in real life.
And it was peaceful when the dead people started arriving. They were family and friends who have died in real life. They were standing in a line, looking out in front of them. Then there was a second line of dead people, with my friend from high school and my other friend from elementary school. (I don’t know if either of them is dead in waking life.)
My friend from high school was someone I spent quite a bit of time with after high school. We were both interested in spirituality, and did tai chi and some events together. I felt that he took a more new-age approach and was more into the fantasy side of it, while I saw myself as taking a more sober approach. We haven’t been in contact for about ten years, and in one of our last conversations, he said “awakening will solve all problems” and I said “maybe it’s not exactly like that”, and I could see that he got upset. (This is all waking life.)
On Friday, I felt his presence strongly, and it was as if he was communicating with me and showing me something. I could see that he felt I had been arrogant, and he felt hurt. And it did something with me. I could see my own arrogance in a deeper way and take it in more deeply. (It comes from fear and insecurity, as it does.) This was also waking life.
More and more dead people started arriving, and it started to feel like it was going out of control.
Waking life and dream life were woven together in a very interesting way in this dream.
There are several aspects to this dream. The process on Friday helped me take in my arrogance more deeply and shifted something in me. Something around family and friends who have died. The loss of my best friend in elementary school when he and his family moved. (He had been on my mind two or three days ago when I walked by the apartment building where he had lived.) And something about death in general, and also ancestors.
It’s not a stretch to imagine that the dead ones in the dream represent parts of me that have metaphorically died. Parts of me that don’t have so much charge anymore.
Maybe the dream reflects a processing in me around this, especially as I – in waking life – am at my childhood home getting it ready for sale, and am sorting through a lifetime of things.
A few more notes:
Why was the dream set in nature? My cousin and his parents loved nature, which is perhaps why. The dream was set in a forest in the mountains in Norway.
Why was my mother not there? I am not sure. I have had some recent slight disagreements with my father and brother around the process with the house, perhaps that’s why.
Why did the increasing number of dead trigger fear in me? It was peaceful at first, and then it felt like it was going a bit out of control. There were exponentially more dead appearing. I didn’t know what was happening.