My nature has – or is – the characteristics of consciousness.
In the realm of stories and time, this is quite familiar to me. It’s a familiar terrain.
At the same time, it’s endlessly fascinating and only in this endless moment.
WHO AND WHAT I AM
At one level, and in a conventional sense, I am this human self in the world with identities, roles, and so on. That’s how most others see me, it’s what my passport tells me, and it’s a perspective that’s essential for me to have if I am to function in the world.
To myself, in my own first-person experience, I find something else. I find I more fundamentally am what it all – this human self, the wider world, and all states and experiences – happens within and as.
I am what a thought may call consciousness, and the world to me happens within and as the consciousness I am.
Even more fundamentally, I find I am capacity for consciousness and all the phenomena and appearances the consciousness I am forms itself into.
SOME CHARACTERISTICS OF MY NATURE
My nature has several characteristics.
It’s all I have ever known. All I have known is my nature forming itself into any and all content of experience.
This content of experience includes any sense of a me, I, doer, observer, and so on, and any tendency to take myself as fundamentally that. It all happens within and as what I am.
My nature is timeless and spaceless and forms itself any experience related to time and space.
My nature has no boundary in space, and no beginning in time, and forms itself into any experience of boundaries, beginnings, and ends.
My nature is one, it’s a oneness that all content of experience and all apparently boundaries and separations happen within and as.
My nature has an inherent awakeness, which I assume is the awakeness in all consciousnesses. It’s not special in that sense. Whether my nature notices itself or is caught up in stories, the awakeness is here and the same.
When the consciousness I am notices itself, and itself as all there is to itself, there is a quiet joy in the background.
BRINGING IN MENTAL OVERLAYS AND MY HUMAN SELF
The sense of boundaries, separation, time, a self, a me, an I, an observer, a doer and so on all comes from the mental field creating maps, images, and stories to help this human self function and orient in the world. These are very helpful. They are questions about the world. They cannot hold any final, full, or absolute truth.
When this human self operates within my nature recognizing itself, there is a love for all. It’s the love of the left hand removing a splinter from the right, and it’s independent of feelings or states. It’s also a love that can easily be clouded over by the hangups, biases, and habits of this human self.
Some parts of the psyche of this human self still operate from separation consciousness. They were formed within a global sense of separation and still operate from within that worldview. These too have the same nature. They are consciousness and awakeness forming itself into these. There seems to be a natural shift over time from being caught up in the painful stories within these parts of the psyche to more easily recognizing them as happening within and as my nature.
A FEW MORE THINGS
There are a few more characteristics of my nature recognizing itself:
When this human self moves through the world, the world moves through me, it moves through this awake space it all happens within and as.
There is no real distance to anything, apart from in a conventional sense. It’s all happening within and as what I am, and this human self can still operate with distance and function within space.
There is no real time, apart from in a conventional sense. Time happens within the timeless nature I am, and this human self still operates with and within time.
Where the physical body of this human self is, I find awake space with a few sensations, sights, and mental images.
There is an island of phenomena – this human self and his surroundings – happening within his awake space with no boundary.
DOES IT SOLVE OR RESOLVE ANYTHING?
Does it solve or resolve anything when my nature notices itself?
It’s mixed.
There is a profound sense of recognition, coming home, stillness, and rest, so – in a sense – it “solves” some things there.
It does not magically fix anything in a practical daily life sense. For this human self, there is still daily life with things to do.
It gives a completely different context for it all, which does solve something.
It invites my human self to transform within this new noticing, which is profoundly challenging and welcomed.
It does seem to help my human self relate to itself and the many different parts of the psyche with a little more kindness.
It’s what I am taking the shifting forms of all of it – any content of experience, my nature recognizing itself, my nature not recognizing itself and being caught up in stories, being on a path of noticing my nature and inviting this human self to transform itself within it and live from and as it, and so on.
NOTES
I could say “my nature HAS the characteristics of consciousness” which would be accurate enough and more aligned with how most would talk about it. I prefer to say that it IS the characteristics of consciousness since it’s more accurate. What I am is not separate from these characteristics, it IS these characteristics and everything else too.
Also, as usual when I write “I” it variously refers to who or what I am, my human self or my more fundamental nature. It’s fluid in life so it’s a bit fluid in this writing too.
The image is created by me and Midjourney, and it’s only for decorative reasons.
INITIAL DRAFTS AND FRAGMENTS
A part of the mind will say it’s obvious and something I am very familiar with. In a more real sense, it’s endlessly fascinating to explore here and now.
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Does it solve anything when my nature notices itself?
Yes and no and it depends on how you see it.
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In the realm of time and stories, this is quite familiar to me. It’s what I remember from between lives. It’s what showed itself to itself when this human was sixteen and since then.
In a more real sense, this is endlessly fascinating to explore here and now and there is always more to clarify, deepen into, allow to work on me, and mature within.
My nature is the characteristics of consciousness.
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In the realm of stories and time, this is quite familiar to me. It’s a familiar terrain. It’s what I remember from the time between lives. It’s what revealed itself to itself when this human self was still a teenager.
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