I saw a podcast episode on non-dual Christianity in my feed yesterday. It’s an interesting topic but I am not sure if I will listen to it, unfortunately. Processing that kind of information often seems a bit too much because of my brain fog. But I can write a few words about what comes up from the title.
NON-DUALITY
First, a few words about non-duality.
I usually don’t use that term since it comes with a lot of ideas and baggage, although of course, all words do.
For me, it’s about what’s revealed when my nature notices itself. In my own first-person experience, I am what the world – any content of experience – happens within and as. I am what a thought may call consciousness, and the world as it appears to me happens within and as this consciousness.
The other side of this coin is recognizing the nature of thought. Thoughts are questions about the world, they each have some kind of limited validity and offer a valuable perspective (especially if they come from a sincere place), they have a practical function only to help orient and navigate in the world, they cannot hold any full, complete, or absolute truth, and reality is always different from and more than any thought or map.
To the extent this is viscerally recognized, there is a natural and effortless non-duality. Non-duality, as I see it, points to finding ourselves as what the world happens within and as, and finding the limited validity in a range of thoughts on any one topic.
JESUS & CHRIST
For me, it makes sense to differentiate between Jesus and Christ.
Jesus is the human depicted in the New Testament and other scriptures. Christ is the consciousness aspect that, in my experience, is still present and available.
The Jesus story is a teaching story. There is a lot to explore there at different levels, including as a dream, as reflecting different parts of myself. Whatever story I have about any of the characters and the situations and events from these texts, I can turn to myself and find specific and genuine examples of how it is true. (Adyashanti’s Resurrecting Jesus is an excellent introduction.)
Jesus Christ is a reminder of both the wholeness I can find as a human being (the self as Jung talks about) and my nature as consciousness (AKA Big Mind, Buddha Mind).
Through Christian practices, I have also since my teens experienced what seems to be the unique and specific characteristics of Christ and the Christ presence.
EXPLORATIONS
I find especially two Christian practices helpful.
The Jesus or Heart Prayer. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. I say the first part on the in-breath, and the second on the out-breath. If I sit or lie down and focus mostly on the prayer, I also put my hand on my heart and coordinate with the heartbeats. I do it throughout the day, and it becomes a continuous prayer after a while that goes in the background, even through sleep. (The intention or energy aspect of it continues.) Maybe I should mention that I say this prayer in Norwegian – Herre Jesus Kristus, forbarm deg over meg – since that is closer to me.
The Christ meditation is visualizing Christ – as a presence or light – in the six directions and in the heart, and resting with it over time. (The six directions are 1-1.5 meters in front and behind the heart area, on the left and right side of the body, and above and below the body, although the distance varies a bit.)
There are other contemplative Christian practices, although I am less familiar with those. I tend to use practices and explorations from other traditions: Basic meditation, training a stable attention, The Work of Byron Katie, the Big Mind process, Headless experiments, sense field explorations / Kiloby Inquiries, tonglen, ho’oponopno, Breema, tai chi, qigong, and so on.
THE CHRIST PRESENCE
Again, for me, the aim of these practices is to explore our nature, which is closer to us than anything, already more familiar to us than anything, and really all we have ever known.
That said, the Heart prayer and Christ meditation – and likely other Christian practices – also do something unique to them. They bring in the Christ presence, which is distinct from any other similar kind of presence. It’s more in the heart, it has a fiery aspect.
When I did these daily in my late teens and early twenties, I – to my surprise – saw a light on top of my head in the mirror. I can see energies but had not noticed it in the mirror before. This has also happened since then when I do these practices. The light has the shape of a flame, similar to what’s depicted in some traditional Christian art.
Without going too much into detail, from a continuous Heart Prayer, I also found things happening similar to what’s described in The Way of a Pilgrim. (It’s too long since I read it so I don’t remember the details, although I vaguely remember it has to do with seeing energies – and in my case seeing and sensing them more strongly, perceiving the world as consciousness and having the volume turned up on that greatly, a strong sense of the prayer continuing through sleep, and so on.)
When I engaged in these practices in my thirties in Oregon, I had the experience of a woman sitting in front of me on the bus turning around and asking: Are you Jesus? I was surprised, laughed, and joked it away, although I wish I had told her I was engaged in these practices. She had possibly or likely picked up on the Christ presence brought in by the practices, and I could have pointed her to the practices. (This is an example of my social anxiety and hangups sometimes getting in the way of sharing these things with others.)
WHAT IT BRINGS UP
If I am honest, I haven’t engaged in these practices too much over the last few years, although I dip into them sometimes.
Why? Mainly because they tend to bring up a lot in my system – a lot of unprocessed material and trauma. These days, I am exploring more stabilizing and being gentle with myself, mostly because I had a huge amount of trauma come up some years ago and my system feels fried from it and health challenges (CFS and a period with Lyme disease).
I still love Jesus, the Christ presence, and the practices, and highly recommend exploring it, and I hope to return to it more fully at some point.
HOW I RELATE TO ALL OF THIS
I don’t use the label Christian, or Buddhist, or atheist, or anything else. All of them have some validity, and for me, it’s more about the exploration and using pointers and practices from anywhere as long as they seem useful.
I come from a culture and family that don’t have a strong relationship with any of this, so that may partly be why that feels natural for me. Also, it just seems to make sense. This is about exploring the terrain and less about belonging to some tribe (although that can have some emotional, social, and practical benefits).
Also, as many point out, Jesus was not Christian, Buddha was not Buddhist.
WAS HE A HISTORICAL PERSON?
With this way of understanding Jesus and Christ, it doesn’t really matter whether Jesus was a historical person or not. It’s not the point and it doesn’t make any practical difference.
Although most Western historians and theologians quickly dismiss any idea that Jesus may not have existed, there isn’t much solid historical evidence that he did. I suspect the little evidence there is wouldn’t hold up in a dispassionate court of law. The reasonable doubt would be too strong.
The other side of this is that the Jesus story is full of elements from existing religions in the region at the time, as Tim Freke and Peter Gandi point out in The Jesus Mysteries. It’s a teaching story full of resonant and important archetypes.
THE GOSPEL OF THOMAS
Of the Christian scriptures, I resonate most with The Gospel of Thomas. It’s not in the official New Testament, but it may be a source for the four gospels there. I have commented on some verses in other articles.
Many years ago, I read a collection of apocryphal texts, hoping to find gold there. Most of it seemed pretty incoherent and/or focused on non-essentials so I understand why they were not included.
TRULY I TELL YOU… BEFORE THE ROOSTER CROWS YOU WILL DISOWN ME THREE TIMES
Jesus said to him, “Truly I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”
– Matthew 26:34 (NIV)
Jesus said this to Peter, who happens to be my namesake.
In my teens and early twenties, I thought I would be more out in the world with all of this. I did talk about it with friends. I studied and practiced a lot in preparation for sharing more, and I saw myself sharing my experiences and talking and writing about these topics in public.
What happened was something different. In my mid-twenties, I left my inner guidance on a major life decision and felt – and in some sense got – seriously off track in life. (Although the new track is my track, of course). I have also had more health challenges than I expected. So I find myself mostly just sharing here.
Many in my life don’t know I have these interests. I rarely talk about it, apart from briefly with a couple of friends. I chose to stay anonymous here. If people ask me for guidance, I will typically refer to someone else. If some of these topics come up in a conversation with someone, especially in a group, I may not say anything. I sometimes say I am an atheist just so I don’t need to talk about it. I rarely mention my path and history to anyone. If I talk to someone who is in the role of a teacher, I usually take the role of a novice. If I talk to someone sharing their experiences, I usually mirror where they are at and share what fits their phase in the process.
In this way, I am Peter. I disown Jesus (my connection with Jesus) and Christ (awakening).
I put my light under a bushel.
Why? It may be a combination of things. I didn’t get to study and practice as much within traditions as I had expected, hoped, and planned, so I feel I fall short. A part of me feels ashamed I didn’t go more deeply into it, as I had planned. When I naively shared my experiences early in my process (after the oneness shift), I got burnt quite strongly. (People had a strong reaction to it, for whatever reason.) I had traumatizing experiences in school because I was passionate and freely spoke about my passions, and it wasn’t well received by my schoolmates. There is a family pattern of wanting to hide and appear “normal”. Being less active and social because of my health (CFS) has fueled my social anxiety. Since I am out of practice when it comes to sharing this, I often go silent in situations where it would be more than fine for me to share. (For instance, in Headless groups and meetings.)
There are many possible reasons, they are all understandable, and they are no excuse. I can share more, in my own way, as a fellow explorer, and contribute in other ways to this collective exploration. I benefit from the experiences of others, so why not return the favor? All voices have value, especially when it comes from sincerity.