In recent conversations, two people in my life (SE and AL) have brought up the topic of shame and guilt in the context of healing.
For me, they are pointers to something unhealed in me, and I noticed this especially clearly during the times I have been immersed in The Work of Byron Katie. Especially the third question seems to bring it home: How do you react, what happens, when you believe the thought?
They are pointers to unexamined painful stories, unloved parts of me, unfelt feelings.
They are indicators showing me what’s left.
So a natural question then is:
What do I still have shame and guilt about? What’s still left to explore?
For me, the main one is leaving my guidance – and myself and the path I was on – in my late twenties. I abandoned what was most important to me because I felt I “should”, and felt profoundly off track. It put my life on a different track, and it was painful for me. It still is, to some extent, because there is more to see there. More to find love for. More stories to examine. More clarity to find.
Another is myself. Guilt and shame about myself come up, especially in social situations and with new people. I feel I am not good enough. Not as good as them. Unlovable. This is obviously from early in life and there is still some left even if I have explored it off and on for a while (=decades).
With both of these, the charge is usually not as strong, I recognize them as old issues when they come up, I recognize them as parts of me, I have befriended them to a good extent, and – at least in some situations – I seem able to live my life from my whole and not just these parts.
I am also very aware that since there is more for me to explore here, they do color my life and perception, and I inevitably have blind spots related to them.