Anais Nin: We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

– Anais Nin

This is true in a couple of different ways, as who we are and what we are.

WHO WE ARE

Our perception of the world reflects who we are. It says more about us than the world.

We perceive through the stories we identify with, so these stories say something about who we take ourselves to be.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: People don’t seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.

I can take any story I have about the world, turn around to myself, and find specific and genuine examples of how it’s true. I can find in myself what I see in others and the world.

WHAT WE ARE

To me, the world happens within and as the consciousness I am.

To myself, I am not most fundamentally this human self, I am consciousness.

The consciousness I am forms itself into the world as it appears to me. I see things as I am.

All I have ever known is the consciousness I am, taking all these many forms.

GROWING UP

Growing up means recognizing that we don’t see things as they are but as we are, and that’s an ongoing and deepening process.

It’s a process supported in the usual ways, mainly life experiences combined with receptivity and sincerity.

It can also be supported by therapy and dialog, and practices like parts work (Big Mind process, Voice Dialog, IFS), inquiry (The Work of Byron Katie, Kiloby Inquiries), basic meditation (notice and allow), heart-centered practices (tonglen, ho’oponopono), body-inclusive practices, and more.

GETTING IT AND NOT GETTING IT

We can get this and not get it at the same time.

We can get it in a general way and when issues are not too strongly triggered.

Sometimes, issues and wounds get triggered and we “forget” for a while, until things calm down and we are able to recognize and explore it.

Similarly, in some areas of life, we may have deep enough wounds and identifications with these wounds so we are caught up in issues without recognizing it, or we recognize it but it feels too difficult to fully acknowledge.

That’s why it’s an ongoing process.

HERE AND NOW

And really, it’s only here and now.

Do I get it here and now? Do I get it in this situation?

Do I notice that it’s my story about the world I am experiencing and reacting to?

Can I find in myself what I see in the other and the wider world? Can I find the story I have about them, turn it to myself, and find specific and genuine examples of how it’s true, here and now?

Do I notice it’s all happening within and as the consciousness I am?