Yesterday, I was with someone in our local town, Barichara, and she said “he is a disgusting man” about someone we saw.
I didn’t ask for details, but I have my own stories about it.
TRAUMA BEHAVIOR
What I saw was a local man, likely a farmer, who seemed to have lived a hard life.
If he does or says something that some see as disgusting, I imagine it comes from that hard life. He may have been abused as a kid. He may resort to alcohol to deal with it. And so on.
These things are typically passed on through generations.
He is still responsible for his own behavior and life, of course, as we all are. It’s the responsibility of people in his life to set boundaries and not accept harmful behavior from him.
And yet, this universal perspective does give me empathy for him, and it makes it all a little less personal.
THE CONSEQUENCES OF COLONIALISM
Since we are in the Andes and Latin America, this pattern that’s likely passed on through generations is connected to something even more universal and impersonal, and that’s colonialism. Colonialism harms everyone – colonizers and colonized. It creates a hard and uncaring society. It’s a big part of the reason for the big gaps between the few wealthy and the many poor here.
When I see this man, I see someone living with the consequences of colonialism.
HE IS A MIRROR FOR ME
I also see more. I know that what I see in him is also in me. It may take another form, but the essence is the same. I can take any story I have about him, no matter how terrible, turn it to myself, and find specific and genuine examples of how it’s true. Very likely, I am doing the same I see in him in the very moment I have these stories about him.
TO ME, HE HAPPENS WITHIN AND AS WHAT I AM
Also, he and the rest of the world and this human self happen within and as what I am. It’s all the consciousness I am forming itself into all these experiences. I am, in a direct and literal way, him as he appears to me.