After the chronic illness, he became philosophical.
Someone in my family mentioned this, referring to me.
It’s true and not so true in a few different ways.
INVITATION TO REFLECTION
It’s true in that I have reflected in order to find peace with my situation.
My trauma and chronic illness has invited me to take a second look – and third and fourth and fifth – at my life, life in general, and relationships. It has invited me to (aim to) leave no stone unturned.
What stressful thoughts do I, or parts of me, hold as true? What do I find when I examine each of these? How does it color my perception and life? What’s the validity in the reversals? What’s genuinely more true for me?
I am motivated to examine any thought I hold as true since I know, viscerally and from experience and noticing, that holding any thought as true is stressful, and what’s genuinely more true for me is peaceful.
In that sense, the illness has made me more philosophical.
Inquiry is a kind of philosophy that helps me recognize – viscerally – a thought as a question and that it doesn’t hold any final, full, or absolute truth.
COPING STRATEGIES
It’s also true in that ideas are sometimes involved in how I cope with my life and situation. I have used ideas to help me cope with both trauma and chronic illness.
These are more or less healthy, although the less healthy ones are healthy too, in the sense that they are the best I can do in the situation and better than some of the alternatives.
I write here. Somehow, that feels right and it’s comforting to me. It helps me process and digest things in my life and the world. It invites me to examine beliefs and find what’s more true for me. Sometimes, writing is an escape and distraction, although it often leads into a more direct noticing and befriending.
I notice that sorting things out in thought can feel comforting to me, although it’s a hollow comfort. Noticing that is a reminded to… Rest in the consciousness I am noticing itself. See how it is to befriend my experience as it is. And identify and explore stressful thoughts and identifications, often held by part of me.
EARLIER PASSION FOR EXPLORATION
I have always had a curiosity about the world, and my passion for exploration and discovery started early in childhood, years before the chronic illness. Even as a child, I loved nature, science, adventure, explorations, the Universe Story as presented by Carl Sagan, and so on.
My curiosity, and my philosophical leanings if you want to call it that, started long before the illness.
NOTICING BEFORE MENTAL REPRESENTATIONS
With what’s most important to me, noticing comes before it’s reflected in thoughts.
Much of what I write about – and just about all that’s about exploring my nature – is first direct noticing which is then interpreted by and reflected in stories.
The noticing came first chronologically (the oneness shift happened years before I found books or heard about it from others), and it also usually comes first when I try to express it in words.
OTHER COPING STRATEGIES
There are several coping strategies that are not primarily about ideas. For me, these are more as or important than the ones mentioned above, and they are more essential.
The main one is the consciousness I am noticing itself. This is the coping strategy my system seems to have used when I was fifteen and sixteen. To deal with teenage angst and trauma, it seems that it shifted the center of gravity into Big Mind. Into oneness, into the consciousness I am noticing itself as (it’s experience of) the whole world.
When I was fifteen, it shifted into experiencing the world – all content of experience – as very far away. There was a simple and apparent observer-observed split. One year later, there was a shift into oneness and all recognized as consciousness. I am consciousness forming itself into the experience of everything, the whole universe as it appears to me.
This has stayed with me, and it’s still a coping mechanism. It’s easier to have this as a context for the experiences that are here.
Another is to meet and befriend what’s here in experience.
Notice and feel the sensations.
Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for your love for me. You can stay as long as you want.
Explore what it needs. Love? Acceptance? Safety? Belonging and home? Give it that.
Notice it’s nature. Notice it’s consciousness. It’s the consciousness I am forming itself into it.
Rest with each of these.
ALL TOGETHER
It’s all true in its own way, and always a small part of the bigger picture.
It’s also part of an ongoing noticing and exploration.
MORE INFO
I asked ChatGPT 4o for input on strategies we use, or can use, to deal with a chronic illness and other challenging situations. See below.
Healthy Coping Through Philosophy: Finding Strength and Meaning in Chronic Illness
The phrase “he got philosophic after he got a chronic illness” suggests that the individual turned to philosophical thinking or perspectives as a way to cope with their condition. This coping strategy can encompass several approaches, including:
1. Meaning-Making
- Reflecting on the illness as an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, or deeper understanding of life.
- Asking existential questions like “Why me?” or “What is the purpose of this experience?” and seeking meaningful answers.
2. Acceptance and Mindfulness
- Embracing the reality of the illness instead of resisting it.
- Practicing mindfulness or living in the present moment to reduce anxiety about the future or regret about the past.
3. Reprioritization
- Reassessing what truly matters in life, such as relationships, personal goals, or spirituality.
- Simplifying life and focusing on quality rather than quantity in experiences.
4. Connection to Universal Themes
- Exploring themes of impermanence, suffering, and interconnectedness, often found in philosophies or spiritual traditions.
- Finding comfort in the idea that suffering is a shared human experience.
5. Adopting a Stoic Approach
- Practicing resilience by focusing on what is within their control and letting go of what is not.
- Viewing the illness as a test of character and an opportunity to develop virtues like patience and courage.
6. Seeking Wisdom
- Turning to philosophical or spiritual texts for guidance and solace.
- Engaging in discussions or communities that explore deeper truths and insights about life and suffering.
7. Altruism and Legacy
- Shifting focus outward to help others in similar situations or contribute to the greater good.
- Reflecting on how they want to be remembered and making choices aligned with their values.
8. Humor and Perspective
- Using humor or a detached perspective to cope with the gravity of their situation.
- Laughing at the absurdities of life as a way to lighten their emotional burden.
9. Spiritual or Religious Engagement
- Seeking comfort and explanation through spiritual or religious frameworks.
- Deepening practices like prayer, meditation, or rituals to find solace and strength.
10. Existential or Post-Materialist Outlook
- Exploring the idea that life is part of a larger mystery or consciousness that transcends physical suffering.
- Considering the possibility of life beyond death or seeing the illness as part of a larger journey.
These coping strategies reflect a shift in perspective, where the individual uses philosophical inquiry and reflection to find strength, purpose, or peace despite their chronic illness.
The Pitfalls of Philosophizing: When Intellectualizing Becomes an Escape
The phrase “he got philosophic after he got a chronic illness” can also suggest less healthy or maladaptive coping strategies, depending on how the philosophical approach is used. These strategies might involve avoiding or suppressing emotional experiences rather than addressing them directly. Here are some examples:
1. Intellectualizing
- Overthinking or using abstract reasoning to avoid confronting the emotional or physical pain of the illness.
- Focusing on theories or philosophical concepts as a way to distance oneself from the lived experience of suffering.
2. Detachment or Disconnection
- Adopting a “detached observer” mindset that leads to emotional numbness or an inability to connect with others.
- Viewing life or illness as meaningless in a way that fuels apathy or nihilism.
3. Spiritual or Philosophical Bypass
- Using spiritual or philosophical ideas to avoid engaging with the difficult emotions (e.g., “It’s all part of a greater plan” while ignoring grief or anger).
- Over-reliance on abstract ideals like acceptance or impermanence to avoid processing the deeper impact of the illness.
4. Avoidance Through Overanalysis
- Engaging in endless contemplation or overanalyzing life’s meaning to avoid making practical adjustments or seeking necessary help.
- Becoming stuck in “analysis paralysis” without taking steps to improve quality of life.
5. Over-identification With Suffering
- Using philosophical exploration to reinforce a sense of victimhood or specialness in suffering, leading to isolation or self-pity.
- Romanticizing or overemphasizing suffering as noble or enlightening while neglecting other aspects of life.
6. Cynicism or Nihilism
- Adopting a bleak or nihilistic worldview as a response to the illness, leading to disengagement from life and relationships.
- Rejecting meaning, purpose, or connections altogether as futile or pointless.
7. Over-reliance on Stoicism
- Suppressing emotions in an attempt to “stay strong” or adhere to a stoic philosophy, leading to unprocessed emotional pain.
- Misinterpreting stoicism as emotional repression rather than resilience.
8. Escapism Through Philosophy
- Becoming overly immersed in philosophical or intellectual pursuits to escape from physical limitations or social interactions.
- Spending excessive time alone in thought or study at the expense of engaging with others or addressing practical needs.
9. Judgment or Idealization
- Using philosophical or spiritual ideals to judge oneself harshly for not coping “perfectly” with the illness.
- Holding rigid beliefs about how one “should” respond to suffering, creating additional stress or guilt.
10. Alienation or Superiority
- Using philosophical insight as a way to feel superior or disconnected from others who are perceived as less “enlightened.”
- Viewing oneself as an outsider who cannot relate to others due to a heightened or unique perspective on life and suffering.
While philosophical coping can provide deep insight and meaning, it becomes maladaptive when it is used to bypass emotional processing, avoid vulnerability, or disconnect from practical realities and relationships.