Last night, before falling asleep, I mentioned to my wife that I am feeling a million things at once, and she said she experiences the same. It’s like a field whispering in the distance.
It seems only natural.
We are as rich as the world. Everything – every characteristic and dynamic – I see in the world is also in me. It’s always here.
Mostly, it’s like a whisper in the distance. Sometimes, dynamics in the situation – in me and the wider world – bring some into the foreground. For instance, Whatever I actively look for comes to the foreground.
I notice a curiosity about all of this, and that it seems beautiful, which is part of the whisper too.
I don’t know how others experience this. I haven’t done a survey. I suspect it may have to do with the awakening process. As our systems are more awake and open, we may notice this more easily.
I remember this from the first oneness shift – which is still here. There is a myriad of faint feelings in the distance. Right now, I notice – when attention goes there and highlights something – sadness, joy, contraction, dullness, space, receptivity, gratitude, awe, to hell with it all, and so on.
I also notice that it all, including contractions, happens within and as awake space. The consciousness I am forms itself into all of it.
After writing this, I notice that this is connected with a general bitter-sweet experience of life and existence. There is awe, gratitude, joy, a gentle bliss, and so on mixed with grief, sadness, and more.
If I were to differentiate, I would say that the awe and gratitude is here for this amazing existence and all it forms itself into. There is a gentle bliss inherent in all experience, it seems, like a thread through experience. And it’s mixed in with grief, sadness, and heartbreak over the fleeting nature of existence and the suffering of beings, including myself.