I am back in Norway, in my parents’ house outside of Oslo. I am here to help clean out the house and get it ready for sale, and also to visit my family here. My parents are in assisted living/nursing home, so I am alone in the house. It’s quiet here which I appreciate.
Since this blog is a journal, I thought I would briefly record my day.
I got up at 6 am. I love getting up early, especially before sunrise (which is easy in Norway in the winter!). I did a few things on the computer and had breakfast around 8 am consisting of oatmeal porridge with bananas, pumpkin seeds, cinnamon, and frozen blueberries on top.
I channeled for myself for a while. Mainly compressed chi to energize, to bring up constitutional energies and prenatal jing, and replacing of the vital webbing in my lungs.
During the morning, I listened to Palestrina: Canticum Canticorum performed by the Hilliard Ensemble. I love Palestrina and the Hilliard Ensemble so it was an easy choice.
Around 10 am I took a brief nap, maybe 15 minutes. I then took out a few boxes with useable things I won’t keep. I put them in the garage and looked over what’s otherwise there. We’ll take most of it to a second-hand store, and some will go to clothes recycling. I hope to mostly clean out the garage, with some help, within a week or so.
Because of my health, I need to rest after activity, so I lay down on the sofa and finished watching Paris – je t’aime which I had started a while ago. I enjoyed it and asked ChatGPT for ideas for similar movies. Before Dawn, In the Mood for Love, and Coffee and Cigarettes are now on my list.
I meditated for a while, mainly using the Christ meditation… visualizing Christ in my heart, in front and behind, on each side, and above and below. I visualize Christ as light and a presence, about 1.5 meters out from the heart. I used to do this a lot in my late teens and early twenties, keep revisiting it, and I found it easy to slip into it.
It’s difficult to describe what happens. There is a sense of clarity, awakeness, and presence of Christ everywhere – in the whole field. The consciousness I am, and the energies happening within and as it through the field, comes more alive and clear. It was more like slowly flowing water and now it’s more like clear vibrant air.
In general, whether in activity or rest, I periodically shift into intentionally noticing myself as headless. I notice that this human self is happening on his own, just like everything else. He is living his own life. He happens within and as the awake space I find myself as.
Throughout the day today, I have also channeled for myself and others.
Around noon, my wife called and we talked for a while. She is on the first part of her journey to London and then here. I did some simple drawings of a swimming pool and caney (building with just floor and roof) for the big house on Milagros and sent it to her. This is for a building permit.
At 12:30, I had one of my current weekly phone sessions with a therapist here in Norway. It’s been some years since I had therapy sessions, apart from the many inquiry sessions I have had, so it seemed time again. It’s good to have that kind of support and I find it helps me with focus and motivation. Being accountable, even if it’s informally, gives me an extra nudge.
We mostly talked about the difference between thoughts and reality, and the importance of reality-checking thoughts. We talked about it using specific examples from my own life now and in the past. She and I are both focused on the basics so it’s a good match.
I then made some chili for myself. I used my currently favorite vegetarian chili recipe with a few adjustments. I used a little more of smoked paprika and chili, and added a smoked chili mix made by Daniel in Barichara. Since I didn’t have carrots, I used broccoli instead. The magic in this recipe is in the red wine vinegar added at the end.
After this, I watched half of Before Sunrise (enjoyed it very much), took another brief nap (15-20 minutes), talked with my wife on Whatsapp, did some of the basic qigong/tai chi movements, and went down to the basement. While listening to Laurie Anderson on BBC’s Desert Island Discs (I fell in love with her music in my early teens), I went through some of the 40+ plastic storage boxes I have filled up, checked the content and fullness of some of them, and updated a spreadsheet I made yesterday with info about these boxes. (The spreadsheet has the number of each box, content, how full, importance for use, importance to keep, location, etc. With that many boxes, it seems important to be slightly organized).
An important thread through my life and days is pacing. If I have energy, I do one task or a part of a task, then rest, and then do some more when I am moved. Most of the time, it’s a surprise when and how much energy I’ll have available, although it helps a lot to channel Compressed Chi for myself (from Vortex Healing). I took the MI VH class that ended about ten days ago, and since then, my energy level has been more stable and better.
I rested and finished Before Sunrise. It brought up memories for me. The rest of the day was uneventful with a little more organizing, going for a walk in the beautiful winter weather (we have snow!), getting some groceries, and I started watching Before Sunset, the second in the Before trilogy.
I don’t usually see this many movies in a day! I can’t remember it ever happening, at least not for years. I think it’s because I have a little more energy while also needing to rest between physical activities.
I went to bed around nine as I often do. If I am on my own, I usually go to bed between eight and ten. As mentioned above, I almost always get up early, usually between four and six in the morning. If I need extra sleep, I catch up with one or two brief naps later in the morning or in the afternoon.
I didn’t do the full qigong series (Eight Brocades) today, as I have the last few days. That’s OK. I have it on my menu for tomorrow morning. In general, I like to have menus rather than plans. With a menu, I can pick one or more things according to what I have energy for. In reality, it’s all about what I am moved to do in the moment, and I am always somewhat surprised.
I didn’t do much writing today, apart from this article, which is also OK. I like to follow the natural cycles and some days, I am not moved to write much. It comes back, or it won’t, and it’s interesting to see what will happen.
In general, I noticed existential things coming up in me today, faint wondering about life and death and existence and what makes my life meaningful at a human level.
I also experienced a rich tapestry of states and feelings…. quiet underlying dread and anxiety, feelings of longing and melancholy (brought up by what came up from my own life while watching Before Sunrise), quiet joy, underlying gratitude, quiet excitement about being alive, and so on. It’s the usual mix of everything – it’s all here as part of me.
Update the following morning:
Before sleeping, I talked with my wife which gave me an update that stirred some things up in me. There is an ongoing and possibly worsening problem with the roof of our house due to a construction mistake. We don’t know how bad it is or will be, and the contractor and architects – both responsible according to the third-party report – refuse to take any responsibility. We are either facing a costly court case or have to pay ourselves to replace the roof.
Some distress came up in me, mostly because they refuse to take responsibility for what’s clearly their responsibility. If they did, I would feel more at peace. I notice a “should” in me, they should take responsibility for their mistake, and know that the should is what creates the discomfort and stress.
I got up and did a few quiet things before going back to sleep. I had a good night’s sleep, although there was some stress and restlessness through it. The only dream I faintly remember was about humility with nature. Nature is so old, we are so young as a species and especially as a culture. What we can do is support the natural processes, help ecosystems become vibrant and diverse, and do so with humility, receptivity, and being students of nature. (Of course, we are nature, that’s also true.)
I wrote a letter this morning imagining myself one (or three?) years into the future, writing with gratitude for what I have. This is a variation of the “ideal day in the future” exercise. It helps to bring into focus what I wish to bring more into my life, and also to notice those things here and now.
I then looked over this article, made a few clarifications, and updated it. What happened yesterday already seems like ten years ago. It feels like a dream, which it is of course. It’s happening as dreams do, as images within and as the consciousness I am.
The first image is a section of a painting by my father on the wall in the living room where I am writing this. The second is the chili, although taken another time I used the same recipe.