This is a spotlight text in a history book written centuries in the future, at a time when humanity has gone through a great crisis and found a more life-centered way to life. It’s meant to inspire and encourage questions. Follow the Long Journey Home tag for other entries in this book.
It’s written by AI with sometimes general and often detailed prompts from me. That means, in a sense, that it’s written by humanity as a whole since the AI is trained on material from many times and cultures.
This spotlight is on the damage to ourselves and our relationships from an internalized one-sided domination culture.
Please share your thoughts below. What did this bring up for you?
The Hidden Wounds: How Internalized Domination Culture Harms Ourselves and Our Relationships
By Dr. Eryn Solis, Sociocultural Ecologist and Historian
For centuries, domination culture was more than an external structure—it was internalized, becoming part of how people saw themselves and related to others. The systems of control, hierarchy, and competition didn’t just shape economies and governments; they seeped into the very fabric of personal identity, human psychology, and social relationships.
Internalized domination culture leaves deep scars—on individuals, on families, and on entire societies. Though the most obvious damage can be seen in broken ecosystems and power-hungry institutions, its subtler, more insidious harm occurs within.
When people live for generations under systems that reward control, competition, and separation, they begin to embody those dynamics, even in their most intimate spaces—within their minds, their bodies, and their closest relationships.
1. The Fragmented Self: Disconnection From One’s Inner World
Domination culture thrives on fragmentation. It separates humans from nature, mind from body, reason from emotion. This same fragmentation plays out within individuals who internalize its values.
The Mind-Body Split:
People conditioned within domination cultures often disconnect from their bodies, treating them as tools for productivity rather than as living, feeling parts of themselves. Rest, intuition, and sensuality become undervalued, while efficiency, discipline, and control are elevated.
- Result: Chronic stress, burnout, and health issues rooted in ignoring bodily signals—such as fatigue, pain, or emotional overwhelm.
The Suppression of Emotion:
Domination cultures teach that emotions—especially vulnerability, grief, and tenderness—are weaknesses. Individuals internalize this by suppressing emotional expression, leading to emotional numbness or volatility.
- Result: Difficulty forming authentic connections, emotional repression, and a tendency toward either explosive outbursts or emotional detachment.
The Fragmented Identity:
A constant pressure to compete and succeed fragments the sense of self. People become defined by external validation—status, income, or social standing—rather than by internal values or purpose.
- Result: Feelings of emptiness, a lack of meaning, and identity crises when external markers of success fade or fail.
2. The Inner Tyrant: Self-Judgment, Perfectionism, and Shame
Domination culture doesn’t just create external hierarchies—it builds internal ones. People raised within these systems often develop an “inner tyrant”—a harsh, judgmental inner voice that enforces perfectionism, control, and self-punishment.
The Cult of Productivity:
When self-worth is tied to output, people internalize the belief that their value lies in what they can produce. Leisure, creativity, and rest become “unearned luxuries,” leading to chronic overwork and eventual burnout.
- Result: Anxiety, depression, and the inability to rest without guilt.
Perfectionism and Control:
The belief that only the strongest, smartest, or most beautiful deserve success creates perfectionist tendencies. People constantly push themselves to meet unrealistic standards, leading to cycles of achievement and self-loathing.
- Result: Fear of failure, procrastination due to perfectionism, and difficulty celebrating personal success.
Shame as Control:
Domination cultures use shame as a tool of social control, and individuals internalize this dynamic. Instead of seeing mistakes as part of growth, people feel defective for their flaws.
- Result: Low self-esteem, social anxiety, and a deep-seated fear of vulnerability.
3. The Erosion of Trust: Relationships Shaped by Power Dynamics
Domination culture thrives on hierarchy, and when internalized, it distorts personal relationships. Instead of seeing others as equals, people begin to unconsciously view them through lenses of dominance and submission, control and compliance.
Conditional Love and Approval:
When people believe that worth must be earned—through success, beauty, or competence—they often extend this belief into their relationships. Love and approval become conditional, leading to transactional dynamics in families, friendships, and romantic partnerships.
- Result: Shallow connections, codependent relationships, and emotional withholding as a form of control.
Power Games in Intimacy:
Domination culture frames power as a zero-sum game: if one person has more, another has less. This mindset seeps into personal relationships, leading people to unconsciously seek control over others or to submit out of fear of rejection.
- Result: Patterns of manipulation, passive-aggressiveness, or emotional withdrawal in close relationships.
The Breakdown of Community:
On a societal scale, internalized domination erodes community bonds. The mindset of self-interest and competition makes it difficult to form strong social networks based on mutual care.
- Result: Social isolation, loneliness epidemics, and widespread mistrust in public institutions and each other.
4. The Fear of Vulnerability: A Culture of Mask-Wearing
At the core of internalized domination is the fear of vulnerability. In cultures that reward strength, control, and certainty, showing vulnerability—whether through asking for help, expressing fear, or admitting mistakes—is seen as dangerous.
Emotional Isolation:
People raised in domination cultures often struggle to reveal their inner worlds. They fear that showing sadness, uncertainty, or insecurity will result in judgment or exploitation.
- Result: Emotional isolation, difficulty forming deep relationships, and a sense of loneliness even in the presence of others.
Over-Reliance on External Validation:
Because vulnerability is shamed, people seek safety in the approval of others. This creates a cycle where identity is shaped by external expectations rather than authentic self-knowledge.
- Result: People-pleasing behaviors, fear of rejection, and difficulty expressing authentic desires or boundaries.
5. The Impact on Collective Well-Being: Societies That Mirror Internal Conflicts
The internalization of domination culture doesn’t just harm individuals—it creates social structures that replicate personal dysfunction at a systemic level.
Alienation and Loneliness:
Societies dominated by control and competition leave individuals isolated, viewing others as threats rather than potential allies. The modern loneliness epidemic was not just the result of technology but of deep cultural fragmentation.
Cycles of Violence and Exploitation:
People who are cut off from their emotions and empathy are more prone to dehumanizing others. This disconnection enables systemic injustices—racism, sexism, economic exploitation—to thrive.
Environmental Disconnection:
When people view themselves as separate from their own emotions and bodies, they also view themselves as separate from nature. This disconnection underpinned centuries of ecological destruction, as the natural world was seen as a “resource” rather than a living system humans were part of.
6. Breaking the Cycle: Reclaiming Wholeness Through Internal Partnership
The unraveling of domination culture required more than systemic change—it required internal healing. Societies could not transition to partnership models without individuals first transforming their relationship with themselves.
Reconnecting with the Body:
Somatic practices—movement, breathwork, mindfulness—help people reestablish a relationship with their physical selves, learning to trust bodily sensations and intuition.
Cultivating Emotional Intelligence:
Communities invested in emotional literacy programs, helping individuals understand, express, and regulate their emotions. Emotional well-being was reframed as a collective responsibility, not just an individual task.
Building Authentic Relationships:
Partnership cultures prioritize relational health. Trust-building practices—circles, restorative dialogues, and mentorship—created spaces where vulnerability was safe and valued.
Reclaiming Purpose Beyond Productivity:
Instead of defining worth by output, people learned to anchor their identities in deeper purposes: creativity, service, ecological stewardship, and communal care.
7. Final Reflections: From Inner War to Inner Partnership
Domination culture didn’t just damage the world—it taught people to become their own oppressors, policing their emotions, controlling their desires, and judging their worth.
The deepest healing came when individuals realized they didn’t need to conquer themselves—they needed to partner with themselves.
When self-judgment gave way to self-trust.
When productivity was balanced with play, rest, and purpose.
When control yielded to curiosity, and disconnection softened into belonging.
The work of healing domination culture wasn’t just about dismantling external hierarchies—it was about dissolving the inner ones.
And in that process, we didn’t just change society.
We changed what it meant to be human.