My wife and I have wounds, as we all do, and we are both probably on the more traumatized end of the spectrum. And sometimes, we – one or both of us – indulge in surfacing wounds.
These days, when that happens, we remind each other: Connect with the grown-up.
It works. It’s a reminder for both of us.
It reminds us of what we already know: We are indulging in immaturity and wounds. We know better. We have a more grown-up side that we can connect with, and that we – somewhere in us – want to connect with.
It helps us step back, let things calm down, and connect with our more mature self.
And that creates a new pattern. We remind each other, which helps us remind ourselves. We act differently, and that makes it easier to continue to shift out of immaturity in this way.