I love pride and pride month.
Why? For the simple reason above. It saves lives.
We live in a traditionally (and weirdly) homophobic culture. In such a culture, gay people internalize homophobia (as we all do) and experience homophobia from others. So pride, and pride month, is an antidote to that. It can help someone continue living instead of deciding to end it all.
That’s why I see any kind of anti-pride sentiments as petty, misguided, and a sign of heterosexual privilege. If you don’t understand why we need pride month, then take five minutes to imagine how it is to be gay in a culture that’s made for heterosexuals and has a subtle and often not-so-subtle anti-gay bias.
I also don’t love pride month. I don’t love that it’s necessary in the first place. I would prefer a culture and civilization that’s radically inclusive. But that’s not the reality we live in.
As usual, there is a lot more to say about this.
HOW I RELATE TO MYSELF AND MY OWN EXPERIENCE
The way we relate to society and the outer world is how we relate to ourselves, our experiences, and our inner world. If I wish to get to know more of me, find and live more from my inner richness, and find peace with who and what I am and my always changing experiences, it only makes sense to be radically inclusive of society and the wider world. (Keeping the paradox of tolerance in mind.)
I AM INEVITABLY IN A MINORITY
Also, I am inevitably in a minority in society in some ways, and I can easily find myself as a minority in more obvious ways (for instance, by being disabled), so here too, it only makes sense to work towards a society that’s radically inclusive. I personally benefit from it already now, and may do so in a more obvious way in the future.
DOMINATION VS PARTNERSHIP CULTURES
This relates to the topic of domination and partnership cultures. In domination cultures, some groups are automatically seen as less-than and marginalized. A more deep partnership orientation tends to be more radically inclusive.
We all internalize marginalizing attitudes from the domination culture we live in, but we can be aware of it, we can be aware of the harm it does to others, ourselves, and society, and we can choose to see through it and live from a more inclusive orientation. Not (just) for the sake of the marginalized but for all of us and for the health of society as a whole.
ZERO-SUM VS WIN-WIN
A domination orientation tends to also come with a zero-sum mindset. If you are honored and actively included, it means there is less for me. I don’t want you to be honored or actively included since it can mean less for me. This is trauma behavior.
In contrast, a partnership orientation tends to come with a win-win mindset. If you are honored and actively included, that benefits all of us and me too. That’s the type of society I want to live in, because it’s better for all of us.
IN ESSENCE
So, in essence…
Pride saves lives. It creates a more inclusive society, which directly benefits me since I too need and want to be included. And it helps me find peace with more sides of myself and my own experience.
It also costs literally nothing. It doesn’t cost me anything. It doesn’t cost society anything.
For me, that’s a simple equation.