Now and then, my system feels disorganized and off, and it’s very uncomfortable. It’s difficult for me to find the exact words to describe the experience.
In the past, I would just ride it out. I would rest full-time. I would try to nourish my system with nourishing food. I would go into a kind of mini-retreat until the worst of it passed, which could take hours, days, or longer.
Recently, I have discovered that Vortex Healing (VH) catch-ups help my system organize and function better, at least within the limits of CFS. (I live with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.) Sometimes, the improvement can be dramatic and quick.
For some years now, I have known that VH energization helps me in daily life, and also when my system gets disorganized. It still helps and is essential to help me function, and it’s very helpful in combination with catch-ups, and yet, catch-ups seems to often help me the fastest.
What are the VH catch-ups? It’s something we do after VH healing sessions, and after there has been healing and/or awakening movements. If we don’t do it, the person’s system can destabilize, disorganize, and generally be over-cooked and overwhelmed, and it’s not a comfortable experience.
We catch up several parts of the system including the organs, the nervous system, and different parts of the energy system. After that, we usually do integration to smooth it all out.
I don’t know why I haven’t made the connection between what happens when my system feels that way, and the need for catch-ups. It has been a blind spot for me, maybe because my mind saw it as something we do in the context of VH and the healing and awakening movements initiated with VH.
In any case, it makes a lot of sense. My system is likely having ongoing movements related to healing and awakening, and it does have trouble stabilizing and digesting it all. This is probably connected to the CFS and lack of energy and resources.
It also makes sense in the light of the explorations that tend to be part of my daily life.
A NOTE ABOUT THE EXPLORATIONS
What are some of those explorations that are part of my daily life?
I notice my nature – that I am space for the world. That I am this awake space the world, as it appears to me, happens within and as. I notice how the world moves through me when this human self moves through the world. I notice how there is no distance to anything, it’s happening here. I notice how I can only find past and future in my ideas about it. This is a more neutral practice.
The following are aimed at inviting in a transformation of my human self:
I often do some kind of mantra – thank you, ho’o, heart prayer, Amma (since the Amma shift), and so on.
I give everything to the divine – this life, this human self, this experience. (As part of this, I notice it’s already the divine. It doesn’t belong to anyone or anything other than life, Existence, the divine.)
I notice how this experience is already noticed and allowed. It’s already noticed by this awake space, this consciousness I am. It’s already allowed by this space, life, existence. This helps my conscious orientation to align with what’s already here.
I may do some tonglen or ho’oponopono with others or myself, when I notice it can help shift inherited patterns.
I explore dreams, often through active imagination, voice dialog / Big Mind process, and/or inquiry.
I often dip into parts work, usually through some version of voice dialog or the Big Mind process.
I often invite in spontaneous shaking and stretching guided by the body. I do this lying down, sitting, and sometimes standing. (This is part of TRE. The TRE exercises have helped my system access these healing mechanisms in daily life.)
Also, in general, it seems my system is on its own awakening journey that is somewhat – or largely, or fully – independent of my conscious orientation.
So yes, it makes sense that my system needs help to catch up and integrate when some version of this is ongoing, especially since my system has reduced resources due to my chronic illness.
EXAMPLES
I have noticed this dynamic several times since I wrote this. Here is one example. (I’ll add more if I remember.)
September 2. I felt weird in the evening. My system felt off and disorganized. I had different emotions blow through no apparent reason, some strong. I mentioned it to my wife, and remembered that my system may need catch-ups. After just a few minutes of catching up my system, I felt better. My system calmed down and smoothed out, and I didn’t feel weird anymore. (Not more than usual, anyway.)
What did I do earlier today that disorganized my system and made it need catch-ups? I spent some time energizing my system this morning. I spent a lot of the day giving everything – this life, this experience, this human self – over to the divine. (And notice it’s already given to the divine and never was anything else.) I noticed myself as headless, as awake space the world as it appears to me happens within and as. I noticed some sensations in the head area, especially more in the mouth and throat area, that there is an old tendency to identify a little with, and that those sensations are sensations and happens within and as what I am as anything else.
October 14. I had a vaccine this morning, and have had some of the symptoms of my system responding to the vaccine tonight. I decided to try catch-ups, and it worked remarkably well. The symptoms were reduced and far more manageable. I wonder if the body needed catch-ups after responding to the vaccine, and then normalized.
October 26. I had the beginnings of a crash today, and it felt quite serious. I did catch-ups (MI to catch up brain and nervous system, MI to catch up whatever in my system needed catch-ups, grid for catching up, Divine Mother transmission, Gaia transmission, Angelic Heart, Vortex Therapy + Genetic Vortex Therapy.) I also drank electrolytes and had some berries with cream, both of which helps me a lot these days. Kombucha also helps my system be more balanced and organized. After this, my system felt much more organized, and with some rest, I felt almost back to normal. (Which is still not great, but also not a disaster.) If I had done none of this, it may have taken one or several days of complete rest to recover. I should also mention that I took the rest of the day very easy, and went to bed early, to give my body extra time to recover and rebalance.