I remember fragments from two dreams.
One, of being in community. I loved the sense of being immersed in community, and having support of community. I have loved it the times I have (often briefly) experienced it. I miss it now, especially being in Norway on my own and not having that support. I also recognize that when I have been in community, I have often not fully appreciated it, wanted more, and maybe even expected something “better” to come along.
The other, of seeing a public project I did several years ago which combines my photos and text, and is likely about regeneration. It’s surprisingly good. It’s a reminder that I often devalue what I do, and when I see it later, I am surprised by the quality of what I did.
Both of these likely has to do with a core issue of not enough. To me, I am not enough, so to me, the situation I am in, and what I produce, will not seem enough.
Through early experiences in life, a part of me developed to think and feel that I am not enough, and that colors my perception and life.