ESSENCE
I went to see Amma in London this last week, and thought I would share a few highlights.
I had a lot come up in the days before the event, both physically (headache, nausea, pain through the body) and mentally (hopelessness). This cleared up the night before leaving for the event.
Through the event, I saw people that looked very familiar and I thought I knew. Others also said that I looked familiar and thought they knew me. We didn’t know each other, so something else was going on.
I am not so interested in the bliss since it comes and goes (although I did experience a quiet grounded bliss), but I am interested in transformation. During the event, and especially in meditation, I deepened into hearing all sounds as the voice of Amma / the divine, and seeing all physical as the body of Amma / the divine. This is something I wish to continue and deepen, and allow my human self to transform within.
When I have done healing for myself or others since the Amma experience/shift two years ago, Amma has been there for the healing. Now, that seems even stronger.
In general, talking about anything related to awakening has had a “no” in me, apart from sharing some things in writing here. I notice that sharing about Amma is wide open and a yes, so there is something different there. (Which is interesting since it does go against my familiar identity.)
As I added the links below, I realize that the inital Amma shift/experience was November 20, 2023, and I first saw Amma in person November 20, 2025, exactly two years later to the day.
See an update on the Amma shift/experience from May this year, another update from January this year, and the initial Amma experience from November 20, 2023.
See a brief chronological account below, starting with the most recent and going back to before leaving for London.
SUNDAY – TUESDAY THIS WEEK
I arrived early and was there for the last half hour or so of Amma’s darshans. Then, I shared a car to Heathrow with someone from Spain, and we had the now familiar experience of knowing each other from before.
At Heathrow, I took the bus to Oxford to see a friend there. Two things may be worth noting: I did a healing for the three in the house where I stayed (K, D, O), and after a few minutes of basic Vortex Healing (strenghtening divine lines etc.), Amma came in and took over. If I tried to return to VH, it was dwarfed by the Amma healing. I sensed and saw that the healing did very different things for each of the three, and that’s also what they reported after.
Monday, my friend and I sat in front of the fireplace in a pub in Burford. She is connected with nature beings and spirits. At some point, we both sensed something different entered the room. It came about the same time as an older couple sat down at the table next to us. She sensed it as a tree spirit, and we both sensed a deep sadness and bewildernment in the tree spirit. After some minutes of connecting with it, the woman of the older couple said: It was so sad we had to cut down that old beautiful tree, it was damaging the foundation.
SATURDAY
I came in time for the meditation, talk, and chants. Later, I connected with more people, mostly from Vortex Healing. I kept exploring hearing all sounds as the voice of Amma / the divine, and seeing the physical world as the body of Amma / the divine.
FRIDAY
At breakfast, my host – a woman from India – emphasized that it’s about God and the divine, not gurus and saints. Gurus and saints can remind us, and they and their lives always point to God. That has been my orientation from the beginning, although my connection with Amma does seem to add something, perhaps in terms of embodiment.
I arrived early to receive a token for Darshan (hug from Amma). I made several nice connections at different phases of this process. The hug itself didn’t come with any noticeable shifts. The noticeable shift, for me, happened the night before going to see her.
THURSDAY PM
When I arrived in the afternoon, I could sense Amma’s field as I got closer to the building.
From the first moment, I would see people I thought I knew. They looked very familiar, even if I had not met them before. Others said the same about me. Why did I – and we – have that experience so consistently? It’s not something that normally happens in my life. It could be past life recognition. Or seeing Amma in each other. Or perhaps the divine did something to make me feel more connected with the Sangha.
I found a seat close to the stage and Amma, and noticed all sounds as the voice of Amma (the divine) and all people and things as the body of Amma. It was easy and came naturally in that setting.
Since the shift from the Amma experience two years ago, everything has had the flavor of Amma. The next phase seems to notice all as the voice and body of Amma / the divine.
I had a lot come up this afternoon and evening, especially around feeling unloved, unlovable, unworthy, twisted in strange shapes, and so on. I recognized this too as the divine taking this form.
After having had some food at a Nepalese restaurant, I returned as they were showing a video of Amma joyfully dancing and giving high fives to a group of mentally handcapped people. It’s a reminder that the divine is doing that with the many equvivalent parts of me – the wounded, developmentally stuck parts, the ones my personality sometimes is ashamed of. It’s also a reminder for me to do that with the wounded and handicapped parts of me. This helped shift how I relate to these parts of me.
THURSDAY AM
This morning, I am going to see Amma in London.
It’s outside of my familiar and conscious identity. My personality has always been more drawn to Taoism, Buddhism, and Christian mysticism.
Due to some snags with the travel plans, I had given up going on Monday morning, and almost immediately received a message that resolved the situations so I could go.
And yet, it doesn’t feel like much of a choice, especially considering the Amma shift that happened two years ago. (See previous articles.)
WEDNESDAY EVENING
Wednesday evening, YouTube chose to display a video to me with the title “If you see this video, it means a big breakthrough is coming”. It seems to be the kind of New Age videos I never watch, so I don’t know why the algorithm chose to include it in my feed. Still, it is a synchronicity that I saw it just hours before going to see Amma.
In any case, I am conscious of not feeding any particular expectations. I am going because there is a solid and quiet yes in me to do so, I may get some good food and meet old and new friends, and I’ll leave even that open.
SUNDAY-WEDNESDAY PREVIOUS WEEK
Starting the previous weekend, I felt completely awful with headache, nausea, pain in my whole body, and as if life had lost all meaning. This cleared up around the time I went to bed Wednesday night. I suspect this may have been a kind of bringing up and clearing out things from my system. It often happens for one or two days during Vortex Healing classes, and this time it seemed to have happened before.
UPDATE SUNDAY, DECEMBER 7
This morning, I had a rich and vivid dream of having just arrived at Amma’s ashram. I was getting to know people and the place, and enjoyed it. It seemed to be a long dream which continued after I woke up briefly once or twice.
INITIAL NOTES
Monday
Healing
Started with VH but Amma came in and took over, very strong
Seemed to do very different things with each person
Pub, tree spirit
Saturday
Amma’s voice, Amma’s body
The voice of the divine, the body of the divine
Friday
Host, it’s about God
Thursday
Amma as everything and everyone
Consciously reorganize to see, feel, love it all as that
As the divine taking all these forms, with Amma flavor
Also within me – discomfort, grief, anger, sickness, wounds, all the things my personality doesn’t like so much, may experience shame about, exile etc
Came back and saw a video of Amma dancing and giving high fives to a group of mentally handicapped. The divine is doing that with the handicapped in me, including parts I ashamed of
Saw people I thought I knew, very familiar
Either bc of saw Amma in them, or past life connections, or the divine wanting me to experience a deeper connection with them
Wednesday night
If you see this video, it means a big breakthrough is coming
……
Perhaps since it’s outside of my familiar identity, I am especially aware of the different reasons for seeing Amma.
On the one hand, it can seem like faith, devotion, finding a replacement for or supplement to one’s own human mom, maybe wishing to be saved, and so on. There is some truth in all of it.
On the other hand, it’s also quite different. It’s life supporting itself. It’s one expression of life/the divine supporting another expression. It’s the play of life. It’s all happening within and as the awake space here. It’s the play of this awake space.