Consciousness and energy

I am reminded of a great article Ken Wilber wrote on consciousness and energy: Towards a comprehensive theory of subtle energies.

It is a while since I read it now, but what I got from it was a clearer sense of how consciousness and energy interacts and support each other at each level of our being, and in the awakening as well.

If we see ourselves as body (physical, chi), mind (emotions, thoughts), soul (alive presence, luminosity), and spirit (awake emptiness and form, Big Mind, Brahman, Tao), then we can find a pairing of consciousness and energy running through all these levels.

The diksha, and similar energy transfers in the shaktipat family such as Ilahinoor and what happens in Waking Down, is working at awakening from the energy side, functioning as a catalyst for changes on the energetic side, which in turn invites corresponding changes on the consciousness side.

These changes seem to happen at all levels. At our mind level, there is less being caught up in knots. At the soul level, there is an immediate experience and perception of the alive presence filtered in different ways, including the fertile darkness, luminous blackness, and as the alive and infinitely loving and intelligent presence in the heart area – the indwelling god. And at the Spirit level, there is the growing noticing of all as awake emptiness and form, absent of any separate self.

Changes at the energy side supports changes at the consciousness side, and the other way around.

This also reminds me of the slightly expanded integral practice grid, where we have our levels of being on one dimension, and self/other on the second. Some of the practices we do on our own, we put our own work into it, such as yoga, meditation, inquiry and physical exercise. And others are given to us from somebody else, such as massage, Breema, and the various forms of energy transfers mentioned above.

Together, there is our own work, and the gifts of others. Which there always is, of course, only more noticed this way.

Blue spheres

Luminous blue spheres are coming up again, this time in and around the knees and elbows…! There seems to be one on either side of each knee, and either side of each elbow. I know that the chakras are just about everywhere in and around the body, although only the seven main ones are usually described in the literature. These blue spheres may be some of the minor chakras.

Their qualities are of… a luminous blue, deep, soft, cool, infinitely quiet allowing any activity.


This is something I have noticed since my teens, but not written down before. It is the sense of a transition between a slightly disorganized field and a crystallizing field.

It is especially tangible in sitting mediation, where the transition usually happens within the first few minutes, and it is also tangible in daily life, where the sense of crystallization is more or less present depending on how much sitting practice I do and other things going on. (During the couple of months last fall where any sense of I fell away, the emptiness itself took on a crystal quality.)

It shows up as a tangible sense of crystallization (or not), and also visually in the energy fields of myself and others. When there is no or less crystallization, there is also less awareness of the energy field and what it represents. As it is brought more into awareness, the crystallization also takes place.

So again, it appears to be more literal than it may be taken by many. There seems to be a literal reconfiguring of the subtle energies which is experienced, and seen, as a crystallization.

The three centers and the chakras

A question about the relationship between the three centers and the chakras came up for me after the phone session. I don’t know much about it yet, so all of this is from a very limited experience, and not aligned with anything I have heard or read so far.

The three centers and the chakras do not at all seem the same, but they are also obviously connected.

Three centers allowing the chakras to reorganize

It seems that the three centers allows the chakras to transform and reorganize, along with the human self in general. The belly center allows the three first chakras to reorganize within all as Spirit, within and allowing a deepening of a felt sense of all as Spirit. The heart center allows the heart chakra to reorganize to loving all as Spirit. The head center allows the 6th and 7th centers to reorganize. And my sense right now (which will probably change) is that all of the three centers together allows the throat center to reorganize.

The chakras setting the stage for soul center awakenings

It also seems that working with the appropriate chakras can set the stage for an awakening of the soul centers, inviting an awakening of the centers to take place. And, as mentioned above, that this awakening in turn allows the chakras to reorganize within this new context.

The relationship(s) between the hara and the belly center

For instance, Breema or other hara-oriented practices can reorganize the hara chakras (2nd, or 3rd, or as I experience it the three first) allowing a drop into endarkenment, which in turn continues the reorganization of the hara chakras within the new context of endarkenment, of a felt sense of all as Spirit, which in turn deepens and more fully embodies this felt sense of all as Spirit.

There must be many individuals out there who have explored this in far more depth, for instance in the different yogic traditions (maybe especially Taoist yoga) and it seems that Almaas too probably have some insights here (although I haven’t gotten that far in reading his books yet.)

Spheres of blue light

Since the dream last night, the small spheres of blue light seem very tangible, placed in each vertebrae close to the spinal cord. It is like a cool quiet awakening happening there, an awakening of the intelligence of the vertebrae as the guide in the dream told me. A quiet cool intelligence coming alive, at 24 (or so) different points along the spine. (And the quality of the brilliant cool blue intelligent light is really quite similar to the cool blue of the stars in the Pleiades.)

Hara, energetic hole, scoliosis and endarkenment

I can’t remember if I have mentioned it here, but I have noticed for some time the relationship between energetic holes, physical problems, psychological tendencies, and now also the three soul centers.

For me, the main one is in the hara.

Since the initial awakening in my teens, I have been aware of an energetic hole in my navel area, specifically located at and near my spine. At the same area, I had a noticeable physical deformity as well, an odd stacking of the vertebrae diagnosed as scoliosis.

At the time, I did a lot of Tai Chi and Chi Gong, both because I wanted more grounding and embodiment, and also to fill up this region.

A couple of years ago, I found Breema which also specifically works with the Hara region, and I have experienced a great deal of fullness, warmth and nurturing in the belly from Breema. Slowly over these couple of years, the energetic hole has filled up, and the spine has reorganized so there is only a slight stacking oddity now (helped along with massage in that area).

With the more recent belly awakening, the endarkenment, there is a sense of a deep luminous velvety blackness and also a new level of nurturing, and a new feeling of everything as Spirit.

This feeling of everything as Spirit, and the reorganizing of the emotional level within the context of all as Spirit, was exactly what was missing in the initial awakening. The head and heart centers were awakened, but not (yet) the belly one. So although I saw, and even loved, all as Spirit, I didn’t feel all as Spirit. The emotions lived their own life, and there was a good deal of turmoil there, partly as a consequence of the intensity of the awakening and its implications.

So there was an energetic hole in the hara region, a physical deformity in the spine at the level just below the navel, and a lack of grounding and emotional turmoil.

This energetic hole then gradually filled in, the physical deformity reduced greatly, and then there was a sudden shift into endarkenment, an early belly awakening into feeling all as Spirit, allowing the emotions to reorganize to all as Spirit, and a new sense of deep nurturing and being held by the velvety luminous blackness.

It is also interesting to note that Hameed Ali (A. H. Almaas) writes about these things in ways very close to my own experiences (although from far more experience and with more precision.)

Christ meditation

I did the Christ meditation last night, and noticed a new shift and a few familiar things as well.

In the Christ meditation, I visualize Christ in my heart, and in front and behind, on the left and right, and above and below, about 5-8 feet out. Christ can be visualized as a presence, a light, or even in the physical form of Jesus, depending of what resonates the most and gives the strongest sense of presence. For me, a combination of presence and golden light seems to work best.

Soft alive loving intelligent receptive luminosity

The difference this time was the quality of the light. This time, it had a soft rounded quality, as a soft luminous deep infinitely loving, intelligent and receptive luminosity, with an alive presence. It has the deep velvety quality of the fertile darkness, and the aliveness and love, intelligence and receptivity of the alive luminosity.

In my dream that morning, the fertile blackness took on the qualities of the alive luminosity, revealing itself as luminous blackness. And during this meditation, the luminosity took on the deep soft quiet qualities of the fertile darkness. They seem to be revealing themselves as just two facets of the same, in different ways, with one in the foreground, then the other.


I also noticed the experience of the directions again, as I often do.

The front seems to have to do with my conscious daily life and interactions.

The back with my individual shadows, maybe shared with people in my groups such as culture and nationality, and in general what I tend to be unaware of in my daily life.

The sides with community and relationships with humanity, animals, plants and the Earth.

Above with traditional yang spirituality, such as transcendence and ascension.

And below with deep feminine spirituality, and also deeper collective shadows.

Placing, or noticing, the Christ there allows the light of awareness into these realms, allowing them to reorganize within the light of consciousness.

Unique quality

I also notice the unique Christ quality. It involves the heart center, but so do anything else related to Big Heart, such as Avalokiteshwara (Chenrezig, Kanzeon, Quan Yin). It involves the head center as well, especially the crown. But it also has a very distinct quality, a fiery alive presence that I have not experienced with anything else.

Tongues of fire

I also took the opportunity to look at the tongue of fire in the mirror afterwards (I know this is weird! I am definitely pushing my comfort zone by writing about this.) It looks like a cylinder of very clear light attached to the crown, maybe about 1.5-2 inches wide and 5-6 inches tall. When I move my head around, it follows exactly, as if solidly attached to the crown.

So it doesn’t really look like a tongue of fire, but it is very understandable why it may be described – and depicted – that way. It is of clear brilliant light, attached to the top as a flame to a candle (!), and it also has the fiery quality of the Christ presence itself.

Tongues of fire

When we worked with the Hebrew letters on Sunday, sounding and visualizing them above the head and at the three soul centers, we used letters with tongues of fire above them.

It reminded me of one of the most surprising experiences in my life. In the years following my initial awakening, I did did the heart prayer and Christ meditations and visualizations along with a more Buddhist practice, and along with everything else happening, I noticed an unusually intense activity on the crown on my head. The awakening also allowed me to see energies, and as I happened to walk past a mirror following an especially alive Christ meditation, I saw a flame on top of my head.

It was hugely surprising to me as it seemed to reflect the descriptions in Acts, which I up until then had taken as purely metaphorical. Now, it seemed that it was far more than metaphorical. The tongues of fire is a literal description of what happens when we connect with the Christ consciousness and energy. There are literally tongues of fire, energetically, activated at the top of our heads, and visible in our energy systems.

I am also surprised by drawings and paintings such as the one above. It is just about exactly what I saw, and see whenever I immerse myself in Christ practices. Have these artists seen it for themselves? Do they intuit or sense it? Do they base it one representations made by others who have seen it? It is probably a combination, and different for each artist. But it is still surprising, and beautiful.

Recent energy drawings

From Sunday evening, after the diksha group and the additional activation of the three soul centers. I have experienced light below me quite strongly recently, since the endarkenment, initially as blobs of light (as in some of the previous drawings), and now as a very large field of light below me. I notice how the blobs above seem to merge and become larger.







Also from Sunday evening, with a little more color. It was made just before the other one, so it does not as accurately mirror what is going on as that one (but worth including because of the color).









From December 6, with the blobs of light above and below, more or less symmetrically. The drawing also has a clear differentiation between above and below, as there has been since the endarkenment shift.

The lines below reflect the sense of dark, fertile fullness of the endarkenment, centered in the belly. And the rays above, centered in the heart area, reflect the luminosity of the enlightenment, centered in the head. (Both are in a process of unfolding. There is still a slight sense of I, and there is no sense that there is an end to the endarkenment process.)




A drawing from November 30, similar to the December 6 one. Here too, the blobs of light above and below, and the differentiation above and below. I think this is the most beautiful one, although it represents only one (brief) phase and the light below is now far more expansive and luminous.


In my (superficial) explorations of different traditions, I discovered that the general category that diksha falls under is called shaktipat, a transfer of energy which facilitates awakening.

It is used systematically, by many teachers, in the Indian traditions, and probably more or less systematically, sometimes even accidentally, by some teachers in many other traditions.

Shakti means energy and pat means touch, and it seems to typically be done through touch, by laying on of hands or even hugging (Amma), but it can also be transfered through gazing or even at a distance – either through an intentional transfer from the giver, or through intention and prayer from the recipient’s side.

Shaktipat and energy healing

There are of course several parallels between this and the (in the west) more familiar faith/energy healing.

In both cases, the “giver” functions as a catalyst for the energy (channeling or awakening it), and the energy itself functions as a catalyst for either healing or awakening. The energy works on and in the energy field of the recipient, allowing the physical and/or consciousness aspects to reorganize. Where energy healing facilitates healing, shaktipat facilitates awakening.


What does seem somewhat new in diksha is its predictability and universality. It seems that just about anyone can go through the three week process to become a diksha giver, and that the process unfolds in generally the same way for the recipients, up until awakening to realized selflessness.

From what I hear, and experience myself, it also seems that the different diksha givers transmit their own flavor of the diksha, emphasizing different aspects of the awakening process (for instance endarkenment.)

Other traditions

Muktananda and Adi Da are known for their use of shaktipat, and it is also an important element in Waking Down (not surprisingly, since Saniel Bonder was a student of Adi Da.)

Amma seem to transfer a heart-awakening shaktipat through hugs.

There is a possibility that some Christians do something similar through laying on of hands, although I am not sure about that.

The Tibetans probably have it in their repertoire as well, as they seem to have a very comprehensive and inclusive toolbox.

And, as mentioned, some teachers in any tradition probably use it, either accidentally or more intentionally. Sometimes even by just being in the same room as their students.

Studies etc.

Especially in the west, there is a natural and healthy skepticism about both shaktipat and energy healing, and the only way to get some more clarity around it is to put it to the test through scientific studies (double-blind, using physiologically and psychological measures of changes) and also by trying it out personally.

It is also interesting to look at the different factors involved. Some of the effect does seem to be through the energy transfer, allowing the energy aspect of the recipient to change which in turn invites the physical and/or consciousness aspects to shift. The other aspects certainly include the expectation and receptivity of the recipient, which in itself can allow for significant shifts.

Energy sketches

Here are the energy sketches I have posted in the past, each one reflecting either what is really going on energetically (don’t know since I don’t have anyone apart from myself to check it) or at least what is going on psychologically.

This one is from some years back, towards the end of the initial awakening (started in my teens and lasted for about ten years.) It reflects the intensity of that period, and the head centered awakening of emptiness and luminosity. Everything, including the physical body, was experienced as emptiness and luminosity during this phase. There is also a circle around the body (a mandorla), which may reflect the intensity of the reorganization of my human self that took place during that time. It may also reflect a remaining sense of I at some levels (not that mandorlas necessarily or even typically reflect that, that is just my sense in this particular case.)

What strikes me the most, looking at it now, is the burning intensity here. I was on fire during this period, in every way. Very ambitious, engaged in a large number of passions, even the nights were intense – with an experience of intense reorganization and work on my human self. I didn’t know how to turn it off (and then it happened on its own, during the following dark night phase.)

Here is another one from the same time. Notice how the above/below is relatively symmetrical and uniform, with with some indications of roots going down (but also up).

I didn’t do any drawings at all during the dark night phase, which happened a couple of years later. (Or any spiritual practices at all, apart from community engagement.)

This one is from six months ago, at the tail end of the dark night phase (which lasted for some years and is still not quite over), and a little more than half a year into the diksha process. There is still an above/below symmetry, reflecting a head centered awakening of emptiness and luminosity. There are also roots going down, but they seem a little precarious to me now.

This is from last week, after the enlovenment diksha and just before a conscious awareness of the shift into endarkenment and early belly awakening. There is much more above/below differentiation, and more fluid fullness and richness below. There is still the reflections of the head centered awakening above, emptiness and luminosity. And there is also a sphere over the head, which I remember from drawings I made while still in Norway which I don’t have here (some years before the initial one posted above). The sphere in this one is more expanded and alive compared to the small one six months earlier.

This is one or two days after the conscious shift into endarkenment, with above/below differentiation and more spheres above the head, probably representing chakras/energy centers outside of the physical body. (The yellow and red around the body is a little more muddy than seems right.)

And this one, one or two days after the colorful one. Simple, with clear above/below differentiation. Below, I see that in the drawing from six months ago, there are roots. The ones immediately after the endarkenment diksha have smooth flowing lines and roots. And this one has only the smooth flowing lines.

Energy drawing

This is what came out after the endarkenment shift…

In these drawings, there used to be a circle around the body. The diagonal lines above continued below, creating a symmetry above and below. And the colors were mostly golden and light. All reflecting more of the head/enlightenment awakening. Of the circles above the head, only the first were strongly there, and the others absent or smaller.

Now, there is no circle around the body. There is clearly more differentiation above and below. The colors are more differentiated and stronger. And the circles above the head more emphasized and full.

See also drawings from some years ago, six months ago and a few days ago.

Hara as a Reservoir

Since my first days with Breema, there has been a deepening and always new experience of the hara. The hara is described as the center of vitality in Breema and in many eastern energy approaches. I have experienced it as very clearly outlined, filling the whole cavity between the lower part of the rib cage and the pelvic bowl, nurturing the whole system.

During the Breema intensive this weekend, I had a new experience of the hara. This time, just about every time I received a sequence, I experienced in a very literal way the hara filling up, as a reservoir. It was as if something cool, clear, fresh, liquid and nurturing trickled from wherever my body was touched and to the hara, being stored and nurturing the whole bodymind. Staying as full and complete as ever, even as it flows through and nurtures the body.

While I am on the topic, here are some typical experiences while doing Breema…

A sense of no separation, of everything being included. Whatever happens is included in the session, including sounds, people walking through the room, and so on.

A sense of coming home, and of my whole being participating.

A sense of everything being always fresh and new.

A sense of fluidity and fullness.

A sense of fullness and bliss.

A sense of my hara filling with warmth, heat, nurturing the whole bodymind, and flowing throughout the body.

A sense of getting out of my own way, allowing an inherent wisdom to surface and shine through.

Nada Yoga

I went to the first evening of a nada yoga class last night. Apart from the obvious benefit of opening the voice, and also connecting with the chakras, releasing into spaciousness, and so on, it was interesting to notice parallels with other practices.

In koan practice, any tendency to being self-conscious and censoring oneself comes up and is seen, yet the direction of presenting the koan is in doing it wholeheartedly, and that was certainly the case here as well. In Breema, we use the principles of body comfortable, no extra, no force, and full participation, and all of those seem aligned with the nada yoga approach to using the voice: allowing the voice to rise fully and naturally, free from the force of holding back and pushing.

Earlier in the evening, I went to a kundalini yoga class where we practiced shunya listening, listening from emptiness, which – in a way – is a shortcut to what we arrive at through The Work. By allowing beliefs to unravel through inquiry, the natural spaciousness and clarity is revealed, free from attachment to any one particular idea and perspective and free to play with any idea and perspective.

Transformational Breathing

I did a transformational breathing session this morning, by listening to instructions on a CD (and realized I had done a workshop at the Zen Center a while back using the same technique).

It was certainly powerful. My whole body started tingling and went cold quite rapidly, and the muscles tightened up quite strongly in different places. My hands were tight with fingers in a bow backwards, my facial muscles contracted, there was a strong root block as they call it in yoga, and so on. The body lived its own life, unfolding within pure awareness. And it was fine. (Although a part of me was glad nobody walked in and saw it!).

It reminded me that something very similar happened after my first diksha. The days after the diksha, I went into a strong witness state, with strong muscle contractions in the neck/head area. One or two weeks later, I was in bed a Saturday morning listening to the radio, and my body did what it did during this breath session – although just more of it. It contracted, moved around and completely lived its own life – with no possibility for conscious intervention. The center of gravity was in the Witness – just pure awareness of it all unfolding, of it all passing through.

It makes sense as both the breath work and the diksha works at the energy side of it, and may at times work in similar ways.

I also see several ways this breath work can be helpful. It allows me familiarity with everything passing through within this Timeless Present, meltet in with clarity and pure awareness. It allows my breath to deepen, gradually, in my daily life (maybe). And it may also allow the body to release and reorganize. Again, who knows.

I’ll probably try the breath work more, and see how it unfolds.

Staff of Hermes

Several days after doodling the drawing to the left (and similar ones), it dawned on me that the spirals below the body, and the winged shaped forms out to the sides, resemble the staff of Hermes, the caduceus.

The staff of Hermes represent wisdom, healing, fertility and also commerce. As a symbol of healing, it is used interchangeably with the (more technically correct) staff of Asclepius – the god of healing.

This is an interesting connection, and as I have seen the staff symbol many times, it may well have influenced the drawing – although certainly not consciously.

It is also possible that the pattern reflects an archetype of some sort.

And it is possible that it reflects something really going on in the energy system of folks – picked up by the ancent cultures (back to Mesopotamia) and now also arising in me.

Who knows? At the very least, it is an interesting synchronicity.


In many forms of martial arts and yoga, the hara (tan t’ien) is emphasized as the physical center of gravity, the source of energy and/or the center of intake and distribution of energy throughout the body(ies), and the center/initiator of movements.

My experience of the hara is that it (the abdominal region) warms up during tai chi, chi gong, Zen practice, yoga and also Breema. This warmth or heat seems to distribute and nourish throughout the body, and gives a sense of comfort, fullness and being at home. I also notice the ease and flow of movements when they “come from” the hara, in any movement practice.

In reading about it, I also notice that it is sometimes equated with the third chakra (Manipura), sometimes the second (Svadhisthana), and sometimes both – covering the whole abdominal region.

It is usually described as located one or two inches below the navel, although sometimes also as the lower abdomen or the whole abdominal cavity (hara means belly in Japanese).

Different descriptions

It is interesting that there is no consensus on which chakra it corresponds with.

It may be another case of fluidity, in this case where the energy bodies may reconfigure to some extent according to frameworks and practices.

In some traditions, the hara (tan t’ien) may come into focus and be experienced as precisely located at a point below the navel – and this may either correspond with the second or third chakra. In other traditions, the hara emerges more as the lower abdomen or the whole abdominal region – including both second and third chakras.

In my case, the hara seems to include the abdominal region as a whole – and both second and third chakra.

Energy Stories **

In looking at the energy drawings from some years back and yesterday, I see that the main difference is in the absence of an oval around the body in the current one.

The earlier ones all did, as far as I can remember, and they were made before the dark night of the soul phase. The few I have doodled more recently are oval-free, and are post (or at the tail end of) the dark night phase.

I wonder if the oval somehow represented a subtle sense of I. There was a sense of accomplishment and arrogance that went with that awakening phase, although I could see it clearly and that it came from delusion. There was also an attachment to phenomena in the form of a certain magical atmosphere and bliss.

Then, there was an invitation to radically let go of any attachments to these ideas – to the remaining idea of I, to any atmosphere, to bliss or absence of bliss. And this invitation took the form of a long dark night of the soul, where all this was – apparently – taken away from me. Where I was plunged into the absence of all this. Where there was no material for any sense of accomplishment or arrogance. Where there was no magical atmosphere and no bliss.

Now, at the tail end of this phase, the oval does not show up – at least not in the few doodles so far. There is the physical body, the energies of grounding, the clear energies going through the heart area, the mental aura, a vortex some feet above the head, and that is about it. There is just clarity and an absence of any borders outside of the human self.

(Maybe the earlier drawings reflect an F6-F9 awakening – centaur, nature mysticism, deity mysticism and witness awakening. They were all definetely strongly present, and with a relatively clear seeing into the nondual. And the newer doodles reflect more of a nondual awakening, although it is definetely not quite emerged and popped yet.)

Who knows. These are all just stories anyway. The drawing are energy stories. These interpretations are also just stories. Just abstractions added to the simplicity and clarity of what is.


I used to do doodles like these (usually in color) to get a sense of what is going on in the moment. It may or may not be an accurate representation of what is really going on energetically, but in any case says something about what is going on (as much as any dream, any set of current stories about anything, any story coming up while watching clouds or inkblots, and so on). This one happened while I facilitated someone over phone earlier today(!).

What comes up when I look at the drawing: I find an attraction to the solid and fluid lines flowing up/down through the ground (would have continued down if it wasn’t for the writing right there), the lines – similar to wings – spreading out along the surface of the ground, the line coming up from the center with the vortex 7-8 (?) feet over the head, the fluid lines coming in/out from infinity and going through the heart area.

Nadis, Meridians, Chakras & The Holarchy of Being

I just finished Theories of the Chakras by Hiroshi Motoyama, and it seems clear that the relationships between the Indian nadis, the Chinese meridians, the chakras, and our holarchy of being still offers many opportunities for exploration and clarification. I also see how Dr. Motoyama only includes the health aspect of the Chinese system, and largely leave out the spiritual – including Chinese yoga, and practices such as five element acupuncture. I am sure that is just from a lack of sources, yet it is also leaves a big hole in an otherwise very interesting and useful book.

Chakras as Transformers

I am reading Theories of the Chakras by Hiroshi Motoyama, and find it both interesting and clear (Ken Wilber seems to have used it as one of the main sources for his chapter of subtle energies in the upcoming book Kosmic Karma).

Our Being – from nondual through to physical matter – is a seamless whole, whether we see it as our human self or the whole world of phenomena (both possible). At the same time, we are free to add an overlay of abstraction to it and differentiate out various aspects.

One of the functions of chakras, as Motoyama describes it, is to transform/channel energy between the various layers of our being.

During my initial awakening, there was a tremendous amount of energy puring in – including to the physical/body level. There was a tremendous capacity for activity and engagement in the world, including very little need for sleep. It was pretty clear that the energy came from the awakening (F7-F9 and nondual), and Motoyama identifies one of the possible mechanisms for how this energy gets channeled and transformed through the system – including to the physical body.

In Wilber’s framework, we can maybe say that the energy got channeled from F8 (subtle) and down through to F1 (physical body). There was little to resist it, as everything – all those levels – were brought more into awareness.

Rushing Back In

Sometimes when I do inquiry, when there is a big shift in perception, there is also a corresponding energetic shift and also a sense of the whole world rushing back into me.

There is an untying of a knot in consciousness, which seems to be followed by a corresponding untying of an energetic knot.

And the whole world rushing back into me is (as it seems to me) the rushing back of my story of the world. I had it projected out there, and now realize that it is really all about me.

Deeksha & Subtle Energies

We went to the final deeksha weekend of our seven-month deeksha process (monthly gatherings), and it was quite amazing – as it usually seems to be.

Integral view on subtle energies

A couple of days ago, I also read the draft of the chapter on subtle energies from Ken Wilber’s upcoming book Integral Spirituality. He clarifies many things there that I have either picked up other places and/or had a sense of from own experience. Mainly that there is an energy component to each level from matter through to the causal, F1 through F9 in Wilber’s model.

At each level, there is an energy and a consciousness element or aspect, and they are mutually supportive and changes in one influences the other.

Through various forms of energy work – such as Indian and Chinese yoga and similar practices, we can change our consciousness at various levels. And through changing our consciousness – through for instance meditation and inquiry, their energetic components change at various levels.

Deeksha and energies

So with transmissions such as deeksha, it seems quite clear – as the people transmitting it say themselves – that the transmission work through the energy components at the various levels. It helps reorganize and restructure the energy field, possibly at levels F1 through F9, and this in turn impacts both our biological organization (at F1) and our consciousness. (It also seems that it functions as a seed, planted from even one deeksha and then unfolding on its own over time – according to the needs and circumstances of the person.)

This makes good sense when looking at the various typical effects of the deeksha transmission.

The general and typical (?) process seems to be…

  1. Growing sense of declutching (release from old stressful patterns)
  2. Deepening sense of intimacy with and no separation from the world
  3. Awakening to and as the witness. Shifting the sense of I from our human self to pure awareness, in which the world of phenomena arises including our human self. A sense of just watching our human self functioning as before, but not seeing any of it as personal or I.
  4. Shifting into a deepening nondual realization. Realizing that nothing has an inherent I in it, not our human self, not any other phenomena, and not even the Witness or the seer. This is an awakening to/as ground, appearing as all the forms in the world. Everything is revealed as God, as consciousness, as emptiness dancing.

My experiences

I received my first deeksha in the Bay area in June of last year, and experienced not much while receiving – but then empty light dropping into my body. The following day, I was absorbed into the Witness (F9). I found myself as pure awareness in which the whole world of form arouse – my human self and everything else. There was no identification with my human self, but still an identification as the seer of it all. This lasted for several days.

Some weeks later, it slipped into an early nondual realization. There was no I anywhere, not even as the witness or seer – just the ground in all its myriad forms, just emptiness dancing. And it was completely simple and ordinary. Nothing to write home about. It is an early nondual realization as it did not go through the sleep cycle.

This lasted for some weeks, and then shifted back to a vague/transparent sense of self. There is probably (obviously) more work to do there before the nondual realization can be more stable.

Throughout this process, there has also been periods of declutching, and also periods where quite a lot of previously unprocessed material has come up – in the form of illness (fatigue), vivid dreams, old stressful patterns and so on. It has been a good lesson in see, feel, and allow it to come and go on its own without getting too caught up in it, although that has happened as well.

The week after the initial deeksha, there were quite strong muscle contractions in the head and neck area. Each time I received distance deekshas in the following weeks (once a week), the same tension and pain came up, and then dissipated after the deeksha.

Initially, the deeksha energy seemed centered in and around the head. After some weeks, it droppen into the body. Also, at the beginning there was a sense of it coming from the “outside”. Then, again after some weeks, there was a sense of it just coming from space – from every point of space, pouring out from the ground everywhere – including within and from every cell in the body.

These are all relatively typical effects of the deeksha, although somewhat at the dramatic end of the spectrum.

Transmissions and integral practice

Here are some of the typical categories for an integral practice…

  • Physical (diet, activity)
  • Energy work (yoga, tai chi, chi gong, sat nam rasayan, etc.)
  • Shadow work (3-2-1, Byron Katie inquiry, etc.)
  • Relationship work
  • Meditation
  • Inquiry (Big Mind, Byron Katie, Diamond Path, Headlessness, etc.)
  • Engagement in the world (paid work, social & ecological engagement)

One that I sense may become more important and common in the future, obviously biased by my own experiences, is transmission – for instance in the form of Waking Down and deekshas.

Everything else on the list tends to be self-power type activities, and a more integral practice would also include other-power type activities, for instance in the energy realm through Waking Down and deekshas.

Five Elements

I did another five element acupuncture [2] treatment today, and continue to be amazed of how effective it typically is – in this case deep and solid.

In the five element tradition, they treat people on body, mind and soul levels. For people in modern society, often with an emphasis on the soul level, or the spirit in their terminology. In my limited understanding of it, this seems to be related to the sense of being on one’s path, following ones Tao, and the guidance, passion, sense of fullness and courage that comes with that.


Since my teens, I have been quite sensitive to energies, and for each needle I tend to experience the shifts quite clearly – where the energy moves in my body, and the effects at the other levels as well.

During the treatment today, I wanted to explore this a little further – also to learn more about it, so I described the effects of each needle as I experienced it. It turned out that the energy movements I described corresponded with the meridians, in direction and path. And the shifts at the other levels also corresponded closely with the intention behind the needling and the description and names of the various points.


Experiencing the effects of the different energy locations on the body, in daily life and through acupuncture, it is easy for me to see how the whole system originated: through people’s immediate experience. There is nothing mysterious about it. We all have particular gifts and skills, some are natural and great cooks, others are great in soccer, and yet others have a sensitivity to these subtle energies.

TCM and Five Elements

All modalities have their strengths and weaknesses. Each one work well in some situations and for some people.

At the same time, I cannot help having a particular fondness for five elements acupuncture. And what I hear from students and practitioners are similar. Those who went to a TCM school often describe it as draining and not quite as interesting as they had thought. Those I know who went to a five element school describe it as profoundly life changing, deeply nourishing, and among the best things that ever happened to them.

Causal Energy & Healing

I started reading the draft of the subtle energy chapter in Ken Wilber’s book on integral spirituality.

Not having read the whole thing yet, I am sure this will be clarified for me. But for now, I cannot help but seeing a relationship between a particular form of healing (energy healing, spiritual healing), and the energy component of the causal level.

In my teens, and during my initial awakening, I discovered that “I” could catalyze healing – by allowing space for healing and also to connect with the “ground”, or rather the level closest to it, what I later learned is called the causal level. And this seems very similar to what they do in Sat Nam Sarayan, which I recently discovered.

If there is a direct connection to the nondual level, to the ground, then nothing happens. What happens happens, and there is not really any change. But if there is an intention and a connection with the causal level, then healing can take place. The same is of course the case with the energy component at any other level, but the causal seems to be the one I most easily go to when allowing for healing – for myself or others.

There is an intention for healing there (relative), within the context of allowing what needs to happen to happen (absolute). There is my wish for a particular outcome, within the realization of how narrow my perspective is and that something else may be more appropriate. There is the prayer for healing, yet always followed by “Your will be done” – no matter what that may look like. There is intention and space. Direction and allowing. Seeking and humility. The relative and absolute.