Hara, energetic hole, scoliosis and endarkenment

I can’t remember if I have mentioned it here, but I have noticed for some time the relationship between energetic holes, physical problems, psychological tendencies, and now also the three soul centers.

For me, the main one is in the hara.

Since the initial awakening in my teens, I have been aware of an energetic hole in my navel area, specifically located at and near my spine. At the same area, I had a noticeable physical deformity as well, an odd stacking of the vertebrae diagnosed as scoliosis.

At the time, I did a lot of Tai Chi and Chi Gong, both because I wanted more grounding and embodiment, and also to fill up this region.

A couple of years ago, I found Breema which also specifically works with the Hara region, and I have experienced a great deal of fullness, warmth and nurturing in the belly from Breema. Slowly over these couple of years, the energetic hole has filled up, and the spine has reorganized so there is only a slight stacking oddity now (helped along with massage in that area).

With the more recent belly awakening, the endarkenment, there is a sense of a deep luminous velvety blackness and also a new level of nurturing, and a new feeling of everything as Spirit.

This feeling of everything as Spirit, and the reorganizing of the emotional level within the context of all as Spirit, was exactly what was missing in the initial awakening. The head and heart centers were awakened, but not (yet) the belly one. So although I saw, and even loved, all as Spirit, I didn’t feel all as Spirit. The emotions lived their own life, and there was a good deal of turmoil there, partly as a consequence of the intensity of the awakening and its implications.

So there was an energetic hole in the hara region, a physical deformity in the spine at the level just below the navel, and a lack of grounding and emotional turmoil.

This energetic hole then gradually filled in, the physical deformity reduced greatly, and then there was a sudden shift into endarkenment, an early belly awakening into feeling all as Spirit, allowing the emotions to reorganize to all as Spirit, and a new sense of deep nurturing and being held by the velvety luminous blackness.

It is also interesting to note that Hameed Ali (A. H. Almaas) writes about these things in ways very close to my own experiences (although from far more experience and with more precision.)

Law of attraction?

These days, there is a lot of local buzz around a movie called The Secret, apparently about the law of attraction

I haven’t seen it yet, but I can still explore some things that come up for me around the general topic of the law of attraction. (Slightly one-sided.)

Drawback one: relative truth only

The first drawback is an obvious one: the law of attraction only serves as one of many tools to get what our personality wants, such as comfort, money, career, a partner, and so on. Instead of money to buy it, we use the law of attraction. It is at best good for our human self, yet does not give ultimate satisfaction, contentment or happiness.

So it is of course fine to use the law of attraction to get things, just as we use money, attractiveness, status, power and whatever else we have available to get our way. The only problem comes when we think this will actually give us anything more than temporary satisfaction.

Drawback two: something is wrong!

Underlying the interest in the law of attraction is the belief that something is wrong: something is wrong with me, you, the world and/or God.

So if we use the law of attraction to set something right, according to our personality, we act from and reinforce this sense of wrongness. We deepen the groove of wrongness, the sense that something is wrong – with me, you, the world, God.

And with it, we fuel a basic distrust in the world as it shows up, as it is.

As usual, there is no lack of supporting beliefs for the core one of something is wrong. (A good one is God needs me to tell him/her/it how things should be.)

Drawback three: preferences from limited view

Another drawback, for me, is that I wouldn’t know what to ask for or set out to attract.

Whatever I set out to attract is what my personality wants. It comes out of a very limited view and understanding. And, yes, out of a basic mistrust in the world as it shows up on its own.

(More precisely, what I want and desire all comes out of beliefs. These beliefs that makes up my limited – and ultimately false – identity and large portions of this personality. Beliefs that, as we discover pretty quickly by inquire into them, have no basis in reality. A set of random and conditioned beliefs are identified with and taken as I, and then used as a guide for how to operate in life.)

The preferences of my personality is a poor guide for what to attract, which is clear even from the perspective of these preferences themselves.

My life is full of examples of things happening that my personality initially didn’t like at all. Yet these situations later appeared as exactly what I needed, as a great gift. And there are as many examples of getting what this personality wanted, which later appeared – to the same personality, as a misfortune.

It is difficult to know in advance what is fortune and misfortune. The same situation can appear either way, at any time, and it can change over time. It really just depends on the view.

Drawback four: my will be done

Reality, or God, is what serves up this human life. Who am I, as identified with the preferences of this personality, to think I know better?

Put another way, the law of attraction is another form of my will be done. But can I know more than God?

It is of course fine to live from my will be done. It is what we do when there are beliefs and an identification with our personality. It is just more of the same.

Drawback five: fear and the shadow

Another thing that can happen is that we become paranoid about what thoughts arise and which ones we put energy into.

As we discover quickly through meditation, if not much sooner, thoughts happen. They live their own life. They come out of the blue and vanish back into open space. They are a surprise guest or visitor, entering and then equally surprising leaving again. There is no way to hold thoughts back. They come on their own accord, and trying to filter them is a futile, and quite stressful and energy consuming, endeavor.

There may be the appearance of choosing which thoughts to fuel and which not, but that too really happens on its own.

So depending on how we are put together, if there is an attachment to the idea of the law of attraction, there may be a good deal of frustration and fear coming up as well. Oh, I thought about a car accident: that means I will get in one! I can’t think about anything dark, because it means it is more likely to happen, but these thoughts still seem to come in even if I fight them! Those people always talk about negative things, so those thoughts enter my mind as well, and will attract it to my life!

Sounds stressful to me. As soon as we go into these dynamics, what we feared has already happened…! I got into the law of attraction to find happiness and avoid unpleasantness, but it only gives me the unpleasantness that I tried to avoid, even before anything has been manifested.

If anything, what happens is that our shadow only fills up with more and more stuff, and become denser as well, less explored and invited into awareness.

The grain of truth: seeking those and that which agrees with me

What seems accurate about the law of attraction is that I have a set of beliefs, and then seek out people that agree with me and situations that confirms what I already know (that align with these beliefs).

So, as I did during some years in childhood, I believe I am unlikeable, and seek out people who agree – and don’t like me! They may not like me, but they at least agree with me – they don’t upset my worldview, and that is more important.

I believe I don’t deserve money, so act accordingly to make sure I don’t get too much of it. I believe I deserve abundance, so act in ways that brings money into my life.

I believe people are mean, treat them from suspicion, and then respond by withdrawing and acting in ways I interpret as mean. I believe people are friendly, act in a friendly way towards them, and receive friendly responses.

Our belief system permeates our whole life: it forms our outlook and worldview, it informs what we notice and don’t notice, it fuels emotions and behaviors. We act as if our beliefs are true, which makes them appear true to us. We look for and collect evidence for these beliefs. We interpret what happens according to these beliefs. And we act in ways that makes them appear to come true, including in the ways listed above.

So in that sense, there is a “law of attraction”, but there is nothing mysterious about it. It is commonplace, what we notice and live from daily. This form of law of attraction is simply that we live as if our beliefs are true and we live to make them appear true, so it tends to be a self-fulfilling prophesy. This is also widely known from mainstream psychology.

This garden variety form of self-fulfilling prophesy already permeates our lives, so there is no need to make it into anything more weird. At the same time, it seems that weird explanations for simple things helps people bring attention to it, so in that way it may be helpful for them.

If people become aware of and start question their beliefs, even if they do so from an unusual starting point, then why not?

Integration: intention and surrender

There is also a possibility for an integration here, which is what I tend to do in my own life.

I may set an intention, and even visualize for something to occur, yet within a context of Thy will be done, a context of surrendering to what happens as the will of God, of reality.

Also, as beliefs are questioned there is a natural shift from my will be done to Thy will be done.

The preferences of this personality becomes less important. Thoughts are revealed as just thoughts, questions more than statements about the world. Whatever happens is OK, and then more than OK.

Planting Seeds

Since my teens, I have noticed how planting seeds allows, or at least invites, certain fruits to come up.

When I read C. G. Jung profusely, in my late teens and early twenties, I had a long series of text book Jungian type dreams. I planted the seeds of a Jungian view and framework, and the mind responded by using this framework to bring things into awareness. I experienced it as a beautiful play and dance between my conscious focus (Jung’s approach) and the Other, the subconscious, interacting with and responding to whatever was happening consciously, allowing more to be seen, acknowledged and integrated into the conscious view.

The same is the case for insights in general. I may have a question, and plant it, simply, with no drama, and some days, weeks or months later, an insights surfaces on the same topic.

And the same seems to be the case in yet another way. There seems to be a readiness to work on or through a certain issue, I plant the seed of asking “let me see what I need to see for this to resolve” or “allow whatever needs to unravel to unravel for this to resolve”, and this too seems to happen within days, weeks or months, peeling off layer after layer.

What appears as I and Other here is of course within the same field, the same tapestry of phenomena, all having the same Ground of clear awakeness. Which seems to be why this works. It is just another form of the dance of existence, movements within seamless whole, beyond and including what temporarily appears as I and Other.


The Byron Katie inquiries overlaps in many ways with approaches I have used in the past, and also many other approaches out there.

A brief overview of how the Byron Katie inquiries seem to correspond with other approaches.

Question number…

  1. Is it true?
    Awareness of the discrepancy between opinions and reality.

  2. Can you absolutely know it is true?
    Awareness of how abstractions are always only relative truth, unable to touch any absolute truth. Awareness of the limits of knowledge.

  3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
    Psychotherapy (exploring how we are apparently screwed up).

  4. Who would you be without the thought?
    Shikantaza. Big Mind process (Big Mind/Heart, nonseeking mind). Headlessness. Atma Vichara. Mindfulness based psychotherapy.

  5. Turnarounds
    Projections. Shadow work. Everything and everybody are mirrors for myself. Awareness of abstractions as only relative truth, unable to touch any absolute truth.


Happiness has been the new big research subject in psychology for a while now, and it is interesting to see how it fans out in the spectrum from correlating happiness with external factors to seeing happiness as entirely internal. Of course, it is all valid in different ways.

External factors

There is a correlation between some external factors and happiness, because we all tend to have the same stories about what is desirable in our lives and what is not desirable. There is obviously also a correlation between physiology and biochemistry and a sense of happiness.

How we deal with life

There is a stronger link between how we deal with life and happiness. In western psychology, this is the area of cognitive therapy and similar approaches. This is about as far as western psychology takes it currently, unless it is influenced by Buddhism or similar traditions.

Here, we find an emphasis on coping strategies, how we interpret situations (cognitive therapy), our expectations (cognitive), how we find meaning in life (existential and humanistic psychology), and similar.

Gratitude and being with

Somewhere between these more conventional western approaches and the more sophisticated – mystical – ones, is the mid-ground approaches recommended in some spiritual traditions, such as gratitude and being with whatever is experienced.

Gratitude is recognized as a way into happiness, as promoted by Tibetan Buddhism, some western psychologists, many self-help books (they do often have valuable suggestions), and even Oprah Winfrey(!).

And then there is the unraveling that comes from being with whatever is experienced. This is another way into contentment and a sense of bliss, independent of the content of experiences.

Unraveling beliefs

Finally, we find the strongest link between beliefs in general and happiness, or rather a link between unraveling beliefs and contentment and appreciation.

When I look into it, it seems to really be about contentment – being content with what is, finding peace with what is. And also about appreciation, of what is – of how life, God or Spirit unfolds. This is the area of the mystical traditions and of approaches such as the Byron Katie inquiries.

As we unravel beliefs, we first find contentment with what is. We find peace with our life. Then, as we go further, we first taste and then may realize selflessness, and realize that it is all God, it is all Ground manifesting. And in this is a new appreciation for all there is, no matter how it shows up.

This form of contentment could be called happiness, although it is not dependent on life showing up in a particular way. And this form of appreciation could be called bliss, although that too is steady and not dependent on circumstances.

From dependence on how life shows up to not

This list – from entierly external to entierly internal, also mirrors the path as it may unfold for us as individuals.

The general progression here is that of dependence on how life shows up to an absence of this dependence.

Initially, our happiness is at the mercy of how life shows up externally.

Then, we develop various coping skills which modifies the impact of these circumstances – including gratitude and being with whatever is experienced. These typically need some effort or attention to be developed and applied.

Finally, in the realization of selflessness, contentment and appreciation is independent on how life shows up. It is all manifestations of Spirit or Ground, emptiness dancing, it is all God. The only condition here is that of the realization of selflessness, which – when it finally pops into the foreground – is free from any need of effort and attention.


Here is a selection of articles on happiness, from Psychology Today only…

Grateful for Today – Living in the present

The Hidden Side of Happiness – happiness through adversity

Opening to Happiness – Buddhist view

Secrets of Happiness – meaning

Happiness in East & West – cultural differences

Buying Happiness – money

Prescriptions for Happiness – chemistry

And more – keyword search on happiness

And from BBC…

Happiness Formula

The Science of Happiness

And happiness at Wikipedia.

Psychology & Spirituality

No new insights here either, but it is interesting to see the natural convergence of psychology and spirituality. Of course, in Buddhism and other traditions there was never any split. But there has been a split in the western culture, for the last couple of hundred years, and this is now seen as not needed anymore.

One way of integrating is to acknowledge both realms as legitimate and using different techniques for each. Another is to use approaches which in themselves span both the realm of traditional psychology (the psyche, the body/psyche whole, the human self) and spirituality (transcendent).

The Big Mind process is a good example, allowing for untying knots on a personal level and becoming more familiar with the transcendent realm, all in one process. The Byron Katie inquiries is another, again untying knots at the personal realm, allowing the nature of mind to gradually be unveiled. And then there are forms of contemplative psychotherapy, and for instance the Raphael Cushnir approach of being with what is – getting out of the way for the knots to naturally untie themselves and reveal the nature of mind.

Intrapsychic & Intradivine

There is a fascinating parallel – and progression – in the awakening to Big Mind.

First, it can appear intrapsychic. Then intradivine, or whatever we want to call it.


We can have a taste of Big Mind, and interpret it as all intrapsychic.

If we have even moderate psychological sophistication, we realize that our experience of the world all happens – well, in our experience of it. The tree may be out there, but the experience of the tree is right here, in my awareness. So everything, no matter what it is or how far away it is, comes alive in my awareness, right here. It is obvious, as many including Kant has pointed out.

So Big Mind, this experience of everything arising within and as awareness – or consciousness, or mind – can easily be interpreted as intrapsychic. At least in our early excursions into explorations of Big Mind, our early tastes and glimpses of it.

At this level, it quite easily fits into the view of modern psychology. There is nothing really remarkable about it. It all fits into our modern models of the psyche. It is just a slightly different twist to it.


As we continue these explorations, we may have a taste of something else.

Suddenly, it doesn’t all appear intrapsychic anymore. That is too narrow. Now, it seems that the whole world of phenomena – the outer and inner world to our human self, all arises from the same ground. And not only in our personal awareness, but in the divine mind.

What we initially took as our personal awareness, is now revealed as the divine mind – that which the whole world of phenomena arises within and as. And it always was like that, although our filter of “I” made it temporarily appear differently.

The whole world of phenomena, this human self and the universe, is consciousness – as it is, where it is. It all appears as a play of forms within the divine mind, within and as the mind of God.


The beauty of this is the gradual progression, allowing us to test the waters initially and gradually become familiar with it.

And it also allows those used to a modern western worldview to enter the water and try it out, without seeing it as too esoteric and far out. There is, after all, a way to interpret it that fits our modern western model quite nicely.

Then of course, we may be taken into it a little further. And our modern western worldview shatters, or at least gets expanded quite a bit – into the realm described by the mystics.