I sometimes use words like oneness, love, bliss, capacity, and so on.
How do these appear in my own immediate noticing? In what ways do they relate to each other?
OUR HUMAN SELF
In a conventional sense, we are a human self in the world.
It’s not wrong, although it may also not be the whole picture.
What are we more fundamentally, in our own first-person experience?
What do I find when I look, perhaps guided by some pointers or basic meditation?
In basic meditation, we may notice that all content of experience is always changing.
Am I most fundamentally something within this changing content of experience? This human self? Any idea of being a me or I or observer or consciousness?
Or am I more fundamentally capacity for all these experiences?
How is to keep noticing this aspect of what I am?
How is it to live from this noticing?
When I find myself as capacity, I also tend to notice that the world as it appears to me happens within and as what I am.
I can also explore my sense fields, and find that my world happens within and as my sense fields. And from here, there is a small shift to find that my world happens within and as what I am.
My nature is oneness. It always was, it just didn’t notice.
In my first-person experience, this human self and the wider world happen within and as what I am.
WHY DON’T WE ALWAYS NOTICE OUR NATURE?
Why don’t we always notice this?
Perhaps because of the way our mind relates to its own overlay of thoughts and ideas on the world. Thoughts and ideas differentiate, and that helps this human self orient and function in the world. And when the mind holds some of these thoughts and ideas as true, it identifies with the viewpoint of these thoughts and ideas.
And this creates a sense of an I and Other. It creates a sense of being something or someone within the content of experience. It creates a sense of most fundamentally being this human self with identities and roles.
It creates separation consciousness.
DIFFICULT TO PUT INTO WORDS
This is difficult to put into words.
Not because it’s mysterious or we don’t have words for it.
The function of thoughts and ideas is to point to something within the content of experience, and this is not anything within the content of experience.
The function of thoughts is to split and differentiate, and this is what allows it all and takes the form of it all.
It’s difficult to put into words because the function of words is different. Words cannot capture the simple wholeness of what we are since they are aimed at describing things within the content of experience. Their function is to split.
How does love come into this?
Love is what happens when we live from noticing what we are.
Love is what happens when oneness notices itself and lives from this noticing through and as this human self in the world.
It’s a love inherent in what we are, and it’s not dependent on any states or feelings. (Apart from noticing what we are and aiming at living from it here and now.) It’s the love of the left hand removing a splinter from the right. It’s a pragmatic love.
This will always be somewhat imperfect since it’s filtered through this human self with its remaining hangups, wounds, traumas, and so on.
There is a quiet bliss in noticing our nature and what we are. Or, more accurately, in what we are noticing itself.
I am not sure where this bliss comes from. It seems inherent in what I am.
Perhaps it’s the quiet joy in our nature noticing itself as all there is.
For most of us, most or all parts of our psyche is formed within separation consciousness. They are formed at a time when we take ourselves to most fundamentally be a separate human self.
So when we notice our nature and keep noticing it, our human self is invited to transform.
The different parts of our psyche are invited to shift from separation consciousness to oneness.
This is not always a pleasant process. It involves meeting – seeing, acknowledging, feeling, allowing – all the different parts of us operating from separation consciousness. And this includes what we label hangups, wounds, and trauma.
It’s not necessarily what we, as an imagined separate self, thought we signed up for. But it’s what we get, and it’s ultimately what allows us to live from noticing our nature in a more free, clear, and mature way.
HOW DO WE NOTICE?
How can we explore our nature? How can we find what we more fundamentally are in our own first-person experience?
What I have found most helpful is…
Basic meditation. Notice and allow my experience as it is here and now. Notice it’s already noticed and allowed. Aligned with the noticing and allowing that’s already here before any intention or stories come in.
Headless experiments. What am I in my own first-person experience? What do I find when I engage in these playful and simple experiments?
Big Mind process. What do I find I am when my attention is guided by a series of simple questions? Do I find I am without any beginning or end? That time and space happen within and as me? That the world as it appears to me – this human self, the wider world, and anything else – happens within and as what I am?
Sense field explorations. What do I find when I explore what happens in each sense field? What do I find when I see how the mental field (mental images and words) labels, interprets, and creates stories about what’s happening in the other sense fields? How is it to be aware of the mental field activities as innocent questions about the world and not any final or full or absolute truth?
Living inquiries. What do I find when I explore how the mind associates certain sensations and thoughts (mental images, words) so the sensations lend a sense of solidity, reality, and truth to the thoughts, and the thoughts give a sense of meaning to the sensations? What do I find when I trace this back to my first memory of experience a specific association? What do I find when I explore underlying assumptions and see how my mind creates its experience of those? What do I find when I explore the most basic assumptions – about myself and reality – that I operate from?
Note: I wrote this on January 8, 2022, and didn’t publish it. I found it while searching for something else and thought I would publish it now. (I often don’t publish what I write here.)Read More