This is a variation on an often revisited topic for me, in these writings and in my life since my teens.
When it comes to exploring our own nature – and what we are to ourselves, in our own first-person experience –there are several shifts that can happen.
The main ones are from conceptual understanding, to direct noticing, to finding ourselves as it. And through it all, we have living from all of this as best we can and inviting our human self and psyche to transform within it.
CONCEPTUAL UNDERSTANDING
We can have a conceptual understanding of our nature and what we are to ourselves, in our own first-person experience.
If presented in a down-to-earth way, it can make logical sense to many if not most.
Some may find it fascinating but of no practical value and nothing to keep exploring. Some may find it fascinating and continue to explore it conceptually, and that won’t bring any real or thorough transformation. Some may use it as a starting point for a more immediate exploration. And some may first notice or find themselves as their nature, and then explore and express it more conceptually.
And any conceptual understanding is refined through our own familiarity with the terrain, and that’s also what grounds it and keeps it real.
DIRECT NOTICING
Then we may directly notice our nature. We notice it in immediacy.
We may notice our nature as capacity. Our nature is capacity for the world as it appears to us. It’s what allows any and all of our experiences to happen. It’s the nothing that allows all things.
We may notice that the world, to us, happens within and as what we are. Any experience – of this human self, others, the wider world, and anything else – happens within and as (what a thought may call) consciousness.
We may notice we are oneness and the world, to us, happens within and as this oneness.
We may find that another word for oneness is love. This is the love of the left hand removing a splinter from the right. And it comes from noticing and finding ourselves as our more fundamental nature, and it’s not dependent on states and feelings.
With some structured pointers, many if not most can notice this, and it can happen relatively quickly. Some will think it’s too simple and look for something else that fits their preconceived ideas. Some will find it interesting but not be drawn to explore it further or explore how to live from it. And some will get t and continue to notice and clarify and explore how to live from it in daily life.
In my experience, Headless experiments, the Big Mind process, and exploring my sense fields are practices that most effectively help me find and notice my nature, along with basic meditation.
FINDING OURSELVES AS IT
Following this, there may be a shift into finding ourselves as capacity, oneness, and so on.
Our metaphorical center of gravity shifts into being our nature. This is what we already and always are, and now our conscious experience of ourselves is more aligned with our more fundamental nature.
These shifts are always grace. We cannot make it happen, although we can prepare the ground through noticing and clarifying and through our sincerity and receptivity. We can also prepare the ground through simple practices like inquiry and basic meditation.
It seems that there is always more to clarify and more to be revealed. Life keeps revealing more of itself to itself through and as us.
LIVING FROM IT
And through it all, we have living from what we notice or what we find ourselves as.
How is it to live from noticing my nature as capacity and oneness?
How is it to live as capacity? As oneness? As love?
How is that expressed here and now in this situation?
What in my human self needs to heal and mature so I can live more fully from and as this?
Living from and as our nature is greatly supported by inquiry and heart-centered practices, and also following some basic ethical guidelines which help us notice when we are out of alignment.
In general, the more our human self is psychologically healed and mature, the easier it is to live from what we notice – or find ourselves as – in more situations and areas of life.
HAPPENING WITHIN AND AS ONENESS
All of this is happening within and as oneness.
In a purely conceptual understanding, oneness takes itself as primarily this human self and doesn’t notice itself or its nature. It may have an intuition or sense of what it is, which fuels an intellectual curiosity.
When there is a direct noticing, oneness still operates from identification as a separate self and the center of gravity is in this identification, while it also notices its own nature.
Finally, oneness rests in finding itself as oneness. Love rests in finding itself as love. Capacity rests in finding itself as capacity. The center of gravity has shifted more into its more fundamental nature.
INDIVIDUAL PROCESS
How this looks is different in each case. This process is as individual as each of us.
Sometimes, the conceptual understanding is first and sometimes it comes after some of the other shifts.
Sometimes, we explore living from and as this through different spiritual practices before there is any direct noticing or taste.
Sometimes, the noticing or being is far ahead of living from it. While others may live from love and clarity based on a good heart and maturity, and perhaps only an intuitive sense of their nature.
ONGOING PROCESS
There is always further to go in all of this. There is no finishing line.
We may intentionally explore all of this and put effort into it. And anything that happens – any interest, fascination, exploration, guidance, and anything else including apparent setbacks – is ultimately grace.
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