Content of conversations

When I was in my teens and early twenties, I wanted “deep” conversations on topics I saw as big and important. (Integral approaches, systems theories, deep ecology, Jung, Steiner, Fritjof Capra, Buddhism, Taoism, different forms of meditation and prayer, how the different spiritual approaches compliment each other, the universe story, sustainability etc.)

Now, I am very happy with simple conversations about apparently small things.

There are several reasons for this shift.

Back then, I wanted and felt I needed to explore those topics more in depth. It was the right time for it.

Now, I am more content with the love and connection that’s there in small talk and I find it very beautiful. Now is the right time for this.

I also see that back then, there was a compulsion for me to explore those topics. I wanted to create a certain image for myself, I wanted to feel that I was doing something important, and I wanted to escape certain feelings. (I was aware of it then too, but chose to follow the compulsion. And I can’t say I regret it since it was rewarding, and benefits me still to some extent.)

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I have been reminded of this recently:

Some folks are used to conversations that reinforce beliefs and velcro, including stressful beliefs.

Others tend to meet what’s here with love and gentle inquiry.

I notice both from myself, and see I sometimes slip into one or the other depending on who I am with. (Even if I slip into the former, I am aware of what’s happening and that it’s not comfortable, and I usually go into the second on my own afterwards.)

That’s why I am even more grateful for having friends in the second category.

It’s such a relief to have conversations about what’s going on with both of us, and taking time to meet unloved parts with love, and unquestioned stories with gentle curiosity and inquiry.

Thank you to KL, AH, CL, MET, SF and others.