As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.
– Eckhart Tolle
This quote is medicine for a condition. It’s medicine for the idea that we need to work on inner transformation for it to happen. It’s medicine for holding onto that position too tightly.
And that means that while the quote is accurate, it’s not the whole picture.
Yes, creating a space for grace and love to enter is what allows for a deep transformation and healing. This happens most deeply when we notice our nature, notice ourselves as oneness and love, and notice and allow anything in us that needs healing and transformation and holds it within this space of oneness and love.
And yet, we can also do a few things to support this process and help unlock some of the locks that hold wounds and identifications in place.
We can identify and explore painful beliefs and identifications.
We can identify and find love for unloved parts of us.
We can dialogue with wounded parts of us. Hear what they have to say and how they perceive us and life. Ask what they need from us. Help them recognize reality. And so on.
We can intentionally explore noticing and allowing our experiences, including of wounded and unhealed parts.
We can notice that these, and all our experiences, are already noticed and allowed and more consciously align ourselves with this primal noticing and allowing. They are already noticed by consciousness before that’s reflected in an intentional noticing. And they are already allowed – by mind, space, and life – even before any intentional allowing. This noticing and allowing is built into our nature. We cannot avoid it.
We can invite in shifts in the energetics of the hangup, through different types of energy work and inner yoga.
And so on.
The quote is not wrong. It’s medicine for a condition. And it’s not the whole picture.
And that applies to just about any quote and pointer.