Treat our experience as we would like to be treated

How would I like to be met when I am distressed? With kindness, patience, and presence. Listened to. Given full permission to be exactly as I am in the moment.

And that’s how the distressed parts of me want to be treated by me as well.

If they are treated with avoidance, disrespect, and wanting it to change, it only reinforces the struggle and suffering.

If they are met with kindness, patience, presence, then they tend to relax and soften.

These distressed parts of my experience are just like me. They want to be treated as I would like to be treated when I am in distress.

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Treating myself as I wish others would treat me

The golden rule can be reversed and still makes as or more sense than the original.

Treat yourself as you wish others would treat you.

How can I treat myself with that kindness? That’s a life koan, and one that can be grounded in several different ways.

For instance, I can use a simple practice as a stepping stone. I can say to myself – or a contracted or suffering part of me – I wish you love, I wish you ease. Or I can use another form of Loving Kindness practice, or tonglen, ho’oponopono, holding satsang with it, or mentally placing myself in the heart flame.

Over time, this will transform how I relate to myself. And that will transform how I relate to others and the world.

In this way, applying and living the reverse of the conventional golden rule turns into applying and living the conventional golden rule itself.

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