Tag: healing experience

Healing experience: awake and not healed

moe 1 Comment

I have a decades-long friend who is on an awakening path, mostly within the Christian tradition, and she is reasonably awake and mature. More than most that I know or have met.

She has cancer, and I did some healing for her a couple of days ago.

What I noticed was that the cancer and most of her system seemed awake. It was clear, light, and conscious.

When I explored what I could do for it, it seemed that I could invite the divine to support the awakening of her system, while moving in the direction of more traditional healing seemed difficult. One path was wide open, and the other was not.

I got the sense that when she works on herself, she prioritizes awakening over healing, and that also fits how she recently has talked about her situation. My question is whether her orientation makes it difficult for a more traditional healing to take place, or whether there is something larger going on here. The answer is probably both. In either case, it seems that life there – locally and temporarily as her and the cancer – is on a deepening awakening path more than a healing path.

It possible that with more time from my side, things could shift more in the direction of traditional healing. I am not sure. And I am also unsure if that’s appropriate in this situation.

This is a reminder of a few different things:

Things can be awake and not healed. A cancer can be awake. The divine can be awake to itself as cancer. And it doesn’t mean it shifts and heals.

Sometimes, awakening takes priority to healing, for whatever reason. Sometimes, it’s the reverse.

And sometimes, awakening and healing go hand-in-hand. They support each other.

On a surface level, it depends on the person and their orientation – which often is influenced by culture and whatever tradition they are in.

Ultimately, it comes down to what life – and the divine – wants to experience locally and temporarily, through and as that person.

And even if there seems to be mostly one or the other, we can usually invite in the other as well. If that happens, then that’s what life and the divine locally and temporarily want to experience.

Mostly, this is a reminder of the mystery of it all. I don’t know any of this for certain.

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Vortex Healing experience: Connecting with underlying fear

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In these days of pandemic isolation, I am aware of the part of me that struggles with being unable to do as much as I would like. This part of me has been a frequent companion since the chronic fatigue returned more strongly a few years back.

Yesterday morning, I noticed a shift in how I experience this struggle. In the past, I have experienced it as frustration. Now, I experience it as fear. I can connect with the fear behind the struggle, and that feels like a relief and – in a sense – a coming home. It’s more true that it’s fear, and connecting with the fear allows something in me to relax.

I also noticed that I already know the truth of the situation. For instance, that the frustration comes from “shoulds” in me and do not reflect reality. I can more easily align with this truth and don’t have to go into the frustration.

I enjoyed this shift and explored and stayed with it for a while. It didn’t seem to be connected with any particular or recent healing work so I assumed it came from a maturation that had happened mostly below the surface over time. (Which is certainly part of it.)

When I mentioned this to my partner in the evening, she said “I did the choice points for that issue for you yesterday, while you were asleep, but I forgot to mention it. Sorry!”. We had talked about doing the choice points for it the previous day although I assumed she hadn’t done it yet since she hadn’t mention it.

Her not mentioning it was perfect. It allowed me to see the effect of removing the choice points without being influenced by knowing it had been done. In this case, removing the choice points allowed me to connect with the deeper feelings and beliefs under the earlier surface expression, and it also allowed me to more easily align with the truth of the situation.

Choice points – as described in Vortex Healing – are energetic structures created when the divine decides to have a certain experience for itself. In this case, frustration over not being able to do as much as I would like. At higher levels of Vortex Healing, these can be unraveled in relatively short time.

I add a few words about what I have noticed about this frustration: It comes when the underlying fear is not noticed. It comes from beliefs and identities telling me I am not good enough as I am and that my value comes from my activities. There is a fear of not being good enough or valuable enough in the eyes of others, existence, and the divine.

And it’s innocent. It’s something I adopted from others early in life.

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Dream: Finding new close relatives (after healing work the night before)

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I have found two close family members from a previously “blank” part of the family tree. One is a little older than me, the other a young man. They are both black. I experience a deep and easy connection with both. We are traveling together and are now in an art museum while we also talk and get to know each other better.

We talk briefly with another small group of people and I first assume they will think we are three generations out together. Then I remember they are black and I am white. And wonder how we can be as closely related as we are while looking – to others – so different.

I am now aware it’s a dream and I feel sad and disappointed that it is a dream. I tell the older man and he nods knowingly in agreement.

In the dream, I don’t find it odd at all that I am so closely related to a black family – until I am aware that others will assume we are not at all related. I have a, easy, strong, and deep connection with both, and especially the older man (who looks like a slightly older version of Pharrel Williams – of Happy fame). It seems that we are in the US but that doesn’t play much of a role in the dream.

A former blank area on my family tree is now filled. I have found my klan and I feel a deep sense of belonging. And they both happen to be black. (I am 80% Scandinavian and 100% northern European.) We could easily have been three generations of the same close family – grandfather, father, and son.

What do I associate with African (black) people and culture? Mostly, I associate an inner freedom, spontaneity, and connection with the body, nature and Earth. (I know this is not always the case. African cultures are very diverse and people of African decent living other places – and often with slavery in their linage – may be different. But this is my main association.)

The night before this dream, I received healing work (Vortex Healing for choice points) for some central family patterns. Specifically, for not speaking and standing up for myself, burying my inner warrior and beast, and not following my inner guidance. These are patterns mostly from my father and my father’s lineage, and my two new relatives in the dream are both men – one older (who could be my father) and one younger (who could be my son). These represent another way of being. New close relatives. People I feel a deeper resonance with.

As I wake up, I am sad that it was a dream and not waking reality. I then remember my partner next to me and that I have a similar deep connection with her. (And that she has a portion of black ancestry.)

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Dream: I am five years old, giving a message to people trying intimidate me

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I am five years old and in our house with my parents. I know something that can be dangerous for some criminals. In the middle of the night, they come and pretend to be phantoms with lights and ghostly sounds. I shout at them and tell them I know who they are, what they try to do, and that it won’t work.

In my dream, I am myself at five years old. My parents are in the house and are the age they were when I was five. The house is different and is more spacious with a very tall ceiling. (The lights they use to scare me shine on the ceiling and on the top of the walls through windows up by the ceiling.)

While I dream this, I yell in my sleep, bark three times, and wake up my partner. (The barking may have been to scare off the bandits.)

This was the night after receiving a Vortex Healing session for my kidneys. They sometimes feel a bit cold, dry and shriveled up energetically, perhaps because of an Epstein-Barr infection (mono and then CFS) that lasted more than thirty years before I had the Vortex Healing tools to remove the virus. We both noticed that a lot of fear also seemed to release from the kidneys during and after the healing.

I slept very deeply and long, for almost twelve hours. I also slept restlessly with many dreams that all felt a bit foreign. It felt like my system was releasing a lot, probably from the kidney-healing just prior to falling asleep.

In the dream, I know what’s happening, is not very scared, and yell at the bandits that I know what they are doing and it won’t work. Also, my parents in the dream are whole and emotionally healthy. (In waking life, although they both are very kind and supportive they have some issues as we all do.)

It may be that fears that used to seem very real to me now don’t because I see through them. It may also be that I have healed – to some extent – my inner images of my parents. I have worked on parental issues in different ways, including through dialogue with them where I visualize all of us as whole, healthy, wise, and kind.

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Vortex healing experience: after a healing session

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Each Vortex Healing (VH) session is different – depending on the VH tools we use, the focus and intention for the session, the recipient and what’s going on for them, and probably much more.

I thought I would share my experience yesterday with receiving a VH session. It’s not necessarily typical (this doesn’t happen following each session) and it’s also not atypical (nothing was really that surprising).

I received a VH session using Bioelectric Flow (a VH tool) with the intention to work on what will most effectively allow me to heal from the chronic fatigue (CFS). I felt the energy – the Bioelectric Flow has a distinct quality – working in my head, and especially in the center of my head and where the brain meets the spine. (This was also the experience of the healer.) It felt strong, as the previous two Bioelectric Flow sessions have been.

Following the session, I noticed the energy continuing working on my brain. I went to bed early (8pm), slept for a couple of hours, and woke up with a lot of anger in my system. This is, most likely, suppressed anger that the healing session allowed to come to the surface and be seen and felt. I had the intention to notice and allow the anger energy and also notice and allow the old suppressing pattern without engaging in it.

For the next one or two hours, I stayed in bed and noticed and allowed whatever was coming up, and also had periods of strong shaking, trembling, leg and arm movements (running and hitting), and vocalizations. All of this helped ground and release the energy coming up in my system.

In the beginning, I felt everything – myself, the world – as waves and energy. Then, I experience myself as an energy being without boundaries. And then, as boiling liquid without any boundaries. After a while, and especially after shaking and trembling a few times, the sense of my physical body returned more and the “boundary-less energy” feeling relaxed a bit.

After I sensed that this process was mostly over, I got up and had something to eat and drink, went back to bed, slept for about nine hours, and woke up feeling good.

This process was made easier – and especially being with and allowing what surfaced was made easier – by sharing bed with my partner, physical touch, and she understanding and supporting the process. We even got some good laughs from the intensity of the shaking and movements that sometimes happened for me.

From the beginning of the return of the CFS (about ten years ago), I have sensed that it had to do with my brain and nervous system and that my brain and nervous system needed healing. I have also sensed that the CFS has to do with feeling off track, people pleasing, me leaving my inner guidance on a major life decision some time earlier, and suppressed anger from the people-pleasing and leaving my own guidance. During the session, the energy worked on my brain and the brain/spine connection, and after suppressed anger surfaced, so it happened to fit two of the main things I sense needs to change for a real and deeper healing to take place.

I should mention that I am able to give myself VH sessions (I am at MG level), but it’s sometimes easier to receive from someone else, and – in this case – the specific VH tool I wanted to use is in a future class for me so I needed to receive it from someone else.

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Vortex Healing experience: birds at night

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Since Vortex Healing is the modality I explore the most these days, I thought I would share a few everyday snippets of experience related to Vortex Healing.

When I took the my first Vortex Healing class (Foundational) in April 2016, I was in Rancho Mirage in Southern California. The night before traveling to the class, a large flock of birds settled in a bush right outside my open French doors and – loudly and enthusiastically – sang and chirped in the middle of the night. It started perhaps at 2am and went on for a long time. It was very unusual – I have not experienced anything like it before or since – and it seemed like a kind of synchronicity.

Starting on the Vortex Healing path was a new chapter in my life and the remarkable experience with the singing and chirping birds in the night seemed to mark the beginning of this new chapter.

Since February that year, I received several VH sessions from a senior Vortex healer. And for about a month before this first class, I very clearly noticed the VH energy working on me. Mostly when I was already quiet and resting, mostly in my head, and especially in my temples and the third eye/sixth chakra area. It seemed that the divine energy worked on me in preparation for the class and this is a not uncommon experience for Vortex students.

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Everyday experiences with Vortex Healing: Fixing divine lines

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Ale and I were at Vangen near our cabin and a group of handicapped people had lunch at another table. After a while, I went outside, saw them leaving, and decided to use Vortex Healing to fix their divine lines.

I should mention that divine lines go through the spine and through each of the major chakras, and they feed the chakras and the energy system. They can weaken or “break” through physical or emotional trauma or stress, and if they do it has a big impact on the system. With Vortex Healing, it’s relatively easy and fast to fix them.

When I intended to have the divine fix their divine lines, I noticed that the energy didn’t run and their lines seemed bright and shiny. I realized that Ale must have worked on them during lunch, and when I asked she confirmed it.

This is just one of many daily examples that shows me, and other Vortex healers, that it works. I may write more everyday examples here in future posts.

Photo: From a brief hike to Tonekollen in Østmarka, Norway

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Vortex Healing story: Weight regulation

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My partner has wanted to lose some weight, and this spring received a Vortex Healing session for it from another Vortex healer. It helped her regulate her appetite and reduce her weight. This fall, she had a period where she found herself again struggling with her diet and weight, and I gave her a Vortex Healing session to help her regulate her appetite and weight. It seems to have worked quite well. She says she is able to keep her calorie intake down relatively effortlessly and she is loosing weight by the day.

I am on the other side of this coin. I have tried to put on weight off and on for several years without much success. Strength training combined with increased calorie intake hasn’t done much for me. (I have never been underweight in a medical sense, but have wanted to put on a few more kilos.) It seems that my body has had a set point that’s a little lower than I would like. This spring, I did a couple of Vortex Healing sessions for myself to change the set-point and be able to put on a few kilos. And I found myself effortlessly putting on kilos this summer and fall. I am now, for the first time in my life, at a weight that feels much more comfortable to me. There is a bit of padding that seems to help my bodymind relax more deeply.

In both cases, Vortex Healing seemed very helpful in setting a new set-point for the body’s weight and in helping with weight management.

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Vortex Healing story: Fear of dark

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I thought I would share some Vortex Healing examples and stories.

Here is one from my own life: As a kid, I had some fear of the dark and especially when I was at the cabin. It’s by a lake, in the woods, far from the city, and without electricity. It’s a natural and common fear to have as a kid. (The tendency to be afraid of the dark is built into us through evolution.)

As an adult, I have noticed traces of this fear of the dark, and most noticeably at the cabin. If I went out in the dark at night, I would notice – and remember – the fear.

While at the cabin his summer, I did a few minutes of Vortex Healing for myself on this fear. Afterwards, I noticed it felt more neutral to go outside in the dark. That wasn’t in itself surprising. It’s what I would expect based on my experience with Vortex Healing. (It was a relatively isolated and not so strong fear, so it didn’t take long to clear.)

What was surprising happened on my next visit to the cabin. I went outside in the dark to go to the outhouse and noticed a whole new experience. Not only was the fear gone. But in its place, I experienced the animals and plants around me, and a deep sense of being part of the natural community. I was a natural part of life.

I assume this experience may have been there the whole time. I do often experience it in nature. But it had been covered up by the fear. With the fear gone, attention was available to notice this deeper sense of connection and aliveness.

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