Israel & Palestine: Hurt people hurt people

The drama in the Middle East keeps unfolding. These days, with the horrific attack by Hamas on civilians in Israel, and the response by Israel inflicting larger-scale horrors on the Palestinian population in Gaza.

Why is this happening? It’s obviously very complicated.

And yet, the essence may not be that complicated.


The essence is that hurt people hurt people.

The Jewish people have undergone a lot of traumatic experiences throughout history, including the unimaginable horrors of the holocaust.

The creation of Israel displaced or made a minority out of the non-Jewish people living there. (Of course, the Jewish people deserve and need their own country, but it still has consequences. Nobody likes to be displaced from their own country or be made into a minority.)

Since then, Israel has engaged in ongoing human rights violations and violations of international law. They got away with it because the US and large portions of the international community largely have turned a blind eye to it.

The Palestinians have been hurt for decades by this treatment. They respond to this hurt and mistreatment in different ways, often through silent suffering. And some of them respond with violence. What Hamas did is not surprising. And the equally horrific response by Israel is equally predictable.

Many have hurt the Jewish people throughout history. The international community hurt Arab people by creating Israel. Hurt Israeli people continued to hurt Palestinian people over the decades. Some hurt Palestinian people hurt some Israeli people. Hurt Israeli people respond by hurting Palestinian people even more severely. This hurts new generations of Palestinian people who, likely, will continue to hurt Israeli people. The cycle of violence continues.


Trauma creates fear and this fear is often expressed as anger and reactivity, and sometimes by hurting ourselves and others. (We cannot hurt others without hurting ourselves, and the way we treat others is a mirror of how we treat ourselves.)

This happens everywhere in human life – in ourselves, in families and other small groups, and in large groups and politics.


How do I know about this? It’s not just because it’s been part of my training and work. It’s because these dynamics play themselves out in me and my life as well. The world, as it appears to me, is a mirror of me. I am a mirror of the world.

And how do I respond?

A part of me wants to speak up for the Palestinians – especially the civilians living in Gaza in a horrific situation – since they are the underdogs in this situation.

More essentially, I see traumatized and scared people hurting others and themselves and responding in confused and very understandable ways.

More essentially, I see myself in what’s unfolding.

Even more essentially, I tap into love for all of us and all life, as confused and hurting and amazing as we all are.

Image by me and Midjourney.

Note: When I hint at the history here, I know reality is far more complex. For instance, the creation of Israel was messy and complicated, as is the history of Gaza.

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A heartache comes up, with an image of a situation from my early twenties.

I thank it for being there. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for being there for me.

Thank you for supporting me. For wishing the best for me. For being devoted to me.

Thank you for loving me. For being love.

I love you.

I am sorry. I am sorry I have pushed you away for so long. I am sorry for having seen you as an enemy.

I am sorry for having made you into an “other”. I am sorry for not recognizing your love, your devotion to me.

I am sorry for not having recognized you as Spirit. I am sorry for not having taken that recognition seriously, to heart.

You have permission to be. You have permission to be here.

You don’t have to change. You can be here, as you are.

You already have permission to be here, before “I” say yes or no to you. And now you have my permission as well.

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Session with Barry – Core Hurt

I scheduled a session with Barry to explore the core hurt I have noticed behind any reactivity (any beliefs, resistance to fear) that’s here. My words and experiences are in italic.

Core hurt, keep revisiting and revisiting, until the groove in the record gradually heals.

Ask to be taken to the seed, the root of the core wound.

I sense the deep integrity you have, I think you are pretty much out of the woods now.

Feel your desire to be taken back in space and time, regress back to the moment where the next piece of this core wounding occurred.

My mother, thinking/trusting she was there for me and she wasn’t, rejected me somehow. Feel dizzy, not grounded, stunned. The muscles in my calves tighten. She was a big part of my world, almost my whole world, and she wasn’t there for me.

Drop into the feeling, the emotional charge.

Anger. Hurt. Disbelief. Shaky. Numb. It’s safer to be numb. Feel it in my heart area. Raw. There is a decision to not fully be here. Uneasy feeling in stomach. Tightening jaw (anger). My sense it it happened very early. She may have been there physically but not otherwise, rejected me somehow. She had more than enough with her own life at the time.

There was a real need there, and that need not being met. See that your mother wasn’t able to be there. She was too full of her own considerations to be there, fully connect with you. It’s not rejection. She didn’t say “no” to you, or that she didn’t want to be there for me. She was too busy, too full of her own issues. Bring us full circle, give ourselves what we didn’t get. Otherwise, never ending search for the mother that wasn’t there, and we never get it, not from any woman, it doesn’t happen. Just end up playing the initial drama of the wounding. This is the final door out. You give up. There is no woman, no idealized woman, who can give you that or heal that for you. It can be a little bit of shattering experience, because so much of the self was built up around it. Now what. What is the purpose of relationship now.

God is love. Love is all there is. I am that.

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A sense of hurt

I keep noticing how there is a sense of hurt behind any sadness, frustration, anger and reactivity that comes up. It seems that it’s all pointing back to that sense of hurt, and that it comes from very early childhood. I bring it into ho’oponopono. Stay with it as a friend. Open my heart to it. (Whenever I remember, and am not caught up in resistance to it.) I also ask for guidance, and to be shown what I need to see about it. Where does it come from? What are the beliefs and fears behind it?

It seems very young and primal. The images and thoughts I notice revolve around injustice and unfairness, and a sense of powerlessness. I notice it gets triggered when situations don’t go “my” way (the way I think it should go, what I think would be good for me), when I see injustice and unfairness in the world (what I tell myself is unjust and unfair), and when I feel powerless and unable to change or “fix” a situation (I tell myself needs to be fixed, and needs to be fixed by me). There are also some images of being very young and feeling that my parents or life is unfair towards me, and feeling powerless. I also see I don’t feel as supported by my parents as I think they should.

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