tagged: chronic fatigue, illness
Tag: illness
The gifts in our life: challenging situations as a laboratory for humanity
I talked with a friend who has long-covid and she mentioned that she doesn’t feel so useful anymore.
We have infinite worth and value independent of what we can do in the world. Just by being, we have that infinite value.
And having a chronic or serious illness can help us learn and see things that can be infinitely valuable to ourselves, those close to us, and society as a whole. We are in a unique position to learn and discover certain things.
WHAT WE MAY DISCOVER FROM LIVING WITH CHRONIC OR SERIOUS ILLNESS
We may discover the importance in asking for help, and asking so others feel free to answer from an authentic yes or no.
We may discover the gift in allowing others to give. By asking for help, we allow others to give, and that can help them feel valuable. (If they do it from an honest yes.)
We may discover our intrinsic interdependence. Our human life wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for the lives of innumerable other humans and other beings, living now and in the past.
We may discover our own authentic yes and no, and find freedom in giving our yes or no.
We may find a more honest and authentic way of being with ourselves and living our life.
We may be more honest and vulnerable with those around us.
We may find the value in rest and taking care of ourselves.
We may find the value and richness in a simple life.
We may find a high quality of life within our current limitations.
We may discover that what we thought were our limitations are not.
And then some more….
We can identify and examine old identifies and beliefs that don’t fit anymore. We may have put our worth on what we could do, and when we can’t be as active anymore, where is our worth? Can I find value, worth, and meaning in my life as it is now?
We may turn to something beyond our human self. We may find a sense of belonging with family and friends, and nature and even all of existence. We may engage in different forms of spiritual practice.
We may find a more kind way of relating to ourselves, our experiences, and life. We may shift out of struggle and into befriending our experiences and life. (And that can mean we relate with more kindness to people in our life as well.)
AN INVITATION
None of this is inevitable. A lasting challenging situation can bring us deeper into struggle, grief, anger, resentment, blame, and so on, if that’s the direction we go. And we probably will go into some or all of that at different times in the process. That’s not wrong. It’s understandable and innocent. And through that struggle, we may see the consequences of that approach and that it doesn’t give us what we really want.
We may find there is another way. And if we live with a chronic or serious illness, or another limiting situation, there is an invitation there. An invitation for each of us to discover a more kind way, which may include some of the things listed here.
CHALLENING SITUATIONS AS A LABORATORY FOR HUMANITY
A chronic or serious illness, or other lasting challenging situations, is a laboratory for ourselves, as outlined above.
And it is, in a very real sense, a laboratory for humanity.
When we humans are in these situations, what do we discover? What insights can come from finding ourselves in this unique position? How can these insights help humanity as a whole?
MY OWN EXPERIENCE
I live with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and have had Lyme disease, so life put me in a situation where I was invited to discover this.
I have struggled, still do at times, and I have parts of me ready to engage in struggle at a moments notice.
At the same time, there is another part of me that wants to find a more kind way, and I explore that because it feels better.
Note: I am sharing what I discover on this website, so I am passing on my discoveries to humanity – at least to those who happen to find these articles. And I can also be better at asking for help. This blog costs money to maintain, and I have limited income due to my chronic illness, so if it gives you joy, donations are very welcome and received with gratitude. Use the link or the yellow donation button to the right. Thank you!
Healing work: differentiating factors that initiate, maintain, and support healing from the illness
When we work on healing, it can be helpful to differentiate factors that initiate the illness, maintains it, and supports healing from the illness.
These three groups of factors sometimes overlap and sometimes are different from each other. For instance, if we identify healing factors, it doesn’t mean those are the same as the ones initiating or maintaining the illness (although they may be).
Simple vs complex illnesses
When the illness is simple, acute, and relatively well understood, the three types of factors may be more or less the same. I get an infection. It’s maintained by the bacteria. And the healing comes from eliminating the bacteria – either through allowing the body to take care of it or using antibiotics.
When the illness is more complex, chronic, or less well-understood, differentiating the three may be helpful. The maintaining factors may be different from the initiating factors, and we may need to address both. Also, we’ll often need to take a holistic approach and focus on supporting our body in its healing process in any way possible, independent of the specific initiating and maintaining factors.
Not jumping to conclusions
I sometimes see people working in alternative healing modalities confuse these. For instance, with a complex and chronic condition, it can be helpful to work on any emotional issues that create stress and this is one component in supporting the body in healing itself. That, of course, doesn’t mean that any one emotional issue created the illness or was even a (major) component in the onset of the illness. It may be, but it also may not be. We often don’t know, and for healing purposes, we may not need to know.
Similarly, if we know what caused a chronic illness, it doesn’t mean that addressing other things isn’t helpful for the healing. Often, we need to take a holistic approach
My own experience
I am perhaps especially aware of the importance of differentiate these three types of factors because of the chronic fatigue (CFS) I have had at varying levels since my teens.
In my case, the initiating factors may be a combination of genetics, mononucleosis (Epstein-Barr virus), teenage stress (social anxiety), and possibly mold (I lived in a basement apartment). When the CFS returned strongly some years ago, it was likely triggered by another infection (pneumonia) combined with mold and possibly stress.
I am not sure what the maintaining factors are although stress, an overactive flight/fight/freeze (FFF) system, diet, and climate are likely to each play a role.
When it comes to the factors supporting healing, some address possible maintaining factors and some support the body in healing itself.
In the first category, a priority is to remove any Epstein-Barr virus still in the system, reducing stress and supporting the FFF system in normalizing, changing the diet to (mostly) avoid processed foods and foods I have an intolerance to, and – as much as possible – spend time in a sunny, dry, and warm climate.
In the second category, I have found the following helpful: herbal medicine (mostly large doses adaptogens), get plenty of rest and sleep, learn to listen to and take seriously the signals from the body, supporting and strengthening my energy system, and working on any emotional issues creating stress and possibly preventing healing. One of the things I haven’t wholeheartedly focused on yet is detoxing.
The gifts of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)
Yet another revisited topic:
For me, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) has come with many genuine gifts.
Of course, it’s important to acknowledge all the challenges that come with it. CFS and any chronic condition can bring up grief, anger, struggle, threatened identities, and unresolved issues. And it can lead to loss of work, relationships, money, status, and so on.
But we also have to acknowledge the genuine gifts that can come with CFS to get a fuller picture. These are gifts we may intentionally notice, explore, and even pursue (at least in periods where we have some energy besides what’s needed for basic daily tasks).
Here are some I have found for myself:
It has helped me with my spiritual practice.
From putting effort into my practice, I have found ways that are far less effortful. For instance, even when I did Shikantaza practice (“just sitting”), I put more effort into it than I needed. Now, I am happy to just notice, allow, and rest with what’s here. And that’s a more genuine way of doing this most basic meditation or noticing practice.
Also, since I have been more raw in periods, due to the CFS, I have been able to notice, meet, and inquire into unloved and unexamined parts of me that previously didn’t come as much to the surface.
Earlier, even if I saw all as Spirit, at a more visceral level I tended to associate Spirit – or at least awakening – with certain feelings and states (even if I knew that wasn’t the case). Now, I am able to more viscerally experience what’s here as Spirit including what’s challenging and uncomfortable. (This is still a process, I imagine it will continue to deepen.)
I have explored and delved into a range of new (to me) practices. I have to admit that this has been my tendency my whole adult life, so I probably would have done that anyway. Although the sense of urgency has perhaps been a bit stronger because of the health-related challenges.
It has given me time. And I have used this time to: Rest. Spend time in nature. Explore and investigate the topics I write about here. Explore and investigate other things in life that I tend to not write about or write less about. (Since I want to keep this blog somewhat focused.) Find deeper healing for my relationships with the world, others, myself, and my life.
It has come with an invitation to drop facades and be more honest with myself and others.
I have learned something about how it is to face challenges in life. In my twenties, I often had the thought that life was too easy. Now, I know something about going through challenging periods of life.
I have learned about a range of new (again, to me) approaches to healing, including some I may have been less interested in otherwise. For instance, herbal medicine, therapeutic tremoring (TRE), and Vortex Healing.
I have found a deeper appreciation for the simple things in life: a cup of tea, resting, friends, family, nature. I always appreciated these, but it’s different now.
I have found a way to often be genuinely content, and with a deep appreciation and gratitude for my life as it is.
Of course, it’s not all a dance on roses. There are still daily challenges. I sometimes get frustrated when my body doesn’t play along as I think it should (most recently today). I sometimes get annoyed and sad when I consider the many losses connected to health challenges. I sometimes get angry when things are not as my mind thinks they should be. I still sometimes have fear or concerns about the future. I sometimes feel embarrassed when I consider how others may see me. I have small flashes of envy when I see someone living the life I did or thought I would at this time in my life. But all of these experiences are part of being human. They are here to protect me, and they come from deep care for me. And they do happen within and as what I am. And there is often deep gratitude for my life as it is, including all the challenges.
Simplistic assumptions: emotional issues and physical illness
Some like to think there is a one-to-one correspondence between certain emotional issues and certain physical illnesses. Or, at the very least, some like to present it that way.
Why are people drawn to it?
It can give a sense of hope and control, and something to do about a serious issue.
Since all emotional issues are on a scale, we can always find any one issue in ourselves if we look.
Sometimes, there may be some truth to the apparent connection.
And, sometimes, someone will work on a specific emotional issue and the apparently corresponding physical issue clears up – for another reason.
What are the potential drawbacks?
We may blame ourselves. For instance for the emotional issue or for being unable to change it.
We may put time and energy into resolving an emotional issue that has little or nothing to do with the physical illness. (This, in itself, is not a bad thing if it doesn’t take away from other approaches.)
In the worst case, we may neglect other approaches that could be more effective.
What seems more accurate?
First, reason and experience suggest that a one-to-one correspondence between specific emotional issues and physical illnesses is overly simplistic. Life is more complex and varied than that.
At the same time, it seems clear the emotional issues can create physical weaknesses and susceptibility to physical illness. For instance, in a general sense, we know that’s true for stress or feeling lonely.
And sometimes, a specific emotional issue may indeed be connected to a physical illness. It may be one piece of the healing process puzzle. Other times, there may be little or no connection.
So what may be a more reasoned approach?
In general, it’s good to take a holistic approach.
What can mainstream medicine do? What can other – perhaps more leading-edge – medical specialists do?
What can we change in diet, environment, or activity to support healing? How can we change our life to support healing, including finding social support, more sense of meaning, and reducing stress?
And, yes, does there seem to be an emotional issue behind the physical illness, and what happens if we find healing for it? (Vortex Healing is the approach I have found that seems to best do both of those.)
As usual, there is most likely some grain of truth to the emotional issue – physical illness correspondence, at least to some extent and in some cases. And it’s good to take a whole picture and more grounded approach.
Note: I know I have taken a devil’s advocate approach here. In reality, most people will look up what books etc. suggest about what emotional issue is behind their physical illness, take it with a grain of salt, check in with themselves to see if it seems likely, do something to find healing for it if yes, and still do whatever else they would do to find healing for their physical illness. It’s just one of many components, and for most people not even the most important one.
Illness as retreat
It seems not uncommon for people in a “spiritual emergency” to experience illness, which in turn may function as a form of retreat.
In some cultures, they recognize the symptoms of a spiritual emergence or emergency, and support it in various ways, including through retreats. In our culture, there is often not such an understanding, so illness may sometimes serves that function instead. It’s what’s possible for us, so it’s the direction life takes. (The lack of understanding of – and support for – these types of processes, may in itself contribute to fatigue and illness.)
The purpose of a retreat is to remove us from our daily routine, the business of daily life, and allow us time and space for meeting what’s already here.
And that’s exactly what an illness can do, and perhaps especially fatigue. (Which seems a typical symptom for some in a certain phase of a kundalini or awakening process.)
An illness allows us a retreat setting. It allows unmet, unquestioned and unloved things to surface in us, so they can be met, loved and examined.
And some of the things surfacing will, most likely, be about the illness itself. An illness is often perceived as a threat to some of our most cherished identities.
March Ian Barasch: In illness, you’re suddenly not yourself anymore
In illness, you’re suddenly not yourself anymore. The question is: Are you going to cling in panic to some idealized self that no longer exists? Or are you going to cross the threshold and acknowledge that you’re on a journey, though you don’t know to where? You haven’t chosen it, but now you’re different in some way. This is one reason physical illness shows up as a turning point in so many spiritual biographies or as the catalyst of shamanic initiation. It’s a profound shock to the system. It dislodges you. You look in the mirror, and one of the unfortunate ill stares back. But in a way, you could say that disease also abrades away, painfully, all of these superficial ways in which we judge our worthiness, even life’s worthiness. Our worthiness, as in: “Am I strong, beautiful, competent, undamaged goods?” Or life’s worthiness, as in: “Life is good only when it makes me happy, or aggrandizes me, or favors my enterprise.” But who’s bigger, you or life?
by Marc Ian Barasch