Rest and digest

When we follow our inner process, it can sometimes bring up some challenges in how we relate to others and the world. 

For instance, for me, it’s important to take in all the information I can about a situation, try out and get experience with it to the extent possible, and allow it all to rest and digest and see what decisions surface. 

“I” am not making the decisions. It’s not happening intellectually. It’s a decision that emerges. And when it does, it feels right and is in flow and ease.

I also suspect that since the world is always in change, it’s difficult for these answers to emerge a long time before an action is going to happen. 

The challenge for me is that the world is not always set up this way. People and systems sometimes expect us to come up with a decision right away. Or a long time in advance, for instance when it comes to travel and plane tickets. 

The upside of this is that it can bring up unexamined beliefs and assumptions in me, which I can then identify and explore and find what’s more true for me.

Intuition

Here are a few things I have noticed about intuition:

When I follow my intuition in small things, it becomes a habit and I learn to trust it more. That makes it easier to follow it in bigger things or when fear makes it more challenging.

Following my guidance or not is an experiment in either case. If I do it in this situation, what happens? If I don’t do it in this situation, what happens? Make a note of it.

When I am guided to do something I am scared to do, a few things may happen.

(a) I may follow it anyway, in spite of the fear.

(b) I may meet the fear, question the scary stories behind it, find kindness and love for the fear, and then see if it’s easier to act on my guidance.

(c) Or I may follow the fear and not the guidance.

In either case, I get to see what happens.

What I have noticed when I follow my guidance or inner knowing is that things tend to fall into place. And if I don’t, then the opposite often happens.

I am using intuition here synonymous with inner guidance, inner knowing, or the small quiet voice.

Guidance

A few things about guidance.

The simplest is to ask myself and wait for an answer. It may come right away or some while later. And it’s usually clear, simple and kind. What a wise person would tell me.

Another is the guidance that comes for me in the turnarounds. Life should help me –> I should help me. By making a list of how I want life to help me, in which areas and with very specific and practical examples, I can turn this around to myself and see how I can help me. This is a guidance for how to live my life.

When I don’t follow these types of guidance, it’s often because I believe certain thoughts that stop me from living it. What am I afraid would happen if I follow my guidance? What do I find when I look into these beliefs?

A related exploration here is what happens, how is it, when I follow this guidance? What happens, and how is it, when I don’t? In my experience, following the guidance gives a sense of ease, of being held by God, of being on track, and it feels kind. When I don’t follow the guidance, there is a sense of stress, discomfort, and of being (temporarily, in a limited sense) off track.

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Quiet voice

Over the last few weeks, I have woken up with a quiet clear voice nudging me to ask a particular person for assistance. Since it didn’t quite fit with the preferences of my personlity, I have ignored it and put it off as much as I could, until today when I woke up with the same voice and finally acted on it.

I am familiar with that quiet clear voice, and when I act on it, it always feels right even if it does sometimes go against the preferences of my personality.

The voices of beliefs have a certain quality of compulsiveness and fear. Yet this voice has a very different quality, and it’s advice is always sane, wise and kind even when it seems a little odd at times, and when I act on it, the outcome is sane and kind as well.

I also notice that if I don’t act on it, it returns over and over until I do, and if I put it off for too long and miss the opportunity to act, there is a sense of something being off.

I know that many traditions talk about this quiet voice. As long as it seems sane, wise and kind, even in a conventional sense, why not act on it?

And if I notice reluctance to act on it, I can notice the belief that prevents me from doing so, and inquire into it to find what is more true for me.

Following ones heart, and discomfort

I went to a mini-retreat today with a woman Adya has asked to teach. Among her many very helpful pointers was this one about following ones heart and discomfort. It is slightly elaborated on from own experience.

If the small quiet voice (my intuition, heart) tells me one thing, and I do something else (usually because of a strong belief), there is naturally discomfort. I am out of alignment with what I know, somewhere, is the right choice of action in the situation. In my experience, this feels like the depth is wrong, even if the surface looks OK. The discomfort here is not only a reminder to follow the voice, but also comes from wearing away resistance to following the voice – the beliefs preventing me from following it in certain situations.

Also, when I do follow the quiet voice, there can sometimes be discomfort. I follow the voice, the action clashes with my familiar identity, and there is discomfort. As above, this discomfort comes from wearing away of identities and beliefs. But here, the depth is experienced as OK and the discomfort is more on the surface.

This is all happening within and as what we are, in both cases. It is all perfectly OK. It is just that following the quiet voice, and allowing identifications to be worn off by following it, is usually more fun as who we are – as human beings in the world.