Tag: jes bertelsen

What would I do if I was on my own?

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I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), and that means I need to be extra diligent in following my inner guidance, especially with resting, drinking, eating, and so on.

When I am on my own, I notice and follow my inner guidance and take care of myself. My energy level becomes more stable, I can do more, and I don’t tend to crash.

And when I am with others, I sometimes forget or ignore my own signals and what I need to do, and I tend to crash more often.

So I have a task when I am with others. I can ask myself: What would I do if I was on my own? Would I rest? Drink? Eat something? What would I do? And then do it, even if it’s not what the others are doing, and even if a part of me may be afraid of judgment or that they will feel rejected. (The best is usually to explain to them beforehand that I have a chronic illness and need to take care with resting, eating, and drinking.)

This reminds me of a guideline from Jes Bertelsen: When you are with others, be as if you are alone. And when you are alone, be as if you are with others.

Sometimes, we do things while alone we wouldn’t do with others. (Often, quite innocent things.) For instance, I may eat a whole bag of tortilla chips or several dessert servings at once. And sometimes, we do things with others we wouldn’t do if alone. In my case, I may ignore my inner guidance when it comes to rest, water, and food.

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tagged: currently, inner guidance, jes bertelsen, own health   

When with others, as if alone

moe Leave a comment

When I am alone, I can imagine I am with others and see if that changes anything. Would I behave differently? And when I am with others, I can imagine I am alone and see if that changes anything. Would I behave differently? Would I be more authentic? More free?

This helps even it out, and although we obviously still would behave a little differently just because the setting is different, it helps us find a more even keel and a more authentic way of being in both settings.

This is a little practice I remember Jes Bertelsen suggested in a book I read in my teens or early twenties, and it’s been in the back of my mind since.

tagged: jes bertelsen   

Heart practice

moe Leave a comment

Draft… 

I am reading a book by my favorite spiritual teacher, Jes Bertelsen, on Christian heart practices, and it helps me review some of my own experiences with it and how it has changed over time.

One thing that has not changed is the quality of experience that comes from Christian heart practices for me. The heart opening and coming alive. An alive presence within and around this human self. A sweet mix of pain and bliss in the heart. The world becoming, or rather revealing itself, as alive presence, heart, clarity and love. And also of everything else having to do with the heart, whatever their triggers appear to be, being included and fueling and flavoring the process. Any longing, any pain, any joy and bliss. All together, funneled into the heart practice.

What has changed in how it is related to. There used to be more identification with it, a holding onto it as a core of spirituality and spiritual practice. The qualities of heart practice is content of experience, and for years there was an attachment to this particular content, probably more than anything else.

Then came the dark night phase where this content, which was a constant companion for so long, went away. And in the struggle, the attachment to it somehow wore away as well. (Not by any conscious doing or practice, since I was unable to do any practice during this period, even when I tried.)

Now, when I do occasionally do a heart practice, the same quality of experience is there. The same quality of the heart coming alive, the fire, the alive presence, the sense of the world – all within and around this human self – being heart, clarity and love. And I still see how the human self realigns and reorganizes within this, in a very beautiful way.

But it is not related to the same way. Now, it is recognized more clearly as just experience, just content of awareness, coming and going, living its own life as anything else. There is an appreciation for its uniqueness and effects, but not held onto the same way.

For all its beauty, its reorganization of the human self, its opening up for heart awakening, and even possibly Ground awakening, it is also seen as just experience. There is an inherent neutrality in it, as anything else. All of its qualities and effects are, in a sense, formed from and within neutrality.

And while there was from the beginning a seeing of this, now there is also a thorough felt-sense of it.

tagged: heart, jes bertelsen, neutrality, practices