Tag: noticing

Awakening is a habit

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Waking up is a habit.

Waking up happens any time we notice what we are. And this only happens here and now.

Any memory of past noticing is a reminder to notice now. Any idea of future noticing is a reminder to notice now. And any idea of “permanent” awakening is a reminder to notice now.

Over time, this noticing can become a new habit.

And to us, it happens here and now and any idea of time and habits happen within and as what we are.

Awakening as noticing vs shift in center of gravity

I realize I should add something.

The essence of awakening is to notice what we are, and make it into a habit.

There is another side of this, and that is about our center of gravity. What do we take ourselves to be without any effort to notice or shift anything?

For most people, it’s in who we are, in our human self, because that’s our identity and what we are familiar with.

When the spontaneous out-of-the-blue awakening happened in my teens, the center of gravity shifted into Big Mind and oneness. That made what I am easy to notice. It was always here and still is.

If our center of gravity is in who we are and we notice what we are and make that noticing into a habit, then our center of gravity will naturally shift more into Big Mind and oneness.

It’s natural and healthy to have some fluidity here. Our center of gravity is naturally somewhere between who and what we are. And in any one situation, we can shift more into finding ourselves as Big Mind or our human self.

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When realization appears as philosophizing

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When we notice what we are, and put it into words, it can seem like philosophizing to others.

If they don’t have a reference from their own direct noticing, it looks like words that don’t point to anything. They see it as just words and philosophizing.

If they notice what they are, or even have a memory of it, then it’s different. Then, they recognize what it points to and that it points to a direct noticing and realization.

When realization appears as philosophizing

Say we notice what we are. We find ourselves as capacity for the world, and what our experiences happen within and as. And we put it into words. We talk about it and how it is to live from it, to the best our ability.

To us, these words come from direct noticing and experience. We may try to talk about it as simply, clearly, and directly as possible.

It’s not so easy since words differentiate and this is about something that’s beyond what’s differentiated. And the way we do it will inevitably be colored by our culture, background, and how we have heard others talk about it. We may even slip into a bit of philosophizing if we go beyond direct noticing and experience.

To others who don’t have a reference for this, it easily appears as philosophizing. The words don’t relate to their own noticing or even a memory of past noticing, so the words inevitably appear as words and philosophizing without any real-life reference. It can easily be taken as fantasy and imagination.

To others who have a reference, it’s clear where it comes from. They recognize that it comes from direct noticing and living from it. They recognize it from their own noticing or even a memory of a past noticing.

Why put it into words?

So why even talk about it?

It’s a question I sometimes ask myself. Why do I write here?

I do it mostly for myself. It helps clarify a few things for me, and it helps me further notice and explore.

And I also know that it’s sometimes helpful for me when others put what they notice into words. It’s a reminder to notice. It can be a pointer for noticing different aspects of what I am. It’s a pointer for exploring how to live from it. It encourages me to keep exploring all of this. And it’s interesting to see how others put it into words.

For some, hearing about this may trigger curiosity and an interest in exploring this and finding for themselves what they are. If that happened just once, that in itself would make it worth it.

So although this is perhaps the most personal type of exploration, it’s also shared. We share what we find with others, and that helps all of us in different ways.

And I am sure that in some cases, we notice what we are, explore how to live from it, and don’t see any need for putting it into words. And that’s beautiful too. In a sense, it’s more honest since this cannot really be put into words. We can at most, and imperfectly, point to it and offer some practical guidance.

Some of my own experiences

When the initial awakening happened in my mid-teens, I didn’t know or know about anyone else who had the same realization. I had been an atheist with some interest in parapsychology. I lived in a small town in Norway. And this was in the pre-internet era. So it wasn’t easy to find anyone else.

For several years, I didn’t talk about it because I knew it wouldn’t resonate with those around me. But I did explore books to see if I could find someone who had the same realization and had put it into words.

The first one I found was Meister Eckhart, in a book in the main library in Oslo. I still remember standing in front of the shelf, looking at an old book with blue library-style cover, and realizing that this guy got it too. It was covered up in Christian terminology and ideas, but behind it was clearly a direct noticing.

Later, I went to the Tibetan Buddhist center in Oslo, and noticed that if I spoke from my own direct noticing and experience, it was typically perceived as if I referenced something from a book. Perhaps the ones I talked with didn’t recognize it for themselves, so they automatically thought it was from a book? I had many of that types of interactions in the following years.

There were two I met who got it, and where we immediately recognized it in each other. One was a woman I met in a tai chi class and who is still a friend. The other was the then-wife of Jes Bertelsen when she held a couple of courses in Oslo. I also saw that Jes Bertelsen clearly got it, and loved his books.

When I got to the Zen center in Salt Lake City (Kanzeon Zen Center), I could see that the main teacher got it, and also several of the junior teachers. Here, I felt that the tradition got in the way of a more human-to-human connection. When Genpo Roshi developed the Big Mind process, it all got to be more immediate and more free of tradition, and it was exciting for me to find a way to share the noticing with others through a relatively simple process.

Even some years later, I discovered Adyashanti and Byron Katie, and this was the first time I felt a real kinship. These two clearly got it, and they expressed it in a clear and direct way free of tradition. A few years later, I discovered Douglas Harding and the Headless Way, and that was the same experience.

To this day, these are the ones I feel the most kinship with.

I also saw that many Advaita and Neo-Advaita folks got it, but again it seemed caught up in ideology. I found a lot that was interesting and useful there, but it didn’t resonate as much with me as Adya, Katie, and Douglas Harding. Too often, they seemed to favor the “absolute” at the expense of the wholeness and living from it in the world. That’s completely valid and I am grateful someone is taking this approach, but it doesn’t resonate so much with me personally.

I almost forgot that in my teens, while still in Norway, I discovered Ken Wilber’s “No Boundaries”, and that immediately became one of my favorite books and I read everything I could find by Wilber, including his new books as they came out. I also loved the books by Fritjof Capra. And I completely loved Taoism and read everything I could find – I Ching in the Richard Wilhelm translation, the Taoist classics, Mantak Chia’s books and exercises, and a lot more. In my teens and early twenties, I also got deeply into Christian mysticism and the Christ meditation and Jesus/Heart prayer. And in my early twenties, I discovered the “Overview Effect” by Frank White. Through all of this, I found a virtual community of people with insights and realizations that resonated with me.

If I am honest, it’s been a quite lonely process. When I talked with Adya some years ago – in private for a couple of hours – I realized how much I missed someone who got this. There have been people, but they have often been in a teacher role and not friends. And there have been people who got it but cover themselves up in tradition so there is less of a direct expression and connection. Fortunately, I now have a partner who gets it, and that makes a big difference.

After all, although we are capacity for the world, we are also a human being in the world. And as that human being, we seek companionship and people we resonate with.

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Notice vs realize

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In spirituality, people sometimes talk about realization or realizing our true nature.

I tend to avoid using realize in that sense.

Why? It’s mostly just a personal preference.

The word realization can come with some baggage and misleading associations. It’s a word that can be taken to refer to something we figure out within thought. And although thoughts can play a role, that’s not really what it’s about. For the same reason, we can also take it as something we realize once and for all and then it’s done. Of course, the traditions and teachers who use the word realize point this out as well.

I prefer the word notice, to notice what we are. It suggests it’s immediate, fresh, and direct, and suggests it doesn’t have to do with thoughts. It also seems simpler and more ordinary, which is appropriate since what’s noticed is the most ordinary (no) thing there is. It’s what we are and are the most familiar with, even if we don’t consciously notice it.

At the same time, realize has useful connotations notice doesn’t have. For instance, one definition of realize is to become fully aware of something and understand it clearly. It goes beyond just noticing and suggests that it needs to be seen and understood thoroughly, and even lived thoroughly. This is, of course, something we can clarify when we use the word notice.

I don’t have a strong preference here and I have no trouble with people using realize. It’s just that notice resonates with me more right now, and it may change.

Note: Since I mentioned the role of thoughts earlier, what is the role of thoughts in this context? Thoughts can serve as a pointer for noticing what we are, for instance through guided inquiry. Thoughts can reflect what we notice and find. And thoughts can also serve as a pointer for how to live from it and perhaps avoiding some of the pitfalls (although we often have to get our own experience with those pitfalls).

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Noticing and labeling experience

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Notice and labeling our experience is more used in mainstream psychology these days, and it’s also a traditional practice in Buddhism.

Here is the general practice:

Notice what’s here. And give it a label.

This label can be very basic: A thought, sensation, sound, sight, taste, smell.

Or it can go a little further in interpreting what it is: A man, woman, sadness, words, mental images, discomfort, and so on.

As an emergency measure to help us deal with discomfort and distress, we can approach it in a few different ways, and a combination can be most effective.

Notice the emotions. Label the emotion(s). Anger. Sadness. Joy. Elation. 

Notice the overall experience. Label it. Overwhelm. Compulsion. Reactivity. Distress. 

Notice the thoughts, the mental words and images. Words. Mental images.

We can do it for a set period of time, perhaps once or twice a day. This functions as a laboratory and testing ground so we become more familiar with how to do it and what it does for us. Noticing and labeling become more familiar to us, and that makes it easier to bring it into daily life.

In daily life, we can do it specifically when we notice an experience that’s stressful, uncomfortable, or distressing to us. Sadness. Anger. Compulsion. Words. Mental images.

This creates a distance to whatever we notice, and label. And that makes it easier to relate to it more intentionally and a little more dispassionately.

It goes from an I to an it. From subject to object. From what I am to something that’s here.

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Always coming back to here

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I have noticed a slight disappointment recently. I have done and experienced a great deal, but always return here – to what’s here. It’s as if it all didn’t happen.

As Adyashanti points out, there may be a reason it’s like this. There may be a few different reasons, depending on how we see it.

What’s here, this, is the one constant. What any experience happens within and as – aka consciousness, awakeness, presence etc. – is the one constant. It’s what’s here independent of any particular experience or state. It’s what we are and everything is. It’s also what has the potential to create identification as as something within it’s content, for instance this human self.

Any past experiences or accomplishments are gone. They are here only as a memory. An image or thought, sometimes connected with a sensation. They are truly gone.

Any identity, anything we see ourselves as, similarly only exists as a mental image or thought sometimes connected with a sensation. We may have built up identities and roles through past experiences, but they don’t exist as anything more solid or substantial than a mental image or words associated with certain sensations.

If we take “here” as a more neutral state, as it has shown up for me in the moments mentioned above, then this more neutral state has gifts. It allows me to notice that just about any state is already here. It’s here as a potential, and also – often – as a trace. Also, a more neutral state makes it easier for me to notice what’s here in terms of what “I” already am – what these experiences and states happen within and as. There may be a reason why, for most of us, this more neutral state is the “default” state and what life tends to return us to. It gives us an opportunity to notice what’s here – in terms of traces and what we are – without the distractions of stronger experiences.

So there are many reasons why I return to “here”. It’s all there is. It’s what’s left and here when I notice the past as an image, and identities and roles as images. If it’s a more neutral state, it’s what allows me to notice what’s already here.

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Noticing as inquiry

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When we sit and have little choice but to notice the mind, we all – inevitably – have certain insights. That’s one of the reasons regular sitting (aka meditation) has an effect.

Here are some of the things we may notice.

Any particular content of experience keeps changing. They come and go. They are visitors.

The activity of the mind seems to naturally quiet down after a while when I sit still and the content is noticed.

My mind tends to run in similar patterns, revisiting similar dynamics and themes.

Identities and roles tend to “flash up” when called for by the situation or triggered by thoughts. They appear, I can engage with them or not, and they then go away again.

When my mind beliefs certain thoughts, they have a charge. And that charge is really sensations assicated with the particular thought. That’s how my mind creates beliefs and identifications, and any thought with a charge.

Strong emotions may pass through with little identification. They appear as emotions passing through and not much else. And slight emotions may trigger a strong identification and seem more real and true as if it really means something.

There is an infinite richness of experience here. I can find any experience and emotion right in this experience, even if just as a whisper or trace.

Content of experience may be active, strong, and in movement while there is also rest and silence here. It all happens within and as silence.

Content of experience may seem anything but OK while it happens within and as what seems OK. OKness and not-OKness both happens here.

Something doesn’t come and go. I can perhaps label it awareness, or awakeness, or consciousness, although none of those labels really fit.

Any description of this is insufficient. It can’t really touch it. Not because what’s happening is so amazing (most of the time it’s very ordinary), but because reality can’t really be touched by words. Words fragment and split while reality is a seamless all-inclusive whole.

I don’t know anything for certain. Thoughts are images and words created by my mind to make sense of the world. They can be helpful for orienting and functioning, but there is no absolute or final truth in any of them. Only a charge (sensations) associated with them can make it seem that they have some final truth, and that’s just a charge – also created by the mind.

Any “me” or “I” happens as content of experience, and is created by my own mind. They are created by thoughts (images and words) combined with sensations. I cannot find any me or I outside of that.

My experience is consciousness. Any experience is consciousness. Or, at least, that’s what the mind can label it. The mind cannot know anything but consciousness since sensory experiences and thoughts happen within and as consciousness. It doesn’t know anything else. The world appears as consciousness. (And any thought about it being consciousness, or not existing etc. are just thoughts, imaginations, questions about the world.)

Thoughts are really questions about the world. Sometimes, the mind recognize them as questions. And sometimes, it tells itself they are more true or real than that. Although it doesn’t really know.

The mind tries to find safety in telling itself it knows something, even if that knowing is painful. And it does so by combining certain sensations with the thoughts. The thoughts seem more substantial, real, and true when they are associated with sensations. And the sensations seems to mean something when they are associated with the thoughts.

Of course, many of these are easier noticed through more structured or formalized inquiry, either through The Work or Living Inquiry or something similar. When they are noticed in inquiry, they are more easily noticed in regular sitting (AKA natural rest, basic meditation, just sitting, shikantaza etc.). When they are noticed in inquiry and/or natural rest, they are more easily noticed in everyday life. And when they are noticed in everyday life, they are more easily noticed through a range of situations in everyday life.

I have participated in a few circling sessions on Skype recently, and this noticing comes even more alive when shared. Sitting in silence has it’s benefits, as does sharing our noticing in real time with another or a small group of people. For me, the sharing adds something to the noticing.

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Mona W: when I started my practice of intentionally finding things to LIKE

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Years ago when I started my practice of intentionally finding things to LIKE no matter where I was, who I was with, or what I was doing, the unexpected benefit was that my anxiety decreased. I felt safer and calmer because I realized I was surrounded by wonderful things that I liked and there was nothing to be afraid of or worry about.

– Mona W. on Facebook

It’s often the simplest intentional noticing and activities that helps the most. They may seem so simple that the thoughts says it’s too simple, it’s what a child may do, and that’s a good reminder to give it a go.

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Meant to create a shift, not to last

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When we have an opening, an experience of overwhelming love or bliss, a very clear recognition of all as Spirit, a deep sense of peace, or something similar, it’s not meant to last. Experiences come to pass, not to last.

What they do instead is inviting or creating a shift. A facet of reality may have been revealed clearly in the experience, so the shift can be to notice this facet here and now and through shifting experiences and states. It can also be a shift in how our human self is organized, aligned, and functions in the world.

If we expect the experience to last, we disappoint ourselves. But if we see it as an invitation for noticing or realignment, then the experience can be very valuable and it’s value may last far longer than the experience itself.

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Keep coming back 

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In a guided rest, I’ll sometimes say:

See how it is to shift from thinking to noticing thought.

If you notice attention gets caught in thinking (in stories, content of thought), then gently shift to noticing thought, notice the mental images or words.

The invitation is to keep coming back to noticing.

And that’s the invitation in daily life as well. I get caught in thinking, notice it, and can shift into noticing the images and words. I can even have some gratitude for the noticing, which happened on its own. I may also notice that the noticing seems to happen more easily and frequently if it’s supported by an intention of noticing.

More generally, I can keep coming back to resting with what’s here. Notice it. Noticing the space all content of experience happens within and as. Even noticing it all as presence.

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Unconsciously identified with vs noticing as content of experience

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When something charged is triggered in me and I don’t notice it very consciously, I tend to be unconsciously identified with it. I take on the viewpoint of the stories within the charge. I perceive the world through that filter.

Say hopelessness is triggered and I am unaware of the sensations and imaginations creating it. I take on the viewpoint of that hopelessness and I feel that the current situation or my life, in general, is hopeless.

I am a client in an inquiry session. Anger gets triggered. I don’t notice the components making it up, so I feel angry and get annoyed at the facilitator, the inquiry, or anything else my mind chooses to put it on.

A deficiency story of not being good enough is activated. I feel I am not good enough in relation to anything in my current situation, whether it’s work, a relationship, a task, or even being facilitated in an inquiry session. This story will color my experience and influence how I behave.

I may instead notice that something charged is triggered, and I may also notice the most obvious elements making it up (sensations, images, words) as it happens. I notice it as content of experience, and that softens or releases identification with it. I can relate to it more intentionally.

Hopelessness is triggered by a current situation. I notice the sensations and some images of me looking hopeless. I may notice words saying “it’s hopeless”, “nothing will help”. I relate to these more intentionally and recognize it as a combination of sensations and imaginations. I may recognize it’s not anything more than that. I may recognize that it’s coloring my experience, and at the same time is not any ultimate or final truth nor is it my destiny. There is some distance to it. I can explore it further as an experience that’s here now.

And the same goes for anger or not feeling good enough, or anything else with a charge that’s activated. I can explore the sensations combined with imaginations, and relate to it more intentionally.

In short:

When something is charged, it’s charged because sensations become “glued” to imaginations or stories.

The charge functions as glue or a magnet for identification.

When it’s activated by a current situation and it’s not recognized as what it is, there is almost automatically identification with it. There is identification with the viewpoint of the stories making up the charge.

If I instead notice it as an object within experience and notice the sensations and imagination components, there is a softening of that identification. That happens even if I just notice the most obvious sensation and one or two associated mental images or set of words. And it happens more thoroughly if I take time to inquire further into it.

It can sound a bit abstract but it’s also something I can repeatedly notice just about every day.

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Viktor Frankl: In that space is our power to choose our response

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frankl

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

– Viktor Emil Frankl

This is, of course, an essential part of mindfulness.

Notice the stimulus, notice the (automatic) response. Notice how my mind creates its experience of the stimulus. Notice the associations. Notice the response.

The more noticing and the more noticing of the space its all happening within, the more space there is to relate to both more intentionally.

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Why mindfulness?

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Mindfulness is a word that’s currently used to mean a lot of different things.

I tend to understand it as noticing content of experience. The content of experience that’s here now, whether it’s  sensory experiences and imaginations of sensory experiences (aka mental images, sounds and images making up words, sounds, taste, smell, sensations).

Why would we do that? I can find a few different reasons:

I get to notice how sensory experiences and imagination combine. For instance, I get to see how sensations combine with imagination to lend this imagination a sense of solidity and reality, and how imagination gives a sense of meaning to sensations.

It helps me shift from thinking to noticing thought. It helps me shift out from being caught in thinking. More precisely, it helps attention shift out of being caught in the content of stories and instead notice that these are imaginations and stories.

It helps me relate to all this in a more intentional way. For instance, I can more intentionally relate to my own reactivity (velcro, beliefs, identifications). It gives me a little more space to recognize that I can relate to my own experience and reactions in a more intentional way. I don’t have to automatically act on whatever is triggered in me.

It helps me notice that what’s here is already noticed and already allowed. This content of experience is already noticed and allowed, and noticing this helps shift the “center of gravity” to that noticing and allowing already here. It’s already built into experience.

It helps me notice what’s here, so I can take it to inquiry and explore it further.

To me, mindfulness is just one aspect of this exploration. In one way, it’s a helpful stepping stone to further exploration. In another way, it’s an essential element of any exploration of our experience, reality, and who and what we are.

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The missing ingredient: Noticing

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What’s here is already noticed. What’s here is already allowed.

The missing ingredient is consciously noticing just that.

Without this noticing, we are stuck in old patterns and identifications.

With the noticing, there is a shift into healing, dissolving velcro, and relating to it more consciously.

And what’s meant by what’s here? It’s what’s here in the simplest and most direct sense. It’s whatever content of experience happens to be in the moment.

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Coming to our senses

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Coming to our senses.

That’s an expression that can be understood literally.

When I am caught in thought, I am – in a sense – caught in the imagination of my senses. I am caught in the story created by mental images (sight), words (sight, hearing), and mental imaginations of sound (hearing).

I am absorbed in these stories, because they feel real. And they feel real because these images and words are connected with sensations in the body, which gives them charge and lends them a sense of solidity and reality.

All of this can be useful in a practical sense. Imagination is vital for us to function in the world, to plan ahead, run through different scenarios, sift through and examine the past, and act on what we learn from this imagination. It’s vital for our survival.

At the same time, it can go a bit awry. We can get caught in stressful stories about the past or future, and these can even go in a loop. We stress ourselves out rather than use imagination as a simple and practical tool.

What’s the remedy? One is to examine these stories. (Is it true? What happens when I take it as true? Who would I be without it? What’s the validity in the reversals? (The Work.) What images and words are associated to the sensations? What do I find when I look at each one, and ask some simple questions to help me see what’s there? (Living Inquiries.))

Another is to, literally, come to my senses.

I can notice what’s here. Notice sensation. Sound. Thought. Shift from thinking to noticing thought. Allow. Notice it’s all already allowed. Notice the boundless space it’s all happening within.

I can feel the sensations. Feel the sensations I may have wanted to escape, by going into thought. Rest with it. Take time.

Both of these – noticing and feeling – helps me shift out of thought.

The noticing helps me notice thought as thought, notice imagination as imagination.

The feeling helps me meet, feel, and even befriend the sensations I initially tried to escape by going into thought. I may get to see that the sensations that initially seemed uncomfortable or scary, because of the stories attached to them, are not so scary. They are sensations. They don’t inherently mean anything. I can feel them, rest with them, even find kindness towards them. I get to see I don’t need to escape sensations by compulsively going into thought. (Getting here may require some inquiry.)

This is a retraining of the mind. A forming of a new habit of noticing and feeling, when I notice the compulsion to go into (obsessive, stressful) thought.

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Notice the thoughts that seems the most as you

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In resting with what’s here, there may be thoughts that “escape” the intentional noticing and allowing. They seem so intimate and and so much like me and so true that I don’t notice them as thoughts. They go unnoticed. They slip under the radar. They seem given and true.

So in resting with what’s here, it can be helpful to include this reminder:

Notice the thoughts that seem the most personal. The most intimate. The most as you. The most true. Include these too. Notice these too as thoughts.

Notice them. Allow them. Notice they are already allowed.

Notice the shift from thinking to noticing.

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Supported by a state vs not

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I notice I am curious about this, partly because it’s not very clear to me yet.

Sometimes, shifts in perception is supported by a state. There may be a state that makes it easier to notice (what a thought may say is) all as one, all absent of any “self”, all as Spirit, all as love, meeting all as love etc.

So there is a shift in state, which invites a shift in perception, which in turn invites a shift in insight, and a shift in noticing.

When the state shifts again, perhaps into something (apparently) very ordinary again, the invitation is to keep noticing and questioning. Is it true it – the noticing, all as Spirit/love etc. – went away? Is it true this is not one, Spirit, love?

This noticing throughout changing states and experiences is in itself (sort of) a state, a state of noticing.

And it is also a shift from something that may appear extraordinary, an extraordinary state, to something very ordinary, noticing what’s already here in (and as) any state, any content of experience.

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Shifting relationship to life

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Situations and experiences always change, so my best option is to shift how I relate to it all.

The Work helps me shift how I relate to thoughts – about myself, the world, any experience.

TRE helps release tension, which helps me shift so I relate to any experience from a lower baseline of stress and tension.

Ho’oponopono shifts how I relate to situations that bother me. I take responsibility for having created them (whatever I see reflects my stories and what’s here), ask for forgiveness, and remind myself of my love.

Asking for help from God (Christ, angels) opens up for a larger wisdom and kindness (Big Mind/Heart/Belly) than what’s here as who I take myself to be (a particular human being).

Breema reminds me of my wholeness as who and what I am, which in turn shifts how I relate to what’s here.

Noticing what’s here helps me coming into more conscious alignment with reality. What’s here is already accepted. What “I” am is that which any experience already happens within and as – including any images of an I, me, a world, and someone relating to something else.

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From witnessing to being

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When fear and other difficult emotions and experiences surface, I find it’s painful – and futile – to try to escape it. And something shifts if I instead meet it.

The pointers go from witness and observing, to being space for and allowing, to meeting and being with, to welcome and say YES to it, to dive into and be it, to notice it’s already allowed, to notice it’s already what I am.

Any of those can be very helpful, perhaps at different times.

For me, I am now more attracted to diving into the middle and being it.

How does it feel to dive into the middle?

How does it feel to be it?

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Allow, change, notice

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rambling draft….

When I explore, I can allow, change or notice, and those three are really facets of the same. Only the emphasis is slightly different.

I allow experience, and notice what happens. There may be a shift from being identified with resistance, to identification with that which (already) allows all experience as is it, including the resistance and identification with various images w/in content of experience. In allowing experience as is, there can also be a shift out of identification with a doer, and a noticing of this doer as an image of a doer causing thinking, decisions, shifts in attention, and action to happen.

I can change something. For instance, I can invite in a shift from resisting to allowing experience. And notice that is really just a shift of identification, of what I temporarily take myself to be. As first-aid, I sometimes visualize stuck energy going down my legs and into the center of the earth and invite a shift that way. I may inquire into  belief to find what is more honest for me than the belief, and allow time for it to sink in, to feel it and who I am without the belief, and allow it to sink in. This doing is a thought, a choice, a shift of attention, perhaps an action in the world, a story of how these go together and one leads to another, and perhaps identification with the doing – as a doer, or just noticing that the doer is a story and an image, happening within content of experience.

I can notice what is already here. I can notice shifts. What happens when I take a story as true. What happens when I find what is more honest for me. What is happening within each sense field, and how overlays of images tie them together and create gestalts. What happens when I take myself to be something within (an imagined boundary within) content of experience, and what happens when I notice myself as that which already allows all content of experience, and its play in the form of this field of experience.

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Already know

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We already know. 

We know what we are because we experience it throughout the day, and it is right here now in immediate awareness. 

We may not notice, recognize it, or take it seriously as something to investigate, but we still know. 

We know that we are not content of experience, because content of experience comes and goes and something – what we are – does not come and go. 

We know stories are not true. They are not true in a conventional sense, since their reversals always have truth in them and entierly different stories may make more sense to us than the ones we are familiar with. And they don’t – and cannot – touch what we and everything are. 

We know all this. We know we are that which experience happens within and as, because it comes more to the foreground throughout the day, whenever identification is relaxed out of content of experience. 

Yet, we don’t always notice it. We don’t always recognize it as what we are. We don’t always take it seriously and as something worth investigating. 

And when we do notice, recognize and investigate, it may take quite a while to become familiar with it. To trust it. To allow ourselves to reorganize and align with it. 

It is all too easy to grasp onto identifications, because that is what we are used to and what seems safe. And some of those identifications may be with stories about exactly these things, stories about what we are which may be as true as stories can be. But we are still identifying with content of experience, holding onto the bank of the river when we are invited to let go and trust. 

We are so used to take ourselves as content of experience that it may take a while to learn to trust. To let all identifications go and relax into and as what we – and everything – already are. And then allow this human self to reorganize, function and mature within that new context. 

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Hunted and haunted

moe Leave a comment

One of the things that brings up discomfort in me (=shadow) is people who seem agitated, driven in an unsettled way, haunted, hunted… who perform daily activities in a harsh way.

I notice for myself that when I feel this way, it is because I have created a box for life and myself, through beliefs and identities, and life comes up with something that is outside of this box, reminding me that it is too small. It comes knocking, I try to ignore it, it keeps knocking, and I become unsettled and agitated, haunted by its presence.

So what happens when I become unsettled when there are unsettled people around? I have a belief that people should be more conscious, more at peace with what is, and I also have an identity for myself as more conscious than that, and more at peace. So what the person is doing comes up outside of the box, and is unsettling to me. Their behavior becomes a reminder of what I left out in my views and identities, and that is exactly what unsettles me and haunts me.

As usual, what I see out there, in someone else, is exactly what is happening right here, at the same moment. It is a precise mirror.

I think he is stupid, and maybe it is a little stupid of me to believe that? What do I really know? Maybe there are some good reasons for his choices and actions? I think she is agitated and shouldn’t be, and as I believe that, I am agitated because what is shouldn’t be, according to my story. I think someone is brilliant, and right there, there is a hint of my own brilliancy in even noticing. I admire someone for having an open heart, and if my own heart was not at least partially open, I wouldn’t recognize or admire it.

The whole process of having things show up outside of the box can be unpleasant, but it is also a good thing. Life invites me to examine those beliefs and identities, broaden them to make them more widely inclusive, and eventually allow any identification with them to release.

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