projections – Mystery of Existence

Forms of projections

Tuesday, 14 April, 2026Tuesday, 2 June, 2026 moe Leave a comment

I attended a Zoom talk this morning about Tibetan dream practices. The host mentioned exploring projections in daily life and also in dreams.

This brought up some curiosity again about different kinds of projections.

1. PROJECTIONS IN CASUAL SENSE – “THAT’S ABOUT YOU“

Although the term comes from psychology (Freud & Jung), it’s also used in daily life these days.

In casual language, projections is typically used when what we see in someone else is not there. It’s a fantasy or we are talking about ourselves.

I am infatuated by someone, and my friends see the person very differently. I am upset by someone’s actions, and others see that it really describes me.

That’s insightful enough. Although there is a fuller and more inclusive way to see it.

2. THE WORLD IS MY MIRROR – PSYCHOLOGICAL UNDERSTANDING

In a psychological context, the world is my mirror.

Whatever I see in the wider world is also here in me.

TURNING MY STORIES AROUND

I can take any story I have about someone or something, change it to be about me, and find specific and genuine examples of how it’s true. This goes for literally anyone and anything – people in my life, public people, fictional characters, dream figures, non-human beings, landscapes, and so on.

Of course, I won’t live out everything in the same way as others do. But I can find the same characteristics and dynamics here in me and my life and actions.

CHARGE

When my view of someone or something has a charge, that’s usually a sign that the projection is blind. I see it out there and not also in myself.

When I recognize it in myself, the charge tends to soften and dissipate.

The charge is like a glue, it glues my attention to what I don’t yet recognize in myself. It’s life saying “take a look at this, and see if you are that too”. It’s an invitation from life to find what I see out there also in here.

I AM AS RICH AS THE WORLD

I am already as rich as the world. The more I find in myself what I see in the world, the richer my experience of myself is. I limit myself less with exclusive identities or shoulds. I am more open and my life is richer and more fluid.

Any one identity soften and all of them have some validity for me. I live more from both/and instead of either/or.

My sense of belonging in the world deepens. I recognize myself in others and the world. The sense of WE and US widens and deepens.

I more easily recognize myself in others, which opens for a more genuine empathy. There is less room for blind judgment, and more understanding and recognition. (Which doesn’t mean harmful actions are OK.)

3. MORE FUNDAMENTAL PROJECTIONS

This psychological understanding of projections is rich and important, and there is another understanding that’s more fundamental.

We can explore this in two steps – first in the form of dreams, and then in the form of our world.

3a. DREAMS AS A PROJECTION – A HINT

We can see dreams as a projection. It’s a world created by the consciousness I am.

It’s projected similar to how a projector projects a movie onto a screen.

Of course, within this more fundamental projection is the world as a mirror projection.

Everyone and everything in the dream represents parts of me. The consciousness I am wouldn’t be able to create it if I wasn’t already it. If the dynamics and characteristics were not already here and familiar to me.

This more fundamental projection is a hint for an even more fundamental projection.

3b. MY WORLD HAPPENS WITHIN AND AS WHAT I AM

If my dreams are projected, maybe that’s the same with my world?

WHO & WHAT I AM

In one sense, I am this human self in the world. That’s how I appear to most others, and it’s what my passport says.

And yet, when I look, I find I more fundamentally am something else. I am what my world – this content of experience – happens within and as. I am what a thought may call consciousness, and the world to me happens within and as the consciousness I am.

Here, this human self becomes part of the world. He is part of the content of experience, just like anything else. He lives his own life. He happens on his own, just like everything happens on its own.

A PROJECTED WORLD

My world is, in a sense projected. We can use that word since it’s similar to how a movie is projected onto a screen.

A DREAMLIKE WORLD

This is also why my world seems dreamlike. It happens within and as what I am, just like my night dreams. It’s made of what I am made up – awake space, or what we may call consciousness.

BEING A GOOD STEWARD

This doesn’t mean that this world is not “real”. It’s definitely real to me, just like dreams are real to me as they happen. It’s not a reason to live recklessly or irresponsibly. I still need to be a good steward of my life, to the best of my ability. That’s part of the game.

ALL TOGETHER – RICHER

I enjoy all of these ways of talking about projections. Each one has some use and validity, and together, they create a richer understanding of my world and experience.

ONGOING EXPLORATION

Also, each of these is an ongoing exploration. It’s something to notice here and now, and make use of here and now.

Sometimes, I may see something in someone others don’t see, and that may be a sign I am caught up in a fantasy or talk about myself and not them.

I can use the world as my mirror. What stories do I have about others and the world? What do I find when I turn it to myself? Can I find specific and genuine examples? How is it to notice that? How is it to take it?

I can notice how my world is dreamlike. It happens within and as what I am. It happens within and as the consciousness I am. What I am forms itself into all of it. How is it to notice this? How is it to live from this noticing, here and now?

A CAVEAT

There is a caveat here, which is why I usually don’t use the word ‘projection’ in the more fundamental sense.

When we use the word ‘projection’, we usually have an image of something that’s projected by something onto something else. That doesn’t really fit here.

A dream isn’t really a projection in that sense. It happens within and as the consciousness I am. It’s the consciousness I am forming itself into a dream and all the content of the dream.

In the same way, my world isn’t projected. It’s what I am forming itself into my world. It’s all happening as one.

Still, some do use the word in this way. If I am to explore different kinds of projections – or different ways the word can be used – then it’s fine to include this as one form of projection. At least in this one article!

HOW THIS IS FOR ME

This was all undeniable within the initial oneness shift in my teens.

I could see that my world – all of existence – happens within and as the consciousness I am.

I could see that what this psyche sees in others and the world is also here. At my human level, the world is my mirror. (This is partly why I got so deeply into Jung in my teens and early twenties.)

I have continued to notice and explore those two. And I feel I am just scratching the surface.

I notice that my world happens within and as what I am, and yet I don’t fully life from and as it through all kinds of states and life circumstances and situations. Many parts of me, many subpersonalities, were formed within and still operate from separation consciousness. Even when more dormant, these color my experience and life, they sometimes surface, and I sometimes get caught up in them.

I also sometimes get caught up in blind or – more often – semi-blind projections. I see the charge and glue I have in relation to someone or something, and recognize it as a sign of projection. And I may not immediately and viscerally be able to find it in myself and deeply take it in. That takes more work and often time.

Image created by me and ChatGPT.

Seeing them in me, and me in them: actively using the world as a mirror both ways

Tuesday, 20 January, 2026Wednesday, 21 January, 2026 moe Leave a comment

One morning here at Amritapuri, social anxiety came up quite strongly. I felt awkward and self-conscious, as an echo of this issue from my teens.

It was a reminder for me to explore projections both ways.

THE WORLD IS A MIRROR FOR ME

I can find in myself what I see in others and the world. I can find genuine and specific examples of it.

Here, I actively use the world as a mirror for myself. What’s there is also here.

The Work of Byron Katie is excellent for exploring this, as is tonglen and other practices.

WHAT’S HERE IS ALSO THERE

The other direction is equally important. What I know from myself is also in others and the world. It’s there at least as a grain, potentials, a part. I imagine those around me sometimes and in some form experiencing what’s in me now.

I am not unique in my hangups, wounds, clarity, or insights. What’s here is also there, to some extent and in some form.

In my imagination, I see me as a mirror for them.

IN THE SAME BOAT

Both help me see, and eventually viscerally feel, that we are all in the same boat.

In the situation above, where social anxiety came up, it helped to remind myself that others experience this too. Everyone has experienced some of it in some situations. Some may even experience as much or more than me, right now. This helps me find compassion for all of us. It’s not about just me.

Wish fulfillment – or an aspect of me that can be brought more fully into life?

Saturday, 16 August, 2025Saturday, 16 August, 2025 moe Leave a comment

Last night, I dreamt I was an animator skilled in a range of styles.

Some would see it as a wish fulfillment. I have artistic talent and was fully immersed in producing and learning about art in my teens and early twenties. I could have had a career in art if life had gone in that direction. Now, I miss it and sometimes think of how those alternate paths may have been. So yes, the dream can be seen as wish fulfillment.

I see it differently, perhaps in a more Jungian way. I see the dream as aspects of me. Something that’s already here, and the dream invites me to bring it more fully into my life. It invites me to bring more of my wholeness and richness into life.

Those two orientations are similar, and the wish fulfillment one can – if we have that orientation – lead to bringing it into life¹.

Still, I prefer the second orientation. What the dream is about is already here, as a potential, in some form. And the dream is an invitation to notice and, in this case, bring it more fully into my life.

I may not be a Japanese animator. But the essence of the dream is, for me, about a fun, imaginative, joyful artistic expression. And that’s something I can do. I have pencils, Japanese brush pens, and paper ready in front of me, and plan to do some drawing today².

NOTES

I am I honest, the wish fulfillment orientation (Freud) feels a little sad and cynical, and it requires an extra step for it to encourage us to bring what the dream is about into life. The Jungian approach is more life-affirming to me, and the invitation to bring it more into life is already built in.
My mother died two days ago, and I can also see the dream as my mother encouraging me to do more art. She did in waking life, and she is on the side of the parts of me that wish for me to more engage in art.

The sketch is one I did a long time ago, when drawing and painting were part of my daily life.

Everyone is smarter than me and more stupid than me

Saturday, 2 August, 2025Sunday, 3 August, 2025 moe Leave a comment

Just about everyone is both smarter than me, and more stupid than me.

SMARTER THAN ME

I can always find one or several areas of life where they are smarter than me.

There is some area… they know more about than me. They are more familiar with than me. Where they are more mature than me. Where they are more healed than me.

Always, there is more than one area. And always, there are far more areas I don’t know about than the ones I do. It’s just a matter of time before I find one more, and one more.

This is independent of age, education, occupation, gender, ethnicity, and any other characteristic.

That’s why, when I meet someone, I often wonder… what can I learn from this person? What do they know – in how they live their life or other skills – that I don’t?

MORE STUPID THAN ME

Similarly, everyone I meet is more stupid than me in one or more areas.

There is always one or more areas that I am more familiar with, or have more skills, or am a little more mature or healed, and so on.

For this reason, I don’t need to feel inferior or that I am not good enough.

Of course, it’s not about stupidity. It’s just about experience and how we are put together.

EVERYONE IS A MIRROR

More essentially, everyone is a mirror.

I can take any story I have about the other, turn it to be about myself, and find genuine and specific examples of how it’s true. I can find how it’s true here and now, at the moment I have the thought about the other. And I can find examples from the past where it was true.

What I see in the other is something I know from myself, whether I notice or not.

And it is a relief to notice.

(Some of) The many ways dreams and waking life are the same

Tuesday, 3 June, 2025Tuesday, 3 June, 2025 moe Leave a comment

I could say that there are many parallels between dreams and waking life, and it wouldn’t be wrong.

And this is a more honest and direct way of saying it:

I keep noticing many ways dreams and waking life are the same.

THE WORLD IS MY MIRROR

The world – whether in dreams or waking life – mirrors me.

I can take whatever story I have about anyone or anything, turn it to be about myself, and find specific and genuine examples of how it’s true.

Exploring the world as a mirror, whether it’s dreams or waking life, helps me find and get to know more of my wholeness. I am already as rich as the world, the question is only if I actively explore it, notice it, and consciously live from and as it.

This is an ongoing and deepening process without any finishing line.

DREAMS AND WAKING LIFE HAPPENS WITHIN AND AS WHAT I AM

In one sense, I am this human self in the world. That’s not wrong. And yet, when I look, I find I more fundamentally am something else. I am what the world, as it appears to me, happens within and as.

Dreams and waking life are both content of experience. They both happen within and as what I am. They are no different from each other in that sense.

What I am forms itself into dreams and waking life at different times, and sometimes even at the same time. (During waking life, I can sense and sometimes connect with the dreaming part of consciousness.)

Even more fundamentally, what I am is capacity for all of it – consciousness and all it forms itself into.

DREAMS AND WAKING LIFE ARE MADE OF THE SAME

Said another way, dreams and waking life are made of the same.

They are made of the consciousness I am. They are made of awakeness. (The ordinary awakeness inherent in consciousness.)

They are made of awake space.

They are made of capacity taking the form of all of it – awakeness and what it forms itself into.

DREAMS AND WAKING LIFE COME AND GO

Dreams and waking life come and go. It’s all ephemeral. It’s all visitors.

Even this human self and any ideas of being a self (or anything else) come and go.

I am not fundamentally any of it.

I am what forms itself into all of it. I am what it all comes and goes within and as.

I am capacity for all of it.

DREAMS AND WAKING LIFE LIVE THEIR OWN LIFE

Dreams and waking life live their own life.

Even this human self lives his own life.

It all is happening on its own.

HOW I RELATE TO THE WORLD IS HOW I RELATE TO THE WORLD

How I relate to the dreaming world is how I relate to the waking world.

How I relate to the world is how I relate to the world.

How I relate to anything reflects my patterns, habits, and assumptions.

CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF THE NATURE OF IT ALL OR NOT

Whether in dreams or waking life, I can consciously notice the nature of it all or not.

Within a dream, I can consciously notice it’s nature as consciousness. (I have done this, even as a child, but haven’t pursued this. It’s too tempting to change the content of the dream, and I don’t want to interfere with the dream-making process.)

In waking life, we can notice the dreamlike nature of it all. It’s all happening within the consciousness I am. It’s all the capacity I am taking all these forms. This is something I am actively noticing and exploring.

THE WAY I EXPLORE DREAMS IS HOW I EXPLORE WAKING LIFE

I tend to explore dreams and waking life in similar or the same ways.

I see them as mirrors for me. I find and get to know what in me I see in the dreams or waking life.

I identify stressful stories, question them, and find what’s more true for me.

I do tonglen or ho’oponopono with dream figures or people/beings/collectives in waking life.

I notice it all, to me, happens within and as the consciousness I am. (These days, I tend to rest with viscerally noticing it all as forms of Amma.)

I notice anyone and anything my psyche tend to see as “other” as the consciousness I am, and as expressions of the divine, and rest in and as that noticing.

I notice contractions in me and notice that these, in my experience, are made of the consciousness I am.

Dreams: Effortlessly included, and it feels good

Tuesday, 27 May, 2025Tuesday, 27 May, 2025 moe Leave a comment

I am with people from my elementary and middle-school class. We are all grown-ups, in our forties. I sit somewhere to do something, and three of the women from my class come to sit with me. They proceed to talk about clothes, relationships, health, and so on. I feel naturally and effortlessly included, and it feels good.

IN WAKING LIFE

In elementary and middle school, I often lived in fear of not being included. I was sometimes actively excluded, and whether I was included or not seemed arbitrary, random, and dependent on who was there.

The exclusion often comes from wounds, pain, and trauma. Hurt people hurt people. The ones who excluded me did it from their own pain. When I have excluded others, or parts of me, it comes from my reaction to my own wounds and pain.

As mammals living in groups, being excluded is life-threatening. It’s one of the worst things that can happen to us, so no wonder it’s traumatizing, especially when it happens early in life.

Being effortlessly included, as I was in the dream, feels amazing and – to the extent I take it in – it’s deeply healing and nourishing for me.

In waking life, from high school on and especially later, I have felt more effortlessly included, and I don’t take it for granted. I am grateful for it. This is a far more natural way for humans to behave, live, and treat ourselves and others. It’s how we are when we are more healed and whole, and we feel safe.

ALL IN ME

Dreams are also a more direct and intimate mirror. All the parts of the dream mirror parts of me.

I sometimes exclude parts of me, since I learned exclusion from early in life. I learned it from my birth family when they excluded others (often verbally) or I saw them exclude parts of themselves and their experience. I learned it from school interactions.

I learned it’s how you are supposed to do it in this world, so I learned to do the same.

I learned how to exclude parts of me and parts of my experience – including emotions, discomfort, and stressful thoughts and images.

WAKING LIFE AS A REMINDER OF AN EMBRACE OF MORE OF ME

In waking life, there has been people I felt hurt by and I have excluded somewhat in my mind. I was reminded of this some days ago, and have explored actively including them more. I have actively included the parts of me represented by them. They happen in my own images, so I am including those images and whatever in me is connected with the images.

I use tonglen and ho’oponopono. I see them as the divine, as local and temporary expressions of the divine just like me, and viscerally feel it and rest in and as that visceral noticing. I wish them the best in their lives.

Why?

Because they are part of the web of life just like me. They are expressions of existence, just like me.

They are a mirror for me. What I see in them is something I can find in myself. The way I relate to them is how I relate to myself and my experiences. And I don’t want to treat myself that way.

Mainly, it’s because it just feels better. It’s a returning home. It’s an embrace of more of what I already am.

This is not noble. It doesn’t come from shoulds. It’s not because someone said it makes me a certain kind of person. It’s not primarily for their sake (although it may make it easier for them).

It’s something far more simple, immediate, and visceral: it just feels better.

Ale’s dream & empathy with monsters

Saturday, 1 February, 2025Monday, 3 February, 2025 moe Leave a comment

A former president – Álvaro Uribe Vélez, known for systematic human rights violations and other horrors – is my client. He says he is very lonely. I want to give him hell for what he did to others, but feel I can’t since he is my client.

This is similar to a dream I had about Trump a while back.

These dreams show us the human side of the ones we vilify, or want to vilify, in our minds. They fill out the picture for us. Yes, a part may see them as villains and monsters, for good reasons. And they are also humans like us. Their history can help us understand why they are as they are. Also, they are a mirror for this side of ourselves. They help us find the same in ourselves, even here and now in how we relate to them.

In this case, Uribe and Trump are as much victims as anyone else – of trauma, family dynamics, the mindset of empire and colonialism, and so on. In short, they are the victim of domination culture. They are damaged by domination culture and hurt people hurt people.

For whatever reason, they sided with the culture that hurt them and they dealt with their trauma by systematically hurting others. In the process, they also continue to hurt themselves. They have to live with their own mindset 24/7.

If we see the monster only in them, we become the monster too. We are bound to live it out without acknowledging it. We react to Uribe and Trump in ways that mirror their behavior.

It helps to understand some of these dynamics. Their actions are symptoms of trauma and domination culture. It’s an expression of collective and inter-generational trauma.

We all have it in us. All of us who live within or have been affected by the Western domination culture are marked by it. We have internalized the domination mindset.

Fortunately, it’s not all we are. We can learn to recognize it. We can relate to it differently. We can choose to live alternatives. We can explore how it is to live from more of a partnership orientation.

We can even find a conscious partnership with these sides of ourselves – the ones that perceive and live from a domination culture mindset, the ones that deal with their trauma by inflicting more hurt on themselves and others. We can dialog with these sides of ourselves. We can understand them better. We can find ways to recognize and relate to it more consciously. We can help these sides of us find another way to deal with their own pain.

In the world, we can still work to stop the harm inflicted on others by the actions of these kinds of people. We can speak up about it. We can work to prevent these people from coming into power. We can use legal means to stop some of their actions. And so on. We can live alternatives.

And when we do whatever we do – to stop the harm, to analyze, to live alternatives – we do it with a little more clarity and kindness. We recognize the behavior as a symptom of larger cultural and historical patterns. We do whatever we do knowing that we have these sides in ourselves.

I don’t really miss people, places, or situations, I miss how I was then

Friday, 10 January, 2025Friday, 10 January, 2025 moe Leave a comment

If I notice I miss a time in my life, I know I don’t really miss the people, places, or times.

I miss how I was then.

More accurately, I miss how I imagine I was then. I miss my own mythology about it.

That’s good news since it means I can find it here and now.

FINDING IT HERE AND NOW

How do I imagine I was then? Can I find it here and now?

How is it to shift into the part of me that’s like that now? How is it to connect with that part of me? To perceive and live from that part of me? How does that part see me? What advice does it have for me? What can it contribute? How can I bring it more into my life here and now? How can I create a more intentional partnership with it?

Since I am most familiar with the Big Mind process and Voice Dialog, that’s what I tend to use to explore this. If I was more familiar with other forms of parts work, I would likely use that. Anything goes as long as it helps me find and live from and as that part here and now, and then find ways to bring it more into my daily life.

A COUPLE OF OTHER WAYS TO EXPLORE IT

I can expore this in other ways too. What stories do I have about that person, place, or situation? If I take one of those… Is it true? Can I know for certain it’s true? What happens if I hold those as true? Who would I be, here and now, if I couldn’t have those stories? What do I find if I turn those stories to myself and find genuine and specific examples of how it’s true? What genuine and specific examples can I find of how it’s true here and now? This is The Work of Byron Katie which, under guidance of a skilled facilitator, can invite deep shifts.

What do I hope to get out of it? What do I hope to get out of that? And that? If I follow this back to the most essential, what do I find? Can I find that here and now? This is an inquiry suggested by Adyashanti and I find it very clarifying.

Lila as projection

Friday, 10 January, 2025Friday, 10 January, 2025 moe Leave a comment

Lila or leela can be loosely translated as “divine play”. The concept of lila asserts that creation, instead of being an objective for achieving any purpose, is rather an outcome of the playful nature of the divine. As the divine is perfect, it could have no want fulfilled, thereby signifying freedom, instead of necessity, behind the creation.
– Wikipedia entry on Lila

Any idea we have about the world – anyone or anything – is a projection. It points to something here now.

So also with lila.

WHAT I AM TO MYSELF

To myself, in my own immediate noticing, I am what the world happens within and as.

I am what a thought may call consciousness and the consciousness I am form itself into this whole field of experience – including of this human self, a doer, an observer, and so on.

The world, as it appears to me, is the play of the consciousness I am.

It’s the consciousness I am expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself in always new ways.

LILA AS PROJECTION

The idea of lila, the idea that all of existence is the play of existence – of the universe, the divine, Spirit, God, Brahman, Allah, and so on – mirrors what’s already here in immediate noticing.

We may not consciously notice it, but when we do – whether it’s as an intuition or directly – it’s easy to project it onto existence as a whole.

Here, in immediate noticing, the consciousness I am takes the form of this field of experience. The world, as it appears to me, is the play of the consciousness I am.

So then it’s natural to imagine that this is the case for existence as a whole as well.

Lila is a projection of what’s already here.

THE PURPOSE IS THE EXPERIENCE

When I notice here, I find that the “purpose” of it all seems to be the experience itself.

The purpose seems to be the play itself, the play of the awake space I am forming itself into this whole field of experience.

Here too, it’s easy to project it onto existence itself. I imagine that the purpose of it all is for existence to express, explore, and experience itself in always new ways.

Even evolution is part of that purpose. Evolution is what allows it all to always be new in terms of the crude content of how it all unfolds.

IT’S GOOD TO DIFFERENTIATE

I find it’s helpful to differentiate here.

There is my immediate noticing. I am consciousness taking the form of this whole field of experience, and it’s always new and fresh.

Then there is the projection of this – of the mental representations of this – onto existence as a whole. I imagine that the whole of existence is like this.

It may make sense. It may happen to fit how some others talk about it.

And it’s still an imagination and a projection.

It’s good to hold it all lightly.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THIS

When the oneness shift happened in my teens, this is one of the things that immediately seemed clear.

All of existence is the divine expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself in always new ways.

At the time, there wasn’t the differentiation mentioned above, but it came with a little more noticing.

The awake space I am seems to express, explore, and experience itself in always new ways. It seems built into what I am. It seems inevitable.

I then create a mental representation of that, and then imagine it onto existence as a whole.

Many years after the initial shift, in my thirties, was when I first encountered the Indian idea of Lila and I recognized it as pointing to the same as what I had been noticing and written about in my journals.

The image above was created by me and Midjourney

Isha Upanishad: He who sees all beings in his own Self, and his own Self in all beings, he does not hate anyone

Thursday, 2 January, 2025Thursday, 2 January, 2025 moe Leave a comment

He who sees all beings in his own Self, and his own Self in all beings, he does not hate anyone.
– Isha Upanishad, Verse 6

I was reminded of this and thought I would revisit it by exploring each of the three parts.

ALL BEINGS IN ME

He who sees all beings in his own self.

I find this in two ways.

First, I notice that my experience of all beings happens within and as the awake space that’s here, the awake space I fundamentally am. In that sense, I see all beings in me.

I also notice that the world is my mirror. I can take whatever story I have about anyone, turn it to be about myself, and find genuine and specific examples of how it’s true. Usually, I can find it in the moment I have the story about someone (or something), and also in other situations.

So as what I am (consciousness), I see all beings in myself, and as who I am (this human self) I also can find all beings in myself. The first is immediate noticing, the second may take some exploration.

ME IN ALL BEINGS

And his own Self in all beings.

How do I see myself in all beings? I find this too in a few different ways.

To me, they happen within and as the consciousness I am. They are literally made up of the same stuff as me, as awake space.

I also imagine that to themselves, they are the same as me. If they “have consciousness” then to themselves, they very likely are consciousness just like me. To them, the world happens within and as the consciousness they are, just as for me.

Also, whatever I imagine in them at a human level is something I know from myself. I cannot imagine it in them if I don’t already know it, consciously or not, from myself.

So in three ways, I see myself in them. To me, they happen within and as the awake space here. I imagine they, to themselves, are consciousness just like me. And whatever qualities and characteristics I see in them are ones I know from myself.

DOES NOT HATE?

He does not hate anyone.

Does this lead to not hating anyone?

In my experience, I would say yes and no.

To the extent it’s thoroughly recognized and lived, then yes. It does lead to a dissolving of the patterns we can call hate.

Hate comes from a visceral sense of separation, of me and others, of others as different from me, of being unable to recognize or see myself in the other, and that dissolves. The causes of hate is no longer there.

At the same time, parts of me likely hate. These parts of me were formed from separation consciousness and still live, at least to some extent, from separation consciousness. They suffer and are confused. These parts of me are not necessarily on board with my conscious noticing of my nature and all of the above.

So there often, in practice, both. It’s good to acknowledge. It’s good to recognize the parts of me suffering in this way, meet them with some kindness and understanding, and give them space to soften, heal, and realign.

It also helps to have a dialog with these parts of me, get to know them better, and create a more intentional partnership with them. And it helps to identify the painful stories these parts of me operate from, explore them, and find what’s genuinely more true for me.

WHO AND WHAT I AM

For me, this all has to do with who and what I am.

I find myself as consciousness and the world, as it appears to me, as consciousness. This is what I am and it’s what’s noticed in immediacy.

I imagine others are like this too, to themselves. They are consciousness and the world, to them, happens within and as the consciousness they are. They are, quite literally, a world as we all are.

As who I am, as this human self, the world is my mirror. Whatever I see in others or the world is something I can find here.

As who I am, I also find that parts of me are hurt and wounded, and live from painful and unexamined stories. These parts of me inevitably color my perception and life whether I notice or not. It makes sense to get to know these parts of me, listen to them and get to know their world, befriend them, and identify and examine the painful stories they operate from.

This helps create a more intentional partnership with them, and it helps them join the whole in a more healthy and mature way.

All of this is an ongoing process. There is no finishing line, at least not in this life. It’s an ongoing exploration.

UFOs over Oregon

Monday, 16 December, 2024Tuesday, 17 December, 2024 moe Leave a comment

I see that several pilots reported UFOs near Eugene and on the Oregon coast some days ago. They saw lights and objects moving at impossible speeds and in several patterns. (I used to live in Eugene, Oregon, so this story caught my attention.)

As is tradition, interviewed officials and scientists try to explain it away with explanations that clearly don’t fit the observations. In this case, they say it’s Starlink satellites. Do Starlink satellites move in a corkscrew pattern? Do they move at extreme speeds? Are they a red sphere? Why do several independent pilots report them on this particular night and not on other nights?

At the same time, there has been a swing of the pendulum from the US government initially taking UFOs seriously (1940s, 1950s), to outright dismissal (1960s-2000s), to recent years where the Pentagon has released videos and information on unexplained aerial phenomena. Even the New York Times reported on it. (I happened to see two tic-tac-shaped UFOs in California headed towards the coast at about the same time these videos are from, long before the videos were made public.)

I have been interested in UFOs off and on since childhood and was a member of the Norwegian UFO organization in elementary school. I especially like the approach of John Mack, Jacques Vallee, and others who take a more open, curious, and cultural/psychological approach to it. And I have been especially impressed by the Ariel school mass sighting and stories like the one in Witness of Another World.

Since I am from Norway, the Hessdalen lights and observations made an impression on me as a kid. I also like that they have received scientific attention and are systematically observed and studied.

WHY AM I INTERESTED IN UFOS?

Why am I interested in the UFO phenomenon?

There are several reasons: The mystery of it. The invitation for sober thinking. The projection aspect. That UFO encounters often are transformative. That just the idea of UFOs challenge us to examine our views. And that whatever is behind some of the reports may well go outside of what’s currently familiar to us. I’ll go into these briefly below.

I should also mention that when I write about how governments relate to UFOs, it’s mostly about the US, partly because I have lived there most of my adult life and partly because my country of origin (Norway) has a similar orientation. I know that other countries are more openly interested in it and publicly take it seriously.

THE MYSTERY OF UFOS

One reason I am interested in the UFO phenomenon is the mystery of it. What’s going on?

Although most sightings have ordinary explanations, some seem credible and genuinely baffling and unexplainable. The US navy sightings, with video and radar data, is a recent example. Nothing known explains what several pilots saw and which is backed up by instrumentation. (The explanations some have put forward don’t match the data, not to mention that they are insulting to the intelligence and experience of the people in the navy genuinely baffled by it.)

Many reports are odd, with a mix of UFOs, synchornicities, unusual animal encounters, animals far larger than what’s possible, sightings of mythological creatures, and so on. These are anecdotal so have to be taken with a big pinch of salt, but there are also patterns across times and cultures in these reports, and they hint at something far odder than scientists from another planet visiting in nuts and bolts vehicles. (Odd for our Western materialistic mindset, that is.)

It’s natural and healthy that we have some degree of interest in mysteries. It’s built into us through evolution, and it’s one of the ways our ancestors learned about the world and gained a survival edge. It’s also natural and healthy that the degree of curiosity differs between individuals.

THE MYSTERY IN EVERYTHING

There is a bigger picture here, and that is that everything is mystery.

We have questions about the world, and that’s it. We don’t know anything for certain.

Life, the world, and ourselves are far more mysterious to us than many like to admit.

This the mystery I am most interested in, which is reflected in the name of this website. It’s the mystery that takes the form of everything. This overarching mystery is also why I don’t spend too much time on what’s conventinally considered mysteries, like UFOs, although I dip into it now and then.

SOBER THINKING

The UFO phenomenon is an invitation for sober thinking, which is another reason I sometimes get into it. It’s a good practice ground for sober thinking, being honest with myself, noticing imaginations as imaginations, and noticing if I get into wishful or fearful thinking.

What’s the data? Would it hold up in a court of law? Would it be accepted in a peer-reviewed journal?

How is the logic? Is it grounded and solid? Am I committing logical fallacies?

Do I pretend to know something that I don’t know for certain?

Our thoughts are questions about the world. Do I pretend that my thoughts are something else?

Similarly, do I pretend that all thoughts about it are equal? That some are not more grounded in solid data and logical thinking than others?

WHEN ABANDONED IT’S OPEN FOR CRACKPOTS

In the US, and several other countries, the UFO topic has largely been dismissed, ridiculed, and put on the margins of government and scientific attention since the modern UFO waves came in the 1940s.

That has left the field wide open for crackpots, which has made it even more of a pariah topic for serious politicians, government officials, and scientists. (Here, I consider those who have strong ideas about UFOs and think they know for certain as crackpots. Their ideas are typically based in poor data and flawed logic.)

With the publication of US navy videos of unexplainable aerial phenomena, and the New York Times article, there is a small shift, an invitation for people to take it seriously.

PROJECTIONS

Yet another reason I am interested is because of the projection aspect of UFOs.

What do we imagine onto the UFOs? Do we imagine beings? If so, do we imagine them as saviors, villains, detached observers? Maybe culturally, technologically, or spirituality evolved beyond us? Something else?

It’s good to notice that these are our own imaginations and find what they point to in ourselves.

What’s my stories about the UFOs? What’s my stories about how people – governments, media, scientists, crackpots – relate to them? What do I find when I turn each of those stories to myself? Can I find genuine and specific examples of how they are true?

If I remember correctly from his book on UFOs, Jung saw them as representing the Self, our mind-body whole at a human level. Since we don’t know what they are, they are good projection objects for just about anything our mind wants to project, which means they can also tell us a lot about ourselves.

TRANSFORMATIVE EXPERIENCES

Several people report sometimes profound transformations following a UFO or alien encounter.

The man in the Witness of Another World documentary had his life profoundly changed. He was able to spontaneously know the future of people he met (touched?), and the future was sometimes revealed to him in dreams. (Just like, it turned out, the shamans of the tribe his ancestors were originally from.)

The children from the Ariel school also reported transformations when interviewed a quarter of a century later, and the ones closest to the UFO seemed to have experienced the most profound shifts. As far as I remember, the shifts were often into questioning the mainstream worldview, open to the mysteries in life and the universe, a deep love and concern for the Earth, and so on.

In the shamanic traditions around the world, it seems that UFO and alien encounters are part of their history and culture. A part of the initiations and transformations of shamans sometimes involve what we think of as UFOs and aliens. (Sky beings.) John Mack writes about this in some of his books.

It seems that UFO or alien encounters serve a transformative function and are in the general category of some other experiences: Near death experiences (NDEs), before-life experiences, some psychedelic experiences, some altered states, mystical shifts, and similar.

My interest in this comes from having had at least two nudges in my life that have been profoundly transforming. The first is the (apparent) flashbacks to the time between lives that would happen in early childhood, before school age. The second is the oneness shift that happened when I was sixteen (and didn’t go away).

UFOS & OUR VIEWS

The UFO phenomenon invites us to notice and question some of our assumptions and explore options that may fit the data better. In this case, we don’t have much solid data, so we can find options that make sense no matter what.

I. WORLDVIEWS

UFOs are a reminder that what we know about the world, ourselves, and the universe, is limited, and that our collective worldview is similarly limited.

We live within a particular Western worldview and mindset, and this worldview and mindset is cultural and temporary. It will be gone. Future generations (if we survive the coming ecological bottleneck) will see it as outdated, quaint, and misguided in many areas.

In the future, knowledge of other beings in the universe may be a core part of our collective worldview.

In the future, we may collectively acknowledge a far richer reality – perhaps one that includes synchronicities, awakening (the consciousness we are awake to itself), distance sensing and healing, and so on.

II. A GLOBAL VIEW

Since we (rightly or wrongly) associate UFOs with beings outside of Earth, they remind us that we are one Earth, one living planetary system, and one species.

Through our ideas about UFOs, we give ourselves a more global perspective.

That’s valuable in itself.

Of course, this happens in other ways as well: Images of the Earth from space, science fiction stories, systems views, and so on. The UFO phenomenon is just one part of this.

III. OUR ROLE IN THE COSMOS

Since we (rightly or wrongly) associate UFOs with beings from other places in the universe, they are a reminder for us about our own role in the cosmos and they invite us to look closer at this role.

Through science, we see the universe as a seamless evolving system, and we are temporary and fleeting expressions of this system.

It’s likely that this is not the only planet – or local system – that has come to life. We may share this universe with many other forms of life, and we are all part of the evolution of this seamless universe. With our reflective and self-reflective mind, we shape our own evolution and, in our small way, the evolution of the universe.

If we ever know for certain we are not alone, it will change how we see ourselves and the rest of the universe. It will shape how we see our role in it. It will invite us to have more of a cosmic context for our lives. And that changes everything, perhaps in a small way with big consequences.

WORTH STUDYING

The UFO phenomenon is worth studying, no matter what’s behind it. (Likely a variety of things – known misidentified phenomena, unknown natural phenomena, maybe something else too.)

It’s worth studying…

…for security reasons. For instance, some sightings may be of drones used for spying.

…for psychological and social reasons. It helps us understand the psyche and social dynamics better.

…since there seems to be something real and genuinely mysterious behind some of the reports.

…since some of it may be unknown natural phenomena. (For instance, some of the lights in Hessdalen, Norway.)

…since some phenomena seems to go outside of what’s understood and acknowledged in our current Western worldview.

…since what we find behind some of the phenomena, whatever it is, may give us a better understanding of the world and the universe. It has the potential to reveal something slightly or dramatically different from what we already know.

A few ways to think about others that bring a grounded understanding

Thursday, 28 November, 2024Sunday, 9 February, 2025 moe Leave a comment

I thought I would list a few ways to think about others that make sense to me, seems aligned with reality, and can be transforming.

THEY ARE CONSCIOUSNES LIKE ME

In one sense, I am this human self in the world. That’s an assumption that works reasonably well, although it’s not what I fundamentally am.

When I look in my own first-person experience, I find I fundamentally am something else. I find I am what any experience happens within and as, including this human self, others, the wider world, states, thoughts, emotions, and so on. I am what a thought may call consciousness, and the world, as it appears to me, happens within and as the consciousness I am.

Based on reports and what makes sense, I assume this is how it is for others as well. To themselves, they are fundamentally consciousness, and the world as it appears to them happens within and as the consciousness they are.

Whether we notice or not, we are fundamentally the same. It’s just the particulars of the bodymind that we function through that’s different. This shifts how I see others.

THEY MIRROR ME

Others and the world mirror me.

I can take any story I have about someone or something, turn it to myself, and find genuine and specific examples of how it’s true. Most likely, I can even find how it’s true in the moment I have the thought about the other.

It may not look the same, but I can find the same dynamics.

We are in the same boat. They help me find more of my own richness. They help me relate to more sides of myself in a more conscious way.

HOW I SEE THEM SAYS MORE ABOUT ME THAN THEM

How I see others inevitably says more about me than them.

It says how I tend to perceive the world. It says something about what stories I hold onto as true. It may say something about my wounds, hangups, and traumas.

I don’t really know anything about anyone, and I have far from the full picture, so it doesn’t really say much if anything about them.

THEY HELP ME SEE MY HANGUPS

Others help me find my own hangups, wounds, traumas, and where I hold onto a fixed view to find safety.

Whenever I get stressed, it’s a good chance it’s because (my ideas about) life – often in the form of others – rubs up against a fixed view and identity in me.

THEY WANT THE SAME AS ME

They want the same as me. They want to avoid suffering, and they want to find contentment, happiness, connection, love, acceptance, alivness, a sense of being home, and so on.

We all want the same, whether we are an insect, bird, or human. We are the same in this.

THEIR WORLD IS AS RICH AS MINE

Their world and life is as rich as mine.

To them, their life is as rich as my life is to me.

WHAT I (THINK I) KNOW IS MINISCULE COMPARED TO WHAT I DON’T KNOW

What I think I know about someone, or about anything at all, is miniscule to what I don’t know.

With more information, I may see them in a very different way. It’s almost certain that I would.

So it’s worth holding my ideas about others – and myself, and anything in life – lightly.

MY THOUGTS ABOUT THEM ARE GUESSES

My thoughts about someone are guesses. They are provisional.

They are based on very limited information and a lot of questionable assumptions, biases, and so on.

They are something to hold very lightly and as questions only.

IF I KNEW MORE, I WOULD UNDERSTAND AND FIND EMPATHY

If I knew more about the other, judgments would give way for understanding and empathy.

I may not agree with their words and actions. In some cases, I may even want to stop some of their actions. And I would still have understanding and empathy.

IF I HAD THEIR BODY AND MIND, I WOULD BE LIKE THEM

If I had their body and psyche, just as it is, I would be like them. I would be them.

IF I HAD THEIR CONDITIONING, I WOULD BE MORE SIMILAR TO THEM

A softer way to say it is that if I had their biologial, psychological, and social conditioning – if I had the same influences as they have – I would likely be very similar to them.

If I had their ancestry and genetics, if I had their upbringing, if I lived in their culture and subculture, I would be very similar to them.

WE ARE ALL A PRODUCT OF OUR TIME AND PLACE

We are all a product of our time and place. I grew up in a reasonably well-educated middle-class family in Norway, went to University, and so on. My views are generally very predictable based on my background.

If I grew up in a small town in Siberia or Texas, my views and life would likely reflect that background.

IF I BELIEVED THE SAME STORIES AS THEM, I WOULD PERCEIVE AND LIVE LIKE THEM

If I believd the same set of stories as someone, I would perceive the world and live in the world much like them.

Most of us seem to believe some of the same universal and painful stories, partly because we live in a similar culture, and partly because we are human.

I know how painful it is for me, and I imagine it’s as painful for them.

(I happen to have tools to identify and question these stories, and most don’t which makes it even more difficult for them.)

THEY HAVE CHALLENGES LIKE ME

We all present a certain image to the world.

I do too, and I know very well that what’s going on here is far more than the different images I present to others and the world in different settings and circumstances.

That’s how it is for others too. They present a certain image to the world, and it’s just a small part of what’s going on.

They have their own challenges, just like me.

A SMALL KINDNESS CAN MEAN A LOT

Whenever someone is extra kind to me, I remember. It makes an impression, and it can mean a lot to me, especially on difficult days or in challenging periods of life.

A small kindness can mean a lot to others, as it does for me.

COLLECTIVE AND INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA

We all have our share of collective and integenerational trauma.

It’s inevitable from growing up in a family and living in a society and culture.

And the further over on the dominance side of the spectrum our culture is, the more trauma we likely have inhereted. (Unless we happen to grow up in an unusually healthy and conscious family, although even then there will be blindspots and some inhereted trauma.)

We are in the same boat here. We are all dealing with much of the same, and it’s not as personal as it may seem.

HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE

Hurt people hurt people.

If someone hurts others and themselves, it’s likely because they have been hurt.

They are reacting to and living out their own trauma. (And in the process possibly passing it on.)

I do this too. When I hurt others, it’s typically because I am hurt and I am unable to relate to it with kindness and awareness in the moment.

It doesn’t justify hurtful words and actions, but it can help us understand.

Here too, we are in the same boat.

WE ARE EXPRESSIONS OF THIS LIVING SYSTEM AND EXISTENCE

We are all temporary and local expressions of this living system and existence.

Everything we are and live has innumerable causes going back to beginning of time (if there is a beginning) and the widest extent of the universe (if there is a widest extent).

As Carl Sagan said: We are the universe bringing itself into consicousness. We are the local eyes, ears, thoguhts, and feelings of the universe.

We are fleeting and local expressions of the whole. What we see as personal is the fleeting and local expressions of the larger seamless whole we are part of.

We are existence – the universe, this living planet – fleetingly and locally expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself as and through us.

We are all part of this grand adventure.

WE ARE LOVE

The oneness I am is love. It’s a love independent of changing emotions and states. It’s the love of the left hand removing a splinter from the right. And the love we are can, and often is, covered up by hangups, wounds, hurt, and painful stories.

Here too, we are in the same boat.

NOT NEW BUT POWERFUL WHEN LIVED

None of these views or pointers are new or especially complicated.

It’s pretty simple. And they are also quite powerful and transforming when lived.

How is it to select one of these and stay with it for a few hours, days, or even weeks? How is it to live from it in daily life?

What’s missing from this list? Which ones are especially alive for and important to you?

Perspectives on Trump

Thursday, 21 November, 2024Wednesday, 27 November, 2024 moe Leave a comment

Like many others, I have felt a need to process after the re-election of Trump, knowing what he wants to do, and knowing that he this time has plans and people in place to do it. (At least as far as is possible considering that he will receive pushback from democratic institutions and people who still support democracy.)

Here are some of the many perspectives on Trump and his followers that I find useful in that they seem accurate and kind. (Kind to myself!)

HAPPENING WITHIN AND AS WHAT I AM

It’s all happening within and as what I am. That’s the context for it all.

In my own first person experience, I am not most fundamentally this human self, a doer, and observer, or anything else within the content of experience. All of that comes and goes.

I find I more fundamentally am what it all happens within and as. The world, as it appears to me, happens within and as the consciousness I am. It happens within and as the oneness I am.

This is the insight of mystics across traditions and throughout time, and it’s what I find for myself as well.

This is the context of direct noticing.

THE PLAY OF LIFE

In the realm of stories, I can say this another way.

What we see unfolding in the world today is all the play of life.

It’s the unfolding of this universe and this living system we call Earth.

It’s the ephemeral and local expressions of this universe, Earth, and existence.

It’s existence expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself in this way, for a little while and locally here.

This living system we call Earth is expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself as all of this – as social dynamics, Trump, his supporters, those opposing him, me, the thoughts and feelings we have about it, and everything else.

It’s all the play of life. As far as I can tell, the purpose of existence and life is this exploration. It’s life expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself in always new ways, and this is one ephemeral and local way that it does so.

That’s the big picture context within the realm of stories.

SURVIVAL FOCUS, LACK OF EDUCATION, DISINFORMATION

We also have some of the specifics, for instance survival focus, lack of education, and disinformation.

Many have enough with surviving from day to day. They lack good education. And they are easy prey to disinformation.

That is, of course, part of the strategy for some politicians. They seek to erode K-12 education, keep higher education privatized and costly, do away with social safety nets, and create a citizenry that’s easy pray to disinformation.

Another part of their strategy is the “culture war” which is meant to distract from the far more important and fundamental issue of wealth inequality.

NEO-LIBERAL POLICIES

In the background are the neo-liberal policies implemented worldwide for some decades now, aimed at increasing the wealth of the already extremely wealthy at the cost of everyone else.

That creates dissatisfaction and large segments of the population that are easy prey to politicians who promote simple and misguided solutions, scapegoating, bigotry, and so on. We saw this in the UK with Brexit, and we are seeing it in the US now with Trump.

Although the neo-liberal ideology is relatively new, the dynamic of increasing wealth inequality and people falling for misguided solutions is not new.

THE ONES WHO VOTED FOR HIM DON’T AGREE WITH EVERYTHING

Although some voters may want the complete dystopian world Trump says he wants to create, many don’t.

They may vote for him because he is the supposedly “conservative” candidate, or they are in a squeeze with expenses going up faster than their wages and hope for a change (and don’t realize that they are experiencing a global problem that has little to nothing to do with Biden), or something else. They don’t know, or don’t want to know, all that Trump plans to do, or they think it’s political theater, or they naively think he won’t do it.

Trump won the majority of the votes, and that doesn’t mean that a majority of the population in the US agrees with, or even knows about, everything he wants to do.

WINNER-TAKES-ALL SYSTEM

The US has a winner-takes-all system which leads to a two-party system and polarization.

What we are seeing today is a consequence of this system combined with a fragmentation of the media and news landscape, massive disinformation campaigns, for-profit media that seek sensations and hype, and a significant portion of people receving their info from social media.

TRAUMA BEHAVIOR

What I see in Trump is trauma behavior. Hurt people hurt people. He responds to his own pain, wounds, and trauma with anger, denial, attacks, scapegoating, blame, victimhood, lies, and so on.

I also see trauma behavior among many who follow him.

Some feel they are allowed to deal with (distract themselves from) their own pain through xenophobia, misogyny, racism, and so on. They take his scapegoating as permission for them to act that way too, and it can feel like a relief. (Although it comes with a high cost, including that they don’t find healing for their own pain.)

Some are traumatized by authoritarian figures in their life, and deal with it by justifying it, joining in, and supporting an authoritarian politician. It’s familiar, feels safe, and allows for it all to continue.

Some have given up on mainstream politicians, and deal with their pain and disappointment by supporting someone who will disrupt the system. (Without too much thought of what will come.)

This is collective and intergenerational trauma. It’s the trauma of empire, of domination culture.

This trauma is created by the domination culture, and it perpetuates the domination culture. Collective and intergenerational trauma is part of how the domination culture perpetuates itself.

DOMINATION VS PARTNERSHIP CULTURES

The Trump phenomenon comes out of a culture of domination and power-over.

The origins of this, or at least the strong form, likely came with the agricultural revolution.

Before the agricultural revolution, we were all Indigenous. We lived in smallish groups, we were all more or less equal (apart from in abilities, knowledge, and so on), nobody owned much, we saw ourselves nature, we saw the sacred in everyone and everything, we had an intimate knowledge of the ecosystems we lived within, and so on.

With agriculture, some gained land, wealth, and animals, and others did not. At some point, the ones who had wealth felt a need to justify the wealth inequality, everyone likely felt the need to justify domination over land, plants, and non-human beings, and the ones who dominated other humans felt a need to justify that. They came up with a series of imaginations, and other people eventually bought into these imaginations. It became part of the culture and what new generations learned from early on in life. It became the water we swam in.

Some of these imaginations are: We are separate from nature. Nature is here for our use. We are inherently better than non-human beings and nature. We have a soul, other beings do not. The sacred is not here but somewhere else – in the sky, in a sky god, in the afterlife. You’ll get your reward in the afterlife so don’t bother changing the social order. If you are at the low end of the wealthy spectrum, it’s your fault – it’s because of karma, or laziness, or something else. Pretend to believe what someone tells you and you can’t test out for yourself, and you’ll be saved.

Nature is infinite, has infinite resources for us to use, and infinite capacity to deal with our waste. It’s fine to develop and use an economic system and other systems that assume infinite nature. We can do research on non-human animals because they are so similar to us, and we can mistreat them because they are so different from us. We can imprison and kill non-human animals for our use since they are unable to resist it, and we are more important than them.

We understand best by taking things apart to the smallest parts. A thought can capture a full, final, and absolute truth. If one thought is true, other perspectives are not. (Either-or thinking.) One end of most imagined polarities is good, desirable, and valuable, and the other end is bad, undesirable, or worth less. (Woman and men, adults and children, Europeans and non-Europeans, Christians and non-Christians, light and dark, heaven and hell, and so on.)

These are patently absurd ideas, and yet most people bought into it so it all seemed self-evident, how it is, and something we don’t question. The few who has questioned it have typically been ridiculed, shunned, ignored, or persecuted.

Western culture, and most agricultural societies, are over on the domination side of the domination-partnership spectrum. The US is quite strongly over on that side, not the least because they are an empire. Empires need to be far over on the domination side to survive. Trump is just an expression of this.

INGREDIENTS

The Trump presidency and what comes with it are part of life, they are part of the life that the ones of us alive now are living.

They are among the many ingredients in our life that we are here to make a meal out of.

What kind of meal would I like to make with these ingredients? How is it to look at it all as ingredients for a meal? How can I make it nourishing for myself?

A MIRROR

The world is my mirror. Whatever I see in the world is something I can find in myself.

I can take any story I have about Trump, his supporters, what will happen, and so on, turn it to myself, and find genuine and specific examples of how it’s true. It seems that even, or especially, in the moment I have the thought about someone else, it’s also true about me.

Even if my personality doesn’t like Trump or his policies, and what will happen during his presidency, it’s also a path to my own wholeness.

If I make use of him, and the world in general, as a mirror, it all becomes a way for me to consciously find and embrace more of the richness of who I am.

TONGLEN

Whenever I notice a dislike for someone or something, or distress in myself about something, it’s a reminder that I am caught up in something. I am out of alignment with reality.

I can just notice and relate to it a little more consicously, with perhaps some curiosity to see what comes up. I can take it to more structured inquiry. And one of my favorite explorations is tonglen.

I visualize the other (or myself) in front of me, with their suffering as black smoke. On the in-breath, I inhale that black smoke. And on the out-breath, I visualize breathing light into the person and the light fills them.

I can do this with someone my personality doesn’t like, like, myself, a part of me that’s suffering, and with individuals or groups or even humanity or Earth as a whole. (I sometimes also do it with all the living worlds I imagine throughout the universe.)

Often, I start with someone else, then include myself, and then include larger groups and the Earth as a whole.

Sometimes, I do just one or a few breaths as I go about daily life, and other times I set aside more time for it, especially before falling asleep or after waking up.

This is a powerful and transforming practice, and as I keep doing it and returning to it, it shifts how I relate to the world in general.

In this way, Trump and his followers becomes a reminder for me to do tonglen and allow that exploration to work on me.

LIFE GOES ON & LIVING WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE OF

No matter what, life goes on. This is just another of the many flavors of life.

I allow whatever emotions and reactions come up in me around Trump and what he does. It’s natural and healthy to feel a range of emotions in this situation. I notice these emotions are already allowed and noticed, and also notice whatever reactions come up in me in response to them, and that they too are allowed and noticed – long before any of it is conscious and before there is any intention here. I also remind myself that whatever reactions come up in me is the Earth and existence temporarily and locally responding that way.

I still get up in the morning, go about my day, and go to sleep in the evening.

My tasks are the same, including exploring projections, examining stressful thoughts, and living what I would like to see more of in the world.

In my case and these days, my projects include… Taking care of my health. (I have a chronic illness.) Befriending my experience. Being a good partner, as much as I can. Continuing with the regeneration, reforestation, and food forest project in the Andes.

For me, the main issue in the world today is our global ecological overshoot, and everything else ties into that. The regeneration project is a very small part of the solution, and it feels good to be part of that solution.

NOTICINGS & PERSPECTIVES AS MEDICINE

These are all medicine, or they can be depending on how I make use of them.

Noticing that all is happening within and as the clear awakeness I more fundamentally am is medicine to taking myself as something within content of experience. It reminds me of the more real context of it all as it appears to me.

Reminding myself of the systemic reasons for Trump – domination culture, neoliberalism, disinformation, trauma and so on – helps me see that none of what’s happening is really personal. It’s played out in people’s lives, of course, but the dynamics are much larger than any one of us. It’s medicine for taking it all as having mostly to do with individuals.

Seeing it all as ingredients helps me see that I can create a metaphorical meal out of it all, and seek to make it nourishing for me. It’s medicine for feeling it’s all happening to me and taking a more passive stance.

I can use it as a reminder for tonglen and other explorations. In that way, what’s happening is immensely valuable. It’s medicine for seeing it as (only or mainly) terrible.

Living my life and living some of the more life-centered alternatives is medicine for hopelessness.

Fragility: white, male, hetero, Christian etc.

Monday, 4 November, 2024Tuesday, 5 November, 2024 moe Leave a comment

I am curious about the white / male / heterosexual / Christian etc. fragility we see in the Western world these days.

MY CONSCIOUS VIEW

On the surface, I can’t relate to it so much. I love Woke. I love inclusivity. It’s something that so clearly benefits all of us.

I want to live in a more inclusive society and culture because it means I am more likely to be included as well – with all my many sides and weirdnesses.

Also, it doesn’t cost anything. It doesn’t take anything away from me. It doesn’t in any way diminish me or my life. On the contrary, it enhances and enriches my life.

A more vibrant society makes my life more vibrant.

(In a more real sense, I am – of course – doing exactly what I see in others. I’ll come back to that later.)

WHY THIS FRAGILITY?

Why do we see this fragility? Why do some seem threatened by others being acknowledged, honored, and included?

Why is it so terrible to lift up and include those who have been marginalized?

Why do you act as if it costs you something? Why do you act as if you are somehow diminished by it?

ONE ANSWER: YOUR SELF-WORTH IS IDENTITY-BASED

One answer is what the quote above points to.

Maybe you wouldn’t feel so emasculated by feminism if your manhood was rooted in something other than oppressing women.

If you place your value and self-worth in certain identities, and in those being magically “better” than other identities, then I can understand it.

You see yourself as white / male / hetero / Christian / human and so on. You feel better because you imagine that white is better than non-white, male is better than female (or other genders), Christian is better than non-Christian, or human is better than non-human. So if society says that non-white / female / LGBT+ / non-Christian / non-human is as good, you feel threatened. You feel that your self-worth – built on imagination and fantasies – is threatened.

I am a man. I feel good about myself because men are better than women. If women are treated as equals, it means I can’t feel good about myself in this way anymore.

I am hetero. (At least, I tell myself that.) I feel good about myself because I am hetero, and being hetero is better than LGBT+. If LGBT+ people are included as equals, it means I can’t feel good about myself in this way anymore.

I am Christian. I feel good about myself because I am Christian and Christianity is better than other religions. If non-Christians are treated as equals, it means I can’t feel good about myself in this way anymore.

I am human. I feel good about myself because I am human and humans are better than other species. If all species have equal value, I can’t feel good about myself in this way anymore.

SELF-WORTH BASED ON A ZERO-SUM VIEW

This seems to come from a zero-sum view of life. If you win, I lose. If I win, it means you need to lose.

That’s a sad way to look at life, and it clearly doesn’t have to be that way. Life is not set up that way.

REQUIRES MENTAL GYMNASTICS

It also requires an impressive amount of mental gymnastics to (a) identify as something, (b) see that as superior, (c) make yourself upset because the idea of being superior is threatened, (d) continuously remind yourself of all of this and put energy into it, (e) avoid looking at and questioning these dynamics and see if it makes sense, and (f) avoid looking at more life-centered alternatives to finding self-worth.

PARENTAL LOVE

I suspect it may also come from a lack of genuine and accepting parental love.

Most of us in the Western culture are wounded here. We experienced conditional love, so we didn’t learn to fully love ourselves with all our different parts and experiences. That’s something we have to learn and discover in our own life, often as adults.

If we are unable to love ourselves – genuinely and fully, then one way to deal with it is to put ourselves above others based on whatever identity we can use, typically one that is supported by common ideas in our particular culture.

FINDING SELF-WORTH IN OTHER AND MORE LIFE-CENTERED WAYS

Why not find your self-worth in another way? In finding genuine love for yourself, the different parts of you, and your experience.

In being a part of a community of explorers, no matter what label we put on it? In being someone who loves, no matter who we love? In being a human? In being part of this amazing and beautiful web of life?

In just being? A baby has infinite worth independent of identities, so why not you?

OTHER ASPECTS AT PLAY

Of course, this is not the whole picture. There are other ways to understand why someone feels threatened by a more inclusive society. It may be unusual to them and they prefer status quo. They may be used to being privileged, and now they no longer are. They may be used to having certain out-groups to denigrade and put down, and now they feel they are no longer allowed to do that.

None of these are mutually exclusive, and several of them feed into each other and are expressions of the same underlying dynamics.

DIFFERENT CULTURES

This will obviously look different depending on what culture we happen to live in.

If my culture is pathriarchical and I am man, I can use my identity as a manly man to feel better about myself. If my culture is Christian and I happen to be Christian, I can use Christianity to feel better about myself. If my culture is heteronormative, I can use a hetero identity to feel better about myself. If my culture is anthropocentric, I can use an identity as a human to feel better about myself.

Similarly, if I live in a mainly Muslim culture, I can use my identity as a Muslim to feel better about myself, as long as non-Muslims are seen – and treated – as inferior.

COLLECTIVE TRAUMA & TRAUMA PASSED ON THROUGH THE GENERATIONS

This is all related to collective trauma and trauma passed on through the generations.

One form of collective trauma is the trauma many of us live with because we live and breathe this culture. Pathriarcy, heteronormacy, anthropocentrism, and so on, traumatize all of us, and are – in a very real sense – an expression of trauma. Trauma is what perpetuates it.

That’s also how it’s passed on. We learn from our parents and other we grow up with. These ideas and this trauma is passed on through the generations, until someone notices, relates to it more consciously, and is able to find some healing for it and another way of living.

AGRICULTURAL REVOLUTION

I suspect these dynamics also largely come from the agricultural revolution.

Before the agricultural revolution, we were all indigenous. We were all mostly equal with a mostly equal status. We couldn’t amass things or material wealth. We saw the sacred in all. We saw ourselves as part of the web of life.

With agriculture came the possibility for some to amass material wealth and we got material and social inequality. To justify this, we needed to create ideologies that probably seemed very strange at the time and are very familiar – and even ordinary – to us today. We saw ourselves as separate from nature. We found ways to justify social inequality and social hierarchies. We saw the sacred out there in the sky and a sky god. We saw men as better than women. Humans as better than non-humans. Humans as separate from nature. And so on.

We created a lot of dynamics to control people and society. (Including ideas of heaven and hell, rewards in the afterlife, and so on.) We created ideas of polarities, and that one end of the polarity is good and the other bad. (Human and nature, human and non-human, men and women, spirit and matter, heaven and hell, whites and non-whites, hetero and non-hetero, and so on.)

We used these polarities, and the idea that one end is better than the other, to control society and people. At an individual level, we have used it to feel better about ourselves, as outlined above.

HOW DO I DO THE SAME?

The question here is: How – and where and when – do I do the same?

If I see it in them, it’s because I recognize it from myself.

Where do I create an identity for myself, pretend it’s better than something else, and feel threatened by the idea that it may not be better?

I do it a lot, including on this topic. I see myself as more woke, inclusive, insightful, kind, and so on. I see it as better than the opposite, so it means I am better than them. A part of me feel threatened by the idea that it may not be inherently better. (It clearly is not. Our ideas of better and worse are our ideas, they are not inherent in reality.)

ZEN VOW

I am reminded of a Zen vow from the Fusatsu ceremony: I vow not to elevate myself or put others down.

For most of us, me included, this is impossible to do all the time and in all situations, and that’s fine. Since we live in this culture, we are programmed to elevating ourselves by putting others down, one way or another, and this program runs in us whether we consciously want it or not, and whether we notice or not.

The precept is there to help us notice when we are doing it, and find some curiosity about it. When do I do it? What’s behind it? What do I hope to get out of it? What are the alternatives? Can I give to myself what I hope to get out of it in another way?

My ballot made me angry / I made myself angry when I saw the ballot: How I talk (& think) about what makes me angry – or whatever – makes a big difference

Monday, 4 November, 2024Wednesday, 6 November, 2024 moe Leave a comment

I saw a video in my YouTube feed titled My ballot made me angry.

That’s a normal way to talk about it in our culture. We put the cause out there in others or the situation.

It’s also misleading and somewhat unfortunate.

I MAKE MYSELF ANGRY

If I get angry when I see my ballot, it’s not because the ballot made me angry. It’s just a piece of paper with some black scribbles on it. It doesn’t have that power. I make myself angry from the way I am thinking about it, and how I relate to those thoughts.

Where I imagine the cause reflects and influences how I relate to the anger and the situation.

In the first case, I imagine or pretend or – at the very least – talk as if the cause is out there in others or the situation. I may tell ourselves that my reaction is justified. They created it in me. They caused it. I easily go into the blame game. I may see myself as the victim of someone or something.

In the second case, I remind myself that this is something I create for myself. It’s easier to take responsibility for it. I notice there is a shift in how I relate to it. I remind myself that I have some control there. I am not a victim. It’s up to me.

LANGUAGE IS IMPORTANT

This is why language is important.

If I say “I made myself angry when I saw the ballot”, it’s a clear reminder to myself and others that I created it for myself. It’s difficult to go into the blame and victim game. It invites more reflection and a more sane and mature way to relate to it.

That goes for any reaction. I make myself sad, scared, depressed, and so on. I make myself feel overwhelmed. I make myself elated, joyful, and blissful. I even make myself fascinated, passionate, or fall in love.

Of course, this is not something I always do consciously or intentionally. Sometimes, it “just happens”. And yet, it’s created by me. It’s created by my psyche.

The stories I tell myself about something make it happen. In many cases, it’s the stories parts of my psyche tell themselves that make it happen.

CURIOSITY

This language of ownership does another thing, and that is to make me curious about what’s going on.

When I say “I made myself angry”, it brings up curiosity.

How did I make myself scared? What story did I tell myself?

Where did that story come from? (Family, culture, an experience?)

What consequences does that story have? How does it make me see the situation? What does it bring up in me? How does it make me see myself?

Is it true? What’s genuinely more true for me?

What’s the validity in the reversals of the story? Can I find genuine and specific examples of that validity?

A SIMPLE ENTRY

Just by changing my language, a lot else can shift as well.

How is it to use the “I made myself…” language in this situation? How is it to use it with myself, in how I talk with myself about it? How is it to use it with another, a witness?

What does it open up for?

What becomes easier? (Maybe to own my response and explore the stories I tell myself about it?)

What becomes more difficult? (Maybe to go into the blame and victim game?)

Does it feel vulnerable? What am I afraid would happen if I use this language? I am afraid to lose the opportunity to blame and be a victim? I am afraid to be more naked with myself and others?

A SMALL CHANGE WITH A SNOWBALL EFFECT

This is an example of a small change that can have a big cumulative effect.

If I use the blame language, it leads to a cycle of blame, victimhood, and more. It leads to feeling that I don’t have control. It distracts me from looking at myself and how I relate to situations and my thoughts.

If I use the ownership language, it leads to a cycle of owning my own reactions and exploring these. It leads me to feel there is some control here. It leads to more authenticity.

This small change is, quite literally, life changing.

HOW IT IS FOR ME

I don’t always use this language, but it is often in the back of my mind.

If I use the conventional language, I often notice and translate it to a more honest language for myself. I explore how it is to do it, at the very least for myself, and sometimes also with others.

For me, it’s easier to do it with others if I feel they are receptive, but I wish to explore doing it more in general. There is no good reason to not do it.

Why do some support Trump even if they likely will be hurt by his policies?

Friday, 1 November, 2024Wednesday, 23 July, 2025 moe Leave a comment

Almost against my will, I find myself fascinated by why so many support Trump’s policies (and Project 2025), even if it will very likely hurt them¹.

WE ARE NOT ALWAYS RATIONAL

Why do some support Trump and his policies even if it will likely hurt them?

The short answer is likely that these things are not completely, or even mostly, rational. Or it’s rational in a way I am not aware of or wouldn’t call rational.

I tend to investigate, learn, and think through these things, and support and vote for the one(s) who seem to have the best policies for society as a whole, for ecology, and for future generations. So I – unconsciously and viscerally – assume it must be like that for others too, even if I know it’s not always that way. It’s not always that way for me, in other areas of life.

Why did many in Germany in the 1920s and 1930s support Hitler even if they (somewhere in them) must have known that his ideology – based on misinformation, hatred, and division – would lead them into dictatorship and disaster? It was certainly not just for rational reasons, or for reasons that fit my kind of rationality.

A GUESS: IGNORED BY THE POLITICIANS AND THE “ELITE”

Why do some support Trump even if his policies will likely hurt them?

The main reason may be that many feel let down by politicians and the “elite”. They feel overlooked, ignored, and left to fend for themselves. They don’t have good social safety nets. Their income may be below the poverty line even if they work two jobs. They see a few others earning huge amounts of money. They may see their bosses earning tens or hundreds or more times as much as they do, and apparently do less for it. They are aware of the enormous and increasing gap in income and wealth between the few wealthy and the many poor.

They know that mainstream politicians have done little to help them. Neither Democrats nor Republicans have taken this seriously, prioritized it, and done much about it. They know that policies often follow the interests of Big Money and that politicians are in the pockets of corporations and the super-wealthy. (Of course, there are politicians who take this seriously, but it’s limited what they can do because of the system they function within.)

This is nothing new, of course. This inequality and ideologies to justify it came with the agricultural revolution. It’s inherent in our system. The most recent form is the neo-liberalism made popular in the 1980s (Reagan, Thatcher) and continued until now. I have seen statistics saying that the wealth inequality in the US these days is similar to France before the French Revolution, and although there are several ways to calculate these things, I wouldn’t be surprised. They had their revolution, and the US has Trump.

I completely agree and sympathize with the frustration that inevitably comes with this dramatic inequality. At the same time, I don’t understand how Trump can be the solution (if anything, he is this problem on steroids), but I understand the desperation, frustration, anger, and despair that can lead someone to support a candidate who seems different and outside of the mainstream.

This also points to a solution to the Trump and emerging fascism problem in the US: Create good social safety nets. Tax the super-wealthy and use the money for the benefit of everyone. Make higher education tax-sponsored and free to the students. Implement good universal healthcare. (Far less expensive than the current system.) Encourage strong unions. Take the concerns of the working class seriously. Of course, this is easier said than done. Strong forces oppose this, and many ordinary citizens have been brainwashed to reject these solutions.

MORE GUESSES

What are some more specific reasons? Why do some support Trump even if his policies may hurt them?

Some may be guided by misinformation. They assume his economic policies will be good for them, and don’t realize that tariffs are ultimately paid by ordinary people and that the tax cuts go to the already extremely wealthy, not to them (their taxes are likely to go up).

Some may be seduced by his cheap scapegoating of minority groups. Instead of going into a real analysis of the problem, Trump blames immigrants and foreigners for the problems in the US. (A classic leaf out of the fascist playbook.)

Some know that he has a dislike or hatred for their group – women, people of color, immigrants, LGBT+ – but other things take priority for them. They may be loyal to the Republican party. They may be misled to think his economic policies will be good for them. Maybe they think his policies targeting these groups won’t affect them.

Some may assume that much of his rhetoric is political theater. He says a lot of weird things, and he won’t actually do it. They ignore Project 2025 and that he has a system, people, and plan in place to do exactly what he says he will do.

He says he will use the military against US citizens, he will persecute his political enemies, he will be a dictator from day one, he will consolidate power in the presidency, he will undo the normal checks and balances of democracy, he will limit the freedom of the press, he will replace civil servants with loyalists, and so on, and he won’t actually do it, in their mind. (Or maybe they naively assume it won’t matter that much.)

Some may see him as a strong leader or successful businessman and the right person to lead the country and don’t care much about his specific policies. Of course, he is not a strong leader. He is far too volatile, irrational, and egocentric to be a good leader. He is also far too enamored with authoritarian leaders abroad to be able to stand up to them.

He is also clearly not a successful businessman. Would a successful businessman have time or interest in signing on to a TV show? (The Apprentice.) Would a successful businessman have six bankruptcies?

Would a capable businessman have such a huge string of past and current lawsuits against him? Would a good leader have so many people from his previous administration go against him in public, calling him dangerous, unhinged, and fascist?

A few extremely wealthy may benefit from his economic policies, at least in the short term. It comes with a huge cost to the rest of society, and especially several minority groups, and they don’t seem to care enough about that to not support him.

They also don’t seem to care that his policies will very likely be damaging to the US – and US economy – in the long run. He alienates former allies, he loves tarrifs, he doesn’t support research or higher education, he wants to undo the fabric of society that makes the US work as well as it does.

Some may be contrarians. Most media, experts, and well-educated liberal people see Trump as deranged, unhinged, and fascist, so they want to support him just to poke the liberal elite in the eye. They prioritize this over supporting someone who, by all normal criteria, actually is a fascist.

Some may see someone who mirrors their own pain and hatred. He hates women, people of color, LGBT+, immigrants, and so on, and they do too. They are happy that he seems to validate their own hatred and don’t care much about anything else. Some within these groups may have internalized this hatred, even if they are the target. Some may also see themselves as the exception: Yes, I am a woman, person of color, immigrant, LGBT+, but I am not like others in that group.

Said another way, some may resonate with his trauma behavior. Trump is a living ball of trauma behavior. They too have trauma and choose to deal with it through going into anger, bigotry, us vs them thinking, blame, scapegoating, and so on, so they resonate with it in him. He is one of them. They don’t care so much about the rest.

Some may not know enough about history to realize that this is exactly how democracy dies. Trump’s approach fits all the hallmarks of fascism, and the shift into a dictatorship has often looked just like the Trump movement looks now.

Some, about half of us, have a genetic predisposition for conservatism. Some of these may lean towards supporting any conservative candidate independent of specifics.

Some say they want change just of the sake of change. They don’t care so much what kind of change. To me, this seems profoundly misguided.

Some may think that anything is better than what they have now. To me, that’s a clear trauma response. They don’t realize what they have and how much worse it can get. They likely don’t know enough history to understand, or they assume it won’t be that bad or that they won’t be affected.

Some see him as the Great Disruptor that will usher in something new. Yes, he will. At least, he will try, although the changes may not be what you wish to see or experience. His dystopian world may not be as amazing as you think or lead to the changes you wish to see.

Some see their privilege fading, as white Christians in an increasingly more diverse society. They are so attached to being on top of the hierarchy that they cannot bear being just one group of many. This is so important to them that they don’t care if they lose democracy, if large groups of innocent people are made to suffer, if their economy worsens, and so on.

Some may have a zero-sum mindset. They assume, perhaps based on personal painful experience, that if you win, I lose, and for me to win, you must lose. Trump embodies that zero-sum mindset. They overlook that the world is full of examples of win-win solutions where we all benefit. (The social safety net in the Nordic countries is one of many examples.)

WHAT’S RATIONAL TO ME MAY NOT BE RATIONAL TO YOU

I have my own ideas of what’s rational, and these reflect my own background and biases.

To me, it’s rational to find solutions – and support policies – that seem good for society as a whole, for the living systems we are part of, and for future generations. I support democracy since, although it’s a flawed system, it’s the best we have. I seek win-win-win solutions since they are better for all of us. I support inclusivity since a more inclusive society is better for all of us.

What’s rational for someone else may be different. As mentioned above, they may operate on misinformation. They may prioritize one or a few things, and ignore or be OK with the rest that comes with it. For them, that’s rational.

THE WORLD IS MY MIRROR

The world is my mirror, also here.

I can take any one of the stories I have about Trump or his supporters, turn it to myself, and find genuine and specific examples of how it’s true. Most likely, I can even find it in the moment I have these thoughts about them. I do what I see in them, at this moment.

That’s humbling, and it’s also amazing, liberating, and enlivening. It helps me find more of my own richness. It helps me relate to these sides of me with a little more awareness. It helps me see myself in them and erode my imagination of me versus them.

This is an ongoing process. My fascination, which I started with in this article, is a clear sign that there is more for me to explore and discover here. The fascination is a sign that I see something in them I am not so aware of in myself yet.

Also, all of this is happening within and as what I am. The consciousness I am forms itself into all of it.

THE UPSIDE OF TRUMP

What are some upsides of Trump?

He highlights the frustration among many about the growing inequality coming from decades of neo-liberal policies. He highlights how the working class feels left behind.

He highlights the weirdness of the US political system where one candidate wins the popular vote, and the other becomes president. (Because of the arcane, outdated, and essentially meaningless electoral college.)

He mirrors what’s in all of us. He shows us our shadow. (Whether we consciously notice, embrace, and make use of it is another matter.)

A Trump presidency will fuel a lot of effort to create a more life-centered and kind society. Many of us will channel our frustration into this kind of work. (I know it’s that for me.) It will create even more of a sense of urgency.

Who knows what social dynamics will be set in motion from a Trump presidency? In a slightly larger historical picture, it’s a blip, and we may see it as a transition leading into something more life-centered. (The question is if we have time for this now, considering we are in the middle of a global ecological crisis.)

We will still live our daily lives. Life moves on. Whatever he represents and creates will not last. There have been many like him throughout history, and they are soon left in the dust of history after some years or decades.

THE BIGGER PICTURE

There is a bigger picture here too.

The Universe forms itself into this living planet and us, including our politics and social dynamics.

It’s all part of existence expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself in always new ways.

It seems that the exploration is the point, not any particular outcome.

From another angle, we can say that this is Spirit taking all of these forms. It’s Spirit expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself in all of these ways.

It’s the play of existence. And just like a theater play, it’s the experience that’s the point.

NOTES

How may those voting for him be hurt by his policies? What are some examples of how they are voting against their interests?
(a) Latinos may be deported or have friends or family deported, even if they are legally in the US. Trump will seek to find ways to remove the protection even of many who are in the US legally, so they can be deported. This, of course, goes for all immigrants.
(b) Trump will find ways to erode the already weak social safety nets in the US. If you benefit from the Affordable Care Act (Obama-care), Medicaid, or similar, you may find you suddenly lost it.
(c) In general, Trump’s aim is to funnel money to the already super wealthy and away from everyone else. If you are not super wealthy, you will likely find you are in a worse financial situation.
(d) He is unhinged, and unhinged policies are generally not good for the society or economy.
(e) Although he seemed war-averse during his first term, that may change. Trump 2.0 will likely be quite different from Trump 1.0.
(f) If you live in the US, you’ll find that society becomes increasingly more polarized. That’s not good for anyone. (If you are bigoted, you may think so, but it’s not true.)
(g) If you are a worker, expect your worker rights to be eroded.
(h) If you have a child in school, or work in the public school system, expect the school system to be further weakened.
(i) If you like democracy, or the ability to speak up without fear of the consequences, or free press, expect all of that to get worse.
(j) Expect the US economy and position in the world to worsen over the coming years and decades through the gutting of science and education.
(k) Expect the US position in the world in general to worsen, through Trump’s bullying and mafia tactics in terms of international relations.
(l) Don’t expect much of a boost in terms of foreign students and visitors to the US. Most people around the world don’t like facism or countries that elect facist leaders.

These are just a few examples, and none of it is very difficult to predict. It comes naturally from his words, actions, and generally inclinations. It’s also a part of his playbook, Project 2025.

NOTE ON ELECTION DAY

It’s the morning of the election day in the US (November 5, 2024). The ones I follow predict (a) a clear win of the popular vote for Harris which doesn’t matter, and otherwise (b) a very close election that (c) can lead to a landslide in either direction because of the winner-takes-all system in the US, (d) and likely a very messy situation if Harris wins. How that messiness unfolds is anyone’s guess, although it will likely involve many legal cases, a politicized legal system, intimidation, possible violence, and so on.

Trump has, of course, set the stage by repeating that the previous election was stolen and that the only way he can lose this time is if they steal it again. This is another example of his habitual projections. He says that others are doing, or will do, what he is planning to do or are already doing.

I am also reminded that the US has a long history of undermining and overthrowing democracies and installing right-wing governments. Now, they may be doing it to themselves. I guess that’s a kind of karma. They are finally applying their habit to themselves.

UPDATE JULY 2025

It’s now July 5, 2025, and the “big bill” has been approved by congress. This bill is explicitly designed to fullen money to the already extremely wealthy (tax cuts for the rich) and cut programs that benefit everyone else, including the most poor.

There is nothing new here. This is what we knew Trump wanted to do, and what he had everything in place to do, long before the election. This is what Project 2025 is about.

Still, more than half of the voters in the US voted for him and these policies, and these changes that directly hurt most of them.

I haven’t written follow-ups to my 2024 posts about Trump because there isn’t much to say. What’s unfolding is what we knew would unfold, unless a miracle happened.

The ones who voted for him are hurt by his policies. It’s what we knew would happen.

Of course, we see that in many other areas of life. Daily, the vast majority of people vote for “business as usual” – with their lives, priorities, money, and in elections. They want us to go further into global ecological overshoot. They want the collapse of our civilization. That’s what they vote for through how they live.

They can’t say they didn’t know, because this information is widely available. They can’t say they thought someone else would take care of it, because that obviously isn’t happening. They can’t say they thought we had more time, because we are already in the middle of it.

Tonglen

Thursday, 31 October, 2024Sunday, 24 November, 2024 moe Leave a comment

Tonglen is one of the explorations I keep returning to.

It’s simple and beautiful.

HOW TO DO TONGLEN

Visualize someone. See the person in front of you. Imagine their suffering as dark smoke. On inhalation, breathe in that dark smoke. (I like to imagine it transforming to light.) On exhalation, breathe out light that fills the person.

Do this with someone you like, are neutral to, or dislike. It can be someone you know in person or not. It can even be an imaginary person or someone from a dream. It can be one person or a group. It can be yourself too, or a distressed part of you.

If I notice I have a dislike for someone, I often do tonglen with that person, and after a while include me. I also do it for all beings, for the living system we call Earth and even all life in the Universe. (I assume there are other living systems out there.)

I also like to do it with a series of people, taking a few breaths with each and more if I notice something unresolved. I may start with my immediate birth family, then distant birth family, and then go through the timeline of my life and do it with anyone who shows up. If there is a sense of something unresolved, I either spend as much time as needed for a shift or I make a mental note to do more tonglen with that person (or group) later.

ORIGINS

Tonglen comes from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition and I remember reading, a long time ago, that some say it’s all you need. It’s all you need for awakening and embodiment. I suspect that may be close to reality.

If I had to recommend just one lifetime practice to someone, it would likely be tonglen. (Or basic meditation if the person is inclined that way.)

MY EXPERIENCE WITH TONGLEN

I started exploring tonglen in my teens, have gone deeply into it in periods, and regularly return to it.

I notice it becomes a new orientation and new habit. In periods where I do it more, it also seems to be ongoing, as if it runs in the background.

In a practical sense, it shifts my relationship to people in my life. It does release something. It makes it a little easier. My system seems lighter in the relationships.

It also shifts my relationship with myself – with the different parts of me and my experience. The way I relate to others is the way I relate to myself.

More fundamentally, it’s all happening within my sense fields. It’s all happening within and as what I am. It’s all about healing the relationship of this human self (the mental representations of this human self) with other beings (the mental representations of other beings).

The consciousness I am forms itself into the appearances all of it… a human self here with a strained relationship with someone, the tonglen process, the shifts, and so on.

The image is by me and Midjourney.

Do you see me as a human?

Tuesday, 22 October, 2024Wednesday, 6 November, 2024 moe Leave a comment

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One of the strategies of Trump, and fascists in general, is to use dehumanizing language. He thrives on creating out-groups and dehumanizing them so they can be scapegoats. He also uses dehumanizing language to describe his political opponents.

The question for me is: How do I do the same?

Am I doing it in my mind with Trump and his followers? Do I dehumanize them? Do I make them into caricatures in my mind?

Do I sometimes forget they are humans like me? With an equally rich inner life as me? With fears, hopes, dreams, hurts, wounds? Wanting to be free of suffering?

Do I sometimes forget they love and express kindness in other areas of life?

Yes, when I get caught up in my own scary stories about them, I temporarily do. I make them into caricatures. I dehumanize them.

And when I notice, I remind myself that these are real and full human beings with as rich inner life as me.

Their dehumanization and scapegoating is an expression of their pain and hurt. Hurt people hurt people.

That doesn’t make it any more acceptable, but it helps me understand them better and see them as humans first and foremost.

It also reminds me that they more essentially are consciousness, just like me. In their case, expressed through that particular body and psyche, with all its history, pain, and trauma.

We share collective trauma, just from living in this civilization. I can definitely relate to that.

We are all temporary and local expressions of this amazing living system we call planet Earth. We are the local eyes, ears, thoughts, and feelings of the universe.

When I dehumanize them, I dehumanize the parts of me they mirror. I marginalize these parts of me. I deepen their hurt. Instead, I can notice and embrace these parts of me. I have hurt in me. I sometimes respond to that hurt by scapegoating and dehumanizing. How is it to notice? To meet it with kindness? How is it to notice and allow? To ask these parts of me what they want, and give it to them? (Acceptance, noticing, kindness, love, support.)

A terrible person

Friday, 4 October, 2024Friday, 4 October, 2024 moe Leave a comment

Yesterday, I was with someone in our local town, Barichara, and she said “he is a disgusting man” about someone we saw.

I didn’t ask for details, but I have my own stories about it.

TRAUMA BEHAVIOR

What I saw was a local man, likely a farmer, who seemed to have lived a hard life.

If he does or says something that some see as disgusting, I imagine it comes from that hard life. He may have been abused as a kid. He may resort to alcohol to deal with it. And so on.

These things are typically passed on through generations.

He is still responsible for his own behavior and life, of course, as we all are. It’s the responsibility of people in his life to set boundaries and not accept harmful behavior from him.

And yet, this universal perspective does give me empathy for him, and it makes it all a little less personal.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF COLONIALISM

Since we are in the Andes and Latin America, this pattern that’s likely passed on through generations is connected to something even more universal and impersonal, and that’s colonialism. Colonialism harms everyone – colonizers and colonized. It creates a hard and uncaring society. It’s a big part of the reason for the big gaps between the few wealthy and the many poor here.

When I see this man, I see someone living with the consequences of colonialism.

HE IS A MIRROR FOR ME

I also see more. I know that what I see in him is also in me. It may take another form, but the essence is the same. I can take any story I have about him, no matter how terrible, turn it to myself, and find specific and genuine examples of how it’s true. Very likely, I am doing the same I see in him in the very moment I have these stories about him.

TO ME, HE HAPPENS WITHIN AND AS WHAT I AM

Also, he and the rest of the world and this human self happen within and as what I am. It’s all the consciousness I am forming itself into all these experiences. I am, in a direct and literal way, him as he appears to me.

Surrounded by idiots etc. and finding it all here

Friday, 4 October, 2024Sunday, 6 October, 2024 moe Leave a comment

I have seen these books in bookstores and have no idea what they are about. I assume the title is a hook and the content is either pragmatic pointers for how to deal with challenging situations, noticing and owning that we are what we see in others, or both.

SUSTAINABILITY AS AN EXAMPLE

I am what I see in the world. For instance, I have been passionate about sustainability since my mid-teens and also exploring projections, so I am very aware that I am doing what I see in others – whether it’s the topic of sustainability or anything else. I also seek out and use worldviews that are inclusive of this.

A SYSTEMS VIEW ON OUR ECOLOGICAL CRISIS

Our ecological crisis is created by the system we all live within. We live in a civilization that assumes that nature is infinite, which is ecocidal and suicidal considering that we are more than 8 billion people and have advanced and efficient technology.

That means that I live a life that’s as destructive to our planet as anyone. It’s almost inevitable considering the systems we all live within. My life is very likely more destructive than most since I live a Western lifestyle with flying long distances, owning not only one but two cars (one in the Andes and one in Norway), and consumption of things I don’t need. Most people in the world don’t have the resources to have such a large ecological footprint. In that context, that I eat organic and local food when I can, take public transportation when I can, have a tiny reforestation and food forest project in the Andes, and so on, is a drop in the bucket. In the bigger picture, my life is more destructive to the planet than that of the vast majority of the world’s population.

When I see people who don’t seem to care much about sustainability, I see myself. It’s a reminder that we live in a system that’s inherently destructive to our planet. It’s a reminder that I too live in this system and are part of the problem, whether I want to or not, and whether I do tiny things here and there to try to counter it.

This perspective makes it all far less personal. It’s about the system. Our current system was developed at a time when our numbers were small and our technology less powerful, so we could assume an infinite nature. We just happen to still operate with that system even if our situation is dramatically different. In that context, it’s all far more innocent – although the destruction is no less real.

ORDINARY PROJECTIONS

Then there is the ordinary and more universal way to explore projections.

I can take any story about the world – in this case, people who live and act in a way that’s harmful to our planet – turn it to myself, and find genuine and specific examples of how I am doing the same. It’s not difficult to find these examples. (The Work of Byron Katie.)

It’s a relief to find these examples, take it in, and allow my images of myself, others, and the world to align with this information. It removes any strong sense of me vs others, or me vs the world. We are all in the same boat. What I see in others and the world is also what I have in myself. It’s what I am living too.

There are many other ways to explore projections, of course, including tonglen which is another of my favorites.

This type of projection is the conventional psychological projection. Whatever characteristics and dynamics I see in the world mirror the same in me and in my life. It may take another form, and it may look and be expressed quite differently, but the essence here and there is the same.

A MORE ESSENTIAL PROJECTION

There is a more essential projection: My mental field creates an overlay on the world. It interprets everything and has stories about everything. Even simple labels – man, woman, sustainability – are assumptions in themselves and typically have a large number of other stories and assumptions connected with them. Even the idea of a world with a mental field overlay is, in itself, created by the mental field. It’s all made up of mental images and words.

My world of images and words is projected onto the world, and it’s projected onto a world that is itself a projection.

THE WORLD IS WHAT I AM

Even more essentially, it’s all happening within and as what I am. The world, to me, happens within and as what I am. The consciousness I am forms itself into all content of experience, including this human self, others, situations, the wider world, states, emotions, ideas, and so on.

What I see in the world not only mirrors what’s in me, at a human level. It’s not only created by my mental field trying to make sense of the world. It is – in a very direct and literal sense – what I am.

The world, as it appears to me, is what I am. The consciousness I am forms itself into it, and it’s inherently ephemeral and always changing.

ALL TOGETHER

It’s all valid in its own way.

Yes, some are more focused on sustainability than others and that’s important and part of the deep systemic change that’s required for us to create a more sustainable civilization.

Since I live within this system, and since I have a Western lifestyle, I am not doing much better than anyone else. In reality, I am very likely in the worst few percent since most in the world involuntarily have a much smaller ecological footprint.

Whatever story I have about anyone in terms of sustainability – or anything else – is a story I can turn to myself and find genuine and specific examples of how it’s true. I do and live what I see in others.

My mental field creates my stories about the world, down to the most basic labels and assumptions.

The world, as it appears to me, happens within and as what I am. The consciousness I am forms itself into all of it. I am – directly and literally – it.

All of this together is a relief. It’s a relief because it’s a bit closer to reality than assuming I am somehow better than others, or blaming myself or others for something that’s an inevitable feature of our current system, or pretending that my stories about the world somehow reflect some final, full, or absolute truth, or pretending that my perception of the world is the world itself.

This frees me up to do more for the Earth. It frees me up to focus more on this reforestation and food forest project which is immensely important for all the beings that live their lives here and will live their lives here.

THE BOOKS

Back to the books by Thomas Eriksson: If they really are about how to deal with people we label idiots etc., I assume they have some practical approaches to deal with them. What I write about here is an addition to and a different context for that.

We can use different pragmatic approaches to deal with challenging situations. We can understand it in a context that’s more real, and kind, and makes it all a little more universal and impersonal. We can work on noticing and owning projections. We can notice how our stories are created by our mental field. And we can notice how the world, to us, happens within and as the consciousness we are.

I should also mention that if the title of the books is to be taken literally – if we think we are surrounded by idiots, narcissists, etc. without seeing it also in ourselves – it’s very likely that others see us as an idiot, narcissist, or whatever it is. We inevitably live out what we don’t recognize in ourselves, and others pick up on it.

Anais Nin: We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are

Friday, 20 September, 2024Sunday, 22 September, 2024 moe 3 Comments

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.
– Anais Nin

This is true in a couple of different ways, as who we are and what we are.

WHO WE ARE

Our perception of the world reflects who we are. It says more about us than the world.

We perceive through the stories we identify with, so these stories say something about who we take ourselves to be.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: People don’t seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.

I can take any story I have about the world, turn around to myself, and find specific and genuine examples of how it’s true. I can find in myself what I see in others and the world.

WHAT WE ARE

To me, the world happens within and as the consciousness I am.

To myself, I am not most fundamentally this human self, I am consciousness.

The consciousness I am forms itself into the world as it appears to me. I see things as I am.

All I have ever known is the consciousness I am, taking all these many forms.

GROWING UP

Growing up means recognizing that we don’t see things as they are but as we are, and that’s an ongoing and deepening process.

It’s a process supported in the usual ways, mainly life experiences combined with receptivity and sincerity.

It can also be supported by therapy and dialog, and practices like parts work (Big Mind process, Voice Dialog, IFS), inquiry (The Work of Byron Katie, Kiloby Inquiries), basic meditation (notice and allow), heart-centered practices (tonglen, ho’oponopono), body-inclusive practices, and more.

GETTING IT AND NOT GETTING IT

We can get this and not get it at the same time.

We can get it in a general way and when issues are not too strongly triggered.

Sometimes, issues and wounds get triggered and we “forget” for a while, until things calm down and we are able to recognize and explore it.

Similarly, in some areas of life, we may have deep enough wounds and identifications with these wounds so we are caught up in issues without recognizing it, or we recognize it but it feels too difficult to fully acknowledge.

That’s why it’s an ongoing process.

HERE AND NOW

And really, it’s only here and now.

Do I get it here and now? Do I get it in this situation?

Do I notice that it’s my story about the world I am experiencing and reacting to?

Can I find in myself what I see in the other and the wider world? Can I find the story I have about them, turn it to myself, and find specific and genuine examples of how it’s true, here and now?

Do I notice it’s all happening within and as the consciousness I am?

Gender diversity and fluidity in all of nature

Thursday, 1 August, 2024Thursday, 1 August, 2024 moe Leave a comment

Anyone who knows something about nature knows there is a great deal of gender diversity and fluidity everywhere.

HERMAPHRODITIC AND TRANSSEXUAL MAYA NUT TREES

For instance, I am learning more about the Maya nut tree (guáimaro) these days. It has four genders: Trees with (a) Female flowers, (b) male flowers, (c) female and male flowers (hermaphrodites), and (d) female flowers for the first years and later male flowers (transgender). The last one is likely because it makes evolutionary sense for older and taller trees to be male since they can spread the pollen further than shorter and younger trees.

It’s not unique to guáimaros. This and more is found in a great variety of plant species.

HOMOSEXUALITY AMONG A VARIETY OF SPECIES

Similarly, homosexuality is common in a wide diversity of species. It’s often observed, and less often reported. “Of 65 researchers working on 52 different species, 77% had observed same-sex sexual behaviour, such as mounting or genital stimulation, but only 48% had collected data and just 19% had published their findings, according to the study in PLOS One.”

What we see in humans – all the LGBT+ – is normal in other species as well and both in the animal and plant realms.

THE DIVERSITY OF LIFE IS WHAT MAKES OUR LIFE POSSIBLE

To me, this universal diversity is fun and interesting. I love the diversity and richness in life.

It’s what makes life possible and it’s what supports our life.

WHY DOES IT SEEM THREATENING TO SOME?

So why does it seem threatening to some?

They seem scared by it, and may not know how to deal with that fear in a healthy way.

They may have a fragile sense of self.

They may be scared of being judged for whatever is in them, so they instead turn around and judge others. They do it in an attempt to feel safe.

I imagine it’s a stressful and painful way to live. It must seem precarious.

To me, it also seems entirely pointless, a waste of energy, and a distraction from far more important issues like our global ecological overshoot. And I also understand that, for them, it’s somehow necessary until it isn’t.

Humanizing villains

Sunday, 30 June, 2024Sunday, 30 June, 2024 moe Leave a comment

There is a lot here.

I would say that one important benefit of humanizing villains is that it’s more true. We are all diverse and rich and have many sides to us. Some of the worst villains in history – and the ones who did the most horrendous things – were good fathers, husbands, friends, and so on. We are all infinitely more than what any, or all, labels or identities can capture.

Few of us are villains in our own story. We typically think we are doing the right thing. (Unless we have created an image of ourselves as a terrible person and do our best to live up to it.)

Whether someone sees us as a villain or not obviously depends on perspective. I think Simba the cat is cute, while the bird he is hunting will likely not agree. My neighbor with the noisy machines and the manicured garden likely thinks he is a good citizen, and I see the end of civilization in his mindset.

Humanizing the villains makes the story more interesting, whether we call it a story of reality or fiction. It makes it richer and more nuanced and there is more to explore and discover in and through it.

Humanizing the villain makes him or her more relatable. As the quote suggests, we can more easily see ourselves in the position and role of the villain. We realize it could be us, in another life, in another set of circumstances (as Sting says).

More to the point, the world is my mirror. I can take whatever story I have about anyone or anything or any situation, turn it to myself, and find genuine and specific examples of how and when it is true. I am what I see.

There is another sense I am what I see. My world is happening within me. It’s happening within my sense fields. What I am to myself – what a thought may call consciousness – forms itself into the world as it appears to me. My world is, in an immediate and literal sense, me. (And it always changes. It’s always new and fresh.) There is no separation. There is no “I” or “other” separation could come from.

Why would some not want to explore this? Why can it seem like a threat to humanize a villain? I assume that if we are used to a black-and-white view of the world, and casting some as villains and others (likely ourselves included) as heroes, it can be confusing to shift perspective. It may go against our subculture. It may require a big shift not only in our perception but in our life. Also, it would require us to find ourselves in the villain, which will dislodge our familiar identities and require us to find other and more inclusive identities. (None of which are what we more fundamentally are.)

The reality is that even if we try to make the world fit neat little boxes of villains and heroes, we still see ourselves as both. We see ourselves as heroes in some areas of life and some situations, and as villains in other areas of life and in other situations, whether we admit that to ourselves and others or not. The reason we do this is that it’s true and somewhere in us, we know it. We know all can be found in our life.

If I have resentment towards someone, I may see myself as a villain in that situation and area of life. Somewhere in me, a part of me says that having resentment is not kind, it’s not what a kind person would do, so I – sometimes secretly – see myself as a villain. If I squash a bug, I know that from the bug’s perspective, I am a murderer, and it’s true. If I eat meat, it’s the same. We know this. We know we – in some situations and some areas of life and from some perspectives – take on the role of a villain. So why not acknowledge it? If it’s already here, that makes more sense.

As we explore this, the labels of villain and hero, and really any other label, start to be recognized as labels and not much more. They are convenient pointers, at most.

What’s the purpose of dreamwork?

Friday, 14 June, 2024Friday, 28 June, 2024 moe Leave a comment

A while ago, I talked with someone engaged in a particular form of dreamwork. They said that the women in their group tend to express themselves as more feminine – with long hair and skirts – after doing dreamwork for a while.

I was slightly surprised. To me, dreamwork means to be more fluid and embrace more sides of ourselves. It means to explore many different sides, perhaps at different times in life. It means to be more authentic, which will change over time and can look many different ways and sometimes won’t follow stereotypical gender norms.

It’s a reminder that what we see as the purpose of dreamwork may differ between groups and people, which is – of course – good. Diversity means we can learn from each other.

THE PURPOSE OF DREAMWORK

What do I see as the purpose of dreamwork?

For me, it’s to get to know more and more sides of myself (who I am), become more familiar with my nature (what I am), and find more fluidity with it all.

THE WORLD IS MY MIRROR

The world is my mirror, so everything I see in the world is something I have in myself. Whatever story I have about someone or something in the wider world, I can turn to myself and find specific examples how how and when it’s true.

I can find and embrace those parts of myself and relate to them more consciously. That gives me a far more rich and fluid sense of myself, and when I find in myself what I see “out there”, it helps me relate to it in a more conscious way.

MY WORLD HAPPENS WITHIN WHAT I AM

Also, the world as it appears to me happens within and as what I am.

To myself, I am fundamentally consciousness. The consciousness I am forms itself into the world as it appears to me.

Night dreams and waking life are no different in that way. So the way I relate to others and the world is how I – directly, immediately, and literally – relate to myself.

OTHER SIDES OF DREAM WORK

Dreams show me what’s at the edge of what I am consciously aware of. It’s an invitation to be a little more aware of something at the edge, perhaps to recognize that I know something I previously wasn’t aware of knowing.

Dreams can show me what’s happening in my energy system. They can reflect and make it into images and stories. For instance, if I have done energy work on myself (often Vortex Healing), my dreams often reflect that process the following night.

Dreams can also, in some cases, say something about the future. These dreams seem to have a quite different quality than regular night dreams. I have had five or ten of these kinds of dreams. (I dreamt I would live in Oregon several years before I, for completely different reasons, found myself living there. I dream I would live in the northern part of South America, near a very particular school, and many years later – again for completely different reasons – found myself living there and next to the school from my dream. I dreamt my cat in Wisconsin would be hit by a car and die, I kept him inside for several days, and when I let him out again, he was killed by a car that day. And so on.)

THE EFFECTS OF DREAMWORK

For me, this means that I find more of my inner richness. I become more aware of my inner richness which is literally as rich as the world. It doesn’t make me more of something in particular. It makes me more of everything. It helps me find and explore many more sides of myself, many of which may not conform to norms and expectations. It means to paint outside of the lines.

HOW THIS LOOKS FOR ME

I have to admit that I may appear relatively conventional in my clothing. That’s because I still have quite a bit of social anxiety and find it easier to not draw too much attention to myself. If I felt freer, I would likely use a lot more colors and vary between traditional masculine and feminine clothes (including skirts), find more androgynous styles, and sometimes have fun dressing in a far more eccentric way. I don’t at all justify my conformity here since I know it largely comes from my response to my social anxiety.

Even if I am a white European male, my views often align with those more typically found among women, non-Europeans, minorities of different kinds, and even indigenous people. (Although I don’t pretend I understand their situation or worldviews very well.) Even my illness is more often found among women.

In more important aspects of life than physical appearance, I hope I am following what’s authentic for me. I moved to South America to start a permaculture food forest and regeneration project. I will get rid of the water toilet in my little house and instead install a composting toilet. I plan on growing as much of my own food as possible. And so on. This is what feels good and right to me, and what’s aligned with what I see as most important in the world today.

I am not doing this just because of dreamwork, of course, but it is supported by my general exploration of projections and my inner richness, finding my real priorities, and so on.

Image created by me and Midjourney

My neighbors the Pentecostals

Friday, 17 May, 2024Sunday, 19 May, 2024 moe Leave a comment

My neighbors here in Norway are Pentecostals. It’s a Pentecostal meeting house with one or two caretakers living there, and they have a gathering in their garden as I write this.

A part of me likes to think I am somehow “better” or “more advanced” than them. They are there believing whatever they are told, and I am here doing these advanced practices. They are maybe at red or blue in Spiral Dynamics, I am perhaps at the integral level. And so on.

A few things stand out to me: (a) This part of me that likes to think I am somehow “better” does so to make me feel better about myself. It tries to compensate for feeling less than, which has been a part of me since early in life. (b) There is a lot more to life than what spirituality or practices we do, or where we happen to be on the Spiral Dynamics model. (c) I cannot know. I cannot know any of this. Any ideas about better or more advanced are just that, ideas. They are ideas made up by this feeble mind having lots of questions about the world, and those ideas are questions too.

I really don’t know anything about them. Some of them may be doing far more good practical things in the world than me. Some may help others far more than I do. Some ar likely far more kind than I am. Some are likely more wise in a practical sense than I am. Some are likely far more human and genuinely humble than I am. Some may have healed far more than I have. Some likely have far more open hearts than I do. This is very likely true.

I am not better than them. The idea of “better” is created by this human mind, it’s not inherent in reality. And if I were to have ideas about better and worse, many of them would likely be far better than me in many very important areas of life.

It’s a burden to have ideas about being better, just like it’s a burden to have ideas about being worse. It’s a burden because it’s not aligned with reality. It’s an idea invested with a sense of being true.

When I find what’s more true for me, it’s a relief.

It relieves me from having to remind myself about the ideas of being better and trying to prop those up and defend them. It relieves me from having to mentally put on a mask created by ideas to try to feel better about myself. It relieves me from the separation created by holding these ideas as reality itself.

It helps me see myself in them. It helps me see we are all fellow humans and fellow creatures that essentially want the same. It helps me find love for them.

Who am I?

Saturday, 11 May, 2024Wednesday, 15 May, 2024 moe Leave a comment

Who am I?

As with most important questions, it’s more about the exploration than anything else. The answers are reports from here and now, they will change, and they are questions rather than statements.

MY CONVENTIONAL IDENTITY

If I were to answer that question, I could start with the obvious: name, conscious and public identities, and so on. That’s the boring answer.

More interesting are my conscious interests, passions, and values. What’s important to me? What do I value?

If I trace my desires and wishes back to what I really hope to get out of them, what do I find? What’s the essence in them for me?

THE WORLD IS MY MIRROR

An even more interesting answer is that I am everything I see in the world.

Whatever story I have about anyone or anything is a thought I can turn around to myself and find genuine examples of how it’s true. I am, quite literally, as rich as the (my) world.

I may only see it “out there” and miss out on it in myself. And when I find it in myself, it enriches how I see myself and it allows me to relate to and make use of it more consciously.

THE WORLD AS A SEAMLESS WHOLE

The universe is a seamless system, and I am an intrinsic part of that system. As Carl Sagan said: I am the local eyes, ears, thoughts, and feelings of the universe. I am the universe bringing itself into consciousness. I am the local product of 13.8 billion years of evolution. I am the Universe and the Earth experiencing itself. I am the Earth taking delight in itself, grieving itself, protecting itself, and so on.

This is as much or more part of my identity as the individual aspects.

THIS ALL BELONGS TO CONTENT OF EXPERIENCE

These are all objects in experience. They all come and go. They are visitors.

What is it that does not come and go? That question brings me from who I am (this human self) to what I am.

WHAT I AM: WHAT MY WORLD HAPPENS WITHIN AND AS

Here, I find I am what this field of experience happens within and as. I am the awakeness taking all these forms. I am the awakeness the world, to me, happens within and as.

This is not a special awakeness. It’s the awakeness inherent in consciousness. It’s the awakeness I assume every single “conscious being” – from humans to ants – are to themselves. It’s what’s already here.

WHAT I AM: CAPACITY

Even more fundamentally, I find that my nature is capacity for all of it. It’s capacity for consciousness and all the different forms consciousness takes.

AN ONGOING EXPLORATION

All of this is an ongoing exploration.

How does my conventional identity change? What feels more right now?

What’s the essence of the different wants, desires, and inclinations in me? What do I hope to get out of it? What do I hope to get out of that? What do I find when I follow the chain back to a simple – and universal – essence? How can I give that to myself?

What stories do I have about others and the world? Which stories have a charge? Which stories are painful? What do I find when I explore these stories? Can I find genuine and concrete examples of how the story fits me? How is it to own it? How is it to notice and relate to it in myself more consciously?

What am I more fundamentally, in my own first-person experience? How is it for it to notice itself? How is it to rest in and as that noticing? How is it to live from and as it?

Sonder: The profound feeling of realizing that everyone has a life as complex as one’s own

Tuesday, 7 May, 2024Wednesday, 15 May, 2024 moe Leave a comment

This is a neologism created by John Koening. (See the CBC article What does it mean to ‘sonder?’ Author invents new words that resonate during the pandemic.)

This can be taken as a pointer and not just a description.

WHEN I USE IT AS A POINTER

As a pointer, I find it profoundly transforming to the extent I take it in and allow it to work on me.

What happens when I take it in?

No matter how well I think I know someone (including myself), I find that…

My images and ideas of the other are questions about them. They seem almost pointless. The other is so much more than any of those ideas. They are necessarily very different from those ideas. My assumptions are almost certainly wrong, and superficial, and say more about me than them.

No matter how much I get to know others and myself, I hardly know anything. And that’s beautiful. That helps me hold my ideas more lightly and recognize them as questions. We are all far more and different, and most of it is outside of what I (tell myself I) know.

IF I KNEW MORE ABOUT THEM

There is a related insight here:

If I knew more about them and their life, I would see them very differently. I may have far more understanding and find far more empathy for them. I would likely genuinely wish them the best.

If I also knew more about myself, I would see myself in others far more easily.

So why wait? Why not go there right now, even if I don’t know so much about others (or myself)?

Why not recognize that my stories about them are incomplete, likely quite wrong, and say more about me than them? Why not find curiosity about them (and me)? Why not realize that we are immensely complex and rich and live rich lives? Why not find empathy for others and myself? Why not genuinely wish them and me the best? Why not find in myself what I see in others? Why not see in others what’s in me?

HOW TO INVITE THESE SHIFTS

How would I do that?

The reminder itself may be enough. When I remember that the experience of others is as rich and complex as mine, I can easily imagine it. (It’s an intentional use of projections.)

Otherwise, the obvious one is to get to know others more thoroughly, especially the ones I see as quite different from myself. For instance, I can take in stories about others – through conversations, books, movies, theater, and so on. (John Koening is an author, and writing books is another since it requires us to imagine into the rich lives of several others.)

There is also a range of structured explorations that invite in these shifts as a side-effect: Inquiry (The Work of Byron Katie, Kiloby Inquiries), projection and shadow work, parts work (Voice Dialog, Big Mind process), and heart-centered practices (tonglen, ho’oponopono, metta).

What are you painting? It’s a self-portrait

Monday, 4 March, 2024Monday, 4 March, 2024 moe Leave a comment

A man walks up to Tove Janson painting a dramatic nature scene.

What are you painting?

It’s a self-portrait.

I am watching Tove, a movie about Tove Janson, the Finnish author and artist who is the mother of the Moomins. I love it so far, and especially that scene.

Whatever we create is a self-portrait, even if it’s just walking down the street or drinking a glass of water.

More than that, anything in our world is a self-portrait.

The way I interpret and perceive something says something about me. It reflects my background, experiences, biases, orientation, dreams and hopes, hangups, and so on. (It reveals something about me.)

Whatever story I have about it, I can turn it around to myself and find specific and genuine examples where it fits. I can find any dynamics and characteristics I see in the wider world also in me. (I find The Work of Byron Katie very helpful here.)

To me, it’s happening within and as what I am. My world is happening within and as the consciousness I am. The consciousness I am forms itself into all of it. In that way too, anything is a self-portrait. (This comes from my nature noticing itself.)

Why do we crave mystery? Do we crave the mystery we already are?

Saturday, 3 February, 2024Friday, 8 March, 2024 moe Leave a comment

I saw a brief comment from someone who has dedicated his life to the unexplained – UFOs, cryptids, and so on.

That’s understandable and it’s good that some explore those things.

WHAT IS NOT UNEXPLAINED?

At the same time, I am sitting here wondering: What is not unexplained?

To me, it seems that all without exception is unexplained. It’s inherently a mystery.

WHY IS THERE SOMETHING RATHER THAN NOTHING?

That anything is at all is a profound mystery.

How come there is something rather than nothing?

That’s something thoughts cannot even begin to answer or get a grasp on.

A MYSTERY TO MYSELF

I am a mystery to myself.

When I notice my nature, I find myself in and as that mystery.

I rest in and as that mystery.

MYSTERY IN A CONVENTIONAL SENSE

Everything is a profound mystery, even that which is the most familiar to us and that which our thoughts have lots of stories about.

Reality is always more than and different from our ideas about it.

Thoughts are questions about the world. Thoughts are different in nature from what they point to. (Unless they happen to point to thoughts.)

In a conventional sense, we only scratch the surface in terms of understanding anything. There is always an infinite amount more to learn and explore.

There are always different contexts and worldviews to understand it within, which make as much or more sense than the ones we are familiar with now, and which would turn it all upside down and inside out.

At best, something is only partially explained in a limited and conventional sense.

MYSTERY AS A PROJECTION

When we seek mystery in a conventional sense – UFOs, cryptids, unsolved cases – I suspect it’s partly a projection.

We are already living the mystery. It’s everywhere and unavoidable.

If we don’t notice it, then we seek it “out there” in a conventional sense.

When we notice, and to the extent it’s a living reality to us, it’s here and we don’t need to seek it out in those ways. It can be fun, now and then, and as a spice, but it’s not necessary for satisfying our craving for mystery.

Why do we crave mystery? Because we are it. We crave the mystery we are. We crave noticing the mystery we already are. We crave consciously living from and as it.¹

And those too are questions. This too is a mystery.

MY STORY WITH THIS

As far back as I remember, I have lived with an experience of awe and mystery of life, punctuated by times when it came much more in the foreground.

Before school age, I had memories of the time before this incarnation, between lives. I remember standing in the yard looking at the stars when I was ten and profoundly experiencing what Carl Sagan pointed to: We are the local eyes, ears, thoughts, and feelings of the universe. We are the universe bringing itself into consciousness. I remember sleeping under a starry sky in the Norwegian mountains and having that experience even more deeply. As a kid, I was fascinated by ESP, ghosts, UFOs, and anything mysterious.

In the initial oneness shift when I was sixteen, it was clear that all is a mystery and all is a mystery to itself. Thoughts cannot even begin to touch it. That’s still here.

I don’t mind exploring some of the conventional mysteries of life, although they are happening within the larger mystery of all of existence. The real mystery is that anything is at all. It’s the mystery I am and live. It’s the mystery of all that thoughts cannot touch. It’s the mystery of all we still have to learn about everything in a conventional sense.

(1) The other side of this, and a more superficial craving, is to fill in the blank spaces, to put a story on whatever and tell ourselves that’s how it is. While our nature is mystery and craves knowing itself as mystery, we also have parts of us that wishes to feel safe and tries to feel safe by telling itself it knows.

Image created by me and Midjourney

When I am the most important one for another

Tuesday, 16 January, 2024Monday, 22 January, 2024 moe Leave a comment

Merlina, our beloved cat, helped me get something more viscerally.

For her, I was one of the two or three most important beings in the world. When I was with her, I was the most important being in her world. It was very clear².

How can that not wake up a sense of awe, reverence, and responsibility in me? How can that not change my behavior to be more attentive and wanting to make her life the best possible?

I AM THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO THE ONE I AM WITH

That’s how it is in my life in general. I am the most important person for my spouse. When I talk with someone, I am (very likely) the most important person in the world for that person at that moment. They are giving me their precious time and attention. They chose to give their attention to me over all other beings in the world. I become an important presence in their world.

If I am getting this viscerally, how does it change how I am with that person? Am I more present? More attentive? More interested in them and their world? Less distracted by my plans, agendas, and hangups?

I am far from “perfect” in this, but realizing it and getting it more viscerally is doing something with me, and I wish for it to change me and how I am with others.

THE OTHER IS CONSCIOUSNESS TO THEMSELVES

The other wing on this bird is realizing and getting viscerally that the other is fundamentally consciousness like myself. To myself, I am consciousness operating through and as this body¹. The world as I perceive it happens within and as the consciousness I am. That’s very likely the case for all beings.

We are all fundamentally consciousness to ourselves. We operate through whatever body is here – human, cat, insect, or whatever it is. To us, the world happens within and as the consciousness we are. We are a world.

That too opens up a sense of awe, reverence, and curiosity about myself and the other. It does something to me. To the extent I stay with this noticing and deepen into it, it transforms me and how I am with others and in the world.

ONGOING EXPLORATION

As usual, this is an ongoing exploration.

There is a lot of room for deepening and maturing into it, in my case.

And that’s part of the exploration and the adventure.

DIRECT NOTICING AND IMAGINATION

This is an example of a combination of direct noticing and imagination, as so much is.

I notice my nature. I am fundamentally consciousness and the world to me happens within and as this consciousness. That’s the direct noticing.

I imagine that others are that way too, whether they notice or not, and stay with that imagination and let it work on me. That’s the imagination part of it. It’s making use of projections.

It’s similar to being the most important person to the other. It comes from noticing that it’s that way for me. When I am with someone, that person is the most important being in the world to me whether I want to or not. That’s the noticing. And I imagine it’s the same for others. That’s making use of imagination and projections.

(1) This body happens to be human with a particular identity but it could be any other body of any species. That realization itself is transformative. The consciousness I am could, if things were a little different, function through and as any of the bodies out there. In some ways, it does since consciousness – pure consciousness – is very likely the same everywhere.

(2) Maybe it was more clear because she was not an imagination-fascinated human. She was more here and now. She didn’t get lost in her imagination about the past or future. She was here with me. I was her world.

The image is created by me and Midjourney

Do more awaken these days?

Tuesday, 26 December, 2023Tuesday, 26 December, 2023 moe Leave a comment

I have written about this before and will briefly revisit it:

Some folks seem to think that more people awaken these days compared to the past.

IS IT TRUE?

It’s impossible to know if it’s true or not.

To know, we would have to (a) have a solid and reliable definition and way of sorting people into one category or the other, and (b) have done global studies at different times through history using representative samples. We would also have to assume that all of this yields solid data, which is unlikely.

That has not happened, and likely won’t happen unless there is a major shift within academia and our collective worldview and priorities.

WHY MAY IT APPEAR THAT WAY?

What are some reasons why it appears that more awaken these days?

It may be selection or confirmation bias.

(a) We know about more people who awaken than before because of global communication and the internet. Anyone these days can have a blog like this one, or join the many online groups and communities on these topics.

(b) Also, the vast majority of the ones who were awake in the past are likely unknown to us. Information about them is lost to time. We only know of the rare few who happened to become public personalities and whom we still have records of. (Today, a very small fraction of the many who awaken are publicly known, and there is no reason to think that was different in the past.)

There are more people in the world, so it makes sense if more awaken. The percentage may be the same or similar to before, which means a higher number.

More may actually awaken for whatever reason. For instance, because there is easier access to teachers and effective methods these days. If we are in a situation where our system is primed for awakening, there are more resources to help shift the system into that state.

MAKING USE OF THE QUESTION

As usual, I am less interested in the conventional answer to the question and more interested in how I can make practical use of it.

The question is an invitation for me to think about it soberly. To identify my hopes and fears and biases, and think about it in an honest and grounded way, as much as is possible for me.

It’s also an invitation to look more directly at my stories and projections.

As mentioned, it may be wishful thinking. Do I hope it’s that way? What do I hope would come out of it? If I tell myself more awaken, what do I find when I examine that thought? If I tell myself it would be better, what do I find when I examine that thought? What am I afraid would happen if it’s not true?

It can also be another form of projection. It may happen here, and I may not notice it fully, so I imagine it in the world instead. I imagine in the world what’s happening here.

WHO OR WHAT AWAKENS?

I am writing about awakening here as someone who awakens.

That’s understandable and not wrong, and yet it’s also not the whole picture.

To most, it may look like someone who awakens. It’s lived through and as a person. And if the other is identified primarily as their human self, then they’ll tend to see others that way as well. To them, it looks like a person who awakens.

To ourselves, it’s a release of identification out of being anything in particular within content of consciousness. What we are awakens to itself and out of these more limited identifications. It’s the consciousness we are, or the wholeness we are, that awakens to itself.

I would say that it’s the consciousness we are that awakens to itself. It’s consciousnesses awakening to itself, or not.

Another side to this is that it’s not one or the other. It’s a process with a lot of nuances and wrinkles.

I tend to see it more as a degree of awakeness in a system. It’s more or less stable through daily life and different situations. More or less of our psyche is on board with it. Our center of gravity is more or less in our nature recognizing itself. We have more or less maturity in how we live from and as it. Our human self is more or less healed and mature in a conventional sense. And so on.

Image by me and Midjourney

Sting: You could be me in another life, in another set of circumstances

Monday, 13 November, 2023Tuesday, 14 November, 2023 moe Leave a comment

Don’t judge me
You could be me
In another life In another set of circumstances
– Sting in Tomorrow we’ll see

This refrain from Sting frequently comes to mind when I see people in different situations and with other values and orientations from me.

I could be them, in another life, in another set of circumstances.

We are both the product of a slightly different set of infinite causes going back to the beginning of time and out to the widest extent of existence.

Their life, my life, are both expressions of existence, of this universe. We are expressions of this living planet. We are expressions of the same seamless whole.

I can find them in me. I could be them.

In a very real sense, I am them. Whatever story I have about them, I can turn around to myself and find genuine and specific examples of where it’s true. To me, they happen within and as the consciousness I am. The consciousness I am forms itself into my experience of them and all I see in them. It’s me.

Ken Wilber’s bashing of “unhealthy green”

Monday, 18 September, 2023Tuesday, 19 September, 2023 moe Leave a comment

When I see people do green-bashing, it looks a lot like they are fighting their own shadow.

First, what am I talking about?

Ken Wilber has popularized Spiral Dynamics which is a model of adult value development. What do we value? How does this tend to change as we grow and mature?

One of the stages described in this model is the green stage. The values here are inclusivity, taking care of nature, considering the needs of future generations, and so on. Many who are into sustainability or intentional communities are here or have it as part of their value package.

Predictably, this is a set of values that tend to come after – or be added onto – a typical modern mindset where we value democracy, science, and so on. We see that although there is much good here, it’s not quite sufficient. We also need to take care of life.

What people tend to mature into after the green values is a more integral approach, an approach where we see the function and value of the many different value-sets people operate from. Here, we can find it all in ourselves, make use of whatever makes sense in the situation, and see a bigger picture of how it all fits together.

What’s peculiar about Ken Wilber is his green-bashing. He often talks about “unhealthy green” which is not a problem in itself. If we want, we can easily find apparently unhealthy expressions of each of the different value-sets. So why is he so focused on it? Why does it seem to have an emotional charge for him? Why does he seem reactive? Why does it appear to be a hangup for him?

One answer may be his own personal experiences. I don’t know him or his life so I cannot say much about it. But I guess that he may have interacted with people who fit into an “unhealthy green” category in his mind, and he hurt himself in how he reacted to what they said and did.

To me, the green-bashing of Ken Wilber and his followers looks like shadowboxing. It looks like they are fighting their own shadow. It looks like they are fighting these sides of themselves.

And why do people mimic Ken Wilber in this? Again, I am not sure. One possibility is that they admire him and perhaps have their own identity mixed in with his, so they want to follow in his footsteps also here.

NOTES

Models like Spiral Dynamics have their value. They can help us organize data and find patterns. At the same time, they also have their limits. They are all models. They are mental representations of phenomena that are far more rich and complex and also different in nature from these representations. They are to be held lightly and used carefully.

Why don’t I engage in green-bashing? Because it seems a bit silly to me. It looks so obviously like a shadow hangup. Also, I don’t have much personal experience with the “unhealthy” side of green. And what KW and others do tastes a bit of bullying and I am much more likely to go after the bully than to join in with the bullying.

What’s my history with Ken Wilber? I absolutely loved No Boundary when I found it in the ’80s and devoured everything he published for a couple of decades after that. In the late 2000s, I got into some online integral communities and quickly got disenchanted with it all. I am sure his more recent books have value but I haven’t read them.

Why did I get disenchanted? One aspect is seeing how he obviously (and apparently unnecessarily) misrepresented certain people and approaches in his own books. That gave me a bad taste in the mouth. Another is the green bashing he and his followers engaged in. I also noticed how some of his followers seemed to use integral theory to put others down and elevate themselves, and how they seemed to take models as gospel truth instead of recognizing them as questions about the world.

We see others as we see ourselves

Tuesday, 25 July, 2023Tuesday, 25 July, 2023 moe Leave a comment

We see others as we see ourselves.

OBJECT WITHIN EXPERIENCE

If we take ourselves to primarily be an object within consciousness, then we tend to see others that way.

We see ourselves as this body and psyche, and see others as primarily that body and psyche.

We see ourselves as a doer and observer and see others as doers and observers.

We quite literally objectify others and ourselves.

That’s understandable since we do as others do, and that’s what most people do these days.

CONSCIOUSNESS

If we find ourselves fundamentally as consciousness, then we tend to see others as that.

We see ourselves as fundamentally consciousness operating through this body and psyche, and others as consciousness operating through that particular body and psyche.

To us, the world happens within and as the consciousness we are, and we assume that’s how it is for others as well. (Based on their reports and what makes logical sense.)

We find ourselves as what the world, to us, happens within and as, and assume that’s how it is for others.

We find ourselves as oneness and assume others are onenesses as well, whether they notice or not.

IMPLICATIONS

What effect does it have to viscerally find ourselves as one or the other, and see others as the same?

If we see ourselves and others as fundamentally objects, then we literally objectify ourselves and others. We assume that the limited and distorted stories we have about ourselves and others are accurate and perhaps even all there is. We see ourselves as objects in the world at the mercy of other objects and living within time and space. We experience that we move through the world. We experience distance and time as real and inherent in the world. We experience the world as fundamentally matter.

If we find ourselves as fundamentally consciousness, then a lot changes. We realize that any story is a story and question about ourselves, others, and the world. They cannot hold any full, final, or absolute truth. We find ourselves as what time and space, to us, happens within and as. In a car or when walking, we experience that the world moves through us. We experience the world as fundamentally consciousness since, to us, it happens within and as the consciousness we are.

IN MY CASE

I can dip and imagine into the first way of experiencing myself, others, and the world. And parts of my psyche still operate from it. But in general, it’s so long since the initial oneness shift that I have problems connecting with it in a strong and solid way.

In general, I viscerally find myself as consciousness. The world happens within and as the consciousness I am. This body happens within and as consciousness, just like anything else. It all happens like a night dream, within and as consciousness.

I imagine others as that too, and that gets stronger and more clear when I bring attention to it. To me, they too are consciousness. They are consciousness operating through that particular body and psyche. (That’s exciting, the differences and “otherness” of it is exciting.) And that opens for compassion and empathy. They are like me (they are consciousness to themselves) and (like me) operate through a unique body and psyche.

And there is always further to go and more to explore within this.

A FEW NOTES

I’ll add a couple of short notes.

This is all about projections. I find myself as something and assume others are like that too. It’s an assumption – whether I assume they are fundamentally objects or fundamentally consciousness.

This is also about where our “center of gravity” is. It’s about what we viscerally find ourselves to be. Knowing about it or glimpses of it are good first steps, and – through grace and often intention and explorations – it becomes something that’s immediate and visceral.

If you don’t like the outcome of certain policies, blame the voters and yourself, not struggling minority groups

Sunday, 30 April, 2023Tuesday, 2 May, 2023 moe Leave a comment

I heard someone today blame struggling minority groups (refugees) for the lack of funding for certain groups of people in Norway.

To me, that’s absurd. This is a question of policies and political priorities. That group is not helped sufficiently because it has not been a priority. And it’s not been a priority because people have voted certain political parties into power.

If you want to blame someone, blame those voters. Blame yourself if you voted for them, and for not getting engaged to make a change. Take a look at the real cause of the situation.

Don’t put the blame on other struggling groups. They are not in any way to blame.

The people who tend to blame minority groups in this way are often the very same people who vote for political parties that created the situation in the first place. They blame struggling minority groups for the policies they voted into place. (Often by voting for conservative and libertarian parties.)

And the more shameless political parties do the same. They blame minority groups for the consequences of the policies they themselves put in place.

Psychology 101: My culture is inside me

Thursday, 27 April, 2023Thursday, 27 April, 2023 moe Leave a comment

Throughout my daily life, I notice parts of me responding to situations, people, and trains of thought. Mostly, these parts respond with judgments. They are not aligned with my “global” or conscious view. And they come from my culture.

I notice them. Flash on where they come from. Notice what’s more true for me. And they are gone.

WHAT ARE THESE THOUGHTS?

As mentioned, these thoughts are mostly judgments.

She is fat. (And that’s bad.) He is ugly. (Bad.)

She is young, slim, and attractive. (Good.) He is well dressed. (Good.)

If I eat fast food, I am one of those people. (Bad.)

They are at that restaurant, so they must be sophisticated. (Good.)

He is Muslim. (Dangerous.) She looks unkept. (Not good.)

And so on.

WHY DOES IT HAPPEN?

So why does this happen?

It’s because we learn from others. Our mind absorbs whatever is out there in the culture – from family, school, friends, media, movies, books, lyrics, and so on.

And the more often we are exposed to it, and the more charge it has (even if we just see it having charge for the other person), the more likely it is to go in and come up again.

The job of our mind is to absorb it all and then give it back to us whenever it’s relevant. (And sometimes when it’s not obviously relevant!)

It’s natural and essentially innocent.

RELATE TO IT MORE CONSCIOUSLY

Although if we join in with these thoughts and act on them, that can be quite harmful to ourselves (psychologically) and others (in life and society).

So it’s good to find a more conscious relationship to these dynamics.

I can notice these thoughts and reactions in me.

And I can find what’s more true for me than the stereotypes these thoughts typically reflect.

I can relate more intentionally to the way different parts of me respond to something.

THE BIGGER PICTURE: THE WORLD IS MY MIRROR

There is a bigger picture here.

The world is my mirror. Whatever characteristics and dynamics I see “out there” in others and the world are also here in me. They may be expressed in different situations and in different ways. And the essence is the same. (For instance, whenever I react with aversion to someone or something, the essence of that reaction is often the same as what I am reacting to. I am doing the same as what I see out there in that moment.)

And it’s all happening within my sense fields. To me, others and the world happen within and as my mental field and sometimes my other sense fields. It’s happening within and as what I am. It’s happening within and as the consciousness I am. “Out there” is really “here”. “He she it they” is really “me”.

INTERNALIZATION AND OVER-I

I like to use simple and ordinary language and avoid jargon, but I want to mention a couple of things.

This is often called internalization. We internalize our culture and it lives on in us. It’s how culture is passed on and it’s how we can have a culture in the first place.

And it’s also what Freud called the over-I or – through mistranslation – the superego. The essence of his insights is often valuable, although some of what comes from him are specific to his own culture, and there are simpler and more effective ways to do therapy.

Note: After writing this, a video on this topic popped up on YouTube. From 1-10 how racists are you (Cut). It’s good to see that many these days are aware of unconscious biases that we pick up and learn from the society we live in, and actively seek to be aware of them and counter them.

Solaris

Saturday, 4 March, 2023Thursday, 9 March, 2023 moe Leave a comment

I saw Tarkovsky’s Solaris in a movie theater in Oslo when I was around twenty and it made a big impression on me. I LOVED it.

Here was a movie that reflected how we relate to our own unprocessed psychological material.

On an ocean planet, there is a human research station. If people there have something unresolved with someone important from their past, the ocean will manifest these people. It’s impossible to get rid of them since they just come back, and it’s impossible to leave since it’s a research station far from Earth. It’s the perfect alchemical vessel. Some can’t deal with it and go crazy, and others take it as an opportunity to process and find a resolution.

That’s a metaphor for life. Life (in the form of our mind) will always bring up what’s unprocessed in us, and we can relate to it in a few different ways. We can try to ignore it and pretend it’s not there. We can struggle with it and try to make it go away. And we can meet it, process it, find some kind of resolution, and perhaps even grow from it.

At the time – in my teens and early twenties – I was deeply into Jung. I read everything the bookstores in Oslo (Norli, Tanum) could get from him, which was a few dozen books, and absorbed it like a sponge. And Solaris, of course, fits perfectly with exploring our shadow and finding healing for old unresolved issues.

I haven’t seen Solaris since then so perhaps it’s time to rewatch it. I have also wanted to read the story it’s based on, written by Stanislav Lem.

P.S. I see the movie is available on YT now.

P.P.S. It’s now a few days later and I have listened to the audiobook and rewatched the movie. The story is certainly very Jungian and about the shadow, and full of reflections and metaphors. I still love the essence and that aspect of it. And I also see that this is something I loved at that time, in early adulthood, and I am now drawn to slightly different kinds of movies and books. (More gentle and heartfelt ones.)

Alejandro Jodorowsky: I am the others, the others are me

Thursday, 9 February, 2023Thursday, 9 February, 2023 moe Leave a comment

I am the others, the others are me
– Alejandro Jodorowsky in Jodorowsky’s Dune

I can find several ways it’s true.

The first two are more loose and poetic. The next three are something we can check out for ourselves in our direct noticing. And the last one either depends on our definition or is an assumption – at least for me now.

POETIC & SENSE OF US

We can mean it in a loose and poetic way.

I have a sense of fellowship and a sense of us.

So I am you and you are me in the sense that we are all in it together.

SYSTEMS VIEW

We are all part of and expressions of larger social and ecological systems.

We are expressions and parts of a larger whole, just like cells are part of a larger organism.

We are the local eyes, ears, thoughts, and feelings of the universe.

In this sense too, I am you and you are me.

MIRROR

I see in others what I know from myself, whether I know I know it from myself or not.

I can take any story I have about someone else (or anything in the world), turn it to myself, and find genuine and specific examples of where it’s true.

You are my mirror. You are me.

I am your mirror. I am you.

This is something I can find for myself by exploring projections. One of my favorite ways is through inquiry and especially The Work of Byron Katie.

SENSE FIELDS

To me, the world happens within and as my sense fields.

To me, any experience is found within sight, sound, smell, taste, sensations, thoughts, and so on.

To me, you happen within and as my sense fields.

Here too, you are me. And to you, I am you.

This is something I can explore and find for myself, by noticing my sense fields and how any experience happens within them. Traditional Buddhist sense field explorations are especially good for this.

WHAT I AM

In one sense, I am this human self in the world. That’s an assumption that’s not wrong and it works pretty well.

And when I look closer at what I am in my own experience, I find something else.

I find I more fundamentally am capacity for the world and anything that happens in my sense fields. I am what allows any and all experience, including what I think of as you.

I am what the world, to me, happens within and as. I am what you, to me, happen within and as.

If I want to put labels on it, I can say that to me, I am consciousness and the world happens within and as this consciousness I am.

In a very literal sense, you are me. And to you, I am you, whether you notice or not.

This is also something I can check out and find for myself, perhaps most effectively through forms of inquiry like the Big Mind process and Headless experiments, and also Basic Meditation.

SPIRIT

We can take this one step further.

If we call all of existence Spirit, the divine, or God, we can say that we are all aspects and expressions of Spirit.

I am you and you are me.

AI images – water people – week #5

Saturday, 14 January, 2023Tuesday, 7 July, 2026 moe Leave a comment

A collection of water people, an undersea dream by me and Midjourney.

What would this represent in a dream? Being completely at home in the watery world of the emotions?

I love to explore AI images as I would a dream. The AI and I dream up images together, and they resonate with something in me. I can explore them as I would a dream. In this case, these water people seem to evoke a wish in me to be completely at home in the watery world of the emotions. How would it be to be as comfortable with my emotions as these people are in the water?

See more of my AI explorations here: https://www.instagram.com/chrysopoeia_ai_art

Update: A few weeks after creating these, I watched Wakanda Forever where an underwater people (the Talokanil) look a lot like these images. Did I see some images from the movie without consciously remembering? Was the AI trained on images from the movie so that when I asked for underwater coral people, the images created came out similar to the movie? Or is it just an example of currents in the culture leading to similar imagery?

Reduced capacity to set emotional issues aside in an awakening process and from exhaustion

Saturday, 14 January, 2023Saturday, 14 January, 2023 moe Leave a comment

When we have a reduced capacity to set aside emotional issues, they tend to naturally surface.

And that can happen in several different situations.

FATIGUE AND DYSREGULATION

I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS/ME), and this is far from regular tiredness. It’s a profound fatigue and dysregulation of the whole system.

When my system is extra fatigued, it’s no longer able to regulate very well. It has trouble regulating temperature (too hot, too cold), thoughts (difficult to think clearly and make decisions), emotions (more sensitive, reactive), and much more.

This includes difficulty regulating emotional issues. When my system has more resources, it can more easily set old emotional issues aside. (Although they will always color perception and actions.) And when it’s more fatigued, these old issues surface more easily.

That’s one reason I prefer to just go to bed when this happens and set aside any tasks or conversations for when my system functions a little better. (And often, I don’t have much choice. My system desperately needs that rest and anything else is automatically set aside.)

OUR NATURE RECOGNIZING ITSELF

When our nature recognizes itself, something similar can happen.

For a while, it takes itself to most fundamentally be this human self, a separate being in the world. Or, at least, it pretends to do this since others do it.

And then, the oneness we are recognizes itself. It shifts out of its temporary self-created trance.

And, as Adyashanity says, this can take the lid off a lot of things, including anything very human and unprocessed in us. What’s unprocessed comes to the surface to be seen, felt, loved, recognized as love, and recognized as having the same nature as we do.

I am not sure of the exact mechanism, but here is my best guess: It takes active regulation for the oneness we are to pretend – to itself and others – that it’s a separate being, something specific within its content of experience. When it recognizes its nature, it is no longer actively regulating, and that (sometimes) means it’s also not actively regulating old emotional issues. It’s no longer setting them aside, so they surface.

This doesn’t always happen. It can happen a while after oneness first recognized itself. (In my case, it happened several years into the process.) And when it happens, the oneness we are can react with confusion, feeling overwhelmed, fear, and much more.

It’s humbling, it can be very messy. And – as Evelyn Underhill said – it’s a very human process. And it’s not necessarily easy. In my case, it’s been the most challenging phase of my life by far.

And it’s also necessary. For the oneness we are to live from consciously recognizing itself, our human self needs to be a good vehicle. And that vehicle needs tune-up and cleaning. Any remaining emotional issues (beliefs, identifications, emotional issues, traumas) operate from separation consciousness, and they inevitably color our perception and life even if they don’t seem activated.

So they surface to be seen, felt, loved, and recognized as part of the oneness we are. They surface to join in with the awakening.

OTHER SITUATIONS WHERE OUR REGULATION FALTERS

There are other situations where our system has trouble setting aside emotional issues.

The most obvious is when strong emotional issues are triggered, and our mind identifies with what comes up. Here, we take on the perspective and identity of the issue and actively perceive and act as if we are that part of us. We may not even try to relate to it in a more intentional or mature way.

I suspect it also happens in some kinds of mental illness, and under influence of some kinds of drugs. (Sometimes this happens when drinking alcohol.)

CHALLENGES & GIFTS

There are challenges and gifts in our system being unable to set aside old emotional issues.

I imagine the challenges are familiar to most of us. It’s uncomfortable. It can feel overwhelming. We may get caught up in the struggle with what’s surfacing. And we may get caught up in what’s surfacing and view the world and act as if we are that hurt and confused part of us.

There are also gifts here. When these issues surface, we get to see them. It’s an invitation to see, feel, and find genuine love for what’s here. It’s an invitation to examine these confusing and hurting parts of us. It’s an invitation to get to know them. It’s an invitation to recognize that and how they operate from (painful) separation consciousness and unexamined and painful beliefs.

It’s an invitation to find healing for our relationship with them and to find healing for the issues themselves.

All of this is can seem obvious if we are familiar with it, but navigating it is often anything but easy. It takes skill, dedication, experience, and time.

It’s not something that’s done and dusted. It’s an ongoing process.

It’s part of being a human being.

It’s part of being oneness taking on the role of this human being in the world and living that life.

And it’s also where awakening and healing become one process. Where the two are revealed as aspects of the same seamless process.

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