Sting: You could be me in another life, in another set of circumstances

Don’t judge me
You could be me
In another life In another set of circumstances

– Sting in Tomorrow we’ll see

This refrain from Sting frequently comes to mind when I see people in different situations and with other values and orientations from me.

I could be them, in another life, in another set of circumstances.

We are both the product of a slightly different set of infinite causes going back to the beginning of time and out to the widest extent of existence.

Their life, my life, are both expressions of existence, of this universe. We are expressions of this living planet. We are expressions of the same seamless whole.

I can find them in me. I could be them.

In a very real sense, I am them. Whatever story I have about them, I can turn around to myself and find genuine and specific examples of where it’s true. To me, they happen within and as the consciousness I am. The consciousness I am forms itself into my experience of them and all I see in them. It’s me.

Sting: Don’t judge me, you could be me in another life, in another set of circumstances

Don’t judge me

You could be me in another life

In another set of circumstances

– Sting, Tomorrow We’ll See

As so often, this is very simple and there is also a lot here.

The actions of any of us would make sense if we knew their background and inner and outer situation.

We could easily have been born into another set of circumstances.

If we are in a privileged inner or outer situation, it’s ultimately not our own doing. It’s all given to us by our family, society, culture, and ultimately Life. Even our talents, motivation, and drive is given to us.

Whatever story I have about you, I can turn it around to myself and find where it is true. I can find examples here and now, and from the past.

When I explore what I am in my own first-person experience, I find I am capacity for the world. I am what the world, to me, happens within and as. To me, you happen within and as what I am.

If I don’t notice what I mentioned above, it’s because of a hangup I have. And I can explore that hangup. I can befriend it, get to know it, and invite it to heal and wake up.

Sincerity on the spiritual path

Professor Broom: In medieval stories, there is often a young knight who is inexperienced, but pure of heart.
John Myers: Oh, come on. I am not pure of heart.
Abe Sapien(who’s psychic) Yes, you are.
Professor Broom: Rasputin is back for him. What I’m asking of you is to have the courage to stand by him when I am gone. He was born a demon; we can’t change that. But you will help him, in essence, to become a man.

– from Hellboy (2004), quoted in Wikipedia

One of the most valuable qualities on a healing and spiritual path is sincerity, a pure heart. As Broom says, this is a recurrent theme in some of the traditional legends and perhaps most famously the grail legend (Perceval).

Sincerity allows us to be more honest with ourselves, and that’s essential for emotional healing, awakening, and embodiment.

Is also essential for having a meaningful and juicy relationship with ourselves and others, one that allows for authenticity, growth, and surprises.

If we have some sincerity, it doesn’t matter so much if we are young or inexperienced on the path we are on. Sincerity is gold, and we can always learn tools and we will gain experience.

Is sincerity something we can learn or develop? Perhaps not. But I can notice when I am not sincere and I can then shift into sincerity.

Sometimes, it’s not so easy. We may be caught in fear of a situation or something coming up in us and retreat into defensiveness to try to stay safe. That’s OK. Again, it helps to notice. I can be honest with myself about what happened. And that, in itself, is sincerity.

It also helps to notice what in me takes me away from sincerity. What is the fear about? What is the fearful story? What beliefs do I find? Identifications? And then explore it further, befriend it (find healing for my relationship to it), and perhaps find healing for the issue itself.

As I wrote the second paragraph (“Sincerity allows us….”), I noticed a synchronicity in the lyrics of the song I was listening to:

There are times when a man needs to brave his reflection,
And face what he sees without fear,
It takes a man to accept his mortality,
Or be surprised by the presence of a tear.

– Sting and Rob Mathes, I love her but she loves someone else

Image: The Achievement of the Grail by British Artist Sir Edward Burn-Jones design, William Morris execution and John Henry Dearle flowers and decorations, from the Holy Grail tapestries 1891-94, Museum and Art Gallery of Birmingham, wool and silk on cotton warp.

Sting: Practical Arrangement

When I listen to this song, I am struck by two things:

First, that it’s an antidote to my own (more romantic, idealized) view. Can I hold both, and find the validity in both? How would it be to live from that?

Then, how much love there is in this song and the views that are expressed. There is a deep love for himself and for the woman and what they can have together. A thought may say this is devoid of love, and that may be true in terms of traditional romantic love. And yet, there is a deep and different love here.

I am also reminded of a few things about love. (a) It’s always here. It’s what we are (although sometimes covered up by beliefs). (b) Liking and preferences is another thing, and I can find love for someone even if I don’t like him or her, or want to spend my life – or much time at all – with that person. (c) Romantic love is again something different, and it tends to fade. And (d) there is also a deep sense of soul level love that may or may not be there, and is more about resonance and recognition at a deep level. And this too can look any number of ways in outward appearance (friend, lover, not in contact etc.).

In my life, so far, I have already experienced a number of combinations of these. I have experienced love and not liking someone. I have experienced and liking someone. I have experienced romantic love with and without the soul love. And I have experienced the soul love as friends, lovers, and in the absence of contact.

Sting’s Shadow Integration

Listening to Sting, I am reminded of how elegantly he often works with shadow projection.

In many of his songs he writes from a first person perspective about roles we often see as “other”.

In Tomorrow We’ll See it is a male transvestite prostitute. In Fill Her Up, a poor and uneducated gas station employee running off with the cash box. In I Hung My Head, a man inadvertently becomes a murderer.

From a first-person perspective and in the context of a beautiful and catchy song, I am brought into the inside view of these situations. This allows me to see that it could be me, and open up for genuine empathy from recognition. It allows me to become a little more human.