The inner smile

I was deeply fascinated by Taoism in my teens and read all I could find, did tai chi and chigong, and also used many of the practices described by Mantak Chia in his books.

One of these, and perhaps my favorite, was the inner smile.

I am now drawn to it again, and am reminded of how much I enjoy it and how transformative it can be.

Here is the brief description, as I remember it:

Smile in your mind to each of the organs and systems in your body. Smile to the eyes, ears, nose, mouth, brain, brain stem, nervous system, lungs, heart, kidneys, and so on. Take time with each one. Do this is the morning, and later in the day if you are drawn to it.

This is a heart-centered practice that helps shift how we relate to our body, and I notice how it shifts how I relate to myself and life in general. Knowing that mind and body are aspects of the same seamless system, it most likely also supports our health.

Tradition or truth?

After the initial awakening when I was sixteen, I sought out books of people who may have had something similar happen – mainly Christian mystics, Buddhism, and Taoism. (This was before the internet and I didn’t have any spiritual teachers nearby.)

In Taoism, I found the most resonance. I could see that these people got it.

Within Christianity and Buddhism, I could see that whether or not these people got it, they often seemed to value tradition over truth. They would clothe what they said in traditional wording and even in traditional ideology, and that obscured the simplicity and clarity of awakening.

So the question is: do we value tradition or truth the most? Are we willing to sacrifice the simplicity and clarity so we can be more aligned with tradition? Or the other way around?

Of course, there doesn’t have to be one or the other. The ones with the most clarity and flexibility in how they express it can often do both.

From this, something else quickly became clear to me: traditions are about maintaining themselves. That’s their primary and obvious purpose. If there is genuine spiritual insights, guidance, and expression there, then that’s a bonus.

A caveat

I hesitate writing about this because it can easily be understood in a way it’s not meant. The truth this is about is not one found in words, and if we take it as something that can be found in words, it becomes an ideology. And if it becomes an ideology, it just becomes another tradition, even if it’s our own personal one. And if it becomes a tradition, then the main purpose of it easily becomes to maintain itself.

So as usual, this is something to be held very lightly. There is often a great deal of value in traditions. I am immensely grateful for them and the people maintaining them, and have benefited greatly from them.

It’s just that when we notice what we are, it’s free of traditions. All of them may point to it, but it cannot be contained by any of them.

Tao Te Ching: Stay at the center of the circle and let all things take their course

Stay at the center of the circle and let all things take their course.

– Tao Te Ching

This is the center Douglas Harding when he says that at the center, at zero distance, we are capacity for the world. Here, we all things happen within and as what we are. They live their own life. They take their course. And they do so whether we notice or not.

When we find ourselves as capacity for our world, we find ourselves as capacity for thoughts, feelings, reactions, choices, the activities of this human self in the world, and the wider world. It all happens within and as what we are. It all already lives its own life.

This is not “let all things take their course” in the sense of passively sitting back and not do anything at a human level. That’s a misunderstanding and comes from taking ourselves as fundamentally and ultimately this human being. The quote points to finding ourselves as what all happens within and as, and notice that all things already take their course and live their life, including this human self and its thoughts, emotions, choices, and activities in the world.

Men’s sexual health: replenishing lost energy and avoiding losing energy in the first place

It’s common for men to experience some fatigue or tiredness after losing semen. I notice that too, and I especially notice how my energy system feels empty, hollow, and weak in the kidney area and in the part of my energy system responsible for replenishing lost semen. Since I already have a weakness in my system (CFS), this additional loss of energy can impact me for one or more days.

With Vortex Healing, I have found a way to replenish this energy. Doing this, I hardly notice any weakness or loss of energy at all. (Fortunately, I and my partner are both Vortex Healers so we can do this together and it doesn’t take a very long time.)

It also helps me to avoid losing semen each time and instead chose when to lose and when to not, and only lose semen once a week or so. This can also help increase the pleasure and enjoyment for both partner. (My partner understands and is supportive of this, which makes it much easier.)

My own experiences

Teenage interest in Taoist sexual practices

I have noticed this loss of energy since my teens, and I was – at the time – very interested in Taoist sexual practices to maximize pleasure while avoiding losing energy.

I noticed I knew – instinctually or intuitively – how to have orgasm without losing semen. I used my intention to allow the orgasm while not ejaculating. I also noticed it was possible to experience different combinations of orgasm and ejaculation: Orgasm without ejaculation. Orgasm with ejaculation (conventional). Ejaculation without orgasm (once or twice although when this happens, I can continue).

Unfortunately, at the time and later, my partners were not very interested in Taoist sexual practices so I didn’t get to explore it as fully as I wanted. If I am honest, I gave up on these explorations after some years since my partners (serial monogamy) didn’t really understand and thought I didn’t experience pleasure if I didn’t ejaculate. (The contrary was actually the case.)

Now, I finally have a partner who understands and wants to explore this with me, so I get to continue my interest from my teens.

How I experience loss of semen

As mentioned earlier, I notice it mostly in my kidneys and the surrounding area. It feels like whatever systems and organs helps replenish semen are all depleted and weak after ejaculation. I usually notice this about 10-15 minutes after, and this is followed by a general sense of fatigue and depleted energy. It can impact me for days.

Why do my kidneys seem especially affected? It may be due to a previous chronic virus infection (Epstein-Barr), perhaps combined with emotional issues (fear etc.) impacting the kidneys.

And why did it sometimes impact me for days? It probably affects me more strongly than many others because of the chronic fatigue (CFS).

Using Vortex Healing to replenish sexual energy

With Vortex Healing, I have found a way to replenish this energy.

Immediately after loss of semen, it helps greatly to replenish prenatal jing and kidney essence, to energize my system in general, and intend for whatever else that needs it to be replenished and energized. (Fortunately, I and my partner are both Vortex Healers so we can do this together and it doesn’t take a very long time.) Doing this, I hardly notice any weakness or loss of energy at all. This is a dramatic change from how it was before I found this way of using Vortex Healing.

Using Vortex Healing for prevention and strengthening my system

In the bigger picture, it has helped me greatly to bring up the constitutional energy of the kidneys and my system in general, to work on my kidneys more specifically, to energize my system in general, and to work on energizing and optimizing my sexual system (including whatever parts of my body and energy system is responsible for replenish semen).

Additional notes

This is my experience, and it’s somewhat unusual since I am a Vortex Healing practitioner. How can others benefit from this?

Learn about Taoist (or similar) sexual practices. I have found Mantak Chia’s books useful.

Learn to enjoy sex without ejaculation.

And, if you want, ask a Vortex Healer to work on your system so you are less impacted by loss of semen. For instance, bring up prenatal jing and kidney essence (to a ten on a scale from one to ten), bring up the constitutional energy of the kidneys, the sexual system, and your system in general (especially energy channels), and bring up and optimize the main parts of your energy system (chakras, energy channels etc.).

I realize this sounds like an advertisement for Vortex Healing. In a sense, it is since it’s the most effective way I personally have found for working with the energy system in this way. If there are other ways, and you know about these and like them, then by all means use those 🙂

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Inner smile

The inner smile is a very simple exercise from Taoist yoga. (See the link for more details.)

When I do it, I notice a shift into holding my body in kindness and well-wishing, and this then naturally flows into the whole of my human self, any situation I am in, and others.

My personality may not like characteristics of my body or human self, or particular situations or people, but it doesn’t touch the kindness and well-wishing there for them.

The inner smile invites in an open heart, open for whatever is happening.

From a rigid view, ambivalent heart, reactive emotions, and general contraction, tension and identification with stories, there is a shift into a more fluid view, open heart, nurturing fullness, relaxation and a softening of identification with stories.

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