It is one year, to the day, that I received my first diksha here in the Bay area.

Initial diksha

During the initial diksha, I noticed an “empty light” which fell into my body as I moved afterwards.

The day after, and for several days, the center of gravity moved to the Witness and there was little or no identification with my human self. There was also a very intense headache, localized to my forehead and temples, although it was OK since there was little or no identification with it. It just happened in space as everything else.

During the following weeks, I had moments of a sense of crystal clarity. And some weeks after the diksha, there was a shift into Ground awakening – into everything happening without any I anywhere.

From a belief in the thought “I” placed on my human self, it was placed on the Witness, and then fell away completely. This lasted for two or three months, after which a vague sense of “I” returned.

During this time, the diksha energy continued to work on me. Initially, in the head and neck area. Then moving down into the upper body. And now in the abdomen and legs.

It also seems that the diksha energy can be invited to turn up the volume, at any time.


The diksha I received today, with the same diksha giver as the first time, also had a strong effect. First, there was the sense of empty light in the body which has stayed since the initial diksha. Gradually, there was a deepening of the now familiar silence and stillness. And then a deep sense of “blackness” within this stillness, which was new.

At some point, it shifted into a much deeper space, and I was also unable to move or talk for quite some time, feeling held immobile by the silence. There was also a sense of a mix of no identification, and of content that didn’t match any familiar identity.

Afterwards, the silence continues even as I talk and move around as usual, and there is a sense of deep contentment, fullness and quiet joy.

Note: I am re-reading this post following the more clear shift into endarkenment some months later, and realize that this was an early hint of this shift. (I am also adding “endarkenment” as a tag for this post.)

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