This human self is connected with my world in a special way

It’s not unusual in an awakening process to have apparently unusual experiences.

NOT KNOWING WHICH BODY WAS “MINE”

For instance, around fifteen years ago, I was in a Breema class in Oregon. We were three or four pairs practicing a new sequence. (On a beautiful Persian rug in front of the fireplace.)

And Big Mind shifted into the foreground (not unusual) and where there was no knowledge of which of the bodies were “mine” (less usual). There were several bodies in my field of vision.

Somewhere in me, there was the knowledge that “I” was supposed to be one of them. But it was impossible to find which one it was.

I am not sure how long it lasted, probably just a few seconds, and then it shifted again so I knew that this body – the one I can only see the arms, legs, and parts of the upper body of, is the one I am in the world.

HIGHLIGHTING CERTAIN ASPECTS

These types of experiences, which I have had many versions of, help us notice certain things about the relationship between who and what we are. And more than that, it gives us a viceral sense of it.

In this case, it showed me that as what I am, as Big Mind, any content of experience is essentially the same. As Big Mind, I form myself into any and all content of experience. My nature is the nature of all of these experiences. It’s all essentially consciousness. There is no special relationship with any of it.

At the same time, there is a special connection with this particular human self. Yes, it happens within the content of experience as anything else. It happens within my sense fields, including the mental field in the form of mental representations, just like anyone and anything. At the same time, this human self is the only one there is inside information about. It’s the only one whose thoughts, feelings, sensations, and so on are within this content of experience. And it’s the only one others consistently take me to be.

IN THE WORLD VS TO MYSELF

It’s perhaps not so much of a mystery.

In a conventional sense, to others, and to myself when I take on the identity of this human self, I am in this human self in the world. That’s not wrong.

It’s also not the whole picture.

To myself, in my own first-person experience, I find I am more fundamentally something else. I am more fundamentally capacity for the world as it appears to me. I am what the world, to me, happens within and as.

As what I am, this human self happens within and as what I am along with any other content of experience. As what I am, this human self is the only one I have consistent inside information about. And this human self is the only one others consistently take me to be.

NO SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP AND A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP

On the one hand, there is no special relationship between what I am and this human self. It happens within and as what I am, just like anything else. It lives its own life, just like anything else.

On the other hand, there is a special relationship with this human self. It’s the one there is inside information about. It’s the one others take me to be.


INITIAL OUTLINE

This human self is connected with my world in a special way 

  • In a conventional sense, to others, in the world, when take on that identity, is who I am in the world 
  • I get inside information from it, and outside info from other beings
  • Happens within/as what I more fundamentally am, as anything else 
  • We are our human self in a couple of different ways 
    • In a conventional sense, in the world, when take on that identity etc. 
    • As an aspect of what I am in my first-person experience 
  • More fundamentally 
    • Capacity + oneness
    • Including how this human self appears in my sense fields 
  • This human self is connected to my world in a special way 
    • Get inside information from it, sensory information + thoughts etc.  
    • And others see me as it 
  • My mind tells me there is a special connection, needs to remind me
    • Sometimes, for instance in Breema class, wasn’t sure which body was connected with my world in a special way, knew it was one of the bodies in the room but couldn’t remember which one 

In one sense, I am this human self in the world.

And in my own first-person experience, it’s different. Here, I find I more fundamentally are the capacity for the world and what the world happens within and as.

So how come there is a special connection with this human self?

….

At the same time, there is a special connection with this particular human self. Yes, it happens within the content of experience as anything else. It happens within my sense fields, including the mental field in the form of mental representations, just like anyone and anything. At the same time,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.